1 - 20 of 28 Works in Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Jake English

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    When Jake breaks his arm in the middle of the apocalypse - his good shooting arm - he is rendered useless among his friends. Doomed to sit it out inside an empty research facility, he only has an ill-tempered, solar-powered AI to talk to.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,484
    Chapters:
    4/9
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    254
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat and his brother Kankri moved to a new town for a new start. Kankri quickly find a peaceful job at the local library but keeps getting harassed by a tall stranger in weird pointy shades. Karkat reconnects with his old friend Sollux and finds out that he is also a cop at the police station he is getting transferred to. Rose just wants to run her coffee shop and come home to her beautiful wife. Dave is a local DJ that got bored and decided to mess with some small and cute police officer who seemed way too tense for his own good, And Dirk struggles with human emotions when he suddenly falls hard for the new librarian.
    All while Brodrick struggles with being a good parent. Add the Mafia with Calliborn and we got ourselves an A class Story plot!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,155
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    183
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Jake attempts to kill the wrong Strider twin. Hal finds that fending off assassins is a lot sexier than college.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,698
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    95
  4. Tags
    Summary

    You and Hal share many things, part and parcel of being twins. Of course, sharing Jake wasn't what you'd planned on, but turning up another chance at that piece of ass? You'd have to be an absolute idiot to give that up, no matter the strings attached, and your triple degree (with honors) proves that you are definitely not that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,130
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    319
  5. Tags
    Summary

    In which things go a little worse for Dirk, and he turns out worse as a result.

    (Or, to get pretentious for a moment: this is a story about the horror of being known, of being flawed, of being a human among humans, and the conflicting urges to run from that and to revel in it. It's about solitude, and what it does to you (or rather, the aestheticization thereof)—which is to say, ultimately, about me.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,786
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    172
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The troublesome twin princes- Dirk and Hal Strider- call servant Jake English up to their private quarters and play with him a bit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,428
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    726
  7. Tags
    Summary

    But they're wrong, and you're right. This isn't going to work. None of this is going to work.

     

    You've already tried everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    640
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    39
    Hits:
    336
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “You know,” you say, when the drink warms your throat enough, “you know he’ll be cheesed as all-get-out.”

    “I know.” Dirk lifts hair from the body’s nape and plugs some wires he stripped off the shades. “I’m mad at myself all the time.”

    Then he does this funny thing, like a kiss, to the artificial skin just under the wire, at the base of the spine. You can see his breath: it mists and crackles like a fucking wisp.

    The AR opens his eyes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,204
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    453
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Jake spends an afternoon exploring his and Dirk's new deserted island home and learns it's not so deserted. Maybe the voice in the jungle is friendly!

    (It's friendly alright. Very friendly.)

    Prequel to Warm Hellmurder Welcomes but read it second, okay?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,650
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    132
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    4288
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Hal, Dirk, and Jake muddle through finding a dynamic that works for all of them

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,171
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    831
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Jake finds himself as a page boy for the King of Derse where he completely makes a fool of himself. His is trying to get back to his family but has grown a liking to the family. However, unexpected things are happening the people and world around him and he can't figure out how or why. He doesn't realize that he has become a root of so many problems until he gets mixed into the wrong business of everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,203
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    131
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Welcome to Skaia High's wonderful theater program!
    It may not be the most popular or well funded program at Skaia, but we work hard and create amazing plays and special effects.
    When it comes to joining the theater program, we highly encourage you to try your hand at the Skaia Actors Guild! There you will learn to improv lines and entire scenes as well as memorize and develop ones you've already read. It's a fun environment filled with humor and entertainment. Props are provided, and costumes are made suited for the actors or actresses in mind.
    If acting isn't quite your style, feel free to join the Stage Crew. There you will tamper with lights and sound. You can take pride in sending the whole project in motion!
    Join today!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,641
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Hits:
    220
  13. Tags
    Summary

    In which Dirk and Hal's imaginations run away from them, and what could have been several potential stabbings are only just averted.

    (Note: No real robots were harmed in the making.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    648
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Caliborn said: [...]or alternatively JakeHal with 36 or 3

    "I wish I could hate you."
    ---
    unknown jakehal kismesissitude leads into flushed crushes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,697
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    25
    Hits:
    308
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Autoresponder and you are finally going to make your move.

    And you are damn sure it is going to go badly, but, fuck, you gotta take a chance some time. It was not like Jake was going to come to you on his own accord, why would he? You were just a computer program of a real dude who totally also has the hots for this jungle babe. There is one big difference between you and Dirk, though.

    You have nothing left to lose.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,775
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    2312
  16. Tags
    Summary

    This is for a friend of mine-- ask-thisadventurer.tumblr.com -- who was upset when I saw a post talking about a need of fanfics so I asked what ships and the ones were given and I apologize for any ooc ness of Hal or anyone really.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    278
    Chapters:
    1/4
    Kudos:
    20
    Hits:
    445
  17. Tags
    Summary

    All my written fills for the fifth bonus round of the 2014 HSWC. Some of these go into potentially upsetting topics, but relevant warnings for each of the stories are listed in the notes at the beginning of each chapter.

    These prompts took the form of quotes, both real and fake, attributed to real people, fictional sources, or song lyrics.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,795
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1425
  18. Tags
    Summary

    TT: He’s my boyfriend. I understand your emotionally detached software sequencers may have the slightest fuckin’ difficulty processing such concepts, but that’s usually who one goes to for sex.
    TT: If you’re a vanilla shmuck.
    TT: Are you a vanilla shmuck, Dirk? My personal analyzations have concluded otherwise.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,506
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    706
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    8421
  19. Tags
    Summary

    In the vast land of skia, a secret war is brewing. A revolt against the tyrannous and slightly unstable heir of breath by powerful rulers. But as havoc breaks through, a forbidden relationship blooms in the most unexpected way. As the centennial eclipse of derse and prospit approaches, hidden prophecies are unearthed and blood is spilt by the trusted.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,207
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    319
  20. Tags
    Summary

    hollow /ˈhɒloʊ/ adj. without real or significant worth; meaningless

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,909
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    429

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