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  1. *

    Words:
    53,354
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    175
  2. *

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    Dwarrow women were rare- to the point that they could refuse kings their pleasure, where the men could not.

    During the quest in a company full of his cousins and nephews, Thorin Oakenshield decides to take pleasure in their burglar- a creature soft enough that Thorin can pretend the hips he grasp in the dark belong to a feminine creature.

    Bilbo Baggins doesn’t mind so much, being bed by a king of dwarves on the regular. She’s not as fond of bumming as he seems to be, but as long as no children come from it, it’s all just good fun innit? Still, it would have been nice if he’d asked first. Also, if they ever did it somewhere she could actually take her pants all the way off, that’d be nice.

    Language:
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    Words:
    16,020
    Chapters:
    6/7
    Comments:
    179
    Kudos:
    1573
    Bookmarks:
    430
    Hits:
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  3. *

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    At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren't complaining, and Bilbo isn't going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they're told.

    Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

    (Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

    *Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,065
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1180
    Kudos:
    4958
    Bookmarks:
    1993
    Hits:
    112702
  4. 84

    Words:
    89,956
    Works:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    85
  5. *

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    After the Battle of Five Armies, Bilbo isn't sure of his welcome in the mountain, and thus returns to the Shire as soon as he can. Somewhat to his surprise, Ori goes with him -- but it turns out Ori has his own reasons for leaving Erebor behind. Well, Bilbo's quite used to being the talk of the Shire.

    The line of Durin might suffer of thick skulls, but fortunately Kíli is less stubborn than his uncle and brother, and decides to fix things, even if that means taking his newlywed wife for a ride all the way to the Shire and beyond. Of course, he doesn't yet know what he'll see there -- but he does know how to fix things. Even if it means giving up his claim to the throne.

    (Let's not kid ourselves -- that's his favourite part.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,765
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    148
    Kudos:
    1975
    Bookmarks:
    563
    Hits:
    30736
  6. *

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    The greatest hobbit secret was actually the mathoms. Those curious bits of shiny that passed from hobbit hands without value or sense.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,627
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    644
    Bookmarks:
    149
    Hits:
    6620
  7. *

    Words:
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    Works:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    478
  8. *

    Words:
    124,990
    Works:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    762
  9. *

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    There are many trials for a hobbit attempting to make a life among dwarves. A hobbit wants a garden. A hobbit wants to eat regular meals. A hobbit wants friends, good books, and comfortable chairs. Bilbo does his best to carve out a little hobbit life for himself in the mountain. If only there were not one final obstacle. For a hobbit heart wants love, and among dwarves that is a sticky subject.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    89,912
    Chapters:
    34/34
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2077
    Kudos:
    3638
    Bookmarks:
    943
    Hits:
    62239
  10. *

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    It is known, but not much mentioned in polite company, that Belladonna’s only child is not Bungo’s.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,194
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    400
    Bookmarks:
    140
    Hits:
    2535
  11. *

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    It takes time for Oaks to grow into their majesty, time for pearls to come into their beauty. Sometimes, it takes even longer to truly forgive.

    Twenty five years after the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo is hiding away in a secret Hobbit sanctuary, raising the half-Dwarven children that Yavanna and Mahal blessed him with in the most extraordinary of ways. Thorin is ruling Erebor, trying to raise the half-Hobbit son he ripped from Bilbo's arms in the height of his gold-madness.

    A new evil is rising in Isengard and it will take a broken family coming together to see it defeated, once and for all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,285
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    520
    Bookmarks:
    200
    Hits:
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  12. 83

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    He made a promise, and she returned it. But in trying to save Kíli's life, she caused his death. Or so Tauriel thinks until she returns to Erebor to throw herself on the mercy of her unborn child's only kin and discovers that sometimes love outlasts death. But can it remain unchanged by the harsh realities of life?

    Given a second chance to keep their promise, Kíli and Tauriel must face their greatest battle yet. One that can't be fought with physical weapons. A battle of the heart.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    137,517
    Chapters:
    31/?
    Comments:
    743
    Kudos:
    498
    Bookmarks:
    83
    Hits:
    12666
  13. *

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    By the governing law of the Shire, Bilbo Baggins found himself Thain and reluctant diplomat of the hobbits; which, perhaps he wouldn't have minded if the circumstance's were different. Although seeing as he should have been several times removed before he were to obtain such a title, a desolation had befallen Hobbiton and they found themselves without a home and many without their family.

    Yet, with no way to return to the rolling hills of the Shire, Bilbo Baggins found himself in quite the situation indeed; arranged by lords and royalty, to honour aged treaties and debts of old: his hand to be given off to a king he's never met, for the security and safety of his people, and never in all his years would he have thought his life to come to this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    133,407
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    587
    Kudos:
    2006
    Bookmarks:
    608
    Hits:
    30671
  14. *

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    Belladonna Took was never one to lead a quiet and meek life, so when Gandalf and a company of dwarves came to her with adventure on their lips, she didn't hesitate to help them retake their mountain. Along the way she fell in love with the tumultuous Thorin Oakenshield, but when the gold madness seized him, she was banished from Erebor in disgrace.

    It was quite the scandal when she returned to the Shire and gave birth to her half-dwarven baby, Bilbo.

    But that, dear readers, is only the beginning of this story.

    For evil lurks in so many places. It lurks in genes of a noble family surrounded by their wealth. It lurks in creatures born to shadow.

    And unfortunately for our heroes, evil lurks in the hearts of those they call family and friend. After one of the Shire's own does the unthinkable, 6-year-old Bilbo is cast out into the wintry world alone.

    Yet all hope is not lost. For Bilbo has a dwarven father he doesn't even know of. A father who is a king. A king who is returning to the Shire.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,954
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    188
    Kudos:
    951
    Bookmarks:
    338
    Hits:
    19610
  15. *

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    As the winter grew longer, Thorin Oakenshield finds himself striking out early from the Blue Mountains in the search of work to feed his kin. As he traverses the Great East Road, Thorin and his Company stumble upon a violent wolf attack - and save the life of the Shire's young Thain.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,784
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    417
    Bookmarks:
    112
    Hits:
    2670
  16. *

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    Bilbo misinterprets some court gossip.
    He cuts his hair.
    Chaos ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,153
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    171
    Kudos:
    1707
    Bookmarks:
    293
    Hits:
    17564
  17. *

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    Summary

    They thought, when they'd found love, they had everything.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    91,731
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    602
    Kudos:
    631
    Bookmarks:
    131
    Hits:
    11876
  18. *

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    In another lifetime, it is the Shire that is attacked and stolen by a dragon for reasons unknown. Years later, Bilbo Baggins embarks on a journey to Erebor in a desperate attempt to find aid in reclaiming his homeland. But once there, he finds that taking on a dragon will be the least of his concerns as he struggles through trials, his own identity, and the King Under the Mountain.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    178,417
    Chapters:
    38/85
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    2361
    Kudos:
    3125
    Bookmarks:
    772
    Hits:
    65826
  19. *

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    In the end, Gimli thinks, Legolas will steal his heart and sail away with it, and even the wonders of the Glittering Caves are not enough consolation for that loss. But when Aragorn calls for Gimli’s help in dismantling the hidden traps of Orthanc, everything changes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,937
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    197
    Kudos:
    2575
    Bookmarks:
    750
    Hits:
    32220
  20. 51

    Words:
    19,840
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    51

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