1 - 20 of 110 Works in Bodily Functions

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    So when life hands you lemons, you make a sandcastle out of poop... a poopcastle. And you sculpt a big one, with turrets and drawbridges, the whole nineteen thousand yards, until you can't even see the sky anymore. Because Life, Fate, the Maker, or whatever I should call the motivating factor behind this trainwreck of my story is a sadistic SOB. If I ever get the opportunity to meet whomever is pulling the twisted strings, I will absolutely shove a handful of my special castle-sand right in their face.

    How you like THOSE lemons, huh?!?

    I sound a little angry don't I? A bit prickly pear with the threats and all? Maybe you're just thinking I'm unhinged.

    Trust me, you would be too if all this was happening to you... What, you don't believe me? You're still unsure? If more convincing is what you need, then read on...

    I'll make a believer out of you yet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    151,453
    Chapters:
    38/?
    Comments:
    537
    Kudos:
    355
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    7257
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Post Series VIII

    They have Red Dwarf back to themselves, but Nano-Rimmer is dead, and Kochanski left to get back to her own universe. And Lister is pregnant again.

     

    Based on this prompt: https://starbuggers.livejournal.com/317.html?thread=180541#t180541 (Post series VIII, Lister is pregnant by Nano-Rimmer who died trying to save everyone. So he's all set for single-parenthood, when Holo!Rimmer returns. Holo!Rimmer, who never knew how Lister felt about him. Things are gonna get awkward.)

    Disclaimer: I own nothing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,004
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    102
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1051
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Mad Max and Wonder Woman crossover fic: Furiosa and the other Citadel survivors are making do the best they can in the their first hundred days in power. Things seem to be going well, so well that tales of their work in building a better Wasteland reach familiar figures from Furiosa's childhood, one she thought was dead, and one she thought was just a myth. Given how much Furiosa has struggled just to survive, she would have thought she would embrace having someone with super powers on her side, but questions like, "Who killed the World," are about to become much more complicated.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,349
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1252
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Arthur discovers that he can only tie with his Soulmate and no one else. Merlin discovers that he has a destiny in Camelot, and that he needs to find and tie with his Soulmate before any other alpha tries to stick their knot in. There's also something going on between Leon and Morgana. Could it really be love, or is there more than meets the eye?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    111,101
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    246
    Kudos:
    971
    Bookmarks:
    232
    Hits:
    18574
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Furiosa has always been terrible at dying. She never planned on living to see the Citadel again, let alone finding herself the defacto ruler. Sure, the girls are helping where they can, but the Citadel just isn't ready for them. Even worse, with her injuries slowing her down, Furiosa's past finally catches up to her.

    Cheedo knows she came back different, but that doesn't mean she knows who this new person is.

    Maybe if Capable buries herself in her new work, she can bury her grief as well.

    Meanwhile, Max resumes his wandering with old and new ghosts in tow.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,092
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    3669
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Negan decides to live up to his title as leader of The Saviors when he finds you at your weakest in the woods. Funny how you were so sure that your life was over until the man with the bat showed up. Now, Negan wants to make you understand just how good your second chance at life could be if you live it in a little black dress. Like trying to put out a blazing fire with a gallon of gasoline, feigning your disinterest becomes more and more difficult with each passing interaction. But he’s more to you than just the brutal community spearhead with a charming smile. And could it be possible that he sees you as much more than just another conquest?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,508
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    744
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Martin isn't happy Jon's in a coma, but he is happy that he gets to care for him.

    A self-indulgent little Martin-centric oneshot concerning coma!Jon. Martin isn't quite Web!Martin, yet (or is he?) but there's certainly a lot (too much) of spider imagery.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,170
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    29
    Hits:
    194
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "...Yeah, I remember stuff– though you’d never guess it when you first take a look at me. I have the look of a man who forgets to wash his own goddamn dick. Something in the eyes, I think..."

    Unbeta'ed Kadokura character study, in the form of diary entries from his perspective. Set pre-canon, when Nopperabou's convicts are still at Abashiri. Also Usami is there... maybe he's been "the new recruit" for 5+ years? Who knows what the timeline is...

    Rated M for heavy swearing, sexuality, and some harrowing, harrowing shit. Read the tags.

    (Adding new chapters as I can.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,083
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    363
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The Devil - well, A devil - maybe and an elder god? some sort of demon at least, needs a grounds keeper after the local township goes after him for not mowing the lawn.

    Big scary dude. Cute Girl. Happily ever after. If you like my work, you pretty much know what you are getting. But! This one has a tractor! (it's 3am, I'll edit the summary in the morning)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,528
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    201
    Kudos:
    196
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    2424
  10. Tags
    Summary

    After the events that take place on the Low Red Dwarf, Lister may be suffering more lasting damage than he’d care to admit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,535
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    132
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Unbeknownst to even their own kind, some werewolves fall prey to an estrus that nearly drives them insane. Peter is one of these unlucky few, but luckily for him he has no qualms about lying with a male to get through it without the fear of pregnancy. Peter is also wrong and Destiny probably should have been more clear when she taught him the things she knew.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    244,429
    Chapters:
    27/?
    Comments:
    237
    Kudos:
    466
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    10779
  12. Tags
    Summary

    When Alec is injured on a mission, he is uncomfortable with the level of help he needs.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,591
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    302
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    3682
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Styles hires a professional dom to wreck him: Part Deux.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,807
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2739
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Fresh week old garbage, hot off the kink meme.

    A disgustingly fetishistic tale of Ocelot suffering through increasingly embarrassing and painful intestinal distress. With guest appearances from other people making things worse.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,080
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    5804
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Rick is totally a parenting expert by the time Alex's second child comes around. Or so he tells Evy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    137
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    132
  16. Tags
    Summary

    His aunt and uncle, by virtue of necessity, had let it be known that Harry was disabled (it was hard to hide an ambulance showing up in the middle of the night, and Harry’s teachers had needed to know anyway) but they had made it very clear: Harry’s condition was disgusting and shameful. Harry was disgusting and shameful.

     

    Or, the one where Harry learns that he doesn't have to go it alone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,194
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1523
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Lactose intolerance is a bitch and a half.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    558
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    246
  18. Tags
    Summary

    When Bucky gets drafted, Steve thinks that war is probably the worst thing men can visit on one another. But war or not, life in Brooklyn must go on, so he takes Bucky’s old job working in a medical clinic for the eccentric Dr. West. It isn’t long after that Steve is robbed of his life and then his humanity. What he’s left with feels less and less like who and what he had been and hoped to be. But through pain, loss, madness, and the bloody tang of war Steve learns that the things that make life worth living can never be taken from him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,308
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    981
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Empress Rey is expecting her first child with Emperor Ren. He makes sure that she stays hydrated enough.

    (This is filthy, so please heed the tags!! :D )

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,610
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    7681
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Looking back on it, Tony tries to understand how he could have been possibly fooled.

    The man doesn’t smell like Steve. He doesn’t walk like Steve, doesn’t talk like Steve.

    He only looks like Steve, and yet everyone, including Tony, believed that he was Steve. For months.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,908
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    426
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    5799

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