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Ten year later and then five years after, it's still hard. Just because you've surrounded yourself with friends(?), a home, a few plants forced upon you, a comfortable job and a position in a gang doesn't mean you're better. Ace wonders (knows) you take out your anger meant for Him and Him on them, but that's okay. They deserve it too. You don't, however. Everyone tells you that, they tell you that you didn't deserve any of it. You aren't sure of that all the time, you keep your arms close to your body on the subway and you are constantly in a stance that allows you to run at any time. Or fight. It wouldn't be the first time.