1 - 20 of 143 Works in Dulcinea Septimus

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Harrow needs a rare book. Fortunately, Ianthe owns it. Unfortunately, what Ianthe wants in return forces Harrow to make a series of ridiculous trades.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,284
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    174
  2. Tags
    Summary

    "Griddle," she said, fixing her expression into one that clearly shot for disdain but landed in an exhausted kind of exasperation, "it means that if we want to get off this planet before we get roped into tea parties and ballroom dancing at the whim of Coronabeth Tridentarius, you and I have no choice but to uncover the identity of the murderer."

    Privately, Gideon could think of worse things than being roped into tea parties and ballroom dancing by the Crown Princess. Sneaking around a house full of cannibals with Harrowhark Nonagesimus was one of them. In fact, it was pretty close to the top of the list.

     

    The annual seven-day royal ball hosted by Coronabeth Tridentarius takes an awkward turn when a dead body shows up in the library. With Ida on lockdown until the murderer can be found, Harrowhark's plans to stay for a single night before getting the hell out and hopefully never setting foot on the Third House again are thrown into disarray, leaving her no choice but to solve the mystery herself. Enter Gideon Nav, Camilla Hect, Palamedes Sextus, and a social world of animaphiliacs that none of them are even remotely equipped to navigate.

    Or, the Murder Mystery AU you never knew you needed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,518
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    171
    Kudos:
    206
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    4186
  3. Tags
    Summary

    After the events of Doctor Sex, Dulcinea writes a letter to the Sixth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    426
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Hits:
    39
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The Emperor calls for eligible heirs to compete for a chance to marry his treasured progeny, Her Divine Highness, First Born of the First Reborn. Each week one House will be sent home until only one remains and the winning heir shall ascend to stand beside Her Divine Highness, hand in hand, with House replenished and legacy secured.

    Harrow does not intend to compete.

    Note: This story contains spoilers for Harrow the Ninth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,831
    Chapters:
    6/8
    Comments:
    286
    Kudos:
    941
    Bookmarks:
    216
    Hits:
    13023
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Palamedes has a lot of time to think in his little bubble on the River. He thinks of his friends, of perfect lyctorhood, of the theorems he never got to try in life, of Camilla. He also thinks of Dulcinea Septimus and all the ways he could have met her, if life had gone differently.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,290
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    111
  6. Tags
    Summary

    everyone is alive. everyone is on twitter. that's it, that's the plot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,198
    Chapters:
    3/10
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    82
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    545
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Ten years ago, the princess Gideon Gaius-Prime was declared missing after an attack on the palace. Harrowhark Nonagesimus plans to use this to her advantage. Unfortunately for her, she couldn't predict the appearance of a young woman named Gideon Nav.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,845
    Chapters:
    6/10
    Comments:
    132
    Kudos:
    127
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1816
  8. Tags
    Summary

    It is a truth universally acknowledged, Magnus used to joke, that a single person in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a spouse. What Magnus didn't seem to know, was what to do if that person was an absolute bag of dicks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,598
    Chapters:
    7/10
    Comments:
    138
    Kudos:
    111
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2198
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "You’re a virgin,” Gideon said, testing it out. "Huh."

    Harrow didn’t like the sound of that huh. She knew Gideon’s noises, and that was a thoughtful, sinister huh. That was the same huh she’d made before putting canned tuna in Crux’s work boots.

    Her eyes narrowed. “What.”

    Gideon cocked her head to the side. “Is there a reason you’re waiting?” There was no judgement in the question— only genuine curiosity.

    Perhaps it was this that made Harrow more inclined to answer. “I don’t have the time to look for someone new,” She shrugged. “And my available pool is… somewhat limited.”

    “Well,” Gideon said, with just a hint of conspiracy in those glittering golden eyes. “If you ever want to change that, you have my number.”

    What? What?

    Harrow blinked. “What?”

    Or: the five times Gideon and Harrow successfully bone, and the one time they don't.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,138
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    512
    Bookmarks:
    125
    Hits:
    5160
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “Oh, I was going to try and seduce you either way,” Dulcie says, and to her own astonishment Camilla believes her. It sounds like something she would do, somehow, like a wild and confident affirmation of life. “It’s really no hardship. You’re rather delicious, you know. I could tell from all the way on Rhodes. But it’s an offer, love, nothing more."
     
    Cam goes into heat. It does not go as planned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,000
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    839
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The heirs of the Nine Houses are summoned to Canaan House to attempt to attain Lyctorhood...and to put on a production of Macbeth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,008
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    753
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Communication between the Master Warden of the House of the Sixth and Duchess of Rhodes, in the 9,999th year of the King Undying.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,268
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    267
  13. Tags
    Summary

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that a scion in possession of a dying House must be in want of a wife. Preferably one with resources. Harrowhark is a house scion in need of a wife. Gideon Prime has the universe at her fingertips. The only problem is: they absolutely fucking hate each other. No offense.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,818
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Comments:
    225
    Kudos:
    253
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    6062
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Every year a necromancer and a non-necromancer are chosen from each of The Emperor’s nine houses to compete in a deadly trial of skills. The Necromancy Games are broadcast across the universe from the First House to remind the planets that they are at the mercy of the Prince Undying.

    Harrowhark has been training for The Games her entire life, and she’ll do whatever it takes to win.

    Gideon Nav never thought she’d go, until fate thrust her directly into a deadly game where all bets are off.

    Only one can win The Games.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,309
    Chapters:
    7/20
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    822
  15. Tags
    Summary

    "Then she started asking me questions. Who were my friends? Was I well enough to go out in public? Was I married? I told her a lot of hot bullshit,” finished Dulcie. “I knew she was going to take my place—thought maybe Camilla, at least, would figure out something was up... no such luck. I don’t even remember dying—I suppose that was nice of her.”

    Dulcie's last conversation, with Cytherea

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,446
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    27
    Hits:
    132
  16. Tags
    Summary

    "What ripping great fun!" exclaimed the cavalier. "We're down for infantry melee half this afternoon!"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,503
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    189
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "You sent a letter to God."

    "Yes, and now you can marry Dulcinea." A boorish blink. "Maybe you should send her something, you know."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    777
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    134
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Orphan, witch, and recently minted Gryffindor Quidditch team captain, Gideon Nav has a total of two goals for Sixth Year: get a girlfriend and beat Slytherin in the Inter-House Quidditch Cup. When the Triwizard Tournament returns to Hogwarts, however, it becomes clear that both fate and Harrowhark Nonagesimus have other ideas.

    A tale of magic, violence, romance, bones, and a frankly unreasonable number of reference texts (thanks, Palamedes).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,889
    Chapters:
    2/25
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    398
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It'd been two years since Gideon Nav gathered her wine key and her gaming license and escaped The Locked Tomb, a speakeasy-style cocktail bar managed by the hateful Harrowhark Nonagesimus. Now, dealing tables at The Mithraeum Hotel & Casino, things were really looking up. So when Gideon scored a date with the most beautiful showgirl in the Gilded Halls of Ida, the last thing she expected was to wake up married to her old nemesis and former coworker.

    The story starts the night of Gideon's date and alternates between the events leading up to the wedding and the weeks that follow as Gideon tries to navigate life married to someone who claims to want nothing more than to forget she exists.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,261
    Chapters:
    7/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    252
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    4192
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “Okay,” Dulcinea finally says, beginning to turn away from her. “Come.”

    “How many times do you think I’ve done that today?”

    With me, dummy.” She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling at Ianthe with both halves of her mouth. Ianthe wants to kiss both corners, wants to bring each one behind her lips and suck. Wants to eat her skin. Wants to devour her whole. “To my rooms.”

    -

    Ianthe accidentally gets exposed to sex pollen, and her ex offers to make it better.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,087
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    247

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