1 - 20 of 174 Works in Bernard Black

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    It took Bernard Black approximately ten seconds to agree to leave Soho and take the job.

    "Hello and go away." He had said into the phone almost instantly. He was doing better than usual, he'd picked up the phone and actually said 'hello' today, Manny was impressed.

    "I am here about you becoming the Defense Agai-" A calm and not at all put out voice explains but is cut off by the man screeching down the phone.

    "One, does it have booze and..secondly does it have customers?" Bernard slurred into the phone, leaning forward towards the desk to put his cigarette out on the ashtray. 

    "Oh I..suppose yes and n-"

    "Okay, I'll do it. Goodbye now!" He answered as quickly as his brain could process that there would be alcohol and no customers. Those were the two goals held above all else and Mr Black maintained the last goal by the skin of his teeth most of the time here. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,015
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    17
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Martin was always interested in the bookish type.'

    Martin worked at a bookshop that tried not to sell anything and frequented a bookshop that sold everything. In between, he worked at a cafe that wasnnothing special. He sometimes got a good deal from Black Books for A Z Fell & Co. Neither proprietor seemed to mind too much. 

    [AU -- coffee shop/book shop, no powers (TMA)]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,593
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    905
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale’s preferred definition of a friend was ‘someone with whom you had certain aims in common and happened to get used to the presence of after a certain amount of time encountering each other’. It was possible that Aziraphale’s idea of friendship owed a lot to his partnersh-, relationsh-, agreementship with Crowley.

    In which Bernard Black is Aziraphale's friend.

    Well, perhaps less of a friend and more of a book group.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,314
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    104
  4. Tags
    Summary

    On the hunt for an out-of-print book, Aziraphale and Crowley come across a certain bookshop.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,136
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    202
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Erik moved the coin: a lot further than Shaw was expecting. And as a result, we wind up with a Notting Hill AU set in the 60s, and a naturalized Erik and Edie, British citizens.

    Mild-mannered Erik. Bespectacled Erik. Erik in a cardigan.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    112,389
    Chapters:
    114/?
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    239
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    11827
  6. Tags
    Summary

    " I sensed a great disturbance in the flat. As though a thousand quid cried out in anguish."

    A Coda (in script form) to the TV show Black Books, set in 2021.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,328
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    84
  7. Tags
    Summary

    For reasons known only to herself, Daria drives off in her Mom’s car, in search of herself. She will meet a variety of characters along the way, who will help her with her journey and she will help them.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,217
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    465
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Sean hates the forgers Ash sends him to. They're always awful and he always ends up going somewhere hazardous.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    977
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    50
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Restingbitchface she was bitching about the bacteria thats allowed to camp on your chin that you optimistically call a beard
    Classymotherfucker BERNARD
    Restingbitchface its true
    Mingthemerciless when they ask how you are and you just have to say that your fine qnd your not really fine but you cant get into it because they would never understand
    Restingbitchface OUT

    Restingbitchface removed Mingthemerciless

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    635
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    64
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Возбудившись от пышных форм покупательницы, Блэйк пытается подрочить. Но что-то пошло не так, и у него ничего не получается. Точнее, не получалось, если бы не Мэнни, который всегда готов прийти на помощь.

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    629
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    72
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Instead of going out, Manny and Bernard try something... new.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,714
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    333
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Bernard meets another lacklustre bookseller, borrows makes some observations, and tells him What's Up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,810
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    217
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Answering the questions we've all been wondering since the show finished:
    How do our trio age together?
    Is there a Black Books wedding in the future?
    Does everyone get a happy ending?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,331
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    494
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Bernard has been gambling again after promising Fran and Manny he wouldn't do it. As usual, he fucks things up, and it's up to Fran to come up with a proper punishment.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,348
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    362
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Based on the opening scene of series 2 episode 3, where Bernard goes out drinking with Fran and Manny tells Bernard not to forget his keys. Even though he's awful to Manny, he still finds himself worrying about the Irishman most of the time - especially when he's been drinking. So much so, that he struggles to sleep that night. But, when he hears the bed creaking, he knows everything's all good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    416
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    328
  16. Tags
    Summary

    After the success of his novel, Bernard Black is invited to be a guest host on a topical news quiz.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    590
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    57
  17. Tags
    Summary

    My fills for this year's Three sentence ficathon.

    Netflix Defenders, Jessica Jones, daemon AU
    Buffyverse, D'Hoffryn & Illyria, how to get people to spell your name right
    Welcome to Night Vale, After seven 'What's New Pussycat's, throw in one 'It's Not Unusual.'
    Black Books/Good Omens, Aziraphale and Bernard
    BtVS, Buffy/Faith, It takes just two people to bring the world / to ruin. So goes the history of love
    Knives Out, Marta and Blanc, at the trial
    Doctor Who / H2G2, TARDIS lands on the Heart of Gold
    Gideon the Ninth, Gideon/Harrow, hide and seek is deadly when you play with necromancers
    Person of Interest, Root/Shaw, Shopping for Bear
    Conny Willis Doomsday Book/Doctor Who (s12); past, present and future walked into a bar (it was tense)
    BtVS, Buffy/Faith, leap year

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,260
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    29
    Hits:
    524
  18. Tags
    Summary

    This cat knows, that if behind a door there is a very much larger than usual number of books, yet a much lesser than usual amount of hurry, and also a rather larger than average supply of tea, cocoa or wine, then if he finds a way through that door, he will be welcome inside.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,378
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    356
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Ever wondered what Bernard would be like if he weren't the proprietor of a dingy bookstore? Well, here's your chance to find out. New scenarios will be added as inspiration strikes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    720
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    444
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale encounters the only bookseller in London with a worse reputation than his. Navigating the difficult path between friendship and a transactional relationship, Aziraphale and Bernard work out whether they have more in common than not. Crowley feels ignored and jealous. Manny is also there.

    Your authors today are: D20Owlbear, Lurlur, Samvelg, and WyvernQuill.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,190
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    205
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    1795

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