Comment on A Dark And Twisted Path

  1. In what timeline are we compare to canon? Is Order 66 happening like in ROTS? How old are Anakin, Ahsoka and Padme? In one if previous chapter Padme said that she's been on galactic politics scene for 13 years - so she would be 27 just like ROTS. That makes Anakin 22 and sorry but I can't believe that at this point in his life he would be Maul's apprentice. He's way too powerful compare to him. In canon Maul lost to Obi-Wan who at the time was padwawan. Canon Padawan Anakin fought like equal with Dooku one of the greatest duelist in Jedi history. It would be much more realistic if instead of Maul was Dooku in your story. Also if timeline is the same for Ahsoka she would be 17/18 like in last season of TCW and at the time she's almost as tall as Anakin so this corridor designed for her small frame doesn't make sense. Also candles are impractical in SW universe...They're quite dangerous to lit on space ship and it would be easier to use regular artificial source of light. I know it's a nitpick but I couldn't stop myself from noticing this. I think it would help if you could make some power level comparison or add some inner thoughts about it (like Maul knows that Anakin is more powerful but there is something that he did to be sure of his loyalty or something like that). Anyway I'm going to continue reading because you have some good premise here.

    Last Edited Wed 03 Jun 2020 01:51AM EDT

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    1. Fantastic feedback! Thank you so much for the focus you added to it and trying to help me. I'm going to do my best to answer your questions, so bear with me!
      1) They are supposed to be their ROTS ages so that Anakin is both physically more menacing and also, (in my opinion) much more attractive.
      2)The control Maul has over Anakin is much more psychological than physical having kidnapped him at a very young age. It's a little Stockholm-Syndrome-ish. On a more strategic level, he doesn't want to take out Maul until he finds out who Darth Sidious is, or even better if Maul can take him out for him. It's kind of a get someone else to do your dirty work thing.
      3) Ahsoka will always be shorter than Anakin to me, apparently. I'm going to have to go back and look at the last few episodes of Clone Wars again. She is still skinnier than him though, especially in this world where instead of being raised in the luxury of the Jedi Temple, she was probably malnourished for a long time and looks a little different than in cannon.
      4) Is it bad that I love my space candle all the more for being totally impractical? I never noticed there are no candles in Star Wars. I'm going to be hyper-aware of that when I watch the shows and movies now. So as silly as it is, I'm going to give it a reason for existence for the hell of it. I hope you enjoy this totally insane explanation as much as I do.
      Okay, this is an AU, so the difference between canon and this timeline is candles. Space safe candles exist and get used and somehow this has created a butterfly effect subtle enough not to change too much, except now, Obi-Wan and Qui Gon were killed by Maul in Phantom Menace. (This is so crazy and I love it)
      I hope you keep reading and enjoy the story.
      Have a lovely day.

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      1. Thank you so much for replaying to my comment. I know that some writers can be insecure and defensive when someone else is asking questions. I by no means was trying to backlash your work because I'm always grateful to writers that are creating stories for enjoyment of others. Especially that English is not my native language and well written stories help me to improve it. Thank you for addressing my issues. I totally understand what AU means and all differences to cannon are much appreciated if done well. I was just trying to understand power level in your universe to better get into story and stakes. About Ahsoka - just look at Shaak-Ti - also Togruta but adult one - she's very tall :D Both of them are around 1,90cm in height. Anyway thanks again for this story and good luck with next chapters.

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