1 - 20 of 304 Works in Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Before all this end of the world fuckery, and not that long after the Angel of Thursday soared in on awesome black wings, Dean had been so fucking grateful at realising he had his first real friend, that his lusting over dark hair and the bluest of all baby-blues had just been an inconvenient itch, one he'd simply decided not to scratch. So, a mostly closeted but wholly bisexual Dean ignored the whole damn thing like a seasoned Winner.

    But that shit just wouldn't go away.

    Instead, it grew... until it became more than just lust. Until the hardy weed was a constant ache of want growing in his gut; a burning bush, that Cas had smote with his storm-blue light. And those flames caught and licked into Dean's every thought and move.

    Dean knew he had to stop it. Needed to pull all the weapons he owned on its ass, take it down to the boneyard, battered and bound, then kill it dead fucking dead. Bury the corpse, salt and goddamn burn it and leave the charcoal-grey ashes to disintegrate into the dirt and the nothingness. Leaving only a burned-out hole; the one that now lived in his chest. Why? Because Dean didn't know what to do with such emotion—and he sure as sin didn't deserve a return on it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,267
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    304
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Dean can't think about Chuck back on his bullshit, writing his own timeline of their lives without their input. He can't think about Cas, his angel ignoring their calls and following through with his promise to 'move on'. Can't think about the end.

    What he can do is eat. So he does. And he won't let anyone stop him, especially Sam.

    But there's only so much he can stuff down. What happens when there's no more room, and he has to deal with what's left? Will he be strong enough?

    Coda to 15x05 "Proverbs 17:3"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,508
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    452
  3. Tags
    Summary

    A sequel to my previous work "I Missed You" I would recommend reading that one, but you probably can read this one without reading that.

    "Cas was an amazing hunter, and that wasn't the problem. The problem was he was so all around perfect and Dean was…. Dean was Dean."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,306
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    75
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Dean Winchester works hard to be a good big brother, to not disappoint his friends, and to hide his deeply submissive side from the world. Which is working out sort of okay for him, until Benny pieces the whole thing together and drags Dean to a BDSM event in the city. While there, Dean runs into a ghost that's been haunting him for years, but also a ridiculously gorgeous angel who swoops in to save the day. The only problem: with all his freaking out, he forgot to get the guy's number.

    Things pretty much go the route of a Destiel BDSM love story from there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    92,448
    Chapters:
    28/?
    Comments:
    508
    Kudos:
    792
    Bookmarks:
    158
    Hits:
    20713
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When Sam dies in a tragic accident, Dean’s life is thrown into the roller coaster of unseen turn of events. He is left with Sam’s daughter, Elizabeth, who is deaf, and he has to try to raise her without screwing everything up like he inevitably always does. It’s especially hard to do when you’re running away from your past.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    77,672
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    314
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    3898
  6. Tags
    Summary

    “I want to go home.” Dean let out, in a strangled voice.

    “Of course -” Cas reached for Dean’s hand, prepared to fly them away.

    Dean pulled away his hand, and rested his head backwards, against the seat. It seemed like impossibly long before he finally asked. Unsure, as if somehow he still felt as though Castiel would deny him, anything, ever.

    “Could you drive?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,683
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    236
  7. Tags
    Summary

    With Mary dead and Jack missing, Castiel goes in search of God. But what Chuck claims will help instead tears Castiel apart, leaving him feeling more broken and useless than ever. As he tries to put the pieces of himself back together with help from Sam and Dean, he comes to realize that memory is a double-edged sword, and blessings can look and act a lot like curses. Reclaiming all of his lost pieces is going to take more than courage. It will force him to admit truths he’s avoided for far too long, and ask for the one thing he’s certain he can’t have.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,933
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    1153
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Dean grabs onto the slab tighter, because his knees feels weak. He needed to get a hold on himself. His head reels, but it isn't like he can stop thinking. One painful thought shoved the last out of the way, and each stream of scenes seemed to take him farther away from the present.

    Cas had walked out.

    Dean couldn't get him back and pull him home. Not if he wasn't being dragged away in the first place. And that's the crux, isn't it? Some part of him sneers at him. He wasn't being taken away. He had decided to leave.

    Dean Winchester had always screwed things up, messed up his life, and almost broke the world a couple of times - but Castiel had never left.

    He'd always been there. He'd lifted him from his road to corruption. He'd threatened to stay when Dean had the Mark of Cain. He'd refused to let go till the demon in him had been controlled. He'd always walked right beside him, when they fought for Good, for Family, for the World, and for each other.

    And now, he was gone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,725
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    269
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Dean is being chased by fires. Everywhere they live, there's a fire, and it's always connected to him. Dean does what he has to provide for his family, and John keeps them on the move. But when Sam goes away to Stanford, Dean's left alone to run from the fires in the van he's outfitted to live in. It's only when he stops running and goes to college in San Francisco that he finds what he needs. And what he needs is the support of a dorky TA named Castiel, who gives him a reason to stay put. What happens when the fire catches up?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,871
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    1159
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Niolam, Papua New Guinea:

    A brilliant young archaeologist, his troubled brother and an energetic speleologist set out to explore a mysterious cave. What will happen when they stumble upon something that should have never been discovered?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,975
    Chapters:
    3/20
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    152
  11. Tags
    Summary

    "God helps whoever dares cross your way, Winchester..." 

    Dean has the rest of his life to do whatever the hell he wants and he's spending it on life regrets. Years of military duty has left him hollow; there's no way he'll ever dump his unstable self on his family's doorstep, no matter how much they say they wouldn't mind it.

    Of course, he never expect a teenager to be the one to fix him. She probably has just as much issues as he does, but Krissy gives him the one thing he never even think of: normalcy. His new friends consisted of two rebellious lesbians and a paranoid dog, and he wouldn't ask for anything else.

    As a cherry on the top, a certain angel is still willing to pick up his broken pieces.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,692
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1567
  12. Tags
    Summary

    He was moving slowly – poor fucker, could probably barely keep his eyes open – and his clothes were wrinkled – he’d probably been sleeping in them – and his hair was… fine? Sam supposed? It was disheveled, but not in a sexy way – very much in a way that screamed ‘I’m working myself to the bone and I need someone to rein me in’.

    or

    In which Sam has an issue with himself, and Dean is very confused, and there are a couple of angels maybe manipulating them a little bit from the sidelines for their benefit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,940
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    395
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Dean got hurt on a hunt. Sam comes to see him in the hospital and is upset that Dean seems to think hunting and killing things is what makes him a real man/hunter. It's implied Dean's real proud of it because that's what John made him believe.
    Also Dean was a good parent to Sam.

    I hope at least some of this makes sense guys, my brain is kind of fucked up right now. If anybody has any questions please ask and I will try to make sense.

    Can be read as platonic brotherly love, or incesty brotherly love. Whatever you want.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    858
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    127
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Surfing the internet, Cas discovers a little thing called Kinktober and decides to convince Dean to play along. Who is Dean to say no to anything Cas wants? Unless of course, Cas wants to talk about these things in front of Sam. Because, no, that would not be cool.

    Check the chapter titles and beginning notes of each chapter for the kinks contained within that particular chapter and any applicable warnings. Tags will be updated as I go since this is not entirely written yet and I'm not 100% where the boys will want to take this. If you think I've missed a tag, please please please please tell me so I can fix it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    83,777
    Chapters:
    19/32
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    349
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    13363
  15. Tags
    Summary

    They have the sex for the first time. It's beautiful, and kind of gross. Brief relationship negotiation. Basically they're in love. I just have to make them admit and accept it.

    *I always like to imagine them as underage but I am not saying it outright so Sam can be 18 if you want. I thought of him as like 14 though.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,455
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    118
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Dean dies and gets sent back to hell. There he comes across familiar faces that might just drive him mad and on top of that more people have taken an interest in him.
    Can his friends and family save him or will he end up giving them the answer they want.

    Takes place around season 5, so Sam hasn't been to hell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,093
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    411
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It's 1995 and the Winchester boys are staying in another shitty little town while their dad hunts down a pesky Shapeshifter.

    When things take a turn for the worst, it's up to Dean to protect Sammy.

    What else is new?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,276
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    410
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Geologist!Cas, Musician!Dean and an opportune moment for love.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,359
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    308
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The consequences of "Cas Novak has some regrets"

     

    Dean isn't sure what's worse; being accused of nearly beating Cas to death, or knowing his mate is seriously injured and he's locked up.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,860
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    975
  20. Tags
    Summary

    There's just this... thing between them, you know?

    Breath softly huffs from Sam's smile-flared nostrils.

    They're in love. Simple as that.

    - who dares to love forever?

    when love must die -

    The lyrics echo back to Sam and he suddenly gets it, like the bullet he once took to his gut in a wood cabin in Wallowa-Whitman National Forest.

    Dean is scared that if he allows himself to be happy, he'll lose Cas.

    And sure, okay, so then there's the whole Dean being so far in the closet he's in freaking Narnia issue which Sam has always solely attributed to Dean's decision to hold back… but Sam knows his brother. And therefore now knows inherently that it must be this--Dean's abject fear of losing Cas altogether--that's really holding him back.

     
    OR

     

    The one where Sam is done with a capital D.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,367
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    609

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