1 - 20 of 1508 Works in Bad Pick-Up Lines

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "Hey baby boy, you ever notice how we're just like hot-chocolate and marshmallows?" "What?" "Because you're totally hot and I'd love to be on top of you."

    [A 15-chapter collection of continual "oneshots" based on horrible pick-up lines. Each chapter follows in chronological order of the relationship. See chapter titles/summaries and A/N's for more information.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,103
    Chapters:
    11/15
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    412
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    4056
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Aelin uses all sorts of pick up lines on Rowan.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    296
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    49
  3. Tags
    Summary

    After Ketch saved Gabriel from Asmodeus he was messed up. So was Sam after seeing the long lost angel who he believed to be dead. But will Sam be prepared for all the bad pick-up lines?

    Quotes from the story:
    "He helped the other into the bathtub and got his hair wet. As he started to apply shampoo to his hair he noticed how Gabriel looked at him."

    "The archangel knew that most of those lights were offices where no one lived. But he didn't say anything he was just happy and calm. He then leaned against the other and for just a moment time stopped."

    "'I got so scared when I heard your prayer. My father, are you alright?' He cupped Sam's face in his hands."

    "Gabriel put his one hand on the other's cheek and gently brushed it with his thumb. He then kissed him again."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,133
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    629
  4. Tags
    Summary

    When a call to Fred for help is a little odd, even by Weasley standards, does it bode well for Ginny's plans to disrupt the oppressive administration of the school before Christmas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,926
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    8
  5. Tags
    Summary

    ”You WHAT?!“ Aubrey yelled at the brunette

     

    ”You heard me!“ Stacie shouted with a knife in her hand

     

    ”GET OUT!!!“

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,478
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    279
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Jeno’s barista job was pretty uneventful— it paid well and his manager, Ten, was actually quite nice to him. Either way, nothing out of the ordinary ever happened, and Jeno was fine with that, until—

    “Aside from being gorgeous, what do you do for a living?”

    Until a certain Na Jaemin came barging into his life and turned everything upside down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,543
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    526
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Sometimes a bad pick up line can end in something good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    301
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    393
  8. Tags
    Summary

    tumblr ask: can you write fluff #13? love your writing!

    13. “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,460
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1014
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “I don't know how to dance.”

    “You don't know how to dance?” John asked, appalled. “Let me show you, son.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,120
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    25
    Hits:
    221
  10. Tags
    Summary

    After wasting his first semester of college being wasted, Lance decides to buckle down and hit the books and act like a goddamn adult. Join Lance on this strange hot mess of a self-discovery adventure of love, hate, and most importantly: growing the fuck up!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,361
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    2374
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Don't my cheesy pick up lines prove I'm serious?
    Prompt: I write a bad pick up lines on your cup every time I'm your barista.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,097
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    20
    Hits:
    226
  12. Tags
    Summary

    So when life hands you lemons, you make a sandcastle out of poop... a poopcastle. And you sculpt a big one, with turrets and drawbridges, the whole nineteen thousand yards, until you can't even see the sky anymore. Because Life, Fate, the Maker, or whatever I should call the motivating factor behind this trainwreck of my story is a sadistic SOB. If I ever get the opportunity to meet whomever is pulling the twisted strings, I will absolutely shove a handful of my special castle-sand right in their face.

    How you like THOSE lemons, huh?!?

    I sound a little angry don't I? A bit prickly pear with the threats and all? Maybe you're just thinking I'm unhinged.

    Trust me, you would be too if all this was happening to you... What, you don't believe me? You're still unsure? If more convincing is what you need, then read on...

    I'll make a believer out of you yet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    201,464
    Chapters:
    46/?
    Comments:
    752
    Kudos:
    429
    Bookmarks:
    78
    Hits:
    8841
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Everything I wanted to cover in the main series, but couldn't.
    8. Midorima has to bring his sister along to Team Shutoku's flower viewing, and chaos ensues (for him.)
    9. Kagami's parents have invited him and Kuroko to Los Angeles.
    10. Kise was in a music video. Aomine likes it.
    11. Midorima, Takao, Kagami and Kuroko at the movies.
    12. (xxxHolic AU) Imayoshi thinks he deserves payment for constantly saving Hanamiya from demons. Hanamiya doesn't seem to agree.
    13. Wakamatsu is interested in the new shooting guard. Imayoshi is able to use this to his advantage.
    14. Murasakibara didn't show up to practice one day. It's up to Masako to find out where he went, but she won't like the answer.
    15. Akashi heard about something called a "double date," which he wishes to partake in with Midorima. Takao is excited, until he really isn't.
    16. The captains and vice-captains of Seirin and Kaijo are having a meeting, but the vice-captains are distracted. By each other.
    17. Nijimura wrote a memoir, and Kuroko is proofreading it for him. Kagami listens awkwardly as Kuroko recounts the moment Nijimura's life was changed forever.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,521
    Chapters:
    17/18
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    99
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1967
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Crack group chats and relationships, what could possibly go wrong?

     

    (I am still testing the waters...)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,518
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    863
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Kirishima started undressing and changed into pajamas and got his work ready for tomorrow. He tapped his foot and read over the math lesson when music filtered through the walls. It’s happening. ‘I’ll Make A Man Out Of You’ from Mulan grew steadily louder until Kirishima could hear lyrics. He got up turning around his room, trying to locate where it was coming from. Kirishima stopped, facing his far right wall and stepped closer, leaning his ear against the wall. It was louder, the song was coming from the room over. Wait. Kirishima leaned back and checked the wall, it was the one with the Crimson Riot poster, the wall Bakugou’s own sat behind. No.. Kirishima pressed his face to the wall and the sound of something hitting a punching bag was heard in time to the beat. Kirishima covered his mouth when he heard aggressive quiet singing in perfect sync to the song. Kirshima fell back. “Holy shit.” He grinned. Oh this is going to be fun.

    Where Disney music is played throughout U.A. And nobody knows where or who it’s coming from until Kirishima stumbles upon the culprit and decides to expose them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,079
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    678
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The gang are pilling up as many shenanigans as they can. Pranks,games,jokes you name it, they got it. Life can be dull without a bit of fun in the mix.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,319
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    360
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Alec has military themed pick up lines... they aren't that great to use on Magnus. Also he has innuendos that Magnus misses.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    264
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    469
  18. Tags
    Summary

    You and Jean are rivals. Everyone knows that you hate each other’s guts. After humiliating Jean in front of everyone, he figured out a way to make you freeze in your spot. But hey, you’re a quick learner and was soon beating Jean in his own game. Problem is you both enjoy it a little too much.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,470
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    122
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Getting invited to a conference has it's perks, even if you're technically invited as a plus-one to the annoyingly persistent head of a department. How often do you get the chance to rub elbows with the corporate elites?

    The free drinks are only the second best part of the night.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,626
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    108
  20. Tags
    Summary

    'We Fett clones were great soldiers. No one could or would ever try to argue with that. We were engineered, conditioned and trained to be versatile and skilled on the field of battle. In war, we knew what we were doing and so we were mature, confident, and serious. Then there was our spare time...'

    Commander Wolffe's hobby was recording stories from the people he encountered during the Clone Wars. Some stories were nostalgia about the strange upbringing of clones on Kamino, some were adventures recounted by soldiers or Jedi, some were just etiological. And since the tone of the war was tragic, Wolffe insisted that all of the stories had to be funny.

    Each chapter is three little stories.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    306,791
    Chapters:
    74/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    215
    Kudos:
    245
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    10452

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