Billy trying to survive in general
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Steve tried living like nothing had happened, tried going through the motions and where exactly did that land him? Full of even more questions, more papers signed and more eyes watching his every move. Starcourt is a constant loop behind his closed eyes, chest tight over a death he didn't know how to grieve for but somehow managed to obsess over. It felt cold, living a mirror of his life before it monumentally changed, ice sliding up his spine and frozen fingers digging into his ribs. He could leave, but then he could just disappear.
Billy remembered life before the cell. Remembered how it felt to be warm, sweat curling around the muscles of his chest, glistening and glowing. He remembered the shadow monster but mostly remembered the cold. The ice that gripped his throat, heart clutched in a claw shaped hand. He could push now, branch his thoughts out to a warmer place, a happier place. He could push, but then he could also just appear.