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Forgetful By KMS!

Subject: Forgetful (1/12) (m/k slash) by KMS!
Date: 19 Jul 1997 22:00:04 -0700

Title: Forgetful (1/12)
Disclaimer: Characters are property to Carter/1013/Fox.
Rating: NC17 for m/m & m/m/f.
Classification: SR
Summary: Krycek is sent to pick up Mulder after another mind-wipe. Author's note: This story takes place sometime after 'Apocrypha.'
Story archived at: [archivist's note: url given by author is no longer valid]



Chapter 1: Retrieval

Krycek glanced around again. None of the military troops were visible from his vantage point. Huddling in the shadow of the building, he reached up and checked the window above him. The hanger was well guarded but what he most needed was inside, and tonight he was going to get it. Silently he lifted the glass off the window he had pried open earlier and slipped inside the building.

Workers still moved around the room, but no one took notice of the silent shape that slipped inside. Quietly he made his way up to the catwalk above, following a crooked path to his destination. Passing over scurrying figures dressed in white haz-mat uniforms, and what looked to be the remains of an alien craft, Alex made his way to the area that had been partitioned away from the rest of the hanger's activity.

Below him, men dressed in doctor's white lab coats worked on a figure that was strapped to the bed. His tall, lanky form struggled against the bonds holding his wrists to the bed. Straps crossed his chest and legs, holding him secure against his struggles. Alex watched as the figure seemed to give up the fight, limbs relaxing at last, as the hypodermic needle was withdrawn from his arm. The doctors continued to work over him, carefully watching several monitors surrounding the now still figure.

'I can't believe he's gotten himself into this mess,' Alex thought. Once again they had caught Fox Mulder red-handed and had decided to deal him a more durable solution. Nothing too permanent.

From his position, Alex could also see the smoking bastard watching the proceedings, giving the occasional order.

"He forgets everything." Alex heard the command.

"Yes, Sir, already done," came the ready reply.

Damn. Damn. Damn. It might already be too late. Nothing he could do at the moment. He would have to wait for the right time to make his move.

Alex settled in for a long wait, perching himself among the catwalks, keeping an eye out for trouble.

"That should do it, Sir. He shouldn't remember a thing about his experiences here."

"Will he still have verbal capabilities?" Cancerman asked.

"Yes, Sir. He will be able to function, but the majority of his memories have all been erased. Albeit temporarily."

"Excellent." And with that, Alex watched the black-lunged bastard leave.

Alex watched as they loaded the sleeping Mulder on a rolling gurney, and pushed him toward the waiting military ambulance.

Now was his chance. Alex made his way out of the building, and moving swiftly, got in his Range Rover in pursuit of the ambulance.

It didn't take Alex long to execute his plan to overtake the ambulance, running it off the road, taking out the drivers. They apparently, had not been expecting such actions from anyone and Alex met with little trouble disabling them and retrieving his 'package.' Mulder's limp form took a little muscle to transfer into his own car. The man weighed more than he looked! Once safely in his own vehicle, Alex sped off, leaving the incapacitated men to be found by their own people. Alex glanced over at Mulder again, double checking that the seat belt was securely around his waist, even though the seat back was in a fully reclined position. Taking the next exit, Alex pulled to the side of the road. Pulling on the brake, he leaned over and pulled up Mulder's left eye-lid. Sure enough, his eyes were still dilated with the sedative Cancerman's people had given him. Satisfied that Mulder would not wake up too soon, Alex eased off the brake and took off again, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.

Hours and over a hundred miles later, Alex felt he could finally breath a sigh of relief. Alex looked down at the sleeping form. He did not know what to expect from Mulder when he awoke. Alex himself was exhausted from the long drive to his hideout and he was doubly glad that he had stocked away the money he had gotten selling the secrets off the digital tape. Now he was safely hidden away on a small ranch in Colorado, compliments of Cancerman's secrets, thank-you-very-much. Alex was a little smug with himself for having gotten what he had from the digital tape. Fox Mulder was tucked safely away in his room, sleeping off the effects of the sedative he had been given.

He still didn't have much memory of what happened between the time he had run across Mulder in Hong Kong and when he had come back to himself in that damn silo. Jesus, sometimes he could still taste black oil in his mouth from his alien encounter. If it hadn't been for Mulder's contact, Mr. X, he would still be behind that locked door. Effectively imprisoned. Effectively dead. He remembered looking out through the glass window and seeing Cancerman's smug face smiling back at him, just before the bastard had walked away, leaving Alex alone with the alien craft.

Alex had spent the next four days trying to get the hell out of there. Unsuccessfully. Hunger gnawed at his belly, and he was desperate for a taste of water. He knew he had been hallucinating, imagining oily aliens and Cancerman's face grinning down at him. He thought he was still hallucinating when the large black man had stood over him, looking as if he hadn't decided yet if Alex was worth saving or not.

But, miraculously, the man had really been there and gotten Alex out. When Alex was conscious again, the man made Alex's choices clear. Work with him, against Cancerman, or go back to the silo. The choice wasn't hard.

Alex knew he was being used as a tool against Cancerman but that didn't bother him in the least. Mr. X let him go his own way most of the time, as long as he was willing to do the occasional job for him.

Rescuing Fox Mulder had been just another job. Though for the life of him, Alex could not figure out why the black man had sent him after Mulder. Surely he knew the way Mulder felt about him. Mulder hated Krycek. He still believed that Alex had killed his father, William, even though Alex had told him that he hadn't. Fucking trigger-happy Cardinal. Just as soon shoot people as look at them. Fat lot of good it did him. The Consortium had eliminated him as soon as he became a liability. Personally, Alex thought he had become a liability as soon as Louis had shot Melissa Scully, instead of their intended target, Dana Scully. Not when he had failed to kill Assistant Director Skinner. Twice. Failing once in the cafe and again, when he was being transported to another hospital. Louis was a fool, but he knew how to play the game. Until he lost, that is.

Louis must have done some fast talking after that time with Melissa Scully. After all, that was when THEY had decided to kill Alex for his 'failure to complete his mission.' Escaping the bomb that had sent him running for his life, he was suddenly just as glad that Mulder's partner had escaped that fiasco. Though he did regret her sister's death, Melissa Scully had not been a player and should not have been involved.

Alex had to wonder. He would rather be on Cancerman's bad side than Mulder's. He had seen both now and while Cancerman's anger could get him killed, Mulder's anger could explode into personal violence. At least Mulder could be reasoned with. The other preferred to coldly order his executions from a distance.

Alex wrestled the unconscious agent out the Range Rover and up the stairs to the guest room. Plopping the lanky form onto the bed, Alex stripped him down to his boxer shorts and laid him back on the bed. He positioned him as comfortably as he could, noting as he did the bruises caused by rough hands and leather restraints. Mulder must have put up quite a struggle before they had managed to subdue him. If Alex knew the smoking bastard's minions, they had not been gentle. He drew up the covers, laying the quilt over the drowsing man, willing him to sleep through the night.

And now, here he was, with Mulder quietly sleeping in his bed. Alex grinned ruefully. Krycek had a nice little set up for himself. An untraceable new identify, he now went by the name 'Ben Alexander.' And plenty of money left over from his 'digital days,' as he liked to call them. The ranch was remote enough to be private but not a great distance from the nearest small town.

Looking down at Mulder, a wry smile played at Alex's lips. This was probably the most pleasant time he would be spending with Mulder, he might as well enjoy it. When the Special Agent woke up he would have to deal with the infamous 'Mulder Temper.' No doubt it would be directed at him like a gun, just waiting for the hair trigger to set it off.

Alex glanced over and checked the sleeping agent once more before leaving the room. Mulder was out, and looked like he would be that way for a while. Alex finished up what little chores he still had to do around the house before he went to bed himself. His last act was to ensure that his weapon was stored and locked away before he let himself rest. No sense in letting an upset Mulder awaken and arm himself.


Alex jerked awake. Looking at the digital clock on his bedside table, he figured it was still hours away from dawn. What the hell had woken him up? Suddenly, he heard the sound of a wordless shout. Crawling out from under the covers in his tee shirt and boxers, he padded his way down the hall to Mulder's room. Peering into the darkness, he saw Mulder's form sitting up on the bed.

"Mulder!" Alex hissed at him from the doorway.

Mulder jerked toward the sound of the voice. Alex heard what sounded remarkably like a sob come from the bed. Trying to discern the figure on the bed, he entered the room and made his way to the bed.

"Mulder, go to sleep. You're all right. Just go back to sleep." Alex tried to instill a soothing calm into his voice. Moonlight streaming in from the windows made it a little easier to discern shapes until his eyes adjusted to the gloom.

He watched as Mulder drew a shuddery breath. "Who... who are you?" It almost didn't sound like Mulder. The voice was too unsure, too scared.

Alex reached out a hand to him and touched his shoulder as a frown furrowed his brow. "It's okay. You're safe. Everything's okay. Go back to sleep."

Mulder was staring at him with wide eyes, studying his face as best he could in the dim light. "Who are you?" he asked in a hushed tone.

Alex pushed at the shoulder so Mulder would lay down again, sitting himself on the edge of he bed. Thinking he might as well get it over with, he reached over and snapped on the bedside lamp. Both men blinked with the suddenness of bright light, before staring at each other.

Mulder's eyes showed confusion, while Alex's waited for the inevitable hatred to appear. When it didn't, Alex's eyes filled with confusion, too.

"It's me. Alex." Alex's astonishment was palpable. "You don't remember me?" Alex's eyebrows rose higher.

Hazel eyes studied the younger man for a long minute. He had no idea who he was. Mulder glanced nervously around the room. He had no idea where he was. "I don't know you. Where am I?"

Alex almost jerked back in astonishment. Mulder sounded so young and confused. And if he had no memory of Krycek, well, at least they wouldn't be at each other's throats. This was definitely going to put a crimp in Mr. X's plans. Mulder wasn't much use to anyone without that incredible mind of his.

Mulder watched as an array of thoughts flickered though the other man's eyes. The hand that still rested on his shoulder felt warm, reassuring. Mulder swallowed hard. 'Who am I? Who's Mulder? Me? Who is he? He says his name is Alex, but who is Alex? Where am I?' Panic was starting to rise in his chest. 'Why can't I remember? What has happened?' Unanswered questions ricocheted around in his brain.

Alex noted the fear rising in Mulder's eyes, the body tensing beside him. Without a second thought, Alex gathered the other in his arms, shooing away the fear. He felt Mulder's arms wrap themselves tightly around his waist, burying his head against Alex's chest. "You're okay. You'll be okay. You're safe. I'll take care of you." The words tumbled out in a reassuring murmur.

Alex's arms tightened as he felt a terrified sob rock the lean frame. Shit! He had not counted on this. What the hell were they going to do now. He was sure that Mr. X's plans did not include a mind-wiped Mulder.

Alex recalled the few times in his childhood that someone had comforted him in the middle of the night. A dim memory of his grandmother's arms holding him, chasing away a bad dream, came unbidden to his mind. She had always been the one he had gone to when he was in trouble. The only one who would stand up for the small child against an implacable father and a mother who would not protest his treatment of their son, fear of bringing down his father's wrath on herself, holding her at bay. Alex knew that the comfort of those arms had only lasted a few years. His grandmother had died when he was eight. The memory of long ago comfort made his arms tighten around the terrified man before him.

Then another memory rose to the surface of Alex's mind. He remembered another person who he had held in his arms as she wept in frustration. He had been seventeen and had gone over to his sixteen-year-old girlfriend's house to see her, but she had been out at the time. What he did find was her nineteen-year-old sister weeping from a fight she had just had with her parents. He had held her in his arms until her tears dried up and suddenly they were in a passionate embrace. One thing led to another and he had ended up sleeping with her. The affair had continued for weeks, all under the unknowing noses of both her parents and her little sister. Alex had not broken off with Penny either. They had continued to date until the night he had convinced her to let him spend the night in her bed. They had made love while her older sister had slept on in her own bed, unawares, in the room the sisters shared. Hours later, Penny awoke to the sounds of Alex and her older sister in bed together. She had been ready to throw him out, livid with anger, but somehow Alex had managed to convince her that her parents would blame everything on her. After all, she had invited him to stay the night. He had even managed to convince her it was her fault that he was sleeping with her sister. At her incredulous look, he had carefully explained that since she would not put out, he had been ready to drop her. Having her sister had met his needs and kept him dating her.

Alex was nothing if not an opportunist. He had always been something of a sexual predator, and knew how to take advantage of situations. He was a mercenary at heart. Being on the run had sharpened that instinct. Willingly, he had given his body away for a warm place to sleep, a safe haven for the night. Men or women, it didn't much matter to Alex.

Alex looked down at the man in his arms as his sobs subsided. As Mulder's questioning face turned up to him, Alex placed his hands on either side of Mulder's head. At Mulder's hiccuped 'who are..', Alex leaned forward and kissed him. Alex smoothed the tear-stained cheeks with his thumb and kissed him again. Harder, longer. "It's okay. It's me. Alex." Another kiss. Deeper.

Slowly Fox Mulder responded. His eyes closed as he concentrated on the sensations his body was receiving. His lips parted as the other man's insistent tongue thrust it's way into his mouth. He felt himself pushed back against the mattress, his body crushed under the weight of the younger man.

Alex was delighted. He sucked at Fox's mouth, nibbling at the full lower lip with pleasure. A jolt of pure lust tightened his groin. His hands roamed over Mulder's body, pushing the thin tee-shirt up to reveal Mulder's chest. Alex released Mulder's mouth and lowered his head, leaving a trail of wet kisses on his neck down to his chest, tonguing each nipple before sucking it into his mouth.

Fox's body arched with the sudden sensations. Sucking one nipple into his mouth, Alex pinched the other between his thumb and forefinger. Mulder's body arched again as a loud moan filled the room.

Alex allowed his hands to continue down Mulder's body. One hand slipped between his legs and cupped the growing erection, still encased in the thin fabric of his cotton boxer shorts, in his palm.

Fox's hips rocked toward him and Alex moved to the opening in the boxer shorts. Slipping a finger inside, he stroked it lightly over Mulder's hardening cock, tracing a vein, before sliding his whole hand in and cupping him in his palm again. Drawing the rod through the opening, Alex put a fist at the base of the erection and teased the penis to its fullest length.

Alex kissed his way down the lightly furred chest, over the tight stomach, before snaking out a tongue to lick the pre-cum that glistened at the head of Mulder's cock.

Alex swallowed once, wetting his lips, before taking Mulder into his throat until he reached the hairy root, then began a long, slow suck that left Mulder whimpering for more. Again and again, Alex's head bobbed until suddenly he stopped. Mulder looked down at him in panic, fearing that Alex would stop. Alex merely grinned at him and slipped his fingers inside the waistband of the boxers, tugging them down.

Mulder lifted his hips to assist and soon the boxers were in a heap on the floor. Fox's erection bobbed into the air, free of the material constriction. Before he could move, Alex was on top of him again, kissing him deeply, thrusting his tongue deep into Mulder's mouth, rubbing his hard body against the other man's. Mulder sucked him in, feeling the tongue duel hotly with his. With their mouths locked in a passionate kiss, Alex stripped his own clothes off, an extra pair of hands helping to slid the material out of the way.

Alex reached over and opened the bedside drawer. Fumbling around a moment, he finally felt the foil wrapped condom and the bottle of astroglide.

"Turn over," he whispered to Fox, suprising himself with how husky his voice sounded.

Fox looked into eyes that had darkened with lust. Rolling over, he felt Alex kneeling between his knees, pushing his legs further apart. A cool fluid was spread by Alex's warm fingers as they slid over Mulder's ass then down deep into his rectum.

Alex swiveled his fingers so he was rubbing Mulder's prostrate, his other hand slipping to the front to grasp Mulder's cock, teasing it.

An ecstatic grin crossed his face as Alex imagined himself sinking his flagpole into Mulder's undiscovered territory, for it was very apparent that Mulder was a virgin to some kinds of sex. Hot, tight. He applied more lubricant to his fingers.

Tearing open the foil packet and catching the rolled rubber between his fingers, Alex brought the condom to his own straining cock and gently rolled it on. Touching himself had caused his cock to harden even further and he grabbed his penis in his right hand and aimed the head toward Mulder's ass. Sliding the head between the greased mounds, he rubbed the tip up and down the furrow before narrowing his aim to the small brown hole. He smoothed a hand down the spine and over the cheeks, spreading them.

Holding himself just below the crown, he guided the head into Mulder's anus and pushed. Mulder groaned and thrust his hips into the mattress, relieving the pressure a little.

Pushing harder he felt the orifice surround the head. One hard thrust of his hips and his cock was in, slipping into the slick passage. Alex stopped a moment, giving Mulder a chance to adjust to his size before he thrust himself deeper. Mulder felt his body responding, pushing back against the heated flesh that entered his body. Mulder grunted as Alex entered him, possessed him.

"Take it, baby. Take it all. I want to fuck you so hard, you won't be able to walk for a week," Alex whispered through clenched teeth.

Alex put both hands on the Mulder's hips, drawing him up, up to cock level, away from the bed. Once Mulder had raised himself to his knees, Alex began to seriously thrust into him. Harsh breathing, the slap of flesh on rear flesh, and the squish-squish of Alex's cock claiming Mulder were the only sounds in the room.

Mulder's body was jolted as Alex set a brutal rhythm. His own cock felt like glass as it teased the fabric of the sheets. He thought he would shatter apart if he touched himself.

Alex pounded into him with a fury he had never felt before during sex. Mulder represented the point in his life when everything had changed, gone wrong. Even though he had made all those choices himself, he still wanted someone other than himself to blame. Uncaring that this was Mulder's first time his thrusts became harsher, deeper. He wanted to lose his load in Fox Mulder's heart, to forever stain it with his own black soul.

A soft groan drew his attention back to his partner. He looked down, seeing Mulder's hand grasping his wrist. Then, just as suddenly as the anger had come upon him, it left. Something inside him broke open and a flood of softer emotion filled him. The part of him that harbored jealousy and hate for this man drained away. His movements slowed, his caresses became softer, more gentle, making the man below him moan in pleasure, not pain. A tiny voice inside him wanted Mulder to enjoy this experience. Enjoy being with him in this way. The tiny voice that he had long ago silence, whispered that he had always admired Fox Mulder, admired his courage against all the dark forces. The same dark forces that Alex had allowed to trample his own life. Maybe more than admired. Maybe loved him. He had always been suprised that being around Mulder had excited him. His strength, his resolve, his ferociously protective nature. Again Alex silenced the little voice. Loving Mulder was not something he was willing to allow himself to think about. Couldn't afford to think about. Couldn't afford to remember how good it felt when Mulder had allowed him into his world. How he had allowed him to accompany him when he went to see Scully at the autopsy bay, exposing her importance to his new partner. Couldn't afford to remember how good it felt to have Mulder's trust. Trust which he had promptly betrayed.

Alex leaned forward and nipped at Mulder's ear. Mulder twisted around until his lips met Alex's. Alex slid his tongue into Mulder's mouth, thrusting in time with his body's movements. Mulder groaned and pushed himself against the hard cock that stretched his opening.

With a groan Alex exploded into Mulder, inducing Mulder's release into the sheets. Both collapsed upon the bed, and Alex made the effort to roll off Mulder. Turning him over he engulfed Mulder into his arms, kissing him warmly, letting the older man nibble at his lips. It was only when the tension of climax left him that he was sorry he had used him so roughly. He knew past events were not Mulder's fault, he had made his own choices, even if those choices had come back to bite him in the ass. That and the thought of doing this again, made him regret his harsh lovemaking. Mulder would need a little time to heal if he had hurt him. With a sigh he kissed Fox softly, stroking his back, calming his fears, making him feel loved, cherished. His voice was low as he murmured his reassurance to Fox. Alex switched off the bedside lamp, and curling around his former partner's backside, one hand wrapped around Mulder's waist, he pulled the covers over their sweat dampened bodies and with a final kiss to the back of Fox's neck, they quickly fell asleep.


Chapter 2: Caretaker

Alex awoke to the smell of cigarette smoke in the room. Wrinkling his nose, he squinted into the bright morning light. What he saw almost made his heart stop.

That black-lunged bastard sat on the edge of the bed, calmly studying Alex's suprised face and Mulder's still-sleeping form. In his right hand he casually held a small caliber pistol.

As Alex watched, he inhaled another puff of smoke and released it in a swirl in the morning light. "I think we need to talk, don't you, Alex?" The old man's voice was pleasant and unhurried. Cancerman held Alex's eyes a moment before he continued. "Why don't you put something on and join me downstairs for coffee. We'll call a truce until we finish our little discussion."

At Alex's dubious look, Cancerman said, "You have nothing to lose, Alex, and everything to gain. There's no reason we can't be pleasant to one another while we work out a few details." The old man stood up and the gun disappeared into a pocket as he exited the room. A few moments later, Alex smelled fresh coffee brewing.

Looking down at himself, he realized that it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what he and Mulder had been doing all night. They had still been wrapped around each other, naked in the bed, when Cancerman had found them. Not like he could claim conserving body heat because of a blizzard. Going back to his room, he threw on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. He considered taking his gun, but reluctantly decided if the old man wanted him dead, he would be a corpse already.

Entering the kitchen, Alex saw Cancerman sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him, a cigarette at his lips. Passing him, he reached into the cupboard and got a mug, filling it with coffee. Taking a sip, he moved to the table and sat across from the old man.

"So, what happens now?"

Cancerman looked at him, exhaling smoke, before replying. "The truth of the matter is, Alex, I am happy with the situation as it stands."

Alex frowned. "What!?" He was confused. Up until a short while ago, he could have sworn the old man wanted him, and Mulder, dead.

The old man's smile was tight. "Agent Mulder's failure to remember at this time is intentional. We needed to disable him for a while until our operation at the base was complete. We knew he would make an appearance and felt it prudent to take him out of the picture for a time. Not on a permanent basis. The fact that you showed up to retrieve him only complimented our efforts."

"So, did my instructions to retrieve him originate from you?"

"Not at all, Mr. Krycek. You merely became an opportunistic occurrence."

"How did you find me?"

"You weren't lost, Alex." Alex pondered that a moment, a frown deepening the creases around his lips.

"What happens now."

"You will continue to care for Agent Mulder, as you seem so capable of doing," at this, Cancerman smirked, "And then he will be returned to his job and his former life."

"But he can't remember anything."

"That is not a permanent condition, Mr. Krycek."

Alex stopped at the implications. "How much will he remember?"

"You have about a month, Alex. Perhaps two. He won't remember what occurred to him at the base, but the rest of his memory will return by then. It is convenient for our purposes for him to remain in your custody. Someone would have to care for him, regardless."

Alex thought hard. "He's going to be pissed."

"Hopefully, by then, you will have made other arrangements for his custodial care."

"What about you and me? As far as I know, I'm still on your hit list."

"The unfortunate turn in our relationship can be mended. It might be useful to me to have a man on the outside, whose services I can call upon occasionally. I have the tape, Alex. You are no further threat in that regard." Cancerman inhaled from the cigarette and blew it out. "Returned by yourself, if you recall." Studying Alex a moment, he continued, "Or maybe you don't," he dismissed the thought with a wave of his hand as unimportant. "In any case, I will give you a reprieve, on the understanding that you are once again at my beck and call. You've shown intelligence in regard to your handling of the tape. Making a profit off the information without exposing its source. Though a little more discretion with your choice of partners in the future might be in order. After all, I believe the French are still looking for you."

Alex's lips tightened in anger. "So, I don't get returned to the fold, but you stop your men from coming after me."

"Doing this little favor for me will go a long way toward mending our fences, Alex. Besides, I don't think you will find it unpleasant. At least, you don't seem to have minded up until now." The smirk returned. "How you spend your time with Agent Mulder in the coming weeks is your business. In fact, the more confused about your relationship you leave him at the end of that time, the better."

"Why?" Alex was intrigued by the suggestion.

"Leaving Mulder distracted can only further our own agenda. Distracting him without having to kill him is preferable."

"Why would that be?"

"Because a distracted Mulder is also a distracted Scully. Mulder dead would only cause her to focus harder on things better left alone. Agent Scully doesn't have Mulder's intuition for these situations but her pursuit of justice can be just as relentless." Cancerman took a sip of his coffee. "The truth of the matter is, working with Mulder has sharpened her intuition, too. She can be nearly as dangerous as he. But if his focus is less sharp, so is hers."

Alex frowned. "I'm confused. Why do you protect him?"

"I told you before, Alex, I can't risk turning Mulder into a martyr."

"You've said that before, but I don't buy it. If you killed both Mulder and Scully, no one would pursuit it. Skinner maybe, but you could rein him in eventually."

"You underestimate Agent Mulder. He still has some well placed connections and his usefulness, to the project, at exposing leaks in our organization, is invaluable. You do recall the incident under which the X-files were closed the first time, don't you."

"Mulder's informant was killed."

"And with your assignment as his partner, you laid bare the fact that he had acquired another. You also revealed how dangerous Agent Scully had become to the project, causing her removal from the scene."

"So, why did you return her?"

Cancerman's smile widened. "Don't you think she works as an excellent leash for Mulder. Threaten his partner, and he can be brought under control. Remove her and he can be brought to his knees. But without her, Mulder is relentless and without remorse. Not a good combination if your at the wrong end of his pursuit. As you, yourself, know, Alex."

Alex shifted, uncomfortable in his chair. "Why kill his father?"

"The elder Mulder was not a threat as long as he was willing to keep silent. But Mulder had both physical documentation and his father as a substantiating witness. Eventually the documents were retrieved, and his father was eliminated before he could confirm the contents of those documents. Confession is not always good for the soul."

"Mulder believes I killed his father because he saw me that night."

"Careless of you, Alex," Cancerman chided.

"He won't be happy with what your suggesting. He hates me."

The smirk had returned. "Not at the moment it seems. And apparently the feeling is not mutual. In any case, you have about a month or more before his memory begins to resurface.

Cancerman stubbed out his cigarette on a saucer and stood. "Do you agree with the terms, Mr. Krycek?"

"It doesn't look like I have much choice."

Cancerman smiled thinly at him. "I'm sure Mr. Mulder's stay, here with you, will prove enlightening and not unpleasant."

Alex knew he had been out-maneuvered.

Cancerman stepped close to Alex, reaching down and patting his shoulder. Alex lifted his face to stare at the old man. "And once this job is out of the way, welcoming you back to the fold should be quite interesting." He looked Alex up and down, trailing a finger down the line of Alex's jaw. "Quite interesting."

Alex's eyes grew wide with suprise.

Without another word Cancerman left the house.

Alex watched as a small army of men loaded themselves into three waiting vehicles and pulled away in a cloud of dust.



In the car Cancerman spoke to one his men. "Did you have time to place all the monitors?"

"Three in each bedroom, one per bath, and two in every other room."

"Fully functional?"

"Systems checked out A-okay. Audio and visual feeds were clear."

"Excellent." Cancerman reached into his pocket and pulling out another cigarette, he lit up again. "Excellent."


When he was sure they had left, he made his way back upstairs. Alex stopped at the door a moment and studied the sleeping form before him. Fox Mulder's face was relaxed, boyish. Alex couldn't remember when he had seen him looking so young.

Fox's lips were parted, a hint of teeth showing, as he drew a slumbered breath. Alex licked his own lips at the sudden rush of lust that hit him. Drawing a deep breath, he let it out slowly. After last night he knew Mulder would be too sore for more sex this morning. Suprisingly, Alex did not feel disappointed. He didn't really want to fuck Mulder this morning, just hold him, cuddle. An eyebrow lifted on his forehead. Cuddle? Was that ME? Did I just say that? Yes, cuddle. A slow smile spread across his face as he crossed the room. Stripping off his clothes, he drew back the covers and climbed in, sliding into Mulder's arms and stealing a quick kiss from those full lips. With a grin he kissed them again, sliding out his tongue to trace over the lips.


Flashes of memory passed by Fox; none staying long enough to make a lasting impression. He moaned at a fleeting image of a child floating out the window before warm lips pressed themselves against his temple and warm arms held him tighter.

Fox could taste the lingering flavor of coffee on Alex's lips. With a soft sigh he enclosed Alex in his arms and threw a leg over him, settling his head on the warm shoulder, before slipping back into the warmth of sleep.


Chapter 3: X marks his spot

Alex woke to find the bed empty. Mulder was gone. In a panic, he jumped out of bed and threw on his clothes. He nearly tripped on the stairs in his rush, coming to a skidding halt when he reached the kitchen. There was Mulder, standing over the sink, staring out the window into the fresh morning sunshine. At Alex's entrance, a shy smile spread across his face.

Alex blinked.

"You have horses."

Alex blinked again. Mulder's voice had held almost childlike wonder. "Yes. Have you ridden before?"

Mulder's smile faded and his brow furrowed in concentration. "I don't know. I don't remember."

"Do you want to ride this morning?"

"Can we?"

Alex had to smile at the eager response. Crossing the room, he came up to Mulder and leaned forward for a kiss. Shyly, Mulder kissed him, their stubble abrading the other's soft cheek, before pulling away, his nose wrinkling. "You need to brush your teeth," he admonished him with adolescent honesty.

Alex grinned. "Why don't we eat breakfast, BRUSH our teeth, THEN go for a ride?"


Hugging the older man, Alex reached down and squeezed his butt. "You're not too sore, are you?"

Mulder pulled away. "A little. But I want to ride."

Alex turned toward the stove thinking of hazel eyes and lean bodies, muttering under his breath. "So do I, Fox. So do I."


They spent the next several days playing. Swimming, wrestling, laughing, joking. Playing basketball. Fox had a hell of a jump shot, sliding easily past Alex's defenses and sinking the ball in one smooth motion. Alex watched in awe as long limbs propelled his lover upward and then gracefully landed him on his feet, a triumphant grin spreading over his face. Sweat poured from him, making his face shiny with perspiration, his shirt sticking wetly to his chest.

Then there was the rest of their time together. Making love. Over and over. And over again. They found new and interesting places to try out. The bed, bathroom, shower, barn and surrounding fields. Mulder seemed to be inexhaustible. Alex hadn't had this much fun in years.

The strangest moment came after their equestrian excursion. Alex went up to the bathroom to get cleaned up. After a quick shower, he stood before the mirror, wearing only a towel, while he found his razor. Mulder had heard the shower go off, so he tentatively knocked on the bathroom door.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure," Alex called.

Mulder opened the door and a burst of cool air entered with him. Alex shivered a little, then reached for the shaving cream. Mulder sat himself down on the edge of the counter and watched Alex as he deftly scraped whiskers from his face.

Alex took a moment to watch the handsome face that intently studied his every move.

"Do you want to shave?"

"Can I?"

Alex smiled at him. "How about I do it for you?"

Mulder's eyes were on the razor, as if it would tell him the secrets of the universe. "Okay. What do I have to do?"

Alex handed the razor to Mulder and grabbed the can of shaving cream. "Just sit back and let me do everything."

He squeezed a dollop of foam onto his palm and returned the can to the counter. Rubbing his hands together, he reached up to Mulder's face and smeared the lather over the beginning beard. Turning on the water, he washed his hands and then took the razor from Mulder. "Okay, turn you head that way," he pointed over his left shoulder with the razor. Mulder head turned and Alex carefully scraped away the stubble. Quietly he gave Mulder instructions, forcing him to make faces so that he could be shaved properly. "Okay, now turn." Obediently, Mulder turned the other way. "Now lift you chin." Again Mulder followed instructions. "Go like this," he said, making another face for Mulder to imitate. Alex had never done this for another man before and found the procedure strangely erotic. Carefully he relieved Mulder of his beard, resisting the urge to run his tongue over the exposed Adam's apple, or to kiss his jaw, or lick the cream off that spot behind his ear. Even the thought of the bitter taste of the lather did not deter him much, but there was something so essentially trusting about the whole thing that made him hesitate and shook him to the core. Mulder trusted him. Mulder. Trusted. Him. With a razor in his hand, Mulder was tilting up his head and exposing his vulnerable neck to him. To HIM. Mister Fox My-Middle-Name-Is-Suspicion Mulder. Alex's hands almost trembled with the thought. He shivered again and reached for a hand towel, rubbing it against Mulder's face, wiping off the last of the foam. Mulder's hand caught his own as he turned to put the towel down.

Hazel eyes studied him. Then Mulder reached up and cupped Alex's face in his hands. Softly their lips met, before Mulder's tongue tentatively slicked Alex's lips. Alex groaned and pressed himself between Mulder's dangling legs. Sliding his hands down to Mulder's ass, he pulled him to the edge of the counter. His hands slid down Mulder's chest, coming to rest on his zipper, sliding it down, out of the way. He felt Mulder's chest tremble as he giggled with delight.

Alex grinned and tugged at Mulder's jeans. "You need a bath, too." Seconds later, Fox's jeans were around his knees. Alex reached over and grabbed the can of shaving lather, applying a little to his hand to use as lubricant. Quickly he slid into Fox, groaning with hot sensation as he did. He leaned forward, gluing his mouth to Fox's, pushing his shoulders back against the mirror as he did. Slowly at first, then faster with each thrust, his hips picked up speed until he was pistoning into Mulder. Reaching down between them, he stroked Mulder's shaft in time with his thrusts.

Alex opened his eyes and looked over Mulder's shoulder. He barely recognized the face in the mirror as his own. His cheeks were flushed, his brows strained with concentration. He watched his hands lower themselves to support the small of Mulder's back, pulling him tighter to him. With a groan he came, collapsing onto his lover, squeezing his testicles in the process. The added pressure drew Fox to his own orgasm and he fell back against the mirror.

Alex watched his deflated cock as he slipped out of Mulder. Mulder kissed him one more time then stepped away from him and climbed into the shower. Soon the room was filling up with steam so thick Alex could barely see his hand in front of his face.

Damn! This whole babysitting thing was going to be harder than he thought. If he didn't watch himself, it was going to be impossible to let go when the time came. And the time would come. Sure as day followed night, it would come.


It was three weeks before Mr. X showed up. Alex awoke to a gentle shove against his shoulder. When he opened his eyes to the darkened room, he spotted the shadowy figure beside his bed.

"Get up, Alex. We need to talk." The faint light of the moon glistened against the man's chocolate skin.

Silently Alex slipped out of the covers, threw on a pair of boxers and padded down the stairs, following Mr. X to the living room. When both men had finally arrived, the dark man whirled on Alex. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing. You were sent to retrieve him, not use him as your personal fuck-toy.

Alex stiffened. "How the hell do you know what we're doing?"

"They have you monitored, you idiot," X hissed at him. "The whole place has more bugs than an ant farm.

Alex's mouth dropped open in shock. "Since when?"

"Since the morning your former boss showed up and made a deal with you. The place is wired for audio and visual."

"All... all this time?" Alex asked with a gulp. His legs suddenly felt like rubber and he sank down on the nearest chair.

"Let's just say we all know how athletic you are now!" Mr. X replied sarcastically.

"Shit," he breathed softly, before a frown creased his forehead. "What about now. They're going to know you're here."

"I've taken care of that. Temporarily. We have a few moments to talk. I intend to notify Agent Scully about Mulder's whereabouts. I thought it best if you were prepared. She finds out you've been fucking her partner and she's just libel to shoot you on sight. Not that she wouldn't do that anyway."

Fuck! Alex put his head in his hands. "How much time will you give me?"

"Has his memory started to return yet?"

"No," Alex mumbled, "Not yet. Cancerman said it wouldn't start to return for a month, maybe two."

Mr. X's dark eyes glittered in the dim light. "I wouldn't place too much faith on his estimates. They've never wiped someone with an eidetic memory before. His recovery time may be sooner than expected. You may have to act fast. If he recalls his memory before the time they have allowed, their solution may become more permanent. If he recovers too soon...," he let the warning trail off. "They are following a timetable, Krycek, and they mean to keep on schedule."

"What will you tell Scully?"

"Minimal information will be sufficient. She will be given this address. Nothing more."

Alex looked up at the tall black man. "Do you know what he offered me?"

Mr. X studied the former agent. "You are a risk to me, Mr. Krycek. You can act as my agent on the inside or I can kill you where you sit."

Alex found it hard to swallow when his mouth had suddenly become too dry. "I'm... I'm your man." He managed to stutter.

"Don't forget it, Alex." X brought his face close to Alex's. "Or you won't live to regret it. That's a promise."

Alex bobbed his head in agreement.

X withdrew and seemed to fade into the shadows. "You have less than a month, Alex. Enjoy."

Alex sat still. Not even a scrape of a shoe signaled X's departure, the man simply seemed to vanish like smoke. Suddenly he shivered against the chill of the room that was cooling the sweat that covered his body. Shaking, he checked the locks on the door before climbing the stairs.

One detour to his closet, before slipping back into bed with Mulder, allowed him to retrieve his weapon. Slipping the gun under the pillow, he burrowed under the covers and wrapped himself around Mulder's sleep-warm body. Alex lay there a long time, thinking of how fond of Mulder he had grown. The man next to him did not carry the world-weariness or anger that he had come to expect from Fox Mulder, Special Agent for the FBI.

This Fox Mulder was witty, playful. Charming even. Was this how Mulder had been as a child? What he would have been like, had his life not been filled with pain and loss? Alex could feel himself falling for the tall, lanky agent. Mulder's innocence and exuberance had managed to break down Krycek's walls. Walls that he had thought were impenetrable.

He would have to warn Mulder about X. Describe the black man to him and impress him with the need to follow his orders. If it came down to it, it could be the only thing that would save his life.


As soon as X was clear of the ranch, he reached for his phone and dialed a familiar number. When the woman's voice answered on the other end of the line, he spoke quickly. "Agent Scully, I may have information as to the whereabouts of your missing partner. Make no further attempts to locate him until I speak with you again." Quickly he pressed the end key, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Scully looked down at the phone in her hand. The only sound it was making now was a dial tone. "When I get my hands on you, Mulder, I am going to KILL you."


X showed up at the ranch two weeks later to warn Krycek of Scully's impending arrival. Making sure the surveillance was disabled, he searched the house, only to find it empty. Stepping outside to the porch, he heard whistling coming from the barn.

Drawn to the sound, X found Mulder in the barn, brushing down one of the horses after a long morning ride.

Watching Mulder unawares, X was struck by how much he seemed to have changed. His movements were lighter, uninhibited. It was Mulder who was whistling while he worked, his movements smooth and supple beneath the jeans and tee shirt.

Mulder jumped at the sound of footsteps. Spinning around, he saw a tall, black man standing at the entrance to the barn. "Can I help you?" he asked warily.

"I was looking for Alex."

"He won't be home before the afternoon. He's picking up supplies in town. Is there anything I can do for you?" Studying the man, Mulder came to the conclusion that this was the man that Alex had told him to expect. "Listen to him. Follow his orders. He's a friend. He'll protect you. If you don't do as he says, you may get hurt." Alex's warnings echoed in his head.

X was startled by his own body's reaction to Mulder. The images he had seen on the videos of Alex's long cock shuddering in and out of Mulder's body, leaped into his mind.

His own cock hardened at the thought, wanting to feel the insides of Mulder's long legs slide against his hips as he thrust his cock up his tight asshole. Time to turn the table on Special Agent Fox Mulder, X thought to himself. Time to be a pain in HIS ass for a change.

"Yeah, maybe you can," X said, stepping closer to Mulder. Pressing him against the boards separating the stalls, X closed on him, trapping his body between his arms as he leaned in, capturing the full pouting lips in a deep kiss.

Startled, Mulder jerked away, a frown creasing his forehead. X felt him trembling. "Who... who are you?"

"A friend of Alex's. He told me all about you. Told me how sweet you were. Sweet and tasty." X lightly kissed him again, humming deep in his throat with approval. "Umm. Alex was right. You are hot."

Mulder went still under the hands of the other. "Alex told you to come here?"

"Oh, yes. He said you were a great fuck."

Mulder's brow furrowed in a frown. "He said that?" he asked uncertainly.

The black man's hands roamed down his arms and over his chest. "Oh yeah. He said you were learning to give great head but that you fucked like a god. He couldn't remember when he had had such a sweet fuck. Alex likes to share. Told me, I should you try you out for myself."

X leaned in again and kissed him, hard.

Fox allowed himself to be kissed, feeling both betrayed and elated. Alex had talked about him. Bragged about him. He was a GREAT fuck. But he thought what he and Alex had was special. But Alex had told him to trust this man, to follow his orders without question, and Alex wouldn't lie to him. He must have told the black man about the two of them, otherwise how would the man have known? Mulder relaxed, giving himself up to the other man, responding to the lips that pressed against his own, feeling his body respond to the caresses. Alex said it was okay, so it must be all right. He trusted Alex.

Willingly, Mulder let himself be lowered to the floor of the empty stall. He felt the black man pull his shirt out of his pants, then fumble for the buttons, stripping him of his jeans. The fresh hay was scratchy against his naked skin. Mulder watched as X fumbled for his own zipper, sliding the metal teeth apart, drawing out the straining black cock, until it was free. He watched as X stroked the hard erection until it stood upright against his belly. The black man unbuttoned the front of his shirt, but did not attempt to disrobe any further.

He felt X's hands on his shoulder, pushing him onto his back. X lowered himself between Mulder's legs, drawing them up until they rested on his shoulders. Without preamble, the hard shaft made its way up his rectum, slick with pre-cum, seating the crown firmly in place. X leaned forward to capture Mulder's lips, overpowering the younger man with his desire. Kissing him forcefully, he pressed forward until his cock was buried to the root, before X's hips began the age-old pumping action.

Letting Fox's legs drop from his shoulders, they lowered until they wrapped themselves around X's hips. He could feel Mulder's heels as they bounced at the back of his legs, the smooth movement of the inside of Mulder's thighs sliding over his hips. Thrusting harder, he felt his orgasm grip him from his scalp to his toes, flooding Mulder with his sperm. The tightening of Mulder's spincter drew the fluid from his cock, milking him, pulsing again and again until his cream dripped into the fresh straw. He felt Mulder's orgasm spilling his seed between them, soaking both their stomachs. X rested a moment atop Mulder before raising his body and withdrawing his flagging erection.

He leaned forward, and kissed Mulder again, letting his tongue explore the sweet mouth, before he pushed himself up and away. Using the planks of the stall, he got to his feet and, shaking the last of the juice from his cock, he watched as tiny droplets landed inside the stall and on the man lying before him. Wiping himself off with Mulder's discarded tee shirt, he adjusted himself back into his slacks, and straightened up his clothes, rebuttoning his shirt. Looking down, he took a mental snap shot. A freshly fucked Fox, he thought with a laugh. Mulder still lay on the stable floor, legs akimbo, creamy man-juice leaking down the crack his ass, a wide-eyed look on his face.

"Tell Alex he has twenty-four hours."

"Twenty-four hours for what?"

"He'll know." And with that, X turned on his heel and left the barn.

Mulder was left alone to wonder if he hadn't just made the most terrible mistake of his short remembered life.


Dana Scully rushed for the front door. The morning was not going well. Some days should just be canceled. Balancing her purse, jacket and briefcase, she fumbled with her house key. At that moment, her cell phone rang.


Dropping everything onto a nearby table, she dug into her purse, snapping open the phone and pressing it to her ear.

A deep male voice whispered a location in her ear.

X. After two weeks of waiting, the bastard had finally called back, hissing the whereabouts of her missing partner at her.

"Is he okay? Is he hurt?"

There was a strange note that Scully didn't understand in X's voice when he answered. "He's great." Scully wondered at the response until the voice added, "Except he has a complete memory loss and doesn't know who he is."

"My god," breathed Dana. "Is he hurt? Is he safe?"

"The amnesia is temporary. He is safe at his present location, but you must re-acquire your partner as soon as possible." X hung up without another word.

Reaching back into her purse, she scribbled down the address before picking up the phone and dialing Skinner's number.

"Sir, I have a possible location for Mulder."



"I'll have Kim make reservations for two, Scully. I'm coming with you."

Dana smiled. "Thank you, sir."


Chapter 4: Leave-taking

Alex made it home a little before three that afternoon. Reaching into the back seat, he snagged the bags of groceries and hauled them into the house. Kicking the back door shut behind him, he dumped his purchases on the kitchen table before calling out for Fox.

The minute Mulder walked into the kitchen, Alex knew something had changed.

"What's wrong?"

Mulder wouldn't meet his eyes and he was shuffling his feet, watching the floor.

"Mulder... What happened?"

"There was someone here."

Alex's breath caught in his throat. A cold finger of terror laced down his spine. Sharply he asked, "Did they hurt you?"


Alex could sense Mulder holding back. "What? What happened? What did they look like."

"It was a black man. He didn't say who he was. He said it would be okay."

"That what would be okay?"

"Please, Alex, don't be mad at me."

Forcing himself to be calm, Alex said, "Just tell me what happened, Fox." His voice was calm. Deadly calm.

"Please, Alex, I'm sorry." Alex could smell the fear rising in him.

Quietly he said, "Tell me." Each word was distinctly enunciated. "What did he do?"

Ducking his head so he wouldn't have to look into Alex's eyes, Mulder finally said, "I let him make love to me."

Alex's eyes closed. He was going to kill X. The man had balls. Fucking his lover. Here on his own place. Son-of-a-bitch!

Alex opened his eyes to Mulder's frightened countenance. The look in Alex's eyes scared him more. They were cold, dead eyes. All love and laughter forgotten. Mulder shivered as fear built in him like a small fire. And then it changed. Alex frowned at him and closed his eyes in resignation. Opening his arms, wrapping him in a warm embrace, he allowed Mulder to burrow his face into his neck. Kissing away Mulder's fears, he gave himself a mental kick.

Stupid. Stupid. Did you think you could keep him all to yourself? There were plenty of others who would jump at the chance of taking advantage of Mulder as he was now. People that Mulder would have known to steer clear of before. Before. Not now. He was too vulnerable, his amnesia making him an easy target for revenge for past transgressions (real or imagined). Alex should have known. He, himself, had leaped at the opportunity as soon as it had presented itself.

Taking Mulder, in an unguarded moment, as his lover, unprotected by Mulder's natural intelligence and wariness.

Christ! He was as bad as X. Tightening his arms, he rubbed a warm palm up and down Mulder's spine. "Hush, now. Hush. Are you okay?"

Mulder's grip tightened as he nodded. "I'm sorry, Alex. I'm sorry."

"Shhhh. Shhhh. No more of that. It's over. Everything's okay. Did he say anything to you? Did he tell you why he was here?"

"He said to tell you, 'you have twenty-four hours.'"

Alex sighed, resigned. Twenty-four hours. Then Scully would be here. And Mulder would be gone. Gone from his life, forever. His arms gripped tighter, the unexpected pain in his heart was piercing.

Alex released Mulder from his arms and took his hand. Leading him from the kitchen, he led him to the living room sofa and sat down.

"We need to talk. Someone is coming. To take you home."

"But, I am home," Mulder protested.

Alex hugged him. "No. This is not where you belong, as much as I want you to stay. You have a place out there. Another life. That's what that man wanted me to know. He's sending someone to come get you."

Mulder's body stiffened. "Alex... are they... you know, like him? Are they going to want sex with me?"

"No!" Alex hugged him again, reassuring him with soothing hands. "No. It's going to be okay. This person will not harm you. I promise. She's a friend of yours. She'll take care of you."


"Her name is Dana Scully. She's about five-feet-two, with red hair. Real pretty. She won't hurt you, Fox. She's your best friend."

"But what about you, Alex? You're my best friend."

Alex smiled at the appellation. "She'll be here tomorrow. And you'll have to leave with her. I promise you, she'll be good to you."

Alex watched as tears spilled down Mulder's face. "I don't want to go, Alex. I want to stay here. Please don't send me away, Alex. I'll be good, I promise. Just, please, don't send me away."

Krycek felt tears prick at his own eyes and he leaned forward and kissed Mulder's face, wiping tears away with his thumb. "You have to go back, Fox. You have to. There's no choice."

Mulder's tears fell faster. He curled forward and buried his head against Alex's stomach while his body shook with sobs. Alex held him tight, rubbing his back. When the flow of tears finally dried up, he took his lover by the hand and led him upstairs. Their loving that night was solemn and slow, an air of quiet desperation pervading every kiss, every caress. With great concentration, Alex stripped Mulder, then shed his own clothing. Reaching out for his lover, he caressed him with his hands, sliding over everything, everywhere he could reach. He wanted to imprint him onto his memory. The feel of Mulder's skin. The musky smell of him. The way he shuddered when Alex pinched his nipples. The sweet taste of his bare skin.

Gently he pushed his lover back onto the bed, reaching for Mulder's hands, holding them by the wrists and placing them onto his own hardening erection. Mulder's fingers flew over him. Stroking, rubbing, caressing. Alex halted him before he came in his hands and gently pushed against his chest. Mulder lay on his back, spreading his thighs, as Alex crawled between them. Holding each other's eyes, Alex embedded himself inside Mulder's hot flesh. Mulder gave a tiny whimper but never dropped his eyes. They barely blinked as Alex stroked faster. Alex reached again for Mulder's hands, placing his right onto his stiffening rod. His own right hand entwined fingers with Fox's left, both of them luxuriating in the building pressures.

They came simultaneously, Alex deep inside the older man. Afterwards, Fox burst into tears at the thought of leaving Alex. Alex drew him close, kissing each drop of salty water away, stoking and petting him until he quieted. Neither slept, holding each other until the dawn's light illuminated their tired faces.

Finally climbing out of bed, they quietly ate breakfast and did the dishes. When everything was finished and put away, Alex took the older agent in his arms again, kissing him fiercely.

The phone shrilled, shattering the silence.

"They're on their way," the voice on the phone stated. "They're leaving the airport now.

Alex hung up. Looking up, he saw Mulder staring at him. "They're coming."

"I don't want to go."

"Please, Fox. Do this for me. Don't make this harder." He reached out and kissed him tenderly. Pulling away, he took one last look at his lover, savoring each feature in turn.

"I can't be here when they arrive."


"No, it's for the best. I'll be close. I'll be watching, okay?"

"Why can't you be here?"

"A lot of reasons, that I'm not going to go into. I'm going to leave now. You go upstairs and pack your things and then wait for them."

"Can I go for a ride before I have to leave?"

"Not today, Fox. You have to stay close to the house."

"I don't want to go."

"Hush now. Go get ready." With one last kiss, Alex left.

Mulder stared after him, standing a good long while, until with a heavy sigh, he went upstairs and packed his few belongings. He didn't see the tears gleaming in Alex's eyes as he walked out the door.


Chapter 5: Home, Sweet Home

Two hours later, Scully and Skinner arrived. They stepped out of the rented sedan and cautiously approached the front door. They had no idea what to expect in this situation. Scully only prayed that X's information was true. She nearly ached from missing her partner.

Skinner rapped smartly on the front door, which opened immediately. Before them stood Mulder. Hale and healthy. Well, except for the dark circles surrounding red-rimmed eyes.


Dana barely had time to say 'Mulder' before she wrapped him in a ferocious hug. She felt his body stiffen in her arms before relaxing and cautiously putting his arms around her, hesitantly patting her back. They stood for long seconds until Skinner cleared his throat. Drawing away from him, Dana stepped back to take a long hard look at him.

"My god, Mulder, where have you been. You've been missing for over a month."

Fox met her stare, studying her face. Hesitantly he reached up a hand, tracing his fingers along her cheek. "I... I think I remember you." He frowned at the memory. "But I can't... remember your name." Dana's disappointment must have been apparent, for he quickly added, "I'm sorry."

Scully sighed. She still had hopes that Mulder's informant could have been wrong. "My name is Dana Scully. I'm your partner."

At his continued blank stare, she added, "We work for the Federal Bureau of Investigations." Dana stepped back and waved a hand at the bald headed man next to her. "This is our boss, Assistant Director Walter Skinner."

Mulder stuck out his hand. "How do you do, sir?"

Skinner shook it in a firm grasp, almost chuckling at Mulder's formality. "How are you, Agent Mulder," he asked gently, "Can you tell us what happened to you?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't know. I've been staying here with my friend, Alex, but I don't know what happened to me before that?"

Scully seized on the name. "Alex? Alex Krycek?"

Mulder frowned at her. "No. Ben Alexander. Alex for short. He told me you would be coming for me and that I was to leave with you." Mulder stepped away, backing into the living room to retrieved his knapsack.

The two federal agents followed him, checking out the place as they did. They found an old fashioned country home, modestly decorated, with nothing very personal to indicate who the owner was.

"I think we'd better check this out before we leave, Scully."

Dana nodded, opting to stay with Mulder on the ground floor while Skinner went upstairs.

What he found disturbed him. The clothes in the closet, and the shaving kit in the bathroom, indicated the only inhabitant was a male. And there were used condoms in the trash of one bedroom. The other rooms appeared unused. Skinner thought it best to keep this information to himself unless there was a reason to tell Scully. He went downstairs and joined the others. "Anything?"

"Nothing, sir."

Mulder stood by the door, holding his knapsack against his chest while he shifted from foot to foot, looking very much like a kid waiting for his parents to hurry and take him to school.

"Are we going to go now?" he asked softly.

Dana placed a reassuring hand on his forearm. "Yeah. We'll go now."


The return trip was unspectacular. Mulder sat between them, trying to peer past Scully so he could see out the window during takeoff. They questioned him, but it soon became obvious that he remembered nothing and had little to tell them. The only people he had seen was a tall black man (whom Scully suspected was Mr. X) and the mysterious Alex. After getting a description from Mulder, she caught Skinner's eye, confirming her suspicion that he also believed the man to have been Krycek.

Not long into the flight, the drone of the engines, coupled with a sleepless night, had Mulder drifting off to sleep. Dana had been staring sightlessly out the window at the passing clouds when a light snore caught her attention. She turned her head to find Mulder's lanky frame curled up in his seat, snoring against Skinner's chest. Dana had to chuckle to herself, resisting the urge to snicker aloud, as she caught the embarrassed look on her boss' face and heard his resigned sigh.

"I hope he doesn't drool," was Walter's only comment.

Reaching into the seatpocket in front of her, she drew out a small blue blanket and shook it out. Tucking it around her sleeping partner, she gave her boss an understanding look. He responded with a wry grin and a snort before resuming his reading.


"Your place or his, Agent Scully?"

They hadn't really discussed what they were going to do with Mulder. They had no idea how long the amnesia would last and she felt he couldn't be left on his own.

"My place. We'll go to Mulder's tomorrow to see if it jogs his memory."

Skinner nodded and started the car.

Arriving at Dana's, Skinner trailed the couple, carrying the luggage. Dana watched Mulder roam around her apartment, lightly touching knickknacks, bouncing on the couch, opening the refrigerator. Reaching in, he snagged an apple. Holding it in the air, he asked, "Can I have this? I'm hungry."

Dana nodded and watched as he chomped down on it before wandering out of the kitchen so he could check out the bed and bath rooms. She followed him as he bounced on the bed. "Am I gonna sleep here?"

Scully glanced at her boss before answering. "Sure you can."

Mulder bounded to his feet and headed back to the living room. Drawing aside the curtain of the big bay window, he asked, "Do you have horses? Alex had horses. We used to ride almost every day."

"No, sorry. No horses."

"Oh." Mulder appeared chestfallen.

Skinner looked amused. "Agent Scully?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Take a couple of days. If you need more time, just call me."

"Thank you, sir."

"And Dana, if you need anything," Skinner looked over at Mulder, "Anything at all, just ask."

"Thank you, sir." Dana felt warmed by his concern. "Thank you very much. I think I'm going to see if I can schedule him for some tests. See what that turns up. If nothing more happens," she raised a finger to her head, indicating Mulder's memory, "I'll ask my mother to stay with him."

"I'll leave you to it then. Remember, call me. Day or night."

"Again, thank you, sir."


Dana spent the next two days at Mulder's side.

The first day she took him to his apartment. He wandered around, much like he had at her apartment, touching things, opening drawers, peering into corners. His cache of videos made this new Mulder blush and he quickly closed the cabinet door. He found the goldfish fascinating and wanted to know the names of each. Scully shook her head. She wasn't sure any of them had ever lasted long enough to BE named.

Dana, meanwhile, gathered up spare clothing for him. When he commented on the condition of his apartment, she assured him that he had been a 'bit of a slob' ever since she had known him. He questioned her endlessly about their relationship. How long had they known one another. Did she like working with him. Did they ever spend any time together. Had they ever kissed.

Dana blushed at this last question.

At her negative reply, he wanted to know why. After all, he said, he thought she was beautiful. Dana's blush deepened. A little flustered, she avoided his oh-so-direct gaze and patiently explained that they were partners and best friends, but were not romantically involved. She was quietly pleased when he found her answer to be disappointing. Still, she mentally wiped her brow with relief.

The down side of the little visit was that nothing jogged his memory. Not the apartment, not the fish, not the black leather couch, not even his favorite Georgetown Hoyas' sweatshirt.

Bundling him back into the car, she whisked him away to George Washington University Medical Center so they wouldn't be late for their appointment with Doctor Daly.

They spent the afternoon at the hospital while a variety of tests were performed. CAT scans, MRI, and a complete physical were given. Only his bloodwork seemed to give them any clues. From what they could discover, there had been a drug placed in his system, released as time coated capsules. Possibly nueron supressors. Memory supressors. Doctor Daly felt sure that within another two weeks, the entire drug would be cleared from his bloodstream. Sooner if they were lucky.

Scully was relieved. With any luck, her partner would be back to his old self in no time.

They spent the evening with her mother. Dana and Margaret had to grin as Mulder seemed to stuff himself silly. After dinner, Scully sent him outside with the basketball to shoot hoops while she helped her mother with the dishes.

"Dana..." her mother hesitated.

"What is it, mom?"

"Do you realize that you can't seem to stop touching him since you've been here?"

Dana looked up, startled, almost dropping the soapy plate she held in her hands. "I... I just want to make sure he feels safe, mom."

Her mother gave her a penetrating stare before reaching out and laying a hand on her forearm. "Is that all, Dana?"

Scully stared at the soapy bubbles hiding her hands. "God, mom, I missed him so much," she confessed. "He was gone so long I thought I had lost him for good this time."

Her mother's hand rubbed between her shoulder blades as she gave her a hug. "So it's more like you're touching him to just reassure YOURSELF that he's really back."

Dana grinned and blushed faintly. "Yeah. I guess that's it. He's so different. So..."


Dana's smile widened. "That's part of it. He just seems to give me such intense looks. Before, when he was himself, he used to give me the same kind of looks, but he always seemed to drop his eyes when I looked back. Now... now..." Dana was at a loss as to how to explain. How could she explain how his unwavering gaze set small fires in her belly, how his innocence made her want to protect him, how his constant touches made her want to throw him to the floor and cover him with her own body. The thought made her blush again and then deeper yet as she realized that she was still under her mother's scrutiny.

Her mother smiled gently at her. "He was special before. Now he's even more special."

Dana didn't get a chance to respond before the door burst inward and a sweaty Mulder bounded into the kitchen.

"Hey, Dana," he said with enthusiasm, "Want to come out and play basketball with me?"

Margaret and Dana exchanged grins as her mother shooed her out the door, releasing her from her kitchen chores.

Margaret watched out the kitchen window as Dana's tomboy nature reasserted itself and she did her best to give Mulder a run for his money.

Margaret laughed aloud as she watched her daughter feint to the left before ducking around Mulder's right, soaring upwards to cleanly sink the ball in the basket. A second later, Mulder grabbed her around the waist and they tumbled to the ground, laughing and rolling in the grass. The worry lines had disappeared from her daughter's face, replaced by laugh lines as Mulder tickled her relentlessly.

She turned away to put on a pot for tea when once again the door burst open to allow the two laughing agents to enter, still flushed, their hair carrying traces of green, grass blades.

"Mom, tell Fox to stop tickling me!" Dana cried.

Margaret Scully grinned and with mock sternness scolded Mulder, "Now behave yourself, Fox, or no desert for you."

Mulder grinned, unrepentant. "She made me do it, Mrs. Scully."

"You two go get cleaned up while I cut the cake."

They threw her a salute before heading into the bathroom. Margaret got down the cake, listening all the while to peals of laughter and the sound of splashing water. "You'd better not be making a mess in there," she scolded in her best 'mother' voice.

She heard Dana's voice call back, "Don't worry, mom, Mulder will clean it up." This was followed by another squeal of laughter as Mulder splashed her again.

Margaret just shook her head. She was happy for her daughter that Fox was back. Having him missing for so long had really put too much of a strain on her youngest girl.


Chapter 6: Reinstatement

Flashes of memory strobed behind Mulder's eyelids. They skimmed his conscious mind, playing tag with his active memory. He jerked in his sleep, trying to force a single memory into focus. It eluded his grasp, leaving familiar traces in its wake like the scent of a woman's perfume, long after she has left the room.


Late that night, Dana found herself standing at the door to her bedroom watching Mulder sleep, listening to his quiet snores. She smiled at the memory of the time they had spent at her mothers. It wasn't often they got to feel so carefree. Damn, she had missed the man!

She didn't want to confess to her mother how hurt she was that he hadn't instantly remembered her and everything that was between them. Right now she was just grateful to the powers-that-be that he had been returned. She heard him snuffle in his sleep, then watched as he curled up on his side. Turning away from the door, she made her way back to the couch. Tomorrow was going to be a long day and she had best be prepared for it.

The next day they headed out to the Hoover building. Again Mulder walked around, inquisitively getting into everything, touching objects, grimacing at some of the more grizzly photos adorning the walls of his office.

And again, nothing seemed to jog his memory.

His entrance and exit did not go unnoticed. Several agents called out greetings. He even got a quick hug from an elderly secretary down in research. Scully made a point of stopping by Skinner's office, but had to drag Mulder back out when he began to wander around the AD's office and Skinner began to shoot her pointed looks as if she had just let her child play, unsupervised, in his office.

He spent the afternoon teasing her by calling her 'Agent Scully.' She briefly wondered if soon he would be asking for her 'medical opinion.' She could only hope.

They stopped by the Jefferson Memorial and their favorite bench by the Tidal Basin, but nothing came back. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

They spent a quiet evening watching old sci-fi movies and eating pizza. Dana could almost believe nothing had changed. All they needed now were crappy hotel rooms.

Before going to bed, Mulder asked when he was going to be sleeping at his own apartment. He had not missed the way she had moved so stiffly in the morning. The couch was obviously not her mattress of choice.

"How about we try it tomorrow?"

"Okay," Mulder agreed before heading into the bedroom. He was starting to chaff under the constant attention. Not that he minded Dana. Not at all. He really liked her. But he didn't like to feel like he was being watched all the time.

Dana's night was restless. She woke up groggy and irritable when the phone screamed the next morning at 7am.

They were calling her in to do an autopsy. Quickly calling her mother, she arranged for her to stay with Mulder for the day. Her mother didn't seem to mind in the least and arrived less than an hour later.

She didn't finish with work until late that day. She and Mulder had a quiet dinner with her mother and then she drove him back to his place. A little apprehensive, she settled him into his rooms then made her way out to her car, pausing briefly at the door, uncertain if she should really leave him on his own. She considered staking out Mulder's apartment for the night, but finally dismissed the idea. He had her phone number and if he needed her, he would call.


Krycek looked around Mulder's darkened apartment. This was the first night that Scully had allowed Mulder to stay at his apartment alone.

He slipped into the bedroom, the lump on the bed reassuring him that Mulder was there. He crept closer, squatting beside the bed, reaching out a hand to touch the sleeping form. Mulder stirred, muttering in his sleep. Alex stroked his soft hair, quietly calling his name. Mulder blinked sleepily, focusing on the man beside his bed. "Alex?"

"Yeah, it's me."

Alex stood, shedding his clothes before slipping into the warm bed with his lover. Mulder snuggled against him, wrapping an arm around Alex's waist and throwing a leg over his thighs. Alex's arms gathered the sleep-warm body tight against him.

"I missed you, Alex," the sleepy voice said in the dark.

"I missed you, too."

"Are you going to take me home now?"

Alex kissed Mulder's forehead at the hairline. "You are home, silly," he chided him.

"No. Not here. I mean back at the ranch. I want to go home. With you."

"Don't you like it here?"

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too, but don't you like Scully?"

"She's nice," Mulder managed around a yawn, "But I miss being with you." Mulder yawned again and snuggled closer.

"She's been good to you, hasn't she?"

"Yeah. She's real nice. I think she likes me. She even took me to visit her mom. She's real nice, too. Do you think Dana likes me? You know, like you do? Do you think she'd be mad if I kissed her?"

Krycek bit his lip to keep from laughing, even as a little piece of his heart broke off. Such an innocent question. Such enormous ramifications. 'I'm losing him,' he thought with a touch of desperation. 'To Scully. Oh god, you have really have gone off the deep end, Alex. Get a hold of yourself,' he told himself sternly, 'At best he was only on loan to you. Be grateful for the time you had.'

But he couldn't be grateful, not if it meant that he would never get to see Fox again. See him, hold him, make love to him. Finally he answered as honestly as he could. "I don't know, Fox. Have you tried?"

"No." Fox's voice was faint. "I thought she might hit me. She told me we had never been romantic, but she's awfully pretty."

"Yes, she is." Alex had to agree to that.

"Are you going to stay, Alex? For good?"

'For good, for bad... forever,' Alex thought with a sigh. "I'll stay till morning," he promised.

Mulder yawned again and rested his head in the hollow of Alex's shoulder. "Good."

Alex kissed his forehead again. Mulder seemed a little too warm to him. "Did Scully say if you were running a fever?"

"The doctor says my system is fighting the last of the drugs like a virus. Throwing it off as waste product."

"Ah. That would explain why I got such a sleepy reception."

"Sorry, Alex," Mulder murmured, grazing his cheek with a kiss before laying his head down again and drifting off to sleep.

"No problem," Alex reassured him, holding him close and falling to sleep himself.


Alex awoke at dawn the next morning. Kissing the still sleeping Mulder, he dressed quickly and left the apartment. Across the street, two Consortium agents watched his exit from the building from a parked car. One of them picked up his cellular and made a quick call.

"He's just leaving now, sir."

The voice on the other end relayed new instructions. The man closed the phone and nodded to his partner. They both exited the car and caught up to Alex. Startled, he attempted to move away but they latched onto his arms and drew him back to the waiting vehicle.

"The boss wants to see you."

Alex quietly slid into the back seat, cursing his luck. Twenty minutes later he was standing at the end of a large conference table. Two guards stood behind him, watching at the single exit door. The room was foggy with the lingering smell of stale cigarette smoke.

At the other end of the table the old man sat, creating more fog with the exhalation of another puff. He let Alex stew for a few minutes until the former agent began to fidget. When he finally spoke, he kept his voice low, so Alex was forced to lean forward as he strained to hear the raspy voice.

"You were given no instructions to contact Agent Mulder once he returned to Washington, Mr. Krycek."

Alex made no reply, simply swallowed nervously.

The smoking man ignored his rectitude and continued. "Has he regained any of his memories yet?"

"No. I don't believe so."

Cancerman stood and motioned for the guards to exit the room. Moments later he and Alex were alone.

Cancerman moved to the nearby credenza and retrieved a large remote control device. "Your duties in respect to Agent Mulder may not be over yet, Alex. We still need to keep abreast of his returning memory." Returning to his seat, he motioned for Alex to join him at the other end of the conference table.

Warily Alex picked out a chair and sat. The old man pushed a few buttons and a movie-house sized video screen dropped down from the ceiling. Another button dimmed the lights in the room. And yet another started a video feed.

Alex blinked as pictures rolled by on the screen. Movies of him and Mulder. Having sex. In bed. In the shower. All over the little farmhouse.

"Have you accomplished your mission, Alex?" the raspy voice came out of the dimness.

Alex turned to look at the smoking man. "We won't know that until his memory returns, right?"

Cancerman blew another puff of carcinogenic smoke at him.

"You were not told to come to Washington."

Alex swallowed and stayed silent.

"How did he seem?"

"He said he wants to go home?"

The older man snorted at this. "And just where does he think home is these days?"

Alex gestured toward the moving cinematic figures. "Back at the ranch. With me."

"Ah. So he misses you."

"That's what he said."

"Are you prepared to return to us, Alex."

Alex squirmed nervously. "What do I have to do?"

Cancerman looked pointedly at the video screen and then back at Alex.

Video-Alex was deep throating Video-Mulder while the other man leaned back against the shower stall.

"Nothing you haven't done before, Alex." Cancerman stubbed out the half-smoked cigarette while giving Alex an intense look.

Alex glanced up at the moving images again before getting up out of his seat and kneeling before the old man.

Cancerman leaned forward, lightly placing a palm against Alex's cheek, guiding him forward until his lips brushed against the younger man's. Alex closed his eyes, letting his lips part, feeling a tongue trace over his lips before entering his mouth. The old man tasted of ashes and bourbon and Alex was suprised at the tenderness the kiss conveyed. Cancerman withdrew, studying the younger man, then reached down for his zipper.

The two sets of eyes met before Alex reached out a hand and brushed the other's hand aside, so that he guided the steel teeth out of the way. Then both his hands reached for the belt, undoing the fastening and opening the slacks until the hardening cock was free. Not giving himself time to think, Alex went down on it. He felt a gentle hand caress the back of his head and heard a gentle voice say, "Welcome back to the fold, Alex."


End Chapter 6.


Chapter 7: Revelations

Dana awoke to the jangle of the telephone. Leaping out of bed, she dashed to the instrument. "Mulder?" she said breathlessly.

There was quiet on the other end then a determined voice said, "Agent Scully, this is Assistant Director Skinner."

"Yes, sir?"

"I wanted to warn you that Alex Krycek was spotted in DC this morning. Do you know the whereabouts of Agent Mulder? I take it you thought it was him calling."

"I let him sleep at home last night, sir."

"Do you think that was wise, Agent Scully? Do you think he's ready for that?"

"He was quite insistent, sir."

"Do you think he and Krycek planned to meet before we left Colorado?"

"It's possible." Dana hesitated before plunging on. "But I got the impression he was just tired of being hovered over. I'm afraid I may have been a little bit... overprotective, sir."

"Do you think Agent Mulder is in any danger from Krycek?"

"I don't know. If what we suspect is true, then Krycek was taking care of Mulder in Colorado, then I don't see any reason why he should wait until he's back in DC to endanger him in any way."

Skinner harrumped his agreement before remembering what he had found in the farmhouse and what he suspected happened between the two men. "Do you think we should place Mulder in protective custody?"

"I don't think that will be necessary, sir. I'll keep an eye on Mulder's place tonight. I'll call for backup if I need it, sir."

"Just be careful, Scully."

"I will, sir. Thank you, sir."


Dana quickly showered and changed into casual wear. Snatching up her keys, she drove through the heavy early-morning traffic, cursing slow drivers under her breath. When she reached Mulder's apartment building, she jumped out of the car, making an inspection of the area. She didn't notice anything unusual, no watchers as far as she could tell, and moments later found herself pounding on Mulder's door, almost shaking the brass four and two from their nails.

After a few minutes of impatient waiting, she drew out her key and unlocked the door. "Mulder?" Silence. No one on the couch, she noted. "Mulder?" she called louder.

She heard a muffled voice from the bedroom. Drawing her weapon, she crept to the doorway. "Mulder?" she queried softly.

"Dana?" answered a sleepy voice.

Scully entered the room, blinking at the darkened interior. "Mulder, are you okay?"

"Yeah," he answered curiously. "What's wrong?"

Her eyes finally adjusted to the dim light and there sat Mulder, blinking sleepily, hair all askew, blankets pulling away as he sat up.

"You didn't answer the door."

"I was asleep," he rose up unsteadily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Dana drank in the sight of him, chiding herself for it even as she wondered what it would feel like next to his lean body, still warm from sleep. 'Behave yourself, girl,' she mentally scolded herself. She re-holstered her weapon, letting the light jacket fall back into place covering it. "I was worried." She couldn't take her eyes off of him.

Mulder gave a bone cracking stretch. "I'm okay."

'Stop staring, girl.' "I just thought we'd go out to breakfast. Are you hungry?"

Mulder yawned as he passed her. She caught a whiff of his musky scent and had to restrain fingers that suddenly seemed to want to dance over his ribcage of their own volition.

"Yeah. Breakfast would be great! Do I have time for a shower?"

'Only if I get to scrub your back. And front,' Dana's traitorous mind supplied. "Uhmm... sure," she answered casually.

Mulder leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Morning," he said shyly, hazel eyes looking at her from under long lashes.

Dana's hand flew to the spot on her cheek, before she flushed, the blush covering her from her head to her toes. "Uhmm. M...morning," she managed to stutter out.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, no... That's... that's o-kay." Dana tried to remember how to breathe.

Mulder watched as she blushed deeper, thinking how pretty she was.

"I'll just be a couple of minutes, okay?"


Mulder watched as she turned away, walking unsteadily back into the living room. He felt himself grin. 'Well, I guess she wouldn't deck me if I kissed her,' he thought to himself, smiling wider as he got into the shower.

Fifteen minutes later, he was cleaned and dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. Entering the living room, he found Dana on the couch, staring off into space. Waving a hand in front of her face, he asked, "Hey, are you ready to go?"

Dana jumped, startled. "Yeah. Yeah." She tried her best to keep her voice steady.

Mulder grinned at her and she felt the world tilt before it righted itself again.

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting at Mulder's favorite cafe. Not that he remembered that small fact. The waitress flirted outrageously with him and Mulder felt himself blushing more than once.

"Do you remember anything, yet?"

"No. Do I get to wear a gun, like you?"

Dana chuckled. "Not yet. You'll probably have to re-qualify at the shooting range before they give you back your weapon."

"Can I practice?"

"Maybe we can do that later today. Are you feeling okay? Doctor Daly said you might be running a fever because of the medication you had been given."

"I was last night. Alex said..." He stopped abruptly. Oops!

"Alex was there last night?" she asked sharply.

Busted! Mulder froze like a deer in headlights. "Ahhh... No."

Dana bit her lip to keep from grinning. He really was a BAD liar. "Mulder, you have to tell me. Did you see Alex last night?"

"Well, I... uhmmm..." Mulder squirmed in his seat.

"Mulder, please be honest with me. I have to know the truth. I won't be mad."

Mulder frowned. "I don't think anyone was supposed to know."

"But he came to your apartment."

Mulder hung his head. "Yeah," he said quietly.

"Did he hurt you?" she asked, equally soft.

Mulder looked up in surprise and gave her a penetrating stare. "Alex would never hurt me," he stated firmly.

Dana studied the sincere face before she nodded. "It's okay. I just needed to know. Why don't we finish up here and then head out for the firing range?


They were quiet as they drove to the Hoover building. As they checked in, Scully pulled the security guard aside and asked him to ask AD Skinner if he could join them at the range.

Scully showed Mulder how the gun worked and how to reload before giving him all the safety rules. She finally released the borrowed weapon into his hands and watched him practice.

For all his memory loss, he still had a knack for guns. Well... about as well as he ever did. His scores were just slightly lower than he had gotten on his last qualification round.

Dana glanced up as the door opened and Walter Skinner walked in. Leaving Mulder in the hands of the range supervisor, she motioned Skinner to step out with her.

"What is it, Agent Scully? Do you need more time off?"

"It isn't that, sir. It's Krycek. Mulder let it slip that 'Alex' had come to see him last night."

She watched as the stern face frowned. Then she saw him glance through the window at Mulder. "Scully, there's something I haven't shared with you."

"What's that, sir? Dana cocked her head at him.

"There may be another reason why Krycek is here. One that you may not be aware of. When we were in the farmhouse..." Skinner's voice dropped off, unsure of how to tell her.

"What is it, sir?"

"There was evidence of... Krycek may have been having sex with Mulder."


"I found used condoms in one of the trash cans upstairs. Recently used. No sign of a woman on the premises and only one bed had been slept in.

Scully's face was horrified. "You think that Krycek RAPED Mulder?"

"Scully, please keep your voice down! I don't know. Mulder has made no mention of any sexual molestation, has he?"

"No. No, he hasn't. And he speaks fondly of 'Alex,' as we both know."

Skinner chewed his lip, "It's possible that Krycek seduced him. We know he has lost his memory. And we KNOW Krycek. The little rat would be quick to take any advantage he could, especially over Mulder."

Oh, my god. Mulder.

Skinner saw the stricken look on her face. He reached out and patted her shoulder. "Are you okay, Scully?"

"I'm fine, sir."

Skinner withdrew his hand and glanced through the window again. "He must be laughing his ass off at us right about now."

"He'll be laughing out the other side of his face if I get my hands on him," she said hotly.

Skinner touched her arm. "Just be careful, Scully. I don't want to see either of you getting hurt."

"I will, sir. Thank you."

Skinner glanced through the window one more time. "And take care of him."

"Yes, sir."


Dana opened the thermos again and poured herself another cup of coffee. It was going to be a long night! God she hated stakeouts! And without Mulder's easy banter and comfortable presence, it was almost unendurable. Dana took another sip of the hot liquid and then leaned back against the headrest, trying to decide what she was going to do to Alex if she got her hands on him. Slow torture or quick but painful death. What to do, oh, what to do!

Somewhere around 9pm she saw Mulder's lights snap off. There was no sign of Alex and everything had been quiet since.


Alex slipped around the corner of Mulder's apartment building, knowing in his heart that he shouldn't be here.

He had spotted Scully an hour ago, sitting in her car, consuming cup after cup of coffee. With a smile he left her to her caffeinated watch and slipped up the back entrance to number 42.

Moments later, he was in Mulder's bedroom, slipping out of his clothes again.

Mulder woke up with a little jerk as he crawled under the covers. "Alex?"

"You were expecting someone else?"

Fox snuggled into his arms and leaned up for a kiss. "Missed you."

"Missed you, too." Alex held Mulder's chin firmly in one hand as he gave him a soul shuddering kiss. Mulder's body slowly melted into Alex's arms until he was limp. When Alex released him, all he could do was to sigh, "Damn, Alex."

Alex grinned and worked his way down the throat, leaving small hickeys on his jawline, his throat, and his collarbone. His fingers left faint red scratches over Mulder's nipples, teasing and caressing them with the same motion. Alex followed a meandering trail down his chest, coming to rest in the tuft of curls at Fox's groin.

Alex wanted Fox in his mouth. Wanted to feel Mulder's release down his throat. Wanted nothing more than to erase the memory and taste of Cancerman's cock in his mouth.

Images of the video played in his mind. The Fox and the Rat. Alex swallowed deep and Mulder groaned. Alex slipped one finger into the crease of Mulder's ass, adding pressure to the tight hole there. Mulder's hips jerked and he suddenly exploded into Alex's mouth, too much to contain. Cum dripped out, smearing own Mulder's own taut belly as he struggled to catch his breath. Alex smeared the gooey mess with his fingers, then put them in his mouth to suck off the excess. He rose up until he had Mulder in his arms again, kissing him, sharing the taste of him. Mulder could feel Alex's cock press against his thigh as Alex lay down on him. He reached out to touch the hardening rod, but Alex stopped him.


"No. This one's for you. I can't stay tonight. Go to sleep, I just want to hold you for a little while."

He lay back in Alex's arms with a sigh. Alex lay in the dark, feeling safe, as if the world had finally gotten back on its correct rotation through the stars. Alex knew he couldn't stay. Knew that if Scully had any indication that he was here, he would have a gun in his face in no time.

Scully. She waited downstairs, unaware that he had just had her partner's cock +down his throat. If she ever found out... If she ever found out... Well, why the hell not! Maybe it was time for a little role-playing game. Time to be the Big Bad Gangster. To play the complete asshole that they all thought he was. Maybe it was time to visit Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully downstairs.


 Chapter 8: Stakeout

Dana stared out the windshield, watching the hazy moon. It was full tonight, its bright light blinding out the stars behind it. The rest of the sky was an inky blue. She glanced up at Mulder's apartment again. Still no lights. Not even a flickering blue from a television screen. She took another sip of coffee then replaced the mug on the dashboard. It was going to be a VERY long night.


Krycek had known that Agent Scully was parked outside in her car, trying to keep a protective eye on her partner. He had thoroughly checked the area before he had entered the apartment. He wondered briefly what she would say if she could see him with Mulder.

Thinking of the little redhead made his cock lift in anticipation. Why not? Scully and Mulder in one night. It would definitely be proof for the Cancerman that Mulder and Scully could be distracted.

They had kept a close enough eye on these two to know they had never slept together. Krycek glanced over at the sleeping form of Mulder. Both of them in one night! Maybe it was too much to hope for. Still, the thought of both of them doing her brought a grin to his face. His penis pulsed with the image in his mind.

Quickly Alex got dressed again. Donning his black pants, tee and leather jacket, he let himself out the front door. He pulled his boots on in the hallway. Moving quietly to the street outside, he quickly spotted Scully keeping watch on Mulder's apartment building.

He pulled his gun and silently crept up to the car. He opened the driver's door and even as Scully jumped, he put the gun against her temple.

"Don't move until I tell you, Scully."

Scully froze; her eyes round with shock.

"Hand me your weapon."

Scully gingerly reached for her weapon, passing it over to Alex, butt first. He placed it into the holster at his belt.

"What do you want, Krycek?"

Instead of answering, Alex backed away from the car, pulling her out of it by her arm. The gun never left her head.

"Shut the door, Scully."

She reached out a hand and did, as Krycek slid an arm around her throat. He pulled her close to his body and pushed her against the trunk of the car. His lips were inches from her ear.

"You wouldn't have another weapon, would you, Scully?"

His hand traveled down her chest, squeezing her breast roughly, then traveled lower. Scully jerked away from the hand as it slid between her legs, but Alex pressed his body against hers, squeezing her between himself and the car. The barrel of the gun was at her throat, Alex whispering into her ear.

"You should see him, Scully. He didn't remember who I was. So I took him to bed."

Scully froze, her head turned slightly toward his voice.

"He was sweet, Scully. I convinced him to let me fuck him."

Alex's hand was moving again, over her belly, squeezing her breast again.

"It wasn't all that difficult. Though I don't think he'd done it before," he continued.

Scully was shocked. 'NOOOOO,' she thought. 'MULDER!' the voice in her head cried in anguish.

"You didn't," Scully whispered.

Alex smiled and nuzzled her neck. "Yes. Yes. I. Did. You should have been there, Scully. I know you want him. You should see him. So innocent. So open. I came to get you, so you could join us, Scully," he said.

"No," she barely whispered, her eyes closed.

Alex moved his hand under her jaw, forcing her head back until it rested on his shoulder. His tongue flicked out and touched the shell of her ear.

She shivered and tried to pull away.

"Don't make me kill him, Dana," Alex said as his lips brushed her throat.

Scully drew her breath in sharply. "No," she whispered again.

"Don't you want him, Scully. Haven't you dreamed of fucking him." He lowered his hand to her breast again, slipping it inside her shirt as he played with the nipple.

"Please, Alex," she pleaded.

Krycek ground his pelvis into her butt. She could feel his manhood pressing into her through the cloth.

"I want to see you fuck him, Scully. I want to see you suck his cock." He pressed himself into her again, squeezing her nipple between thumb and forefinger as he did.

"You choose, Scully. Do WE have sex with Mulder or should I just go back up there and shoot him."

The sensations were nearly overwhelming her but Dana knew he meant what he said. He would kill Mulder. "Don't hurt him. Please, don't hurt him."

A satisfied grin spread across his face. He pulled away from her toward the building. The gun in the small of her back propelled her into the apartment. No television played and the only light was what spilled into the darkened apartment from the hallway and windows. The room grew very dark as Alex closed the door and it took both of them a minute for their eyes to adjust to the room.

"Take off you clothes, Scully," Alex said, kicking off his boots.

Scully removed her blouse. Her breasts bounced freely once she had removed her bra.

Behind her, Alex was quickly undressing. He didn't let go of the gun but kept it trained on her back.

Once again he was naked in the apartment. Watching Scully as she slipped off her pants, he appreciated her petite form. He saw her look at him over her shoulder and he moved up behind her, snaking a hand around her waist. He pressed the gun to her side as he whispered in her ear. "Not going to change your mind are you?"

Dana stiffened at the touch of cold steel. She glanced at Alex, considering, then with a firm resolve, she answered in a sultry voice, "Are you going to shoot me or fuck me?"

Alex grinned. He pushed her forward into the bedroom. Unseen by Dana he left the gun on the dresser beside the door.

If anything, the bedroom was even darker. The dim glow from a red street sign below blinked off and on. Scully could see Mulder now, sprawled over two-thirds of the bed. He was out like a light. Again she felt Alex's hands move over her body. She felt him pressing up behind her, as he squeezed her breast.

"I want to see you go down on him, Scully," he whispered.

His hand moved over her belly, then down to her crotch. His large hand covered her mound, then slid between her legs.

She let her breath out with a gasp. Alex's hand rubbed deeper, dipping into her wetness. His other hand pressed against her shoulder, bending her in half. She placed her palms against the bed and walked them to Mulder. Behind her she felt Alex pressing her head toward Mulder's groin.

"Lick him," she heard his hushed commands.

Dana touched her lips to Mulder's abdomen, her tongue slipping between her teeth to lick him. Instantly, she tasted the semen that still lay there. She almost pulled away but Alex's hand had slipped into her from behind, manually manipulating her. Again she felt her head pressed from behind as Alex noted her hesitation. "DO IT," he hissed.

Dana kissed Mulder's belly again. Her lips tingled with excitement. To be with Mulder was something she had secretly dreamed about. She could smell the odor of sex on him. Again her tongue tasted the semen but this time she licked at it eagerly. Her mouth traveled down to the dark hair that covered his groin, cleaning him, washing him with her tongue. His penis lay against the dark tangle until her tongue flicked out and touched it. She watched it pulse as it began to fill with blood. She brought a knee up on the bed, brought her head closer to Mulder's cock. She flicked out her tongue and let it travel the length of Mulder's manhood. Above her she heard a groan from Mulder. She looked up to see a glittery reflection from his slitted eyes as he looked at her.

She watched him as she moved up the bed, Alex all but forgotten behind her. She traced a line with her tongue over his lower belly, up to his chest. She could make out the look of consternation on his face, his eyes widening as he recognized her.

"Agent Scully?" he whispered in shock and confusion.

Dana moved up to cover his body with hers. She straddled his body, and straightened her elbows, looking down at his face through the tumble of her hair. "Mulder," she whispered.

Fox felt a jolt of desire shoot through him when she said his name. His hands reached up hesitantly to her sides.

They both felt the bed jostle as Alex climbed on. Mulder glanced at the other man with a slight frown, finding it almost impossible to tear his eyes away from the red-haired vision leaning over him.

"Alex?" he whispered in a small voice.

"I brought you something special, Mulder," Alex whispered back. He slid a hand between them and stroked Mulder's cock which hardened at his touch.

Dana peered down between them, past her stomach to see what Alex was doing. She swallowed hard, then look again to Mulder's face. His eyes had closed, but he opened them again as she leaned in for a kiss. Her auburn hair brushed against his face as she eagerly took possession of his lips. Alex wasn't the only one who could get his attention. She opened his lips with her tongue, slipping it between his teeth, tasting him, filling him with her desire. Abruptly she felt his tongue plunge into her mouth. His hands moved up to cup the back of her head, holding her to him. She sucked eagerly on his tongue, feeling it dart about her mouth. One moment filling her mouth, the next tickling her palate, slipping over her teeth, sliding out to suck at her lower lip.

She could feel Alex at her again. She lowered her chest to press against Mulder's, her nipples crushing themselves against him. Her back arched, her butt rising in the air as Alex slipped his fingers into her slick hole.

Alex lifted her hair and kissed her neck, trailing his tongue down her spine to her ass. She jerked in startled surprise as he spread her buns and slicked his tongue over her back entrance.

Below her she could feel Mulder tremble with her touch. She left his mouth, raining kisses over his cheeks, forehead, over both eyes. She wanted to suck him into her. She flicked her tongue over his ear, nuzzling his neck, almost heady with the scent of him.

Her body jumped again as Alex's tongue delved deeper, but he held her firmly so as not to lose the taste of her. She was moaning now. Dana placed her hand over Murder's and guided him to her breast. Eagerly his hands kneaded them, bringing a gasp to her lips.

Dana felt Mulder's hardness raise to brush at her mound. She moaned with delight. His hips bucked, his cock stabbing at her soft belly. His hands slid back up to either sides of her head, his hands in her hair, holding it away from her face. Her mouth formed a small 'O' as she groaned again. He brought her lips down to his, his hands cupping her small ears. His tongue slicked over her full lips as she opened them to flick out her tongue to touch his. Her hand grazed down his chest and slid between them as she felt her way to his hard cock. Her lips never left his as she finally grasp it in her small fingers.

She felt another hand cover hers as Krycek guided Mulder into her. She gasped into Mulder's mouth as he entered her, his largeness stretching her, filling her. Mulder felt Alex's hand slid past their joining and cup his ballsac, briefly, before continuing down his thigh. Mulder's body shuddered with pleasure. Alex positioned himself behind Dana, slipping a condom over his hardened cock. He spread her luscious mounds apart, slipping his length between them, applying generous amounts of lubricant. He rubbed himself over her crack, as she groaned below him. He took his penis in his hand and guided the head to her rear entrance. Dana jumped at the pressure at her anus but schooled herself to relax. Slowly Alex forced his way into her. Dana cried out, as pain became pleasure. Her body felt stuffed, Mulder's largeness stretching her in the front and Alex penetrating her in the rear.

Inside of her, their cocks fought for attention, separated from each other by a thin membrane. Alex held her by her hips as he pounded his way into her body, jolting her when his groin slapped against her ass. Her tightness held him out then closely grasped him as he ground his way into her.

Finally, with a wave of ecstasy, he flooded her insides, until it coated her other joining. Dana's head was pressed into Mulder's neck as both men used her. Above him, Mulder could see Alex's face, frowning in concentration, then relax as he came. Alex collapsed over Scully's back, his cock slowly slipping out of her tightness. He moved off her and lay beside Mulder. Dana stirred, raising her auburn head to stare at Krycek.

His lips thinned in a satisfied grin before he elbowed himself up. He slid an arm around Dana and leaned down to kiss Mulder's mouth. Dana watched as Fox's eyes closed in pleasure, his hips still shoving his cock into her. Alex's tongue plunged in, forcing his way, deepening the kiss until Mulder was nearly breathless, then just as suddenly, releasing him. Mulder's eyes blinked open, watching Alex. Alex grinned down at him before pushing at Dana.

"Roll over." His voice was low and sexy as he spoke to both of them. As one, without losing contact with each other, they managed to roll over. Alex kissed them both deeply again, his hands roaming over both of them. Dana moved her legs apart, wrapping them around Fox as he positioned himself deeper into her. "Fuck her, Mulder," Alex whispered in Fox's ear.

Mulder did as he was told and before long Dana was biting her lip to keep from screaming. She forgot Alex in the room; she forgot how she had gotten here. All that mattered was this man above her, whom she finally admitted she loved, touching her soul, her very being.

She came dizzyingly, almost passing out. When she became aware of her surroundings again she realized Mulder had stopped, but was still hard inside her. The bed moved again and Alex moved into her view behind Mulder. She saw Fox's eyes squeeze shut in pain as Krycek spread his ass cheeks and pressed his way in. Alex was still slick from Dana as he pushed at the tight orifice; Mulder moaning until Alex was in to the hilt. Then Alex moved in and out slowly, the sphincter stretched tight over his organ. Mulder slid deeper into Dana, moving to the rhythm that Alex set. Dana felt hands on her ankles, lifting them beside Mulder's hips, then higher. Alex's hands stretched her apart as Mulder buried himself in her. She moaned with pleasure as Alex hooked his elbows under her knees and started to slam his hips into Mulder's backside. Scully watched as Krycek grabbed a handful of Mulder's hair and stretched his neck back, raining kisses down his throat, taking Fox's ear in his mouth, turning Mulder's head so he could kiss his lips. She came again in blinding flashes and moments later Fox flooded her with his passion as he collapsed upon her. The only movement on the bed was Alex as he finally spasmed out his ecstasy into the other man.

Dana grunted under the weight of both men, but a moment later Alex had stretched out beside her, discarding the used condom. Gently he pushed Mulder to the other side of her as she sighed in relief. Krycek watched her in the near darkness as she let Mulder rest his head on her shoulder. Their bodies glistened in the dim light with the sweat from their mutual exertions. Dana curled her arm around Mulder's head, holding him to her shoulder, fingers playing in his dark brown locks. She looked down at him, his eyes closed sleepily. Gently she touched her lips to his forehead, noting the sleepy grin she elicited in response. On her left side Krycek had rested his head on his crooked arm. This was better than he could have believed possible. He reached out a hand and kneaded Dana's breast, drawing her attention to him. Slowly he slid his hand over her belly until it parted the short curly red hair. Dana moved nothing but her eyes as she watched him. Alex slid his hand between her legs and gently rubbed at her wetness. Dana's breath quickened. He continued to stroke her until she unconsciously spread her legs, allowing him easier access. Before she was aware of what he was doing he rolled himself between her legs and plunged himself into her body. Dana gasped with the suddenness of it, loud enough for Mulder to open his eyes. He stared up at Alex, then over at Scully. He frowned as he saw the look on her face, somewhere between surprise, outrage and ecstasy.

Something wasn't right, but again his mind failed to give him the answers. Almost before he could react, Alex had come again, flooding her already damp hole. Roughly Alex leaned down and kissed her deeply before rolling off her with an almost evil grin. Mulder studied her face a moment, noting her surprise.

"Dana?" he said with concern. Scully swallowed hard before looking at him, then swiftly kissed him again.

"It's okay," she tried to reassure him. "It's okay, Mulder." She pulled his body closer until his leg lay between hers, his body nearly covering hers. "Go to sleep," she said softly. He studied her a moment longer, looking at her as his head once again rested on her shoulder. His body was exhausted, and try as he might he could not keep his eyes open a moment longer. Dana moved so their legs were entwined, leaving no room for Alex between them.

Again in the darkness she saw a flash of teeth as Krycek grinned at her. She kept a wary eye on him as he rolled away from them. A moment later he got off the bed and stood beside it.

"Good night, Scully," he whispered.

When Scully made no response, he grinned at her in the darkness. He stepped to the door and turned back to her. "We'll have to do this again, sometime," he said as he retrieved the gun from the dresser.

From the bed he heard the faint sound of Scully's voice as she quietly cursed him. "Bastard!"

Krycek quickly stepped back toward Mulder's side of the bed. Scully cringed, thinking 'now I've done it' and knowing she was in no position to stop him. But Krycek surprised her. He crouched down beside the bed a moment, reaching out a hand to stroke Mulder's back. Mulder whimpered a little in his sleep. Krycek pressed his lips to Mulder's shoulder in a soft kiss, then stared past him into Scully's eyes.

"I didn't come here to hurt him." A wry grin crossed his lips as he shook his head slightly. "I just couldn't resist him." A frown creased Scully's brow as she realized he was being completely honest.

With his free hand Krycek pickup up the blanket and with a flick of his wrist, covered them both with it. Mulder snuggled in closer with a sigh. Krycek arose and made his way to the bathroom to relieve himself. Looking at himself in the mirror, he shook his head in wonder. "Both!" he whispered to the reflection in startled triumph.

He snapped off the light and re-entered the bedroom. Neither Scully nor Mulder had moved. He couldn't resist the urge. Dropping the gun on the floor and pushing it under the bed with his foot, he slipped under the blanket and lay beside Scully again.

"I thought you left," she said quietly.

'You wish I left' Krycek thought to himself. Alex leveled himself up until he was looking down at her. "Confess it, Scully. You owe me for this," his smile turned gentle, "You have to admit, he's sweet, isn't he?"

Even Scully had to admit it was true. She thought she had lost Fox Mulder and now, she had him more than she had ever thought possible.

"You wouldn't have hurt him," she stated.

"I was sent to recover him." He held her gaze for a moment. "They needed him out of the way for awhile. They'll leave him alone now." Alex reached out and brushed a stray lock on Fox's forehead. "He'll be safe," he said softly.

Scully studied his face a moment. "How long have you been in love with him?"

"Who said..." he started defensively, then stopped himself. He smiled tiredly at her. "Go to sleep, Scully. By tomorrow you'll have some explaining to do to him."

Krycek rolled away and grabbed a pillow. Punching it, he slipped it under his head. Unaware of the satiated smile on his own mouth, he closed his eyes and slept.


Chapter 9: Waking up

Mulder twitched in his sleep while memories of the seasons rolled over him. Summers building sandcastles on the beach with a small, hazel-eyed girl. Winters picking up shells and driftwood. Watching colorful autumn leaves whisper down from the trees to create elaborate padded beds, just right for running and jumping into, while they scattered around you like feathered down bursting from a pillow. Spring bringing the perfume of wildflowers carried on the wind and freedom from the chilly snows.


Dana awoke to the feel of someone nuzzling her ear. She smiled sleepily and turned her head in the direction of the nuzzler. She quickly found that she couldn't turn far because her left side was completely numb and there was a great pressure holding her down. Her eyes flew open, only to be met by smiling green ones.

"Morning," Alex said quietly.

Dana stared at him, uncomprehendingly, and then looked to the weight on her left side. There was Mulder, curled up over her left side, as he had been all night. She smiled fondly at this sleeping image of her partner. Looking back to her right, she looked Alex straight in the eye. "I'm surprised to see you still here."

Alex gave her a small smile, "We have to talk." He jerked his head to indicate the living room before rising and donning his jeans. Dana watched as he nonchalantly walked back over to the bed, reached under it and brought out the gun. This he tucked into his jeans.

She waited until he had left the room before wiggling out from under Mulder. She snagged one of his discarded tee shirts off the floor and drew it over her head. All of her clothes were still in the living room and she didn't feel like walking out there naked.

When she finally did walk into the living room, the aroma of coffee greeted her. Seconds later, Alex walked in from the small kitchen holding two cups, one of which he handed to her.

She sipped at the hot brew, grateful for the civilized way that Alex seemed to want to treat this. "Okay, Alex, what did you want?"

Alex motioned to the couch and she folded her legs under her and sat. He perched on the arm on the other end, studying her over his coffeecup. "We need to talk."

"You said that. What about?"

"Him," he said with a jerk of his head.

"What about him?"

"Come on, Scully. You know what I mean."

Dana let go a sigh. "Yeah. I know. How long before he gets all his memory back?"

"Truthfully, I don't know. I'm kind of surprised he hasn't started to get them back already. I was told that it would be about two months; and it's been almost that already."


A kaleidoscope of memories flashed behind Mulder's eyelids. His mind was caught up in the swirl of lights and colors. Memories tumbled together, one on top of another, until they lay in a jumble. Sorting them seemed an impossible task so he let them lie, occasionally picking up one and examining it like a pretty stone found on the shore.


"I think we need to talk about... well, what to say to him when he does get all his memory back."

Dana took another sip of coffee before she answered him. "My best advice to you, Alex, is to get the hell out of town as fast as you can."

Alex sighed heavily and Dana watched as his shoulders slumped. "I wish it was that easy. I'm supposed to report in when he gets his memory back. Of course, that presupposes that he doesn't kill me first."

Dana's look became a glare. "You're working for them again?"

"Not by choice, Dana."

She stared into her coffee with a thoughtful expression. "So are you going to tell me how all this happened and how you came to be involved?"

"Well, you've met Mulder's informant?"

"Yeah, nice guy."

"He got me out of the damn silo, so I was doing the occasional job for him. He sent me to pick up Mulder from that base he broke into. By the time I got there, they had already messed with his head. All I did was get him away from them and take him home. Well... my home, anyway. When he woke up he was so lost and confused..."

"That you thought you could just take advantage of him?"

"It wasn't like that, Scully. Well, maybe it was at the beginning, but... My GOD, Scully! YOU see how he is. I... I just couldn't resist. You don't know how hard it was to send him back to you. I didn't want to let go, but I knew I had no choice."

"Why did they erase his memory?"

Alex shook his head. "Some project they were working on. They wanted him out of the way for the duration."

"What was the project?"

"I have no idea. Mulder was my only concern. Once I already had him, Cancerman was willing to leave him in my custody. He wants to leave him confused when this is all over, confused about him and me, but I don't want to see him hurt."

"Mulder will never believe you."

Alex looked sad. "I realize that. And there is nothing I can do about that. I know I should have left him alone once he got back here and, really, I intended to, its just that..."

"You missed him."

Alex ducked his head. "Like you wouldn't believe," he said with feeling.

Scully shook her head. "Looks like Mulder wasn't the only one Cancerman was trying to manipulate."

Alex gave a snort. "Ain't that the truth."


Memories of locust filling up a courtroom, frogs falling from the sky, a room full of identical women, claiming to be his lost sister, filled his mind. Gunshots, explosions, fires. Luminescent bugs coming down from the sky to suck all the fluids from your body. Images came and went. Each more frightening than the last. Mulder whimpered in his sleep and pulled the pillow tighter into his arms.


"So, what do you want now, Alex?"

"I know that I can't stay. And they have videos of him and I together. I'll see to it that they are destroyed. I don't want to hurt him, Scully. I just... I don't want him to think badly of me. That's all."


Images flashed so fast, they hurt. Every degradation, every insult, every broken heart, ever scar was reopened and examined. Salty water squeezed out from behind his closed eyelids as bitter tears dripped onto the linen pillowcase. With a choking sob, he jerked awake.


Both Scully and Alex looked up as they heard the cry. Scully put her mug down and started for the room. Before she took two steps, a hand stopped her.

"Dana, I have to go. Please take good care of him. And... And tell him I'm sorry if I hurt him."

Scully studied his face for a long minute before patting his hand. "I will, Alex. I promise."

"Thank you." Alex said softly, turning away even as Scully left the room to comfort Mulder.

A split second later her head popped out again. "And Alex?"


"Thanks for giving him back."

"Don't thank me, Scully. I'm not sure I would have if I had had any other choice."

Dana smiled slightly and disappeared again.

Alex dressed hurriedly and headed for the door. He only stopped once, at the door, taking a long last look at Mulder's apartment. Staring at the brass numbers nailed to the outside of Mulder's door, he muttered to himself. "The answer to life, the universe and everything." He gave a rueful grin. "Now all we need is the question," he said as he quietly closed the door behind him.


Scully entered the room to find Mulder sitting up in bed, tears still streaming down his face. She gathered him in her arms, shushing him softly. His arms tightened around her and his sobs wracked the lean frame before they finally tapered off.

Pulling away from her, he held her with his eyes. "Scully?"

Dana's breath caught in her throat. THESE eyes knew her. Knew her like they had always known her. Knew the level of her commitment to him. Knew the depth of their friendship. The extent of her pain. Her Mulder was back.

All she could do was whisper, "Oh, my god, Mulder," and clasp him to herself, vowing never to let go. "You're back, you're back. Oh my god, I can't believe you're back," her words ran together as tears sprung to her eyes. Their tears mingled, washing away the loneliness and pain of missing the other. When they finally drew apart, all Dana could do was hold his hands and ask, "Are you okay? Do you remember what happened?"

At this question, he became quite still. "I remember, Scully. I remember all of it. Including last night."

Dana became silent and hung her head in shame. A hand softly brushed her cheek, forcing her to look up and meet his eyes again.

"I'm sorry, Mulder. I took advantage of you. I..."

"No, Scully. Don't say you're sorry. Never say you're sorry for caring for me. I couldn't forgive you if you just did it out of pity."

A small smile tugged at her lips. "Pity had nothing to do with it, Mulder. It definitely wasn't pity."

Mulder's smile widened before it faded. "And as for Alex... I just don't know what to think about that."

"Mulder... I... I got the chance to talk to him before he left."

"What did he say?" Mulder demanded.

"Mulder, I don't think he did it out of pity, either."

His face grew hard. "No. He just knew I couldn't remember him, so he decided to have a little fun, at my expense."

Dana placed a soothing hand on his forearm. "You don't really think that, do you?"

Mulder angrily wrapped a sheet around his hips and paced the room. "What an I supposed to think, Scully? Do you really expect me to believe that he slept with me because he was in love with me?"

Dana stopped his pacing by standing in his path. "Up until a few minutes ago, that's exactly what you thought, Fox Mulder!"

Mulder stared at her, his mouth compressing into a fine line. "But I didn't remember who I was. Do you really think he was in love with me?"

She touched him again. "If the conversation I just had with him is any indication, then; YES, I do."

Mulder sighed heavily. "God, Scully, what am I going to do?"

"Do you remember what you saw at that base?"

Mulder shook his head. "No. I just remember waking up at the farmhouse and being scared because I didn't know where I was. Or who I was."

"And then what happened?"

"Alex. Alex happened. He came in and held me. Then he started to kiss me. And then... then..." his voice trailed off.

"It's okay, Mulder. Something happened between the two of you and it's OKAY to acknowledge that. Alex said they wanted to leave you confused when this was all over, but I don't think that's what he wants, Mulder. I think he really cares. And face it, without all the baggage between the two of you, who knows what might have developed. He told me to tell you that he was sorry. That he didn't want to hurt you."

Mulder sighed again and she wrapped her arms around him. "God, Scully, what an I going to do?"

"I can't be mad at him, Mulder. He brought you back to me." Dana tightened her arms around him.

"I never knew it was so hard being me."


Chapter 10: Confrontation

Returning to work was... interesting. At least Scully didn't feel like she had to watch his every move this time. Oddly enough, his actions when he returned to the basement office were reminiscent of the last time he had been here. He wandered around the room, touching things, seeming to recall them through some form of tactile memory.

Dana smiled with amusement and wondered if he would do the same thing in Skinner's office as he had the last time. She could just see him meandering through there while Skinner shot her glares, telling her, without words, to rein in her kid.

After the first couple of days, things seemed to settle back into their old routine. In some ways she missed the absent-minded Mulder. There was definitely something uncomplicated and uncluttered about him. And his eyes had never held the depths of sadness and anger that shimmered there now.

But she was worried. Mulder was becoming increasingly withdrawn. Even his wisecracks didn't have their usual edge. Even her joy over his returned memory and their sudden closeness did little to break through his stoic faade. She watched as, every day, he grew more and more distant. The silences were becoming unbearable. Maybe it was time to take the bull by the horns. Dana did a little investigative work and found some answers. Krycek's, or rather, Ben Alexander's farm was up for sale. There was an estate agent handling everything. No, he had had no contact with Mr. Alexander, but he was known to call in every once in a while to check up on things. Dana left a message to be passed along, along with an electronic mail address. A week later she received a note.

Surprised to hear from you.
Is anything wrong?

Dana shipped back an answer.

Trouble brewing.
You must talk to him.
He needs you.
Come soon.

An hour later she had a reply.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

Mulder would have her by the ears if he found out about this. But she had to do something. It didn't look like he was going to snap out his blue funk anytime soon.


A week after the last message, Alex made an appearance. All he had to do now was figure out how to get Mulder to talk to him. Talk to him without blowing his head off. So he set a little trap. The Rat's trap.


Mulder groaned as the phone rang. He sat up on the couch, pushing unread file folders off his chest, and reached for his cellular.

"Mulder." His voice was rough, unused.

"Tenth and Wilmont. Room 43." The voice was hushed and hurried. Message delivered, Mulder was left with only the dial tone.

"Oh, hell."


Alex watched as Mulder entered the abandoned apartment building. The place had been condemned for years and was waiting for its chance at urban renewal.

He watched as Mulder, flashlight in one hand, Glock in the other, searched the building. It was time to make his move.

He was perched above a hole in the ceiling above room 42. Just across the hall from where he had told Mulder to go. He watched Mulder's caution, admiring the way the man moved with the sleek grace of a cat.

With a small sigh, he brought up his pistol, taking careful aim for Mulder's ass, (maybe I'll kiss it better later, he thought) he squeezed the trigger.

Mulder gave a startled gasp, dropping the flashlight in surprise, and spun around. One hand reached behind him for a buttcheek, plucking the tranquilizer dart out of his rear. Alex watched as outraged hazel eyes met his green ones in his hideout, just for a brief moment their eyes locked, before those hazel orbs rolled up in his head and he passed out.

Alex leaped down to the floor and carefully stepped around the unconscious agent. He would have to move fast. The tranq would not last for long. He rolled Mulder up and hauled him over his shoulder, carrying him in a fireman's lift, down the stairs and into the only habitable room in the building.

Settling the lanky man onto the clean mattress, he removed everything from his pockets. Keys, penlight, cellular, wallet, small change all landed in a pile. The handcuffs he secured to Mulder's wrist and attached the other end to a nearby pole. He headed back upstairs, collecting Mulder's gun and xenon flashlight. Hell, that thing must weigh about five pounds alone! Hurrying back down stairs, he searched Mulder one more time, taking special care to search the cuffs of his pants and along his belt. Now where the hell did Mulder keep the extra key to the handcuffs? Alex ran his fingers along the waistband, but his fingers didn't encounter anything. Alex frowned, and then suddenly he felt a hand grasp his wrist.

He jumped, only then noticing that Mulder's eyes were open.

"What's the matter, Alex. Miss having someone to fuck, so you thought you'd wait 'til I was unconscious? Again?"

Alex jerked his hand away, as if he had been burned.

"We need to talk."

"Yeah? How about 'slam, bam, thank you, sir.' Doesn't that pretty much say it all?"

When Alex responded, his eyes were steely and his voice carried an edge. "Is that how you remember it?"

"But my memory can't be trusted, can it, Alex? You all made sure of that, didn't you?"

"I didn't bring you here to argue."

"Then what the hell did you bring me here for? The nights getting a little cold for you, Alex?" Mulder was practically yelling now, his voice dripping sarcastic honey as he said Krycek's name.

"As a matter of fact they are." Alex growled in return. And with that, he leaned forward and kissed him, hard.

Mulder turned his head away with a jerk. "Get the fuck away from me, you bastard!"

"Well, if we're not gonna kiss and make up, maybe we could talk."

"You've got nothing to say that I want to hear." Mulder struggled to sit up. Alex sat back on his haunches and watched him.

"How about the fact that that oil alien that got into me didn't microwave your ass like a frozen entr e."

Mulder met his eyes, curiosity rising despite himself, considering the possibilities. "Actually, I would like to know about that."

"I'm willing to talk, on MOST subjects, just don't ask me what I can't tell you."

With a weary sigh, Mulder sat up and leaned back against the wall. "So tell me. Tell me about the oil alien. The whole time you had the alien in you, you could've killed me. I spend all that time with you when it was in you and it never tried to kill me. Did you have control over it? Did you know what it wanted? What it would do?"

"Gee, Mulder. Don't be shy about asking." Alex grinned at him. Mulder raised a defiant eyebrow. Alex sighed. "I knew it would defend itself, especially if it could do so without revealing its true nature."

"But when I caught you in the Hong Kong airport... you fought back. Why didn't it defend itself then?"

"It didn't get into me until you sent me into the restroom to clean up. I don't think it would kill in a public place, just so it could retain its anonymity."

"Then it was in you for the whole plane ride. And when we landed. We were in the car alone. Why not then?"

"I didn't view you as a threat. You weren't attacking me." Krycek rubbed his throat in memory. "You were a little rough but you weren't threatening me."

"It could have killed me when those assassins ran us off the road!"

Krycek studied him until Mulder began to shift uncomfortably. "There was some... mutual understanding. It would listen to me," he began slowly, "And I didn't want to hurt you."

Mulder opened his mouth to speak but Krycek put a hand up to stop him. Alex got to his feet and began to pace the room. "I told you when I first met you that some of us had heard of you in the academy and admired your work. Believe it or not, that was the truth. Your search for the truth is... inspiring... frightening." Krycek looked embarrassed. "Sometimes I can't imagine what you have to go through in order to find the truth. Your dedication is nothing short of amazing." Krycek shook his head. "Especially since you have no idea what you're up against."

A chagrin look started on Mulder's features and he climbed to his feet, one arm dangling toward the pole where his wrist was still cuffed. Alex pointed a finger in his direction. "It's true and you know it," Alex pressed the point, "Your like some medieval knight, fighting the dragons. All dedication and passion without a thought for what could happen to you, what kind of trouble your stepping blindly into." Krycek shook his head. "I've heard some refer to it as a kind of 'noble naivet.'"

"I'm not nearly that honorable," Mulder growled.

"Aren't you? You'll plunge headlong into danger, without a second thought, if you think your right. Without any regard for yourself or your safety."

"That's not true," Mulder stated flatly, trying his best to deny the veracity of the statement. Truth from Krycek, what a laugh!

"Isn't it? How many times have you gone into something because someone needed you? How many times have you placed yourself in danger to protect someone else? Even when you were in the VCS and tracking serial killers, how many times did you dive into their heads, even knowing you might not be able to claw your way back out?"

Mulder dropped his eyes, unable to meet the stark truth of Krycek's words, but Alex continued. "Sometimes your such an innocent, Mulder. Don't give me that look, you know its true. That's why they fear you. You're relentless. The truth is your god. Nothing else matters."

"That's not true!"

"No? The only thing that slows you down is Scully. You're not willing to place her in the same degree of danger that you will accept for yourself. You even do what you can to protect Skinner."

Mulder looked away again, not able to meet his eyes, abashed his weaknesses were so apparent.

"You'll do whatever you have to, to protect the innocent. Regardless of the danger to yourself. You're like some elemental force. Unstoppable. Relentless. Driven. Hurricane Mulder! Feel free to stop me if I'm wrong. But you can't, because I'm not wrong. You carry the fatal flaw. Always struggling for the truth, even if your search destroys you. Not that you're fearless. Not at all! This stuff scares the hell out of you. And rightly so! Most people would be too afraid to continue; to even attempt to stop them. They would run, screaming out the door. Not you. Your scared shitless, but you keep on going. Pushing the envelope. Like fucking Don Quixote, listing at windmills. You think you have right on your side. Don't you get it? They're bigger, stronger, and more powerful. They outnumber you, but that doesn't stop you. You don't have a chance, but you won't give up."

Krycek pushed up against him, pinning him to the wall with his body. "What makes you fight so hard? Why can't you give in? What drives you so hard, Mulder?"

Mulder felt himself pressed against the wall, not just physically but emotionally as well. Krycek's face was inches from his own. "I can't give up. I have to find her. I have to know the truth." The words came out in a rush.

Krycek studied the handsome face. "Relentless," he whispered, his hot breath brushing Mulder's cheek. Mulder's eyes slid from Krycek's green ones to watch Alex's lips form the word, finding himself fascinated with the movement.

Alex leaned forward and touched Mulder's lips with his own. Mulder seemed to melt into the kiss for a moment before he jerked his head away. "No!" he said forcefully. Pushing Krycek away with his hands, "I can't do this. I won't do this again!"

A small smile played on Krycek's lips. He had felt Mulder's surrender before he had abruptly pulled away. He knew the look of confusion on Mulder's face; he had seen it in the mirror when looked at his own face. The things that had happened between them were not over, just pushed away to a dark corner for now. Too much had happened to Mulder recently and he was not prepared to deal with this, too. Krycek reached out a hand and stroked Mulder's cheek. "It's okay. I understand." Krycek pulled away, taking a step away, speaking low as if to calm a wild beast. "Cancerman knows what happened."

That caught Mulder by surprise. "How? When...? How did he find out?"

Alex turned away, needing to withdraw from Mulder's intensity. "It was HIM I stole you from. HE made you forget. HE had them mind-wipe you. Then he showed up at the farm."

With a hand on his shoulder, Mulder turned Krycek to face him. "You're working for HIM?" His voice rose on the last word, incredulous, outraged.

Alex shook his head. "I didn't then."

"Than why did you 'steal' me from him?" his voice carried a steel edge.

"I was working for the guy you call 'Mr. X' at the time."

Mulder absorbed this piece of information with a shudder. "You're working for Cancerman now?"

"After he showed up at the farm. After I rescued you. I didn't have much choice."

Mulder had gone stone still. "He knows what happened between us?"

"I found him sitting on the bed the next morning. I didn't exactly have to draw him a picture. He could see for himself what was going on." Krycek chuckled, "Not even a chance at a plausible denial."

"I thought you were on the run from him. How did he find you?"

Alex shook his head. "He said he already knew where I was. And he would bring me back into the organization if I took care of you for him."

"So, that night with Scully...?"

"...was not on Cancerman's agenda. That was something I wanted. I shouldn't have, but I wanted you. Both. And I wanted you, both, to have each other."

The statement surprised Mulder and he asked softly, "Why? Why would you want me to sleep with Scully?"

"Oh, come on, Mulder, everyone knows you're in love with her. What no one can figure out is why the two of you haven't slept together before now! I knew I couldn't stay and I wanted to make it possible for you and her to get together. I just... I just wanted to leave you in the hands of someone I trusted." Alex looked down at the floor, studying his shoes.

"Why do you think you shouldn't have wanted it to happen that night?"

Krycek looked up sharply at Mulder, before ducking his head. "Because I revealed too much of myself that night. Scully could see it. You... I don't know what the hell you think. And I'm not sure I give a damn," he said forcefully, trying for bravado, false as it was.

Mulder chewed on that a while, ignoring the challenge. "I don't know what to think. You confuse the hell out of me, Alex."

A wry grin crossed Krycek's face. "Now you know how I feel. But you're right. This can't happen again. It's too dangerous. For both of us."

Mulder quirked an eyebrow in question. "He wants you confused, Mulder. Unsure of where you stand. He's hoping it will distract you from your... quest."

"But you don't?"

Krycek stepped close again. "That's not what I want," he said sincerely. Mulder studied the green eyes, but found no guile lurking there. "I wouldn't mind if it continued but... I don't want to hurt you. And I know that distracting you from your search for the truth would hurt you."

"But you killed my father."

"I told you before, I didn't." Krycek was exasperated. "That was Louis. I saw the look in your eyes when I told you the first time. You may not want to admit it but I saw the look of relief in your eyes when I told you I didn't do it. You say you didn't want to believe me but you were relieved all the same. Some part of you wants to believe that I didn't kill him, that I COULDN'T kill him.

I didn't shoot Melissa Scully, either, but I was there. I tried to make sure Cardinal shot a couple of inches above Scully's head, to give her a chance. But Melissa was taller. It would have missed Dana. That's why Melissa was shot in the head, I was trying to make sure Dana got missed. NOBODY expected her sister to show up."

Alex sighed heavily. "I never thought my life would turn out the way it has. And now I'm so tired." His shoulders slumped. "I'm so tired of running. Tired of being under Cancerman's thumb."

"Let me go, Alex."

Alex studied him a moment, trying to gauge his level of violence. "I don't want to fight you, Mulder."

"Then let me go."

Alex reached for his free arm, taking his wrist in a crushing grip and pushing it against the wall. They stood toe to toe, Alex's chest pressed against Mulder's.

"Is it so hard to believe me, Mulder?"

"Believe you? Believe that your not a cold-blooded murderer? Believe that you didn't fuck me just because you could? Why, Alex? What did you get out of it? Just the chance to rub my nose in it? Just the chance to say 'gotcha?' What is it I'm supposed to believe, Alex?"

Alex trapped him with his eyes. "Is it so hard to believe that I love you?"


Chapter 11: Surrender

Mulder felt Alex lean against him, adding pressure.

"Get away from me, Alex," he hissed.

Alex stepped away, his eyes glowing with pain, sighing in resignation. "Fine, Mulder. I just wanted to talk. I know what happened has been bothering you. But if you're unable... or unwilling, to talk about it," he reached into the pile on the floor and pulled out Mulder's keys, "Then fine. I guess we're done here."

He tossed the keys into the air and headed for the door.

Mulder caught them easily, one-handed. The whole setting was too reminiscent of the last time Mulder had been cuffed around Alex. The scene in Hong Kong came back vividly.

Being caught, handcuffed to a dead body, trapped by a locked door. He almost expected to see Alex turn at the door, sneering at him, and making a sarcastic comment. Both of them knowing at the time that Alex had been leaving him to his death, the French black ops group and a radiation-exuding alien just on the other side of that thin protective wood.

Mulder felt the anger boil up and over, exploding in absolute fury. He shifted the keys with his fingers until he found the proper one, unlocking the cuff, hearing the clang of metal on metal as he let it slide away from him, down the pole.

Mulder looked up to see Alex just stepping through the doorway. With a lunge, he was on him, pinning him to the ground, twisting one arm behind his back. He heard Krycek's breath whoosh from his lungs. He forced him down, onto his stomach; Mulder's other arm circling his neck in a headlock.

"You're not getting out of here so fast, you bastard!"

Alex lay acquiescent beneath him, not struggling. "What do you want, Mulder? Do you want me to say I'm sorry? I'm sorry, damnit!"

"Why didn't you just leave me alone!" Mulder screamed, his voice full of rage.

"I'm sorry, Mulder. I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry." Alex's voice was strained with unshed tears. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"You son of a bitch! Why? WHY?" Mulder's tears were starting to flow. The feelings of betrayal, hurt, and lost trust were squeezing his chest until he could hardly breathe. "You let X fuck me. I trusted you. God damn you to hell! I trusted you!"

"I'm sorry, Mulder. I'm sorry." Alex whispered the words over and over.

"Why didn't you just leave me alone? Did you both have a big laugh from it? Did you both go out and share a beer afterwards?"

Alex could feel Mulder's tears beginning to mingle with his own. "Please, Mulder. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I couldn't stop him. I couldn't stop myself. Let me up. Please. I'm so sorry. Just let me up and I'll get out of you life forever."

"Why? Why?" Mulder sobbed against his back, burying his face against Alex's shoulder blades.

Alex could feel his grip loosen. He shifted under Mulder until he could turn over. Mulder's grasp fell away from him and Alex drew his head down to his shoulder, holding him tight with his other arm, stroking the long muscles of his back. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You were just so sweet, so vulnerable; I couldn't stop. I'm sorry." Alex kissed his tear-stained cheeks, cooing into his ear, until Mulder's sobs lessened. Alex felt his body lose its tension, only an occasional hiccuping sob escaping him as he lay on Alex. It felt so good to have Mulder in his arms again, the weight of his body above him. It felt so right. He kissed him again, letting his hands begin to roam, leaving behind assurance and moving toward arousal.

"God, I missed you so much, Mulder."

Mulder's hands began their own journey, sliding over Alex's chest, squeezing his sides.

"If I had a choice, I would never have sent you back. I would have kept you all to myself." Alex kissed his cheek, then his eyebrow, enjoying Mulder's sweet skin against his lips again.


"Don't talk, Mulder. Don't say anything. Just make love to me."

Mulder sniffled and drew his head back so he could look into Alex's eyes.

Alex held his eyes. "Fuck me, Mulder."

Mulder's eyes widened. "I never... Alex, we never..."

"I know, Mulder. I want you. I want you in me. I want to feel you in me. I want to feel you come in me. Please."

Mulder sucked in a breath. Alex didn't give him anymore time to think about it. He leaned up and placed his lips against Mulder, grinding his growing erection against his hips. Mulder groaned into his mouth.

"God, Alex!"

"Remember how good we were together, Mulder." Alex rolled them over until he was on top. "God, I missed you. I missed your beautiful body. I missed how I could make you moan." He started to move down Mulder's body, opening fastening and baring skin as he went. "I missed tasting you. I missed feeling your body shudder under my hand." Alex had all the buttons of his shirt undone. "I miss feeling your tongue on my skin, licking me, washing me with your own moisture." Alex took Mulder's nipple between his teeth, biting him gently.

Mulder groaned, head thrown back. "Alex!" His voice sounded desperate.

Alex soothed the nipple with his tongue. "I missed hearing you giggle when I tickled you with my tongue. I miss looking up and seeing your eyes watching me."

He looked up then and held Mulder's eyes. They had that dark, half-lidded look he got when he was getting lost in his desire. Alex wanted nothing more than to keep that look on his face. Or replace it with that I've-just-been-thoroughly-fucked look he wore after sex.

Alex reached for his belt, pushing the leather and fabric out of his way. He slid a hand inside Mulder's slacks, caressing him through the cotton cloth of his boxer shorts. Mulder groaned again.

Before Alex could make another move, he was caught in Mulder's grip, and flipped over onto his back. Mulder kissed him hard, pushing his tongue past Alex's teeth, sliding deep, taking possession. Alex welcomed him, opening his mouth wider, sucking him in.

Mulder's hands began to strip him, wrenching open the shirt, buttons popping off and flying everywhere. He reached into Alex's jeans. What he didn't feel surprised him. He didn't feel anything between the rough denim and Krycek's skin.

"Jesus Christ, Alex! You really did expect to get laid tonight," his voice was filled with mirth, "You even went commando!"

Alex just grinned and reached into a pocket, bringing out a foil packet of condoms and a tube of lubricant. "I'm always prepared. Scouts honor." He threw a mock salute at Mulder.

"You were never a Boy Scout, of THAT, I'm certain."

Mulder reached for the foil packet and threw it over his shoulder. Alex looked at him in astonishment, before he felt Mulder's hips grind into his own. "We're riding bareback tonight, Alex. It wouldn't be the first time."

Alex grinned and then shivered, thinking of Mulder filling him up with his semen, the feel of his manly juice hotly splashing into his guts. He reached for Mulder's slacks again, intent on pulling them all the way down, when his hands were stopped.

"Why don't we use the mattress that you have so conveniently provided." He pushed up to his feet and held out a hand to help Alex.

When Alex stood, he was wrapped up in Mulder's arms again. Kissing, touching, caressing. Alex's head was spinning. He felt Mulder's walking him backwards, toward the mattress, moving slowly, their hands never ceasing their journey.

Touches were remembered. Special places were recalled. Reactive caresses were recollected. Alex closed his eyes with a groan. God, he remembered this body so well. Those long tapered fingers, teasing him. That tongue, tasting him. How the hell had he ever let him go!

His heel caught on the edge of the mattress and Mulder lowered him gently. As he did, he was stripping him. Shoes and socks were tossed aside, jeans followed immediately. Alex's erection bobbed in the air and Mulder took a moment to kiss the head before he moved up Alex's body. He smiled to himself as he watched it jump, stretching to regain contact.

He lay over Alex's body, fully clothed. The feeling of power, of being the one in charge made his balls ache. Alex was naked beneath him, writhing under his hands. He could make Alex do anything he wanted; Alex had already said as much. He was in command. He took Alex's face in his hands, pressing his lips solidly against the younger man's. He felt Alex's surrender, his mouth opening wider, allowing, no, YIELDING, all resistance gone. He could make him wiggle on his fingers, beg for his touch. Beg to be fucked. But Alex had already begged. 'Please. Please fuck me.' He had whispered in Mulder's ear. 'Take me. Fill me up with you.'

Mulder groaned again, suddenly feeling his clothes were too restrictive. He started shedding them, feeling Alex's hands assisting him.

Every item landed on the floor. All except Mulder's tie. Mulder leaned over Alex again, letting his weight fall on him, kissing him thoroughly. For just a moment he held himself perfectly still. Alex groaned beneath him. "Don't stop. Please, Mulder, don't stop."

Mulder grinned and ran the silk of his tie against Krycek's face. "Maybe I should blindfold you, Alex."

"No. No blindfold. I want to see your eyes. I want to watch your face when you come in me."

Mulder ran his hands along Alex's arms, pushing them up, over his head, until his wrists were crossed. "Maybe I should tie you up."

"Yes! Tie me up! Tie me down! Please, Mulder, just fuck me."

Mulder drew the silk around his wrists, binding them loosely together. He watched as Alex's eyes closed in pleasure. He moved downward, starting a loving assault against Krycek's body. He sucked at the skin of Alex's neck, leaving a row of hickeys, followed the path downward with small caressing bites. Alex sucked in a quick breath. Mulder could hear his whispered moans, "Yesyesyesyesyesyes."

His tongue left shiny traces down Krycek's torso. When he reached the groin, he touched everywhere. Everywhere but the cock that stood so tall and proud. He buried his nose in Krycek's pubic hair, inhaling the musky scent of denim and 'pure Alex.' Alex arched under him, attempting to make contact, but Mulder deftly avoided it, allowing the hardened rod to brush past his cheek.

Mulder sat back on his haunches and stared at the man before him. Alex was shaking with passion, quivering under Mulder's gaze. "Mulder..." he heard Alex whisper.

Mulder's eyes bore through Alex. Alex's eyes widened. "Please, Mul..."

Mulder put up a hand to stop him. In his other hand he clutched something, opening the hand, palm upwards, to reveal it. The tube of lubricant sat there. "Grease me, Alex."

Alex felt the quiet order shoot straight through him. Oh, god, yes! Alex was on his knees before his lover in a flash, snatching up the tube, almost dropping it in his haste to remove the cap. He bent over and kissed the head of Mulder's penis, then slid his mouth over it, engulfing it in his humid heat. Mulder groaned. Alex licked and sucked, caressing the head, following a straining vein with his tongue. He took it deep, feeling it stretch his throat, liking the way that Mulder's hands had moved into his hair, holding him close, driving the cock into his mouth. He groaned with pleasure, transmitting the vibrations to Mulder. He squeezed his own legs together, feeling his balls tightened with the pressure. His hands moved up, rolling Mulder's testicles with his fingers. Suddenly he felt a pain in his hair as Mulder pulled him away. "Grease me, Alex."

Alex spread the lubricant with shaking hands. When Mulder's cock was thoroughly anointed, Mulder pushed Alex back down on the mattress. "Lube yourself," he ordered quietly. Alex awkwardly did, spreading the oily substance. Mulder watched him; his eyes glittering with excitement as his lover prepared himself for him. His cock pulsed with the sight. When Alex had finished, he lay flat on his back, his legs bent at the knees, his thighs spread. 'Take me, take me' his eyes seemed to say. Mulder reached down and fondled Alex's cock. It twitched in his hand, a drop of precum exuding from the inflamed tip.

"Pull your knees up to your chest." Alex raised his legs, pulling them upwards until they lay next to each armpit. Mulder slipped his shoulders under Alex's knees, sliding his hands over Krycek's wrists, holding them over his head. Alex was so excited he thought he would burst. But before he could make another more, Mulder had a surprise for him. He reached over to his jacket and pulled an object from the inside coin pocket, something that Alex had missed. He brought it back to his lover and slipped it over his cock, all in a matter of seconds. Alex barely had a chance to react before the cockring was tightened. He head flew back as his body shuddered and he groaned aloud.

"You won't come before I say you will, okay, Alex?"

Alex couldn't speak, merely nodded. Mulder moved then. Moved between Alex's legs, spreading the asscheeks even further apart. He took his cock in hand, rubbing it between the cheeks, pumping up and down the channel in imitation of sex. Alex groaned. "Fuck me, Mulder, fuck me."

Mulder looked at his lover, his eyes sparkling. There was no more time for teasing. No more time for preparation. Mulder placed the tip of his cock against Alex's tight brown hole and added pressure. Alex jumped with a whimper before settling back down. Mulder pressed again and the anus widened to take him in. Alex felt stretched. He had always been the top, never allowing himself to be the bottom, never allowing another man to shove his dick up his ass. Oh man, why the hell had he waited. He opened his eyes to stare into Mulder's hazel ones that hovered just above him. This, this was why he had waited. For this man. This was the man he wanted in him. This was the man whose cock he wanted filling him. "Fuck me, Mulder," he pleaded.

But Mulder knew better. Knew if he shoved in right now that Alex would be screaming in pain. The head had barely entered when he drew it out again. Alex whimpered and Mulder repeated the action again and again until he felt the opening stretched. Then he pressed deeper. The resistance here was not nearly as tough as the tight ring of muscle at the opening. Here Alex's body accepted him. The spincter muscle that had resisted his entrance now held him firmly inside Alex. He shoved his hips up, driving his cock deeper into the pulpy flesh. Alex groaned again. The back and forth motion repeated itself slowly. He was all the way in now, feeling Alex's body, the heat, the tight caress around his cock, the way his slightest shift caused Alex to groan in pleasure. He settled himself between Alex's legs, fucking his lover, the added weight squeezing Krycek's testicles in delicious pleasure.

Alex never wanted it to stop. He wanted to be in this place forever, laying here with his legs spread wide while Mulder fucked him. And then Mulder began to drive into him. His hips snapped forward, his cock diving deep into Alex's rectum. Alex cried out in pleasure. 'Yes, yes, yes' he thought. "This is what I want. Take me, Mulder. Take me, I'm yours!" He choked out the words into his lover's ear. Mulder kissed him then, having not done so since he had penetrated Alex. He held him with his lips, possessing him all over again. Alex could feel the binding tighten on his soul. Alex groaned into Fox's mouth and lifted his hips to meet Mulder's. Faster and faster, Fox's ass bobbed in the air, plunging deeper with each thrust, his erection was as hard as steel. Alex bit his cheek and suddenly Mulder was coming. His cock seemed to explode with the force of his orgasm, peeling back another layer of his own soul in the process.

Alex felt the hot spurts as they splashed his intestines. His balls ached and he pistoned his ass against Mulder's hips. The cockring tightened, not allowing the final release. "Please, please, please," Alex begged.

Mulder was breathing hard. He stroked a hand over Alex's cheek, "Not yet, lover."

Alex shivered with the touch, the term 'lover' melting his willpower. "God, Mulder! Please!"

"Not yet. Not until I say."

Alex shivered again. Mulder watched him and then began kissing him again. Alex closed his eyes, accepting the kiss, the domination. Yes, he had given up all his power to Mulder. The man could do as he wished with him. He could fuck him. Caress him. Order him to suck him off. Order him to play with himself. Alex would have done anything he wanted.

And then he felt Mulder getting hard again. He felt the cock in his ass twitch delightfully. Felt it filling him again. Felt each pulse of Mulder's heartbeat through his cock. Oh, he was going to be fucked again. Alex lifted his hips in anticipation.

Mulder moved slowly, sensually. "Faster, faster," Alex begged. Mulder released Alex's hands, allowing him to let his legs fall at his sides again. Alex groaned and wrapped his legs around Mulder's hip, pulling him in with his heels.

His fingers undid the knot and slipped the loose piece of slik around Mulder's neck. He slid it through his fingers until he was just holding the tips, and then used them to stoke over Fox's nipples. Mulder sucked in a sudden breath. Alex drew the silk tight, using it to pull Mulder's head down so he could steal another kiss. Mulder groaned into his mouth.

He used his fingers to trail the tie over Mulder's shoulder, down his spine. Holding the ends tight again when it reached Fox's waist, pulling him in tighter still.

He stroked in again, pressing deep, feeling Krycek's ass tighten on his cock. Faster and faster, he pumped his hips. The tension was rising again. He felt Alex's hands on his butt, pressing him to dive in deeper with each thrust, sliding the silk over his butt. And then one finger wormed its way into his ass. The touch deepened, the pressure increasing until they were both feeling incredible pounding against their prostates. With a growl, Mulder reached between them, releasing Alex's penis from the cockring. Alex exploded between them with a shout, his orgasm making all his muscles go rigid. The muscles in his ass bore down hard on Mulder's cock and he exploded, semen discharging heavily enough to overflow.

Mulder collapsed atop Alex, gasping for breath. When he gathered enough energy to raise his head, he noticed that Alex had passed out. He gathered him in his arms and rolled them over until Alex was nestled against his shoulder, still sound asleep, the tie forgotten, buried beneath them. Reaching over to the discarded pile of clothes, he snagged his trenchcoat and covered them both to keep warm. Pressing his lips to his lover's temple, he whispered, "I love you, Alex," and let himself fall asleep.


Chapter 12: Removal

Alex lay with his face nestled against Mulder's shoulder. He could barely move and was still feeling a languid pleasure throughout his bones. He had passed out after Mulder had finally allowed him to come; come so hard he thought his semen would pass through most substances with the force of a bullet.

Mulder had rolled them over, holding Alex in his arms as he slept, snagging his own trenchcoat to cover the two of them. Alex had never been so happy in his life. But he knew it would not endure, this newfound peace. Real life waited for them just beyond these walls. He wished he and his lover could just sink into another dimension, one populated with only two.

Alex looked up at his lover. Fox was asleep, his face relaxed. Alex sighed. The rest of the world would be intruding soon and there were some things that he needed to do before that happened. He loved Fox, and would do anything he had to do to protect him.

He studied Mulder's face, seeing that fragile balance between venerability and strength. The events of the last month would have to be deleted from his memory. There was no choice. Now all he had to do was convince Mulder. Destroy the videotape. Secure Scully's silence, heaven knows, she would understand. If he did nothing, this whole thing would destroy Fox. He had to convince him it was the only way. Alex almost cried at the thought.

With a nudge, he woke Mulder. Those sleepy hazel eyes opened and he almost wept. This was going to be SO hard.

"Mulder, I have something to ask of you. And I don't want you to get mad."

"What are you talking about, Alex? At the moment, I don't think I could be mad at you if I tried."

"Well then, just hear me out before you start yelling. Okay?"

"What is it?"

"I want you to undergo another mindwipe."

"WHAT? Why the hell would you want THAT?"

"You promised not to yell."

"Then I take it back! Alex, why?"

"Look, you have to do this for me. You have to do this for yourself. Let them take your memory of the last month."

"And forget you? Forget what happened between us? Is that what you want? Are you afraid of what I know about you now, Alex?"

"No. I'm afraid of what you know about yourself. I've watched you, damn it. I know what this is doing to you. I know it's eating you up inside. I KNOW. Let me help you. Let me take away the memories. I'd rather you forget what we had than watch it eat at you, poisoning everything around you. I can't stand to see it suck the life out of you. I look in your eyes and all I want to do is hold you. The one thing I know I'm not allowed to do. That THEY won't allow me to do. I love you, Mulder. Let me help you."

"But everyone will still know. Everyone but me! Do you think Scully will forget? X? Cancerman?" he said bitterly.

"Mulder..." Krycek stopped. "I've already destroyed all the video tapes and the surveillance they took when we were at the ranch. They won't have any proof. Only their word. They can't get to you unless you let them."

Mulder just stared at him, unable to believe that this man, who had once been his enemy, would risk his position in the black ops group just to give him back his sanity, his peace of mind.

"How do I know they are destroyed?"

"Because I'm protecting myself, too. You know how this 'old boy's club' is. I wouldn't stand a chance if I didn't get rid of the evidence. And you don't stand a chance as long as you remember, so let me do this for you. For both of us. Cancerman has taken me back into the organization; I have access to what I need to do this. I'll be on the outs with him again, but hell, I'm sure he's going to want a little more than cocksucking from me next time."

"You BLEW Cancerman!?"

"Well, it was either that or bend over the table. Or maybe a nice bullet to the brain. I wasn't in a position to argue. You know I was on the run from him."

Mulder let out a weary sigh. "I don't know if I can agree to this, Alex." He caressed Krycek's cheek with one long finger. "Do you really want me to forget you?"

Alex leaned up and kissed him. "We don't have a choice. You know that."

Mulder sighed again. "Damnit, Alex. I don't want to lose you. I feel like I just found myself. And you want me to give all that up?"

"Please, you have to think about this. Please! You know what will happen if we do nothing. Cancerman is bound to catch us on camera again. Well, especially since I can't keep my hands off you." At this he saw Mulder smile. " Then he'll use it to blackmail you. You're position in the bureau is already shaky enough. Can you just imagine pictures of us showing up all over the Bureau? I'd have to fight them off with a stick!"

Mulder chuckled at the image of Alex defending his virtue, then his smile faded. "What will I have to do?"

"Leave it to me. I'll slip around Cancerman and get everything set up."

Mulder silently stared down at him until Alex raised his head and met his eyes. "I trust you, Alex," he said quietly.

Alex hugged him tighter, feeling his heart fill with love and weep at the same time.


Alex made all the arrangements. He called Scully to meet them at the gates of the base that Mulder had originally broken into. When everything was finished, Mulder would be brought to the gate and released. Scully would pick up from there. Mulder would remember getting into the base and then nothing. No one (provided Scully kept her promise) would be able to tell him where he had been for the last month. Scully was upset but understood why this needed to be done. With just a little cajoling and browbeating, he and Mulder had been able to convince her of the plan. The project that Mulder had tried to spy on had long since wrapped up and moved shop elsewhere. Silently Alex wished he could wipe the memories of the others who knew what had happened, just to protect his lover, but that was not possible. He also knew that when Cancerman got wind of this, he would be on the run again. That was okay with him. He had a few ideas about that. After all, the farm had finally sold so he had a few extra bucks stashed away. He would just have to hide better next time. Maybe somewhere where he was sure Cancerman had no influence. If Cancerman represented the establishment, maybe it was time to get in with the anti-establishment crowd. Whatever. Like Scarlett O'Hara, he would 'think about it tomorrow.'

For now it was all he could do not to throw Mulder onto the floor and seduce him. Just one more time. For old times sake? Please? He looked over at his lover. They were walking down a long hallway, holding hands like children. He looked at Mulder again, and then looked over his shoulder. No one was with them at the moment. He turned toward Mulder and pushed him up against the wall, kissing him ferociously. Mulder's lips protested a moment, no doubt trying to remind Alex of where they were, before yielding themselves up. Alex finally broke the kiss when he had to come up, gasping, for air.

"Damn, Alex. You do that again and I might change my mind." Alex flushed and squeezed his hand.

"You kiss me like that again and I might too." He tugged on his lover's hand again and they proceeded to their destination.


The room was white. White on white. That was how Mulder would remember it. White gowns, white masks, white sheets. Blinding white.

They brought him in and had him lay on a gurney. An intravenous line was stuck in his arm and he was given a sedative. When they started to strap down his wrists... well, that was when he started to lose it. He began to struggle, fighting the sedative, fighting the restraints. But suddenly Alex was there to reassure him, stroke his forehead, and kiss him gently. Mulder whimpered softly and Alex started to cry.

"It's okay. It's okay. I'm right here. Shhhhh. It's okay." Alex repeated the words over and over until he saw the sedative take effect and the lids were pulled down over Mulder's beautiful hazel eyes. He was gently shoved to one side then and led away by a burly guard. They wouldn't need him for the rest and he really didn't know if he could let them finish without interrupting, protesting that he wanted his lover back.

Alex found a high spot to watch the proceedings from. Reality seemed to warp and wrap around itself when he realized that this was almost the same view he had had the last time he was here. He perched above, watching, and Mulder was strapped to a gurney, while men in white took away his memory. Only this time it was himself who had ordered it. He shuddered at the thought of becoming like Cancerman. This procedure was being done out of love, and with full consent of the patient. That was the difference and he had to hold it close to him. Remember Mulder's love. Remember it for the both of them.

It didn't seem to take them as long before they finished. Alex watched as Mulder was wheeled out the door and put into a cell to sleep for a while. He snuck in long enough to plant a final kiss against those luscious lips before retreating to a safe distance again.

Finally, the guards came and roused Mulder, thrust him into the back of a military vehicle, and drove him to the gate. And into the waiting arms of Scully. Almost no words were exchanged between the two of them, Mulder's mind still so muddled that he could barely make a coherent sentence. Scully on the other hand had a promise to keep, and with that still in the forefront of her thoughts, she thought it best to keep quiet.

Alex watched the exchange from a distance. He wanted to make sure that Mulder had not seen him, but he couldn't just let him go without seeing him one last time.

He would have to move out soon. His spare set of identity papers was ready. His name would be Artzen. He had found the perfect para-military group to join up with. The bastards were planing on making a statement in a big way, an Oklahoma City bombing kind of way. If things went right, he would stop these assholes.



Alex fired the gun into his fellow rebel's head. The son of a bitch was getting ready to shoot Mulder. He hoped that Mulder had got all the receipts; for the racing and diesel fuel, the detonation cord and for the ammonia nitrate. Obviously he must have gotten the receipts for the storage space and the rental truck, otherwise why would the FBI be here.

The truck slammed into the side of a building and he heard Mulder identifying himself.

"Get out of the truck. Get out of the truck!" Alex tossed the gun out of the window and stepped out. At the sight of him, Mulder mumbled 'You son of a bitch' and thrust the butt of his weapon into Alex's stomach. Probably just as well, thought Alex, grabbing his stomach and hunching over, hoping to hide his erection.

"I handed you this bust, Mulder," he yelled.

"Oh come on, Krycek!"

"Who do you think sent you those receipts?"

It was apparent that Mulder did not remember their time together. His anger was palpable. And, oh my, he did look so cute in that helmet and carrying around that big weapon. Go GI Mulder! Alex just wanted to ask him if he could hold his 'big weapon' for him.

When Scully asked how Alex got involved with these men, he told her they found him in North Dakota. Alex could see that Mulder assumed that he was talking about the silo and he didn't correct the agent. Alex just said 'they liberated me on a salvage hunt.' Well, that was the truth. They liberated him from Cancerman's people who were about to put a slug in his brain.

"Hey, you go underground you got to learn to live with the rats." Alex could feel his erection returning. He just wanted to grab Mulder and pull him to the floor, raining kisses down his body as he stripped him of those sexy black jeans and black turtleneck.

"I'm sure you had no trouble adapting."

When he tried to explain, Mulder just responded with, "You're full of crap, Krycek. You're an invertebrate scum sucker whose moral dipstick is about two drops short of bone dry."

Alex thought, 'I'll be your scum sucker, Mulder. Show me your dipstick. Oh, please? Oh, pretty please?"

Instead of saying that, Alex stood up, defending himself, "Hey, I love this country."

Mulder shoved him back into his seat. 'Touch me again, Mulder. Please?' thought Alex.

Then Scully stood up, "What do you want, Krycek?"

He knew what she was really asking. Why are you here? Why don't you leave Mulder alone? You left; he's mine now! Back off! It all came through her eyes. Mulder may not remember, but Scully certainly did.

"Same thing you do," Alex responded. She had to know he would never do anything to hurt him.

Alex managed to grab their attention with promises of more information. At lease he would be able to stay by Mulder's side. Besides he knew the trail would eventually lead to Russia and he wanted to be there with Mulder. After all, he spoke Russian.


The End

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Author's notes:
I'm going to have to give credit where credit is due. This story is dedicated to Brenda Antrim (The Queen of X-Slash). Her story 'Krycek' inspired this bit of madness and frustrated the hell out of me when she killed Alex off at the end. So I started with the menage-a-trois scene (where I imagined 'Krycek' might go) and built the rest of the story after that. Shameless rip off of the whole who-am-I memory loss idea. Thanks, Brenda. You've inspired us all.

And special thanks to cathy lee for pushing me to subscribe to the M/K list and all her encouragement. Really appreciated. (Sorry, cathy, they didn't get that romantic breakfast on the balcony watching the sun rise over the San Juan Mountains. <G>)

And thanks to everyone for bearing with me. I don't usually post in chapters, but I needed the push to finish. Thanks to everyone who sent me that push.

And, of course, this story explains the whole reason why Mulder spends so much time in the Tunguska/Terma episodes slapping Ratboy around. All those buried memories were just trying to resurface. And all that repressed sexual desire was coming out through a violent channel. <g> Not to mention the reason why Ratboy never seems to fight back and gladly follows Mulder to the gulag. Kind of gives new meaning to Skinner's words to Krycek, "Think warm thoughts." Now we know what he really ment! ;-)