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  1. Tags
    Summary

    There are just some things you shouldn’t do as a joke. One of those things is writing to the prince of Prospit a passionate letter about everything you hate about him and how you would do a better job at ruling than his family ever could. You can’t write that and NOT expect something in return, can you, Hal?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,576
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    183
  2. Tags
    Summary

    It’s the middle of the night, and Dirk has gotten himself into a total mess. His habit of seeking out vampire sex has finally bitten him in the neck. Now his roommate, Hal, has to deal with his crap. He definitely doesn't want to be doing this. Not a bit. He doesn't even like Dirk.

    This fic is currently on hiatus while I focus on finishing other ones.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,360
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    173
    Kudos:
    160
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2384
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Letters from the Temptations series. Not intended to be read stand-alone, use the links within the main fics instead.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,600
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    35
  4. Tags
    Summary

    It’s the middle of the night, and Dirk has gotten himself into a total mess. His habit of seeking out vampire sex has finally bitten him in the neck. Now Hal is trying to save his life. Dirk doesn't really want to be saved, and especially not from his wiseass roommate who hates his guts.

    This fic is currently on hiatus while I focus on finishing other ones.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    97,992
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1667
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When Dirk decided to give his AR a body, he thought he would have a great in-home doctor alongside some sort of company.
    The only problem is that Robots are not medical professionals, and Hal has a strange fascination with the complete and utter control he has over Dirk when he's got his fingers in the boys ass.

    Among other things,

    Alternate title; I, Robot, the porn re-run.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,319
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    159
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2571
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk wants to ask John out but he walks into his house to see him playing piano. Their dorkjinks ensue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,065
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    22
    Hits:
    103
  7. Tags
    Summary

    The thing about the Multiverse Theory is that it leaves a spacious seat for Murphy’s Law to sit its ass down and completely wreck everyone’s individual shits. So when Dave and Dirk find a webcomic called Homestuck, the least surprising thing that occurs is their lives taking an instant downward spiral. All Dave wanted to do was draw his subjectively amazing comic and survive at the bare minimum, but really, who can blame him for anything that happens afterward.
    OR
    In which the main protagonist discovers a comic about himself and righteously flips the fuck out causing a chain of events that leads to the end of the universe as we know it, meeting some zany characters along the way and playing a game with his friends.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    69,688
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    643
  8. Tags
    Summary

    I saw an ASMR video based on the movie "Her" and I thought- What if instead of Scarlett Johansson it was Lil Hal??

    Basically, in a no-game normal Earth AU, Jake English gets a new AI and it assumes the form of Lil Hal.

    EDIT: I probably won't be making more chapters of this unless enough people want more. Comment or Kudos if you do!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,246
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    51
  9. Tags
    Summary

    With eyes narrowed and head slanted an inch too far, he tells you that maybe, at times, you should turn and look the other way.
     

    (Or; Dirk inevitably gets fucked (up) by both everything, and nothing at the same time.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,497
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    520
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk's life is tough. He spends most of his time desperately worried about his friends' lives, trying to protect them in any way he can, and usually failing in the attempt. As a packless Alpha alone in the middle of a post-apocalyptic future, he's had to learn to deal with his useless instincts and his potentially fatal ruts. It isn't easy, especially not when there's a smugly superior version of himself who doesn't have to deal hormones at all, just a text message away.

    One day, he is going to meet his friends in person, and come hell or high water, they're going to be pack.

    That day can't come soon enough, in Dirk's opinion.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,087
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    99
    Kudos:
    157
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    2637
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk just wanted to get through high school, not be hunted down by an evil organisation but apparently he doesn't get a say in the matter, also why won't this ghost leave him alone and what is he hiding? Hopefully all the shit he's going through doesn't affect his social life and grades.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,937
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    682
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Alrighty people, you should be used to the drill at this point, we’re nearly done with our HOMESTUCK TROLL UNITS line. Unless you’re a new customer, in which case, congrats on ordering your first in our amazing series of UNITS based around the beloved and zany characters from WHAT PUMPKIN, the big gourd behind projects such as HOMESTUCK and its various video games. Now, this is a character who’s both loved and loathed, for good reasons, but we’re none the less excited to give a wild applause to GAMZEE MAKARA, BARD OF RAGE and local juggalo. We have a helluva lot of WARNING signs plastered over this manual, so we HEAVILY ENCOURAGE you to give this a thorough read through, even more so than in VRISKA SERKET’S manual. But we’re still confident that under all that MURDER CLOWN, he’s still that lovable goofball he once was before hardcore sopor, SGRUB trauma, and manipulations from a world ending demon. It’ll take your care and friendship to help him through it all.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,802
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    27
  13. Tags
    Summary

    There aren’t nearly enough arranged marriage fics for my taste :pensive:
    As preventative measures to keep the rival kingdoms from tearing each other apart, the king of Derse proposes a marriage between the eldest children of the royal families- that being his firstborn son, Dirk Strider, and the ever-traveling and ever-elusive Jake English.
    Dirk doesn’t believe that this will end well, knowing his father’s intentions to manipulate his future son-in-law to hand over the throne of Prospit and planning a rebellion of his own.
    Jake doesn’t care much, honestly just curious about the gardens and architecture of Derse. And if he’s horribly intimidated and wary of the Dersites, well, he just won’t show it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,917
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    179
  14. Tags
    Summary

    ask striders questions

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    98
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    38
  15. Tags
    Summary

    See, Dirk wasn't the most stable person out there. He definitely had issues with his own self care and desires, upon having to live in solitude over a large body of water for several years without even seeing hide nor hair of his guardian. One might say he had… pent up frustrations, never being touched by another human being ever.

    And to solve that problem was no feat for one Dirk Strider. He didn't have the heart to do anything to dear Squarewave and Sawtooth, much less Hal, his A.I. In a way, he resents the guy.

    What he did instead, was build a robot with its whole purpose being to satisfy him.

    Meet: Lil Golly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,179
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    574
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Strider: Present.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,319
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1228
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Tu lo amas y lo odias.
    Quieres tenerlo solo para ti.
    Todo lo haces por su bien, aunque no se percate de ello.
    Tu lo amas.
    y nadie los volverá a separar....

    Te vas a asegurar de ello.

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    4,188
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    127
  18. Tags
    Summary

    You ever feel like pissing on your dead uncle's grave cause you'll never be him, despite being a clone of him, like your father wanted?

    Shoutout to @ TransWheatley for giving me permission to write a fic for this au they came up with. Please, please for the love of all things holy read the tags. In chapter two. Sections will have their own TW just to keep y'all safe because..it gets pretty dark.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,972
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    89
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Six years ago, D Strider went missing. Since then, Dirk has spent every free moment looking for D.
    And now, almost to the day, Dave goes missing too. The investigators say he's dead, but Dirk won't believe that for a minute. Maybe that's his downfall.

    Prequel to Reunion of the Damned

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,465
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    172
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When you go into the kitchen, you expect a normal Dad Interaction. What you get are newfound siblings, missing friends, and a changed worldview.

    Updates bi-weekly.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,380
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    86

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