Author views Canon as well-meaning suggestions at best
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Soulmates are not love at first sight, no the bond needs time and profound interaction between both sides to form. To prevent many from manipulating their soulmate to love who they appear to be and not who they are, the bond doesn't form until one of the intended turns 21. At this age, the younger of the pair enters into the dreaming wherein they re-live and witness the profound interactions they've had with their soulmate; soulmates can only be three years apart in age. In rare instances there have been the formation of Triads, the three intended enter the dreaming when one member turns 21.