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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A Dirk Gently/Umbrella Academy crossfic. Post season-1 UA and Pre-Season 2 DGHDA.

    There was a voice on the telephone.

    It called, and called, and called.

    Ring.

    Ring.

    Ring.

    The man at the other end waits. Luther Hargreeves answers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,285
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    107
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The title is very dramatic but this isn't that dramatic of a fic. Suzie Boreton, rescued from death at the hands of the Mage's goons by the dirtiest woman she's ever seen in her life, faces a question: would she like to go on a road trip with her savior? No, Suzie thinks, but when she opens her mouth, Yes comes out. And so begins the weirdest road trip ever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,639
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    36
  3. Tags
    Summary

    When reality is in danger, a message is spread all over the Universe: The promise of pain that will overcome everyone in the Cosmos. And on the verge of the end of the world, only one man can save us all. His name is Dirk Gently.

    A dysfunctional trio, a powerful pack, a missing girl, highly intelligent children, several people disappeared, a backward clock, loads of ketchup and three words:

    Everything is connected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    110,936
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    882
  4. Tags
    Summary

    All Ken had wanted was one normal day. Was that really that much to ask for? One day where no one got killed and he and Bart could just have some fun for once. He’d even come up with an activity they could try out. Ken had figured that a hobby of sorts would help them relax and take their minds of the mission the universe assigned them.
    Really, what could possibly go wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,883
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    51
  5. Tags
    Summary

    (because the best love songs are written with a broken heart)

    *

    Todd slumps against the door once it's closed behind him. Amanda is never going to believe this. Todd hardly believes it. The idea that Dirk Gently was in his house, wearing his clothes, and Todd spent that time wondering about apricots in honey, it seems so stupid.

    There's a knock on the door and Todd jumps in fright. It's Dirk, looking a bit sheepish. Todd can hardly believe it. "You came back." He says.

    Dirk smiles, for a second. "I forgot one of my bags."

     

    (or the Notting Hill AU where Dirk is a nervous TV star and Todd is an ex/aspiring musician who just spilt coffee all over him)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,496
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    392
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Farah Black is the new girl in Amanda's school, and she's captivating. Everyone has a story about her. Amanda just can't quite figure out why her entire being is so totally aware of her, why her skin prickles when she's around, why Farah looks more real than anyone else she's ever known.

     

    Art by the incredible BloodAmber!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,929
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    149
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It's a long journey before Todd and Dirk realise how they truly feel towards one another. And it takes much more courage than anyone had thought to truly come with one's feelings.
    Todd never thought things could get worse,
    Whilst
    Dirk never had thought he even has a second chance.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,540
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    135
  8. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    858
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    26
    Hits:
    158
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A few scenes from after the show. Featuring: the Rowdy crew in their new grey clothes, emotional honesty, and most importantly, Bart.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,494
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    328
  10. Tags
    Summary

    A Reverse AU.

    Osmund Priest is many things. A teenager, a scared little boy, and a Blackwing subject. But the universe is - quite frankly - a dick, and throws at him the one thing he cannot handle: Dirk Gently and, his detective agency, and The Rowdy 3, from a dimension certainly not his own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,043
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    171
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Amanda doesn't really think too hard about the fact that she can use the wand without learning any spells for it. She just sends her will through it, lets the universe do what it wants through her. So it really shouldn't be that much of a surprise when the universe decides she'd make a really good tool for bringing all the others together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,605
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    157
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of oneshots for Dirk Gently - summaries for each in the beginning notes.
    Chapter 14: Mona tries to subtly hint what she wants, and ends up thrown in the trash.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,160
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    92
    Kudos:
    111
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1095
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk’s having too hard a time seeing, so he closes his eyes. In just a moment he’s going to need to get walking, but right now he takes the moment. He tilts his face up towards the sun and breathes in the air. Slowly, he smiles.

    Then he’s suddenly grabbed by the shoulders and propelled forwards at a rather surprising speed.

    “Hey-“ he opens his eyes but the light’s still far too bright, far too much to see, before it becomes immaterial, as he is shoved in a small compartment and the light disappears.

     

    An AU of how season two might have started, written before season two ACTUALLY started.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,947
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    227
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “This is a bad idea,” Farah says, for the third time. “Not that anyone asked me, which they should’ve, since I’m the only one here thinking clearly. Do you know how weird that is? For me to be the most clearly thinking one? Because it’s weird.”

    “In my defence,” Amanda says, “this totally was not my idea either.”

    “Wasn’t mine either,” Bart says. “Blame the universe. ‘s what I do.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,791
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    109
  15. Tags
    Summary

    FYI this is a one shot that is a WIP I will post what i have unedited so I do not have to redo the tags.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,916
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    89
  16. Tags
    Summary

    What happens when the universe decides that you have overstayed your usefulness?
    There could come a point where a replacement for the Tools is necessary.
    But with the universe broken, it might not all go according to plan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,777
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    217
  17. Tags
    Summary

    reboot 483
    This is the bad place!” cries Dirk, again, and Friedkin just about catapults himself into the sun.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,556
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    6
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Buzzfeed Unsolved AU: Dirk and Todd are paranormal investigators with a relatively popular youtube channel. When they decide to go visit a supposedly haunted house in Todd's hometown (and bring Amanda along with them) things go a bit different than usual.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,552
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    144
  19. Tags
    Summary

    This fanvideo is about difficult relationships beetween BlackWing objects and workers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    41
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Sam and Dean investigate a series of weird murders involving evisceration and fish. However, the murders are just the beginning, and they are not prepared for what accompanies a certain holistic detective.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,183
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    815

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