MARRY FUCK KILL
MARRY, FUCK, KILL by sevenfoxes for metonymy
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
08 Apr 2014
"Actually, you know, I get it. Rogers would be an excellent MARRY choice. You know that he'd never leave the toilet seat up, would never drink the last of the milk, and would clean the rain gutters without prompting," Darcy says. She's never really considered Steve as anything other than Captain America who is impossibly unapproachable; weirdly enough, the things she finds intimidating about him as a person oddly work for her in a domestic setting. "Ugh, plus you just KNOW Barton would be the type of fucker that would eat the last oreo and then shove the empty box back into the cupboard."
"So what's your list then, Darcy?" Jane asks, turning back to look at the mold, which has done exactly fuck all in the last half-hour.
"Don't rush me! I need to make an informed, calculated choice."
Darcy looks down at her pad, then back up at Natasha. She purses her lips in thought. "You've fucked Barnes, right? How dexterous is that metal hand?"
The ladies of SHIELD play a mass game of MARRY FUCK KILL, Avengers edition.
Wherein everyone marries Steve, kills Tony, Jane betrays science and Darcy hypothetically turns Thor into a llama.
- Part 1 of MARRY FUCK KILL
the lewis rule by sevenfoxes for metonymy
Fandoms: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
30 Apr 2014
"Jane's cute," Clint says, shoveling yet another sloppy joe into his pie-hole. Darcy has been watching him inhale a disturbing amount of food for the last half-hour. This is why she likes eating lunch with the guys instead of why-yes-I'd-love-some-brussel-sprouts-on-the-side Sharon. They're good for her ego. She may eat like a hippo, but she'll never eat as much as Steve, Clint, or Barnes. "She's totally on my FUCK shortlist."
All of a sudden the crystal clear sky outside cracks with the loudest thunder Darcy has ever heard in her life. The windows rattle. Everyone freezes. Darcy can practically hear everyone's assholes tighten in fear.
Because across the commissary, Thor is looking at their table.
And it ain't raining panties this time. Just righteous, godly anger.
The dudes finally play MARRY FUCK KILL, not-so-Avengers edition. (Because there's like ONE actual female Avenger. Thanks, SHIELD.)
Wherein no one follows the rules, everyone still kills Tony, the Mets suck, (lots of theoretical threesomes?!), and Darcy turns Clint into a hypothetical honey badger.
- Part 2 of MARRY FUCK KILL