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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Just various plot ideas that hit me. That I’ll never go back to. I don’t own anything. Though if anybody wants to write them I would love to read them.

    Please, I would really love some of these done but I just can’t have the time to expand on them. Mostly because I’m not good with multiple chapter works.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,272
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    494
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Amanda thinks about returning to her own dimension right away. It would be easy enough to swipe the wand, get right back in the old Rowdy van, and figure shit out as they went along.

    But somewhere in her gut, her super-omniscient, tapped-into-the-fabric-of-reality gut, she knows that the universe can wait at least a little longer. Fate is fate, right? And hey, when is she ever gonna get to spend time in fricken’ Narnia again?

    With the universe saved (for now), Amanda decides to stay a while in the rebuilt Wendimoor. To study magic, to learn from Francis and Wakti. But it’s just possible that she learns more about the places and people than the magic; one pretty, pink-haired person in particular. Dammit, she can’t resist hot ladies with weapons. She’s only human. Magical and badass, but still just a simple human with a penchant for women who can kick her ass.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,977
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    18
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk wakes up, and finds that he has no longer got hunches. Instead, there is a Blackwing alarm. He finds out that Mona can no longer change shape, and Bart is mysteriously missing. When the Rowdies start causing deaths, they realise they have to find a solution.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,472
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    75
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Todd has been an assassin for years. It was an easy job, especially when he had the universe whispering in his ear telling him which jobs to take and which to turn down. So when Mr. Priest offers him much more than his usual rate to kill a man named Dirk Gently, the universe is there telling Todd to accept the job. However, when Todd looks Dirk in the eyes, something seems off. He can’t pull the trigger.

    Priest then hires Todd to officially work for Blackwing, hoping that he can persuade him into seeing the dangers of leaving Project Icarus alive. But things backfire for Priest when Todd learns that Dirk is actually a very good person, and he might be falling in love with him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,657
    Chapters:
    7/9
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    27
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk’s almost become used to Todd taking Dirk’s hand in his, a twitchy smile on Todd’s face that Dirk knows means that Todd’s fighting off a grin. Dirk’s almost become used to their faux arguing about how Dirk never loads the dishwasher correctly or how Todd can’t figure out how to make a proper cup of tea, fondness always bleeding through their words. Dirk’s almost become used to waking up beside Todd, the sunrise filtering through the curtains and covering Todd in a blanket of light, as though—as though this is how everything should be. As though this is how the universe meant it all to be.

    Dirk wants to be entirely used to it. Dirk wants to be able to expect each and every one of these things for the rest of his life. But, at the very edge of his consciousness, the universe tugs insistent and intrusive in every other direction, a constant reminder of how Dirk will never hold that in his hands. No, it’ll sift right through his fingers like sand, infinitesimal.

    Or: maybe the universe only has as much power as Dirk gives it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,987
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    39
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Dopo aver perso il suo lavoro all’hotel Perriman Grand, Todd lavora vendendo vinili vintage a hipster sottovalutanti, mentre cerca di rimettere in sesto la sua vita. Dirk Gently è una sorta di cliente abituale. Almeno finché Dirk non riuscirà a riparare la sequenza temporale e a restituire a Todd la sua memoria.
    L’AU ambientata in un negozio musicale che non è un’AU ambientata in un negozio musicale.

    Language:
    Italiano
    Words:
    29,784
    Chapters:
    7/20
    Hits:
    20
  7. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,043
    Chapters:
    9/12
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    107
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Two months after their first kiss, Michael finds himself wondering what his and Dirk's unspoken deal is. Also, Todd wants to revive his band.

    [this is a sequel to my previous fic!]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,070
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    17
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Amanda had a list. It wasn't a very big list, written on the back of a receipt from some distant 7-11, that didn't make much sense. It was just a jumbled mess of disconnected words and a few innocuous scribbles that couldn't really be described as pictures - more like symbols. She was going to find everybody on that list, just to stick a middle-finger up at Blackwing.

    But whilst Dirk Gently was a hunter of very benign answers in very bizarre ways that somehow always wound up with everyone in very imminent yet unexpected danger, the Rowdy 3 were different. They were constantly throwing themselves intentionally into very imminent danger, and didn't particularly care whether they got any answers to any questions at all.

    It was with them that Amanda would soon learn there were so many different kinds of hunger beyond her own curiosity. A bunch of different needs mixed up with a load of wily wants. She had been sure she knew all of theirs, shoved into that van day and night, night and day; the feel of them, the taste of them, the sound of them, sometimes even the smell... She was wrong.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    109,755
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    900
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Давайте просто представим, как бы выглядел эпизод из "Две пинты лагера и упаковка чипсов", где Сэм Барнетт сыграл Леонарда, если бы вместо персонажей там оказались Дирк и Тодд.

    Итак, Тодд - обычный неудачник, работающий барменом и жалующийся на свою жизнь сестре. В его жизни давно нет драматических событий и любовных историй, есть только серость, такая же, какой считает он сам себя. Но все ли видят его серостью?

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    4,342
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    5
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Todd wasn't expecting Dirk to kiss him goodbye on the cheek before leaving, especially when he was only trying to say Dirk forgot his jacket. Does this mean they're together now? Or is this just Dirk being Dirk?

    In which kisses are had, and neither polar bears nor Dirk are exactly as they seem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,019
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    255
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of DGHDA ficlets, all based on prompts I've gotten on tumblr (protecticarus, hence the title of this collection). All prompts are found at the beginning of each chapter and all chapters read as individual little stories! Many thanks to everyone who has been prompting, reading and liking these so far!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    77,038
    Chapters:
    60/?
    Comments:
    306
    Kudos:
    346
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    4839
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk surprises his coworkers by bringing in a new recruit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,014
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    65
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Amanda has her boys play.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,167
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    17
    Hits:
    123
  15. Tags
    Summary

    A fraction of the night Martin joins Wendimoor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    484
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    180
  16. Tags
    Summary

    shaving her head starts something, shakes something loose, shakes something up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,111
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    29
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The Agency gets a new case, Todd avoids his feelings, and there is a surprising amount of glow stick fluid,
    old gods, mildly burned objects, and angry teens involved.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,764
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    152
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Amanda spies an opportunity to be clean and the universe spies an opportunity to be, well, That Guy and ruin a perfectly nice time

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,023
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    220
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Trapped and alone once again at Blackwing, Bart’s still waiting for a sign from the universe about where she really belongs. Amanda's strange visions of a woman who needs her help prompt the Rowdy 3 to rescue her from the clutches of their oldest enemy.

    After losing Ken and Panto, Bart’s hesitant to trust any more friends the universe puts in her path. But maybe the punk life is exactly where she belongs. Maybe a holistic witch is just the answer she'd been looking for.

    (Or - how a murderous dirt muppet joined a weird supernatural punk family)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,505
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    158
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Just a funny fan trailer of the TV show.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    30

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