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Lavender-Gman: Surrender Dorothy

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Lavender-Gman: Surrender Dorothy By Hepaestion

May 1999
Disclaimer: X-Files characters belong to CC and 1013 Productions
Keywords: M/K slash , humor, romance
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: snippet following my Lavender G-man story
Warning: none
Author's note: got inspired while babysitting my little cousin, who demanded to watch Wizard of Oz for the millionth time

'Surrender Dorothy' written in the sky by the Wicked Witch of the West

'I'm afraid there's no denyin'
I'm just a dandylion'- the Cowardly Lion

'When a man's an empty kettle
He should be on his mettle
and yet I'm torn apart
Just because I'm presumin'
That I could be kind of human
If I only had a heart' - the Tin Man

'I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding a berry
If I only had a brain'
- the Scarecrow

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true - sung by Dorothy

Lavender-Gman: Surrender Dorothy

(background music is Wizard of Oz's 'Over the Rainbow)

Alex puts his hands over his ears as the music is blasted through the house. He storms over to Mulder's office, where his huband is calmly tapping at the keyboard.

'Dammit Fox, I am about to fucking lose it! If I hear Wizard of Oz one more time, I swear I might go medieval on someone in this house!' Alex said.

'Alex, you know David has to do the play tomorrow and he is studying. It was YOU who told him to join the theater group at his school. You were the one who was so excited about he being cast in the Wizard of Oz play.' Mulder said affectionately but never raising his eyes off the computer monitor.

Alex wrapped his arms around his husband's body and brought his lips to the long, pale neck.

'Hey, did I happen to tell you today, that I am madly in love with you.' Alex said, kissing Fox's neck.

Fox stopped typing and took a deep breath. They been officially husband and husband for only 5 years but together the past 10. Fox looked at his wedding band and smiled, he was always thankful for the direction his life had taken.

'Hey, those kisses feel really good now, but we need to make dinner. David needs to go to bed early. Tomorrow is the play.' Fox said, he turned around and kissed Alex's mouth gently.

'Ok ok, but tonight you are all mine. We put the kid to bed and then you and me will have some hot sex. I want to dive deep inside my husband's body tonite.' Alex said in a deep, sexy voice. Fox could feel his erection beginning to rise in his pants.

'That husband of mine is a date. Let's go.' Fox said and both men headed towards the kitchen.


'Fox, could you please pass me the baby carrots.' Alex said.

'Sure babe, David honey you want some carrots. They are your favorite.' Fox said to his 8 yr old adopted son.

'I 'm not hungry Dad.' David said, he was a bit pensive and quiet for once at the table.

'Hey kiddo, what's wrong? You feeling ok?' Alex asked and quickly went over to feel the child's forehead. Mulder smiled and rolled his eyes, Alex was protective about David's health.

'I feel ok Dad! I am just kinda scared, tomorrow is the play you know. What if I suck?' David said.

'Suck? No way...kiddo, listen David, you are doing great so far. You showed both of us how well you know the song and how you memorized your lines. You are going to knock them dead. You will be the star of the show! No kid of mine would ever suck at anything..' Alex saw the look on Mulder's face and decided to shut up.

Mulder got up and walked over to his son, ' Listen David, you been working hard on this play. But in the end all you can do is your best. But no matter what, we Daddies know we have the best 'Tin Man' in Oz history!' Fox smiled and kissed his son's forehead.

'Mr. Dingleberry, the school's newspaper entertainment critic was at the dress rehersal. He told Miss Shannon, our drama teacher that I was weak and lacked gusto for the part. I think he is going to write something horrible about me.' David said, he frowned and bit his thumb.

Alex pulled the boy's thumb out of his mouth, 'David, Mr. Dingleberry is NOT going to give you a bad review. I promise you on that.'

Mulder watched Alex promise the child and shook his head. Alex knew better than to make empty promises to their kid.

'Really Daddy?' David said, he was smiling a bit more now.

'Scout's honor.' Alex said. They both dismissed David with a kiss each, and told him to ready himself for bedtime.

'Scout's honor? When were you ever a boy scout, Alex?' Mulder asked, he lifted an eyebrow.

'Well, never but I did fuck one once.' Alex said, Fox smacked him on the arm and they began clearing the table.


'Oh Fox, you are so beautiful baby. Let me taste that cock.' Alex said quietly to his husband.

Mulder moaned and spread his legs wide for Alex's attention. He watched his husband reach down and take his hard, leaky cock inside his mouth.

'Ohhhhhhh god yes Alex.' Mulder said and arched into Alex's mouth.

Alex suckled Fox's cock until the man was gasping and finally groaning out his orgasm. Alex swallowed every drop of the luscious cum. Homosexual ambrosia.

Within a few minutes, Alex was mounting Fox from behind. He slipped his hard cock into Fox's asshole. Years of fucking has made Fox perfect for penetration, just enough friction and looseness. In a slow thrust, Alex was deep inside Fox's ass. In and out they rocked, their marriage bed slamming against the wall.

'Ohhhhh yeaah , Oh goddd'

'Baby baby, more more, that's it'

'Daddy?' was suddenly heard in the room.

Alex turned around and found their son wiping his sleepy eyes and standing in the room. In one rapid movement he pushed himself out of Mulder's ass and covered both of them up.

'David? What is wrong, what are you doing here?' Alex asked, he kept trying to catch his breath and act normal. Their son hadn't accidentally walked in on them in over 4 years.

Mulder tried to sit up but he felt his ass was a bit sore. He hated fast removals.

'I had a nightmare, I dreamed I messed up during the play and everyone started to laugh at me.' David said and walked toward's his parent's bed.

Alex wiped himself under the sheets and away from David's eyes and then got up. He wrapped the robe around him and went over to his son.

'Come on kiddo, let's go back to bed. You can tell me your dream there, let Fox get some sleep he has an early meeting tomorrow.' Alex said and picked up his son.

Eventually, an hour later the entire Krycek-Mulder house was sleeping. Both Daddies and their son in the middle,who eventually refused to stay in his own bed.


Alex and Mulder sat in the first row and watched with parental delight as their son performed in his school's production of The Wizard of Oz.

Not only was the boy's fathers there, but beside them were FBI Director Dana Scully Skinner, her husband Walter S. Skinner, John Byers and his longtime companion Langley. Uncle Frohike was in the aisle with the video camera recording the momentus event.

The boy sang in the costume his godmother Dana helped put together. She watched with teary eyes at her godson sing one of her favorite childhood songs:

I'd be tender, I'd be gentle And awful sentimental Regarding love and art I'd be friends with the sparrows and the boy that shoots the arrows If I only had a heart

The boy belted the song out and only missed a note here and there.

At the end, the entire auditorium of parents and friends errupted in applause as the St. Judy Garland's Private School drama class took their bow. Mulder presented the drama teacher Miss Shannon with a beautiful bouquet of roses.

Dana, Walter, Langley and the rest yelled, 'bravo! bravo!'

Mulder leaned towards Alex's ear and whispered, 'so do you think the newspaper critic will write something bad about David?'

'Actually, I think I heard that Mr. Dingleberry couldn't make it to the play.' Alex said.

'Alex? Oh no what did you do?' Mulder asked.


In the basement of the St. Judy Garland Private School:

'mmmmmmlp gtttttttp mee outtttttt helppppppp' came the muffled screams of Mr. Dingleberry who was tied up and trapped in the basement. A note by his side said he was to be released after the play was over.

The end.