1 - 20 of 29 Works in Clint Barton & Wade Wilson

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Peter Parker is a lot of things. He’s a high school student in Brooklyn. He’s a geek who spends his weekends watching Star Wars and reading the latest papers of his favorite physicists. He’s a part-time vigilante. And he’s a recovering ex-Hydra assassin.

    Now none other than Tony Stark is tracking him down. Peter knows he could stay away if he wanted to, but where’s the fun in that?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,425
    Chapters:
    24/24
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    365
    Kudos:
    1590
    Bookmarks:
    229
    Hits:
    20257
  2. Tags
    Summary

    It wasn’t enough to Winifred and George Barnes that their oldest son just scored the perfect job overseas with great pay and benefits, in a beautiful country. Winifred bemoaned his perpetual bachelorhood to every stranger she met on their cruise ship. In an effort to escape her constant nagging, Bucky whips up the prank of a lifetime, with some help from an awkward yet charming stranger.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,777
    Chapters:
    8/9
    Comments:
    161
    Kudos:
    195
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    3404
  3. Tags
    Summary

    relationships take effort.

    not even a mad titan could stop these stubborn idiots from being together.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,626
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    70
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1429
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Six weeks ago, Phil met his crush, Hawkeye the Avenger: this was good.

    When they met, Phil was amnesiac, wearing a stripper's pants, and convinced he was dead and Hawkeye was an angel: this was extremely bad.

    Once Phil got his memories back, he'd thought he'd blown any chance he'd ever had with Clint. But miraculously, Clint gave him a shot: this was amazing.

    Clint wanted Phil to come to Avengers Team Dinner: this was... terrifying.

    All he had to do was impress the Avengers and show Clint that he could fit in with Clint's superhero friends. He could manage that, surely. After all, what could possibly go wrong?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,943
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    663
    Kudos:
    642
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    6296
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Our Father.

    “Matt? Do you go by Matt?”

    Who art in Heaven.

    “I don’t like that. Someone said your middle name is Michael.”

    Hallowed be thy name.

    “I think I’m gonna call you Mike. Hi, Mike.”

    Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.

    “Hey, Mike, I heard you’ve been bad already. You only just got here, Mike. I can’t have you being like that so soon.”

    On earth, as it is in heaven.

    (Matt gets kidnapped right under Wade and Peter's noses. Peter's hurt, so Wade ends up with a slightly different team as he goes out to try to bring him home. They test him in every way possible.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,245
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    147
    Kudos:
    665
    Bookmarks:
    97
    Hits:
    4947
  6. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,187
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    448
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Wade Wilson and Clint Barton take on the Tracksuit Draculas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,021
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    145
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “And of course, we’ll need you to terminate your professional association with Deadpool,” The agent says, and Peter’s head snaps up to look at them, not even pretending to scan the contract in front of him any longer.

     

    “Come again?” Peter asks, making no effort to mask his irritation.

     

    or

    Peter and Wade may lack a respect for/awareness of social niceties, but that doesn't make them less likable to the folks whose opinions actually matter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,504
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    768
    Bookmarks:
    88
    Hits:
    5975
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A series of drabbles based on submissions from textsfromlastnight.com

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,635
    Chapters:
    250/250
    Comments:
    447
    Kudos:
    811
    Bookmarks:
    93
    Hits:
    17758
  10. Tags
    Summary

    — Мужской вечер! — объявил Уэйд. — Я уже заказал три пиццы на твой адрес, и у меня нет денег, так что ты не можешь отвертеться.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    397
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    94
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Aliens happen (again) and Clint ends up in hospital (again). What happens between that and Clint joining the others who’re re-grouping at the New Avengers Facility? The short answer is Deadpool.

    “You’re not rescuing me,” Clint tells him. “I don’t need to be rescued. Nat is coming to pick me up at one. I’m good, thanks.”

    Later he’ll wonder if it was the ‘thanks’ that was his undoing.

    (Happens near the start of ten times as long (to put yourselves back together), but can be read as a standalone post-Infinity War fic.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,969
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1276
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “I have anxiety and get uptight about a lot of stuff. Sometimes I just want Deadpool to tell me to chill the fuck out, shotgun marijuana smoke into my mouth and then eat me out until I can’t think.”

    Peter spills the beans to Foggy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,278
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    149
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    5185
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Wade and Nate are saving the world ... one child at a time.

    A sequel to Honeysuckle.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,102
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    215
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    2116
  14. Tags
    Summary

    In which, well, Peter and Wade make some small, but downright not-smart choices, and bad things happen. But they still love each other . . . and that does count for something. How much of something is entirely up to them. Spideypool with a small side-order of Science Husbands and random Clint Barton. Full prompts in end notes.

    Notes/Warnings: AU, set post Spider-Man: Homecoming and Deadpool by several years. TRIGGER WARNINGS for semi-homophobic language; able-ist language; mental health issues; poor coping mechanisms; and drugging and non-con involving one of the main pairing, but not both. The person who's assaulted talks about the assault in non-graphic terms but this is STRICTLY the aftermath of that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,617
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    224
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    6109
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m here to talk about Spider-Man.”
    Wade became serious right away. “Is he in trouble?”
    Daisy watched the mercenary standing before her closely, suddenly feeling a little bad about what she was about to say. When she decided to pay Deadpool a visit, she wasn’t sure what to expect, but she certainly didn’t think his first reaction would be concern.
    “Yes, you could say that.”
    “You want me to help? I can help. On the house. Just tell me—”
    “Deadpool,” she cut him off while she still felt up to do so. “You got him in it.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,134
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    206
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    5207
  16. Tags
    Summary

    In which Deadpool kidnaps Clint off a battlefield and takes him on a roadtrip. A shooting roadtrip. OK, fine. A shooting people roadtrip. Don't be so cranky about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    764
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Cover art for RsCreighton & SomethingIncorporeal's excellent podfic of Harcourt's wonderful story:

    In which Deadpool kidnaps Clint off a battlefield and takes him on a roadtrip. A shooting roadtrip. OK, fine. A shooting people roadtrip. Don't be so cranky about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    146
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    600
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Or, how Deadpool saves Bucky Barnes with pancakes, humor, and the power of absurdity.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,978
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    91
    Kudos:
    778
    Bookmarks:
    299
    Hits:
    9264
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Wanda just wanted to be helpful and give Clint wings to suit his name. Clint isn't amused, but Wade sure is.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,845
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    111
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1858
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Clint just wanted to find some relief from his nightmares, but he ended up finding something more.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,348
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    94
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1523

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