1 - 20 of 413 Works in Crowley is Bad at Being a Demon (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The Armageddon Gang meets the newest addition to the celestial family

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,586
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    96
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale is confused when archangel Gabriel knocks on his door with a new, nameless angel with him.

    Crowley finds the situation... odd.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,291
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    598
  3. Tags
    Summary

    'Not Jormungandr then?' Aziraphale sounds faintly disappointed.

    'No. Although I was Quetzalcoatl.'

    'Oh? Do tell, dear boy.'

    An illustrated account of Crowley's snakey adventures through history.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,495
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    210
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Sir Aziraphale the White Knight hears of some suspicious activity near a town, and goes to investigate. What he finds is somewhat of a pleasant surprise. (But honestly, it's Crowley, he shouldn't be in the slightest bit surprised)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,604
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    121
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    363
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The time has come for Improvement Day, Heaven's decennial work retreat. The angels posted to Earth are relieved of their terrestrial assignments and join middle management in attempting to improve organizational operations right across the board. Typical activities include name games, trust falls, client-facing skill role play, and miracle budget workshops. It's loathed by all the Earth operatives- but particularly by Aziraphale, who always finds himself unable to fit in (no matter how many icebreakers there are).
    This year, an angel no one quite remembers seeing before is on a mission to befriend Aziraphale, but it seems that the odds are against him. He has to contend with a networking-obsessed Gabriel and an unabashedly flirtatious colleague; Michael thinks he might be the next big thing in parsimonious celestial energy handling; and Sandalphon is sure he's seen him somewhere before. Meanwhile, Aziraphale's angry with him for showing up, the gold paint on his cheeks is flaking, losing a contact lens would mean a quick discorporation at the hands of four dozen angels, and isn't this just the story of Crowley's life?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    594
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    721
  6. Tags
    Summary

    'Aziraphale, will you please stop trying to look on the bright side! I've got lumbered with a skeleton horse that hates my guts, there is no bloody bright side!'

    Or, Hell have had enough of Crowley's inability to handle Hell Horses and give him something a bit different to ride. It doesn't go well.

    (No Discworld knowledge required.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,164
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    228
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A bit of Math.
    The Ark is to the End of the World as to We can't do anything: Fuck we can. Same math: The Little Ones Die as to The Little Ones Live. Crowley and Aziraphale are putting everything on the line, against the laws of nature, not just for these wee ones, but for themselves. And they are spent. Now, every molecule of TRY is coming forth, every trick, every book, every debt called in. And to accomplish all this, they both, at the end of all things, might have to break their promises to one another.
    Torn Asunder, For Another.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,552
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    66
  8. Tags
    Summary

    In 3004 BC, the Great Flood has arrived and killed countless of the unchosen.

    Crawly, unwilling to stand by and do nothing, manages to save some children, but still has to contend with the dangers of the oceanic levels of water. As days pass, the despair grows, all the while Crawly tries to keep it together for the sake of his charges.

    After all, they didn't deserve this.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    115
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley was supposed to meet with Aziraphale in the park for their date today, but the weather ruined their plans. Plan B was to enjoy their picnic in the back room of the shop. Unfortunately, a very unexpected someone would spoil their backup plan as well.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,868
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    220
  10. Tags
    Summary

    The year was 1999 and a new millennium was soon to come (at least, in the current way of counting years). It wouldn't be the first, nor second, nor third millennium they'd been on Earth —far from it, in fact— but somehow, it felt different. Crowley annoyed Aziraphale into spending New Year's Eve together, but perhaps he had been right into doing so. They were just two more people in the masses, lost to everyone else but themselves.

    ---

     

    They didn’t arrange a time to meet. All they had said was “before midnight”. Still, Aziraphale had hoped the demon would have shown up by then, even with his tendencies of being ‘fashionably late’ to things —though not when it was with Aziraphale; never when it was with Aziraphale—. It was already 11:30 and he was starting to fret. The crowd was already much bigger than he had anticipated and still no sight of the other. He wasn’t sure how Crowley would even get to him, if he even found him among the humans.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,691
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    148
  11. Tags
    Summary

    After everything goes down, the old guard goes to stay with even older friends

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,816
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    219
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    3688
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A domestic afternoon in a cafe after the world didn't end

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    178
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    202
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crawly meet in Egypt not long after The Flood.
    Aziraphale learns how truly good Crawly can be.

    -

    Ambiguity was meant for humans. Angels were never meant to have free will. They stared into each other's eyes, unblinking. Something complicated building up between them, an exquisite but difficult kind of tension. There was a grey area here that Aziraphale didn’t know what to do with. What Crawly did went against Her plan. And yet– and yet. 

    “Gonna smite me, Angel?” Crawly said with affected casualness, betrayed by the way his voice came out raw, little more than a growl low in his throat. “Thwart my wiles? Kill the kids off after all?”

    I wanted to save them, he thought. I wanted to save them, but She told me I couldn’t. She told me I couldn’t so I boarded the Ark, safe and sound, while all of Mesopotamia drowned below my feet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,319
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    142
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    929
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Something happened one Christmas. Something that would change everything.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,404
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    265
  15. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of my first Good Omens fics, written in August 2021. All written in first person following a list of prompts on tumblr as a challenge for myself.
    Written only with my knowledge of the first three episodes and fics which spoiled me the ending --I had also not read the book back then either-- so I may have missed/gotten wrong a few details I hadn't yet been subject to.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,226
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    952
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Wherein Crowley tries to be sneaky, but Aziraphale succeeds at being sneakier.

    **Written for the OLHTS 'Not Very Nice and Anatomically Inaccurate Prophecies' prompt: “Exercise”**

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    600
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    148
  17. Tags
    Summary


    Seven Deadly Sins Highlights, excerpted from the Report of Earthside Agent Crowley (AKA Serpent of Eden)

    • One of my ongoing projects is working on promoting pride among huge numbers of humans. Pride parades, parties, etc. I go to many of the events and encourage the ones I can’t attend. Thousands and thousands of people are now more prideful because of my intervention.
    Podfic of The Seven Deadly Sins of Earthside Agent Crowley by AnonymousDandelion.
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    60
  18. Tags
    Summary

    "No, Crowley," he spat, chest heaving. "It's too late. You were right." He pressed the blade against Crowley's throat with the utmost gentility, smiling wickedly at the small whimper he released, and the angel said, "We are fucked." 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    527
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    203
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley gets an unusual summoning… and a new pet/minion of chaos.

    Inspired by a meme: Ouija board rugs: it's all fun and games until the Roomba accidentally summons a demon...

    I'm sure you can all see where this is going. Anyhow this was intended as a one off short comedy, but then between me, CynSyn and several other Good Omens fan friends and my other half, we came up with so many more ridiculous shenanigans that Crowley, Aziraphale and Crowley's demonic hellspawn can get up to together that I decided to make this a weekly updated series which continued for over a year.

    There won't be any other regular updates, but I'm not discounting the possibility of the odd chapter happening in future if inspiration strikes. For now I'm calling it a completed work. But feel free to keep sending me prompts. You might inspire something more. Thanks for all the love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    112,190
    Chapters:
    60/60
    Comments:
    4377
    Kudos:
    1416
    Bookmarks:
    314
    Hits:
    40351
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Wherein Aziraphale and Crowley go shopping. Crowley wanders off for some mischief, then unexpectedly helps someone along the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    168
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    100

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