1 - 20 of 41 Works in Draco Malfoy is Clueless About Muggle Things

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Imagine a series focusing entirely on Draco Malfoy discovering the Muggle world; featuring a very annoyed Harry Potter (Because honestly, who the fuck wakes you up at 3am to ask how to use a fucking toaster).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,463
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    108
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1791
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Draco is struggling to keep his ducks in a row between healer training and helping Harry run his shop, but for the first time in years he's genuinely happy. ...Until Ron begs them for help with an Auror case and it all goes to hell again. (Sequel to The Redemption of Draco Malfoy)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,976
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2365
  3. Tags
    Summary

    It's been two years since the war. Blaise and Ginny are getting married. Draco is invited.But Aeroplanes scare the shit out of him.

    Harry is requested to join him on his journey.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    926
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    688
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Draco is determined to get the hang of all things muggle. So, he buys a juice extractor to prove to Harry (and the world) that he can handle this ridiculous device. Things don't go quite as planned, though.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    409
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    525
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Draco está aburrido en casa, sabe que el teléfono móvil es solo para emergencias, pero ¿qué es una emergencia? Para él, si se lo preguntan, el aburrimiento lo es, ¿y para Harry?

    Series
    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    2,459
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    192
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Draco is once again struck with how odd this entire morning has been. Standing in Harry Potter’s kitchen, making cake without magic, dutifully measuring and adding whatever it is he’s instructed into the two mugs on the counter.

    (or: Scorpius wants to hang out with Albus over Summer break, and Draco can't very well let his 2nd year son travel half way across London on his own, and so Draco finds himself spending the day with the one and only Harry Potter)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,972
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    264
  7. Tags
    Summary

    After the Battle of Hogwarts, things for Harry Potter should have gotten better. Some how they have gotten worse. The nightmares haven't changed, just more vivid with more faces. He couldn't stand social interaction and touching. He just couldn't stand his thoughts or the crushing guilt that was all but drowning him. He has a house he doesn't want, no job or career and is completely at lost to what to do with his life.

    Draco Malfoy is currently in hell. That is all he can think of. Muggle Hell. His life is currently falling apart and not just because his entire family has been sentenced to live like Muggles. He didn't know what he had been thinking when he had thrown Harry his wand. He had been stupid. All he could hear was Pansy screaming at him, his mother's terrified look and his father's disgusted one. He couldn't sleep at night and the guilt of such a stupid decision ate at him. He had thrown away his future, his friends, his education, all for what? On a gamble that stupid saint potter would be the end of it all, finally?

    They both were completely surprised when they recieved a letter from Hogwarts at the end of summer inviting them to redo their final year and graduate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,750
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    188
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    3678
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Draco has been stared at his entire life – even if the emotions propelling it had varied from envy to fear and then to contempt, he's used to being the centre of attention.
    The stares he gets when he dresses up as a Muggle and flirts his way into The Peach – a multi-storey, neon-ridden gay club – are of an entirely different nature.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,039
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    378
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    4763
  9. Tags
    Summary

    She managed to kiss my forehead leaving a smudge of sticky blood before drawing her last breath. I kneeled beside my mother trying to wake her but to no avail. Heavy sobs filled the air of the empty streets. I had done this.

     

    {Warning: This will not go exactly to the original storyline. It will most likely have spelling and grammar mistakes... but I try. There will be blood, cussing, sad events, etc if you don't like that (or are triggered by it) please refrain from reading. Thank You!}

     

    |||I DO NOT OWN THE HARRY POTTER SERIES OR THE PICTURES|||

     

    ~~EDITING~~

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,639
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    176
  10. Tags
    Summary

    How To Be A Malfoy (by Draco Malfoy):

    1. Malfoys are not weak.

    2. Malfoys are never late.

    3. Malfoys always know what to say.

    4. Malfoys are the priority.

    5. In the case of Essa Sterling, this list has been declared null.

    Or: the summer before Fifth Year, Draco meets someone that makes him smile too much and care too little. Complete.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,996
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1775
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Narcissa was not going to let her baby fly in blind. So, in desperation to protect her child from Voldemort and his evil she does the unthinkable. She reaches out to a very old friend who happens to be a master spy and a superhero to boot.

    Draco is in one hell of a ride. Being thrown into the muggle world without any experience? Check. Being alone in a building full of strangers? Check. Having to act and think like a muggle? That will stay unchecked for the foreseeable future...

    OR

    Where Narcissa is having none of Lucius and the magical world's shit and decides to take matter into her own hands even if it means Draco has to become a muggle superhero to do it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,070
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    182
    Kudos:
    498
    Bookmarks:
    122
    Hits:
    9554
  12. Tags
    Summary

    After the war, Draco Malfoy was given a choice.
    But what no one knew was that the Veil is more complicated than Severus Snape, more enigmatic than Albus Dumbledore, and as unpredictable as those Weasley Twins.
    Now Draco is trapped amidst horrifyingly advanced muggles, without a wand or a prayer. All he has are his wits, a surfeit of trust issues, scars and tattoos he'd rather not explain, and a raging case of xenophobia.
    Then the aliens attack...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,543
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    147
    Kudos:
    430
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    4435
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger's life becomes plagued by a violent stalker. Per request of the Ministry, Britain's brightest war heroine seeks refuge inside the one location where she's entirely untouchable.

    (**WINNER: Dramione FF Spring Awards for Best Hurt/Comfort Fic**)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,883
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    111
    Kudos:
    425
    Bookmarks:
    102
    Hits:
    7475
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Because of his family reputation, Draco Malfoy never expects to be sorted into Gryffindor house at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After being shunned and forgotten by his former Slytherin friends, Draco makes friendships with students he could never imagine in a million years.

    Dolores Jane Umbridge has come to Hogwarts this year, and after Cedric Diggory's death, students are convinced that You-Know-Who is back. Read the adventure of Draco Malfoy and his friends as they face secrets, lies, teenage love and drama, and the Wizarding World's most evil villains.

    contains: astronomy towers, unsent letters, muggle music, dancing at midnight, && second chances

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,975
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    365
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Harry wants to relax, and Draco just wants to stay warm. Perhaps they can come up with a compromise.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,924
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    158
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1935
  16. Tags
    Summary

    I have a neighbour. He is stuck in a loveless relationship and an arranged marriage. He has zero experience in bed. He needs my help so that his love life won't suck for the next few decades. He needs a sex teacher.
    Oh... and the neighbour happens to be Draco freaking Malfoy.
    And I might be a little tiny bit in love with the git...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,914
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    120
    Kudos:
    285
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    8944
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Harry and Hermione were muggle born raised, going into the Wizardry World was a huge shock for both. But it was a good thing they wern't the only ones Clueless, but Harry has to admit he can't make his years fun without slipping a some Muggle reference. To bad he didn't realize in the Wizardry World takes everything serious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,316
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    206
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    4291
  18. Tags
    Summary

    How To Be A Malfoy (by Draco Malfoy, cont.):

    1. Malfoys are never desperate.

    2. Malfoys aren't friends with Hufflepuffs.

    3. Malfoys know that they are the most important ones in the room, always.

    4. Malfoys don't pine, and they especially don't pine after blood traitors.

    5. In the case of Essa Sterling, this list has been declared null.

    Or: it's Fifth Year, and Draco thinks that he must be going insane because there is no other plausible explanation for how he's been acting lately.

    Book One here!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,213
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    729
  19. Tags
    Summary

    After six months of living together, it's finally time for Draco to accompany Harry on his weekly grocery shopping trip. Draco is fascinated by Tesco, and even more fascinated by the Muggle products. Harry realizes that this grocery trip is going to take much more effort than usual.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,176
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    190
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1845
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “And in that moment, Draco knows. He knows that all his deep-rooted suspicions about Harry’s childhood are terribly, horribly true.”

    As their relationship grows, so do Draco’s misgivings about Harry’s past.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,610
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    1815
    Bookmarks:
    330
    Hits:
    17051

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