Dopheld Mitaka Knows Everything
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General Hux tries to search for “kyber” on the holonet but it is mistyped as “kylux”. He is scarred for life and determined to destroy the strange planet of Tumblr that has produced such atrocities. He finds an unlikely ally in Rey, who isn’t too happy to find out about Reylo either. (She only just moved in with Rose.) Rose is reluctant to promote censorship despite her concerns for her girlfriend, but when Hux introduces her to “Roux/GingerRose” she is out for blood.
But others concerned about the fate of their own blogs and entertainment convince them to leave the site mostly intact but ban “adult content”. The journey to another galaxy far away to announce their demands and enforce them is a struggle, but after all Hux has planet-destroying weaponry and Rey has a lightsaber and Force-choking powers. Rose has attitude and a taser. The odd, backward planet of “Earth” shall bow to the combined might of the First Order and the Resistance.
Gratuitous social and political commentary, inspired by the Great Tumblr Purge of 2018.
Because “female-presenting nipples” sounds exactly like something Hux would say with a sneer.