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  1. Tags
    Summary

    When the only other employee of her family's run-down pizzeria in Upstate New York quits, struggling small business owner Harrowhark Nona must turn to her childhood rival for help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,257
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    137
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1912
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “The van chugged through the open gate and up the winding driveway that split the land in half. The house loomed above them as the metal contraption came to a stop five feet from the door. As the trio disembarked, Harrow was hit by the realisation that this was really happening. She was really going to work on a farm, with strangers, for over a year. Before she could change her mind, the van was already running as quickly as it could back down the lane. 

    They had officially arrived at Fifth House Farm.“

    OR

    A group of teenagers, turned unlikely friends, learn that healing comes in many forms, and through trials, hardships, love, and friendship they’ll overcome their demons.

    OR

    Three juvenile delinquents are sent to a farm to work. Things quickly get out of hand.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,949
    Chapters:
    16/50
    Comments:
    164
    Kudos:
    297
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    5975
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “There’s something you need to know,” Harrow said to John and Mercymorn. She locked eyes with Gideon, holding her gaze firm.
    White-ringed eyes flicked between them, and a frown flickered on John’s face. “Alright.”

    “Well, it’s interesting that you’ve chosen to tell me about the visa application now,” Harrowhark said, turning to John and Mercymorn, “when Gideon only proposed last weekend.”

    John blinked. He looked between them. “Excuse me?”

    “I’m getting married,” Harrowhark said.

    “To who?” John asked.

    “To my assistant,” said Harrow, ignoring the choking, strangled noise of surprise Gideon made from the door. “To Gideon Nav. We’re engaged.” She paused, then stood. “Aren’t we, Griddle?”

    “No,” Gideon said, because she was the worst. “What the fuck?”

    Or: Harrowhark Nonagesimus is the youngest editor ever to run the Ninth House publishing company. But when Harrow violates the terms of her work visa, her only way to retain her job is to marry a US citizen— and who better than her assistant, Gideon Nav?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,671
    Chapters:
    3/8
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    328
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    2688
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Fandom wank breaks out in the #canaan-house discord chat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    48
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Gideon Nav, werewolf and hottie, is kidnapped by the Blood of Eden vampire coven. Turns out they want a favor. Too bad the smell of her blood makes them all sick.

    Well, not all of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,314
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    199
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1775
  6. Tags
    Summary

    “It’s actually a two-bed apartment. And so I’d actually be sharing because—I don’t know why, actually, I didn’t ask, but anyway it’s really cheap and I really want to try out this independence thing, you know? It wouldn't be a stranger! Actually it’s Harrowhark, you remember Harrowhark? It’s, yeah. It’s Harrowhark.”

    Gideon moves in with her childhood nemesis, Harrow. Totally standard and normal domestic shenanigans ensue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,427
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    185
    Kudos:
    186
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    3009
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It is a truth universally acknowledged, Magnus used to joke, that a single person in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a spouse. What Magnus didn't seem to know, was what to do if that person was an absolute bag of dicks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    69,274
    Chapters:
    9/12
    Comments:
    177
    Kudos:
    168
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    3339
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Harrow stared at the golden eyes, her mind filling with a warm buzz and melodic hum. Her brain was a massive generator, constantly writhing and whining, but those beautiful eyes melted through like lava, reducing her to a drooling, staring moron. The glasses were replaced, and the buzzing cut off.

    Harrow looked over to Cam who was pulling on her stitching, a nervous habit she supposed. “Wow,” was all she could say.

    Cam cocked an eyebrow, the exposed bolt on her neck sparking a bit with the action. “See what we mean? She didn’t even look at you and you were caught by it.”

    “What is she?” Harrow asked, her voice returning to its normal ice.

    Cam seemed to pause at that. “Gideon is just, incredibly powerful.”
    ------
    Harrowhark is a vampire, but that’s never been an issue before. Until a group of humans attacked her, beating her bloody. Now her parents have decided being in the general public isn’t safe, and they’re sending her to a special boarding school for ghouls. Zombies, gorgons, and more inhabit the halls of Canaan High. So does the headmaster’s mysterious and beautiful daughter. So does endless mystery, and dark secrets that should probably stay dead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,747
    Chapters:
    11/13
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    154
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2885
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Half a decade has passed since the wholly ignored Myriadic Year of the Necrolord Prime, the Kindly Prince of Death, and the long civil war of the Empire of the Nine Houses has ended. Peace has come with an iron fist to each of the Houses, and Harrowhark née Nonagesimus has been summoned to the First to formalize the end of the conflict with marriage to Gideon Prima, the first and only daughter of God.

    CW: I intend for this fic to have a generally happy ending, but the night will be extremely bleak before the dawn. I will add tags as they become necessary, but dubcon-at-best will happen between Gideon and Harrowhark, and an explicitly romantic relationship exists between Camilla Hect, Palamedes Sextus, and Dulcinaea Septimus. The brand of slavery that Gideon experiences throughout her childhood is inflicted upon many characters, and forced lyctorization is a significant aspect of the piece.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,779
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    135
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1776
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "Griddle," she said, fixing her expression into one that clearly shot for disdain but landed in an exhausted kind of exasperation, "it means that if we want to get off this planet before we get roped into tea parties and ballroom dancing at the whim of Coronabeth Tridentarius, you and I have no choice but to uncover the identity of the murderer."

    Privately, Gideon could think of worse things than being roped into tea parties and ballroom dancing by the Crown Princess. Sneaking around a house full of cannibals with Harrowhark Nonagesimus was one of them. In fact, it was pretty close to the top of the list.

     

    The annual seven-day royal ball hosted by Coronabeth Tridentarius takes an awkward turn when a dead body shows up in the library. With Ida on lockdown until the murderer can be found, Harrowhark's plans to stay for a single night before getting the hell out and hopefully never setting foot on the Third House again are thrown into disarray, leaving her no choice but to solve the mystery herself. Enter Gideon Nav, Camilla Hect, Palamedes Sextus, and a social world of animaphiliacs that none of them are even remotely equipped to navigate.

    Or, the Murder Mystery AU you never knew you needed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,085
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    184
    Kudos:
    229
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    5064
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A River of Many Tributaries (the online discussion board for communication between the Nine Houses. All thoughts, alive, dead, or dying, are welcome! Don’t stay on too long, though, or you’ll go mad :) Happy thought-sharing!)

    Topic: How does one attain koved rosh (a focused mindset in prayer; a “heavy head”)?
    The Emperor of the Nine Houses invites all the House heirs and cavaliers to share their opinions. The Fifth will moderate.

     

    Or: The heirs and cavaliers of the Nine Houses discuss the meaning of devotion and a focused mindset. Some are more focused on the topic at hand than others.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,508
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    87
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Harrow needs a rare book. Fortunately, Ianthe owns it. Unfortunately, what Ianthe wants in return forces Harrow to make a series of ridiculous trades.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,284
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    327
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Your dreams are the only chance I get to be separate from you, to see you. I... I don't think you remember them in the morning. You don’t seem to remember me at all. You pause, sometimes, but I can never tell what you're thinking or feeling.

    I never realized you had such an imagination, Nonagesimus. Some of them seem like you could have pulled them right out of my comics. (Don’t even try to tell me you haven’t read them, I know you used to go through my stuff. Maybe my soul being tucked in with yours is rubbing off on you too.) Some of them seem like a perfectly regular life in a world that definitely isn’t ours. And others are more familiar, our lives but a little to the left.

    (remember chapters 40-42 of htn? yeah i shoved it in my bag and sprinted into the night. 9 different AUs. one lovely comic. have fun!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,162
    Chapters:
    6/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    197
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    2406
  14. Tags
    Summary

    After a drunken misunderstanding, Harrow contemplates the benefits of admitting her feelings for her best friend who is absolutely, definitely not into her at all.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    575
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The Events of Gideon the Ninth, told from Abigail and Magnus' pov's, full of bonus scenes and domestic bliss.

    Updates on Thursdays!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,103
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    438
  16. Tags
    Summary

    everyone is alive. everyone is on twitter. that's it, that's the plot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,198
    Chapters:
    3/10
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    593
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Ten years ago, the House of the Ninth was destroyed by the Empire's faithful Lyctors, accused of treason. In the war that followed, many became refugees, escaping outside the borders of Russia. Now the Empire is getting more tyrannical than ever, and if they hear rumors about the Reverend Daughter of the Ninth surviving, well... they won't let her escape a second time...

     

    Or, alternatively, "Get in, loser, we're running away to Paris"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,505
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    313
  18. Tags
    Summary

    After Harrow's saltwater confession, Gideon and Harrow struggle to reconcile knowledge with love.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,828
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    84
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1590
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The heirs of the Nine Houses are summoned to Canaan House to attempt to attain Lyctorhood...and to put on a production of Macbeth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,008
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    787
  20. Tags
    Summary

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that a scion in possession of a dying House must be in want of a wife. Preferably one with resources. Harrowhark is a house scion in need of a wife. Gideon Prime has the universe at her fingertips. The only problem is: they absolutely fucking hate each other. No offense.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,818
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Comments:
    226
    Kudos:
    263
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    6424

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