1 - 20 of 310 Works in Crowley is Bad at Being a Demon (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley has to deliver some paperwork needing signatures to the literal devil.

    He's got some thoughts about the whole thing. Hell, mostly, and demonics.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    500
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    41
  2. Tags
    Summary

    As if the thought summoned him, Dr Crowley appeared at the student's elbow...

    One-shot

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    666
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    345
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1073
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley starts seeing his angel form in the mirror. It starts as a walk-by glance and suddenly disappears. He doesn't know what to do with it, all of those memories were taken away, but they come back to him in pieces, digging up all sorts of things.

    Then God appears to him of all people. She says that she forgives him, that she had forgiven him long ago, and that she never stopped loving him. She says that he and Aziraphale are to be the protectors of Earth as they have been for her so far.

    Everything hurts, and nothing makes sense- so just another new millennia really.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,112
    Chapters:
    27/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    361
    Kudos:
    1206
    Bookmarks:
    237
    Hits:
    19142
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “Think of me as a sort of… guardian demon.”

    “PFFFFTTT-HA!” Jessica did an actual spit-take and burst into laughter, first at Crowley, then at herself, shaking her head in disbelief. “Guardian demon! Leave it to me to have guardian demon! Did the angels just give up, or…?”

    “Jessica Jones, I can think of only one angel who might be qualified to be your celestial guardian,” the demon teased, “but he currently has his hands full shooing customers away from his bookshop. Face it, I’m the only being, celestial or infernal, who is not only capable but also willing and intrigued enough to put up with your bullshit.”

    “Fair enough,” Jessica smiled.

     ***

    Or, what happens when Crowley shows up after Jessica accidentally kills her third victim? Whether from Heaven or Hell, Jessica Jones could use all the help she can get. Disposing of a body is a bonding activity, right? Starts at the very beginning of S2 Ep11 AKA - Three Lives and Counting.

    EDIT: I changed the summary because the meat of this fic happens in Ch. 2, and while there are pockets of darkness throughout, the heart of this story is Jessica and Crowley.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,249
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    346
  5. Tags
    Summary

    my SFW piece for "Cold Omens" zine. In Golgotha, 33AD, Jesus is up on the Cross, while angel and demon look on. Crowley is angry at God, angry at the Archangels, and even angry at Aziraphale for letting it happen. Aziraphale knows more than he is allowed to let on, but asks Crowley for her trust. He has something amazing to show her.

    Not tagged for MCD, although yes Jesus does obviously die as we know. But we also know he's resurrected. I honestly did more bible study for this fic than I've done since R.E lessons at school decades ago! It was a tricky subject to handle sensitively, and I did get a sensitivity beta reader to help ensure I got the balance right. I hope I struck the right balance of respect for the subject. There were some conflicting details in different scriptures, so I selected a sequence of events which fit with the consensus.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,984
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    129
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Crawly's first temptation was an accident.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,296
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    46
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of random stories where Crowley has chosen to adopt a non-binary child named Alex.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,707
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    183
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley helped build Alpha Centauri, but who was the other angel who helped? I mean, it is an odd phrasing, 'I helped build that one', isn't it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,969
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    556
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley wanted to make one thing perfectly clear. He did not like Aziraphale. Not one bit, not at all.

    And yet...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,888
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    331
  10. Tags
    Summary

    There are books missing from the library in the Abbey. A crime, Aziraphale suspects, that carries something much more serious underneath. He isn't expecting to deal with a demon summoned to kill him. He isn't expecting to find an ally in the oddest place.

    An ally, and something else.  

    “Okay, so. The thing is,” Crowley starts, shifting again in his spot, “uh, someone wants you dead.”

    Aziraphale blinks. “Pardon?”

    “Didn’t you hear me? Someone wants you dead. As in deceased. As in six-feet-under. As in–”

    “Alright, alright! That’s quite alright, thank you,” Aziraphale chokes out. “I still don’t see–” 

    Crowley heaves a sigh. “Listen, Angel.” He leans forward, elbows pressed against his knees, his hair falling around him like a curtain made of fire. He closes his eyes before continuing. “Truth is, someone summoned me to, er, to kill you, actually.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,003
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    811
    Kudos:
    951
    Bookmarks:
    189
    Hits:
    15278
  11. Tags
    Summary

    entanglednow's Zusammenfassung:

    Die Hölle sendet Crowley eine Belohnung für all seine harte Arbeit, was ihm ein paar kleinere Schwierigkeiten bereitet.

    Series
    Language:
    Deutsch
    Words:
    30
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    16
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Someone wants Aziraphale's quill. This is unthinkable.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    432
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    295
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The apocalypse had been averted and everything was okay, until it wasn't anymore.

    Then Adam got a package and weird things started to happen and then Crowley got a phone call from the Dowling’s. They had fixed everything, what was going on?

    Heaven and Hell were up to something too. Sandalphon was hiding a secret and Ligur was back, but he certainly wasn’t telling the whole story of what had happened to him.

    Aziraphale just hoped this wouldn’t be Armageddon all over again, because it hadn’t been a year. That wasn’t enough.
    And also, because someone was getting dangerously close to figuring out their secret.

    Though in hindsight everyone was probably hiding something.

    There was a war on the horizon again, and if it came to pass, they would lose everything they had just gained.

    Something had happened in the year 1000AD, few remembered or knew about it at all, but the consequences were going to be horrific.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,849
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    425
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Alternate ending to "Shelter from the Storm" where things in the delivery room don't go quite as smooth.

    Aziraphale and Crowley are left to pick up the pieces.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,778
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    166
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Gabriel died many years ago. He went out a hero, fighting a horde of demons. That's a fact. End of story.

    But if that's true, then who did Crowley find locked away in a dungeon in Hell? And who is responsible for putting him there?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,659
    Chapters:
    5/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    82
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    921
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The Demon Crowley tries to tempt Priest Aziraphale with his wiles. And things don't go according to plan....

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,437
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    179
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    3437
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Three years have passed since the world didn't end and Azirpahale and Crowley are sharing a blissful life together. But life is just full of surprises. One stormy afternoon in winter, Aziraphale finds a homeless teenager asleep in his shop who has a whole laundry list of problems. One such problem leads the pair to take her in and help her get back on her feet, but who can say where life will lead them?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    147,139
    Chapters:
    45/45
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    636
    Kudos:
    406
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    10892
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The time has come for Improvement Day, Heaven's decennial work retreat. The angels posted to Earth are relieved of their terrestrial assignments and join middle management in attempting to improve organizational operations right across the board. Typical activities include name games, trust falls, client-facing skill role play, and miracle budget workshops. It's loathed by all the Earth operatives- but particularly by Aziraphale, who always finds himself unable to fit in (no matter how many icebreakers there are).

    This year, an angel no one quite remembers seeing before is on a mission to befriend Aziraphale, but it seems that the odds are against him. He has to contend with a networking-obsessed Gabriel and an unabashedly flirtatious colleague; Michael thinks he might be the next big thing in parsimonious celestial energy handling; and Sandalphon is sure he's seen him somewhere before. Meanwhile, Aziraphale's angry with him for showing up, the gold paint on his cheeks is flaking, losing a contact lens would mean a quick discorporation at the hands of four dozen angels, and isn't this just the story of Crowley's life?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,355
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    314
    Kudos:
    212
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    2246
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "Oh my god," one of the divers whispered, staring through the bathysphere's tiny window at the massive pool of flesh half hidden in the murk. "What is that?"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    142
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    255
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Six Thousand Years of Crowley Being Soft and Taking Care of Kids.

    (And Six Thousand Years of Aziraphale Taking in and Protecting Outcasts.)

    Scene 2: Mesopotamia and Inside the Ark. The first children Crowley saves.

    They cry and plead and pray, like Crawley once did. If he doesn’t save them, who will?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,979
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    176

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