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by Beth

Title: Vows
Author: Beth
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Status: Complete
Category: Unclassified
Pairing (Primary): Mulder/Krycek
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Rating: Not Rated
Spoilers: Tunguska/Terma. That's it.
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Disclaimer: Not mine, clearly. I woulda made them gay. And the song is by Billy Bragg.
Summary: Um. This is kind of a strange one, but I thought I'd post it here because it represents the first thing I have been able to write in a matter of months. It has been unbelievably frustrating, but now I think there may be light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks everyone for encouragement I have received. Basically, I was thinking about the trend for writing original, personal marriage vows, and I was wondering what the boys' would be. :)


By Beth

Part I

You killed my father.

And I vowed that I would kill you for it.

It was more a matter of pride than anything else. God knows, I never loved my father. But you had taken something that was mine and I couldn't let you have it without a fight. I don't think I had ever hated someone so much before, and I found myself thinking about you every night. I would replay your every word, gesture touch...

And I found myself wanting more. You were like some dark addiction that was slowly killing me, but I couldn't turn away. I still can't. I needed something that only you could give me, only you could give up to me, and I would have done anything to get it. I prepared myself to find you, prepared myself for the sacrifices I would have to make- my job, my friends, possibly even my life. And then you came to me.

And the impact of fists on flesh wasn't enough. It was never enough, but I had never admitted it to myself. So I took you. And you let me. You surrendered yourself to me. I think you would have let me kill you, but that wasn't even close to what I wanted.

I wanted you to be there. I didn't want the mask that you have perfected so well, I wanted you to feel something for a change; to show that you were human. And it worked a little too well. I tried so hard to hurt you, to let you know how little you were worth, but I found myself lost in your eyes... And when you gasped out my name as you came, it had never sounded so right.

I can't promise you that I will ever forgive you. And I don't know if I will ever tell you precisely what I feel about you, exactly how long I've loved you.

But I promise that you will be mine until I kill you.


By Beth

Part II

He walks slowly up the stairs to the stage, and there isn't a sound in the room. He has such presence that even before he has reached the stage, before he has spoken a single word, they are captivated. He is dressed all in black as if in mourning, though for what no one knows. He carries a guitar case in his left hand, and as he lays it down by the stool in the spotlight the audience can see that the hand, the arm, is wrong somehow. It's too stiff, as if from some old injury, and they wonder how he will play.

He sits on the tall stool in the spotlight, but keeps his head bowed. Then he clears his throat softly.

"I'm yours, Fox. For as long as you want me. For forever."

The soft words carry through the silence, and when he looks up he doesn't look at all those who are here for him tonight. His gaze is steadily on one spot in the dark room, and though he cannot possibly see any particular face his green eyes don't waver as he starts to sing.

"When he drops you off, I will not say Who was that who so quickly drove away The things you've done and the places you've been When I open the door for you I will not let them in

As long as you come back to me I will never ask For you I will be The man in the iron mask.

You said you loved me and it broke my heart I was always your prisoner right from the start The nights you spend without me This house is like a dungeon And you only return to torture me more.

You must have your reasons I will not ask For you I will be The man in the iron mask."

The husky voice dies away and there is silence. He finally looks away, turning his head and rubbing his right hand over his face. With one last glance at the shadowed seat he turns and leaves the stage, leaving the empty guitar case alone in the spotlight.

Major thanks to Ursula. :)

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Beth