1 - 20 of 201 Works in Crowley is Bad at Being a Demon (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley gets an unusual summoning… and a new pet/minion of chaos.

    Inspired by a meme: Ouija board rugs: it's all fun and games until the Roomba accidentally summons a demon...

    I'm sure you can all see where this is going. Anyhow this was intended as a one off short comedy, but then between me, CynSyn and several other Good Omens fan friends and my other half, we came up with so many more ridiculous shenanigans that Crowley, Aziraphale and Crowley's demonic hellspawn can get up to together that I decided to make this a weekly updated series. I'll add new chapters each Tuesday until I run out of material.

    THERE IS *NO* END POINT TO THIS FIC, IT IS AN *ONGOING SERIES* SO FEEL FREE TO DIP IN!

    They'll be short chapters/vignettes easy to read while waiting for the bus/in your lunch break/before bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,586
    Chapters:
    28/?
    Comments:
    1812
    Kudos:
    741
    Bookmarks:
    141
    Hits:
    11878
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Alternate Universe where Warlock is the Antichrist, and Crowley raises him alone.

    Written for @thetunewillcome 's Summer Omens prompt 'Firefly.'

    This is going to be a very sad AU, with a bittersweet ending. It can be happy ending, if you see it that way

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,477
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Hits:
    29
  3. Tags
    Summary

    In which a lonely bookshop owner, and a lonely sleep paralysis demon fall in love, and try to make it work, in the brief snatches of time they can be together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27
    Chapters:
    3/6
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    197
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Three years have passed since the world didn't end and Azirpahale and Crowley are sharing a blissful life together. But life is just full of surprises. One stormy afternoon in winter, Aziraphale finds a homeless teenager asleep in his shop who has a whole laundry list of problems. One such problem leads the pair to take her in and help her get back on her feet, but who can say where life will lead them?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,571
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    20
    Hits:
    143
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley was just trying to enjoy his retirement with his angel. He certainly didn't expect or ask for the little bald kid reeking with fear and immune to his miracles to come in and muck everything up. He should have just turned and walked away.

    Except, Crowley was never good at leaving well enough alone, and was especially bad at ignoring kids...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,153
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    73
  6. Tags
    Summary

    13th century, Wales. Just another one of Crowley’s failed jobs and another one of Aziraphale’s failed holidays. Although sometimes it’s hard to know what should be considered a failure.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,902
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    111
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Aka, absence makes the bureaucratic religious corporation grow fonder.

    Suddenly, Hell is realizing Crowley did a whole Hell of a lot more than they realized (literally) and Heaven is finding out the hard way that only relying on one field agent was perhaps not the best long term plan. Theoretically, Aziraphale should be easy enough to replace. It’s just that most of their angelic candidates haven't been on Earth since the 50 ADs and can't stop getting discorporated or fleeing back to Heaven within the first five minutes.

    As for Hell... well, they were a lost cause from the start. They need their Field Agent back, before Beelzebub gives up and decides to go on a permanent vacation to Majorca.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,030
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    265
    Kudos:
    406
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    4785
  8. Tags
    Summary

    From a prompt on twitter by Aldrymovdon: "What if someone was trying to summon a demon for sex and Crowley pops up and he's just like "sorry, y'all, I'm married."

    An incubus summoning doesn't go as expected.

    Illustrated, extremely amateurishly, by the author, with apologies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    630
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    235
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1085
  9. Tags
    Summary

    In pre-flooded Mesopotamia, Crawly rescues a drowning child and unwittingly sets off a chain of unexpected events, resulting in him working in Hastur's household. As the world grows more violent and evil each day, filled with demons and Nephilim, the infamous flood draws ever-nearer...only nobody except Noah's family and one very fussy angel are taking any note...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,661
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    50
  10. Tags
    Summary

    a very Good Omens retelling of Beauty and the Beast

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,070
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    169
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1393
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley craved mischief but got tricked by Fate into pining after a soft angel

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    747
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    57
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Their final moments are upon them. They’ve played their final card and Chuck is announcing curtain call. But Dean still has a few seconds left. A few seconds to right the only wrong he’s ever truly regretted.

    So Dean will do the only thing he can do. His one final move in the famous final scene of Chuck’s shitty story. Something that Chuck believed completely unfathomable. Something, that, throughout all the universes, he’d never seen – not once.

    Dean is about to answer a question that Cass should have never even needed to ask.

    And maybe – maybe – one last ditch effort in a world gone mad is enough to turn the tides just enough so they might hear what ‘the exultant sound of a canon booming in the night’ really means.

    OR

    Instead of sending them to Purgatory, Michael traverses all the universes with Dean and Castiel in the hopes of finding one where good prevailed and Chuck was defeated. Along the way Dean and Castiel's relationship is put under strain.

    Will Michael play mediator?

    Will the alternate versions of Dean, Sam and Castiel force them to face their decisions and mend their relationship?

    What ‘the exultant sound of a canon booming in the night’ really mean?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,113
    Chapters:
    24/36
    Comments:
    98
    Kudos:
    267
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    4748
  13. Tags
    Summary

    God realizes that in her great plan, the neutrality that Aziraphale and Crowley have made need an offspring to keep producing peace. One being has been created out of their mutual love and respect for one another. And her name is Zintley.

     

    A fic about Crowley and Aziraphale raising a kid.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,932
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    170
  14. Tags
    Summary

    What would've happened if Aziraphale and Crowley didn't figure out Agnes' last prophecy? And Heaven and Hell actually managed to kill them? And what if God decided that wasn't going to fly? This is the story of tragedy, rebirth, and renewal. There will be redemptions and romance along with a slight bit of heartbreak along with Crowley being an idiot with emotions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,329
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1392
  15. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of the many assumptions that have been made about Crowley. (Hence the title. SFW, I promise)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,402
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    284
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Cats, technology, Biblical misprints, immaculate ball sacs, Leonardo da Vinci, a weekend in Paris, and a thing that happened in Florence. Absolute fluff.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,595
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    158
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    759
  17. Tags
    Summary

    One summer evening, a dreadful thing unable to resume its favourite shape takes refuge in the bookshop.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,821
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    115
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley starts seeing his angel form in the mirror. It starts as a walk-by glance and suddenly disappears. He doesn't know what to do with it, all of those memories were taken away, but they come back to him in pieces, digging up all sorts of things.

    Then God appears to him of all people. She says that she forgives him, that she had forgiven him long ago, and that she never stopped loving him. She says that he and Aziraphale are to be the protectors of Earth as they have been for her so far.

    Everything hurts, and nothing makes sense- so just another new millennia really.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,085
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    257
    Kudos:
    984
    Bookmarks:
    202
    Hits:
    13094
  19. Tags
    Summary

    In this AU fic, Hell thinks the demon Crowley isn’t evil enough to merit the title of demon. As punishment, they turn him mortal, and if he wants his old job back with his powers and immortality, he’s got to seduce and cause the Fall of some angel named Aziraphale, who is serving as a campus chaplain, running a group for queer youth. Crowley thinks the assignment will be easy, until he meets the angel and his students, and discovers the kind of found family that he’s always wanted. There’s just one little problem: Crowley is a terrible danger to them all.

    A work for the Good Omens Mini-Bang
    Art by Smolalienbee
    Fic by HolyCatsAndRabbits (Dannye Chase)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,417
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    187
    Kudos:
    234
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    1476
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When I'm standing in the fire I will look him in the eye, and I will let the devil know that I was brave enough to die, and there's no hell that he can show me that's deeper than my pride!

     

    These and other questions are inside demon's mind, Crowley is quite sure it's prohibited to ask someone these doubts (why?), but the most dangerous one he has in mind, the one who even himself is afraid to formulate, is the one he had since he was born, in that pool full of lava, and it never leaves his mind.
    How does it feel to be loved by God?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,830
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    107

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