Christmas Surprise (M/K) by Bertie
Note: Not betad
Mulder had tried to get Scully to come with him but she had absolutely refused.
"Mulder, I don't like those types of shows. They are degrading and silly. If you wanna go so badly, then go without me."
Mulder sighed. He'd hoped to convince Scully to go so he wouldn't be caught going to a male review alone. At least with Scully he could always say she forced him to come with her. Looks like he had no other choice. It had been a long time since he'd gone to one of these shows. He always loved the dancing and the fact he was usually the only male there was entertaining as well.
Well, it was three days before Christmas and he was going to treat himself. If anything he could vicariously have fun getting pinched on the ass by the women there.
Driving there, he had to force himself to turn into the little bar. He'd almost chickened out. He finally parked and entered the smoky dive. He was conspicuously not the only male which surprised him. He hadn't expected there to be so many men...he was certain this was a straight bar...at least last time he came it had been.
A stripper was just finishing his performance, so Mulder found a spot near the stage and hoped he hadn't missed better acts.
The emcee announced the next performer. Mulder smiled when he recognized the music of "Santa Baby" being played in the background. He wondered if this was going to be some fat dude in a Santa suit...yep, that's what it was. He almost got up and left, but he saw the suit didn't stop the performer from moving with sensuality. An unusual feat behind a big fluffy red and white suit and big white beard. He decided he wanted to know what the dancer looked like, so he stayed.
When the big coat came off, the body of the dancer was painted with red and had white splotches like cotton balls running down his chest. At least the man was fit and could definitely move better now the coat was gone.
Now Mulder's hands itched to remove the dancer's fat red pants. The guy teased the audience first by stepping out of his black boots. Mulder smiled to see that the guy's feet were dyed black. Everyone was waiting for the big pants to come off, and with a shimmy of his hips, the pants slipped down revealing the rest of the dancer.
Mulder studied the artistry of the dancer. The guy's legs were reddened but there was something more mesmerizing. Someone had painstakingly put cotton balls around the man's white g-string, which emphasized the dancer's long cock.
Mulder moved closer to the stage so he could tip the sexy dancer. The dancer had moved closer to the audience to get tips. The men were running their hands up and down the dancers legs, but he would dance away if any of them became more adventurous.
Before the dancer moved towards him, he returned to put the bulk of his tips into one of his discarded boots, then danced some more.
By the time the dancer moved towards Mulder, the FBI agent couldn't stand it any longer. He put 100 dollars in the g-string of the dancer then ripped the fake beard off the man's face.
The audience clapped and hooted uproarisly. But Mulder stared in shock at the face of a man he thought was dead. Alex Krycek stared back at him for just a moment, smiled then danced back to center stage. Mulder watched too stunned to move as the g-string was removed and the performance ended.
Mulder immediately moved toward the back of the stage, unfazed by the guard standing there. He gave him 300 dollars to move aside. The guard easily took the money and let him go backstage.
There was no room for a dressing room, so it was just a large common room with one mirror and several dancers getting ready to leave or go on stage. They eyed him warily but he made a beeline straight for Alex.
Without even turning around, Alex asked, "What're you doing here, Mulder? Come to gloat?"
"No, not at all. I didn't even know you were alive, let alone a stripper."
"With the Consortium things are never as they seem, Mulder. Haven't you noticed that?" He waved his very flexible and real left arm to emphasize his point.
"How long have you been out of the Consortium, Alex?"
Alex pulled on his shoes and said, "Let's take this outside, Mulder. This isn't the time or the place."
Mulder nodded and waited for Alex to collect his things and they both walked out of the back entrance to the bar together. Alex took out a cigarette and lit it. After taking a few long drags, he tamped the end to save for later.
"The stuff's helped me forget the black oil aftertaste." He shuddered. "Let's get out of the cold." He pointed to a black Mustang. Mulder obliged him.
Once they were settled in the car, Mulder asked again, "How long?"
"Since I fucked up on the Duane Barry case, Mulder. It was pure coincidence you met up with me in Hong Kong. Now I wish I'd never met Gerry. The only good thing after being trapped in the silo in North Dakota was that my estranged grandfather helped me leave the Consortium for good."
"That's heart warming, Alex...but are you telling me that since North Dakota my fond memories of you were really of a double? Your clone perhaps?"
Alex shrugged. "I guess, Mulder. I was well out of the business when I learned about what happened in Russia. I'm so grateful to my grandfather for getting me out before that."
"Who is he?"
Alex sighed. "The Brit, Mulder. My Russian father married one of the Brit's daughters. At first he was so upset that a Ruskie had taken one of his children." Alex laughed. "Abducted her to America to live with a beer guzzling, thick accented man. The Brit didn't want to have anything to do with us. I think his familial feelings were stirred when he learned that Spender left me in the silo to die."
Mulder was unusually quiet for a moment then asked, "You're hiding from them by stripping?"
Alex shook his head. "No, I'm not really hiding from them or anyone. Just so happens my job keeps me moving. Since my grandfather died and many of the others, I haven't had a problem."
"That's good. You going to spend Christmas with your parents?"
"Not planning to...unless my next gig is close to them." "Wanna spend it with me?" Mulder asked.
"What about your partner?"
"She's got William and family to deal with."
"William?" asked Alex.
"Scully's child. I would be too much of a burden for the Scullys so I decided to make myself scarce."
"That's too bad, Mulder. I've always wanted to get to know you better outside of the FBI and Consortium mantles."
Mulder smiled. "Looking forward to it. Remember where I live?"
Alex nodded. "Yeah, I do. I'll see you there."
Mulder grinned then left the car to find his own. This Christmas was looking up for one Fox William Mulder.
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