Slayer Slain Slay

by Idhren

Summary:

The Powers always ask the Potential if she wants to be strong, but They never promise being the Slayer will be empowering; the Watchers traditionally pretend there is no choice. Three different women chose, and chose again.

Notes:

Thanks go especially to ariestess for the beta work, and panda for the complement. (See artwork following the end of the poem.) The photomanip banner at the beginning is my work, created by playing around with screencaps in GIMP.

A/N: there are some issues right now with the <table> HTML I use for the two voice poetry sections--cutting and pasting in from Dreamwidth is not making AO3 happy--but I'll be cleaning it up within the next few days once I figure out what the bug is. In the meantime, however, please bear with the large gaps of empty space. I have no idea why they're there either. Thanks go to Sam J. of AO3 Support for help resolving the formatting issue!

Slayer Slain Slay



I.
Sing to me, Watcher, of the women supernatural,
the line unending of those Chosen to Slay.
Many mouths of hell they’ve seen and learned their ways,
many pains they’ve suffered, driven time and again
by fate, fighting to save their lives and peoples.
Write their stories, Watcher, heir to duty,
start from where you will--
 

II.
shoes
I’ve got shoes on the mind
as I stalk through gravesville
population undead’s going down
don’t tell Xander
but I’m thinking about
superheroes--superheroines? super women heroes?
superheroes-who-are-women
and how they always
fight in heels
it’s totally not fair
they must have their heels glued to their feet
to pull it off
Giles insists I’ll break my neck
if I keep trying
Slaying: not for the weak of wardrobe
real clothes and monster goo non-mixy things
so I hide Giles-approved outfits deep in my closet
including sneakers
pathetic much?
Willow doesn’t get it
(style’s not her strong suit)
I feel good when I look good
(I’m not trying to impress the vamps)
anyway, sneakers make me look short
This just in
All Slay and no play makes Buffy sad
next thing you know I’ll be wearing tweed
III.
The Master free!
    
so dead


he’ll kill everyone


so much for being the hero


here i am dying

I dream her dying
strength drowning

do you want to be strong?
No!

yes
no

Yes!
i can’t

I can
this meant to be?

meant to be
so pitiful

a poor death
sorry, Giles

I will do better
i screwed up

I will go out fighting
Slayer slain

Slaying many evil beings
don’t want

my sisters will dream of me
please

glory undying I will live, live, live
oh god

forever and ever yes
too young

the unbroken chain
not like this

they will remember me
air

honor me, I will inspire
no

Mr. Zabuto sir


I have been Chosen!



(the Slayer is dead)


(long live the Slayer)




IV.
O monsters all run away
For she’s trained and out to kill
The Slayer’s gift is to Slay
Watch her work both night and day
‘Pointy’ is her stake and skill
O monsters all run away
Chosen she is here to stay
Her past sisters’ shoes to fill
The Slayer’s gift is to Slay
Duty has the final say
It she fearless will fulfill
O monsters all run away
Feelings lead one far astray
Such distractions do one ill
The Slayer’s gift is to Slay
Watcher tells her to obey
Calling’s honor demands will
O monsters all run away
The Slayer’s gift is to Slay.

V.

look, Pink Ranger
          
 
I’m the Slayer, you’re
 
 
the spare
 
 
we don’t need you here
 
 
 
 
Mr. Zabuto sent me here
 
 
dere is a dark power risin’
 
 
Buffy, dere’s no need for ya fear
 
 
t’ough ya boyfriend be surprisin’
no friends? no family?
 
 
Miss Perfect Slayer,
 
 
I know you have emotions
 
 
somewhere
 
 
 
 
emotion be weakness to Slay
 
 
dere’s no room for fightin’ yaself
 
 
when fightin’ monsters: make dem pay
 
 
put all ya feelings on a shelf
anger does not
 
 
to the Dark Side lead
 
 
passion makes a better fighter
 
 
 
 
when dis is over
 
 
will you show me how to use
 
 
a crossbow?
hold the fort: I have
 
 
to rescue Angel
 
 
 
 
ya are a fool
I have to--
 
 
 
VI.
even de tought of
me sisters not break de spell
her eyes sing me
(peace)
 
VII.
There was a poor girl from Boston
who became suddenly awesome
Kakistos then came
and much to her shame
she couldn’t make murder cost him.
There once was a Slayer named Faith
to Buffy she ran to be safe
once there, pretended
nothing upended
an act which they swallowed on faith.
There once was a truth five by five
that Faith feared she wouldn’t survive
but they didn’t see
she needed to be
accepted in order to thrive.
There was a Young Lady distressed
who by Wesley was not impressed
he was quite the fool
to stick by the rule
and soon was the one most distressed.
 
VIII.

 
      
Want, take, have
 
 
that’s my motto
Uh, Faith, I think the nice vampire’s
 
 
dead now, you can stop
 
 
 
 
come on, Buffy, loosen up a little
 
 
aren’t you tired of being
 
 
Miss Goodie Two Shoes all the time?
I’m not boring!
 
 
I do exciting things
 
 
like wear sneakers
 
 
 
 
Want, take, have
 
 
say it, Buffy
 
 
don’t we deserve it?
 
 
they owe us
La la la
 
 
I’m not listening
 
 
 
 
want, take, have
 
 
live a little, princess
I’ve already died once
 
 
 
 
want, take, have
want, take, have
 
want, take, have
want that crossbow
 
want that crossbow
take that crossbow
 
take that crossbow
have that crossbow
 
have that crossbow
kick ass
 
 
 
 
five by five
 
 
we’re superior
yes
 
 
 
 
what am I doing?
 
 
 
 
doing what feels good
this doesn’t feel good
 
 
this is bad
 
 
bad Buffy bad
 
 
 
 
fuck rules
 
 
fuck Watchers,
 
 
fuck destiny
 
 
girl deserves a break now and then
oh shit oh shit oh shit
 
 
I can’t do this
 
 
sorry, Faith, but
 
 
what the hell do you think you’re doing?
 
 
 
 
want, take, have
 
 
fuck you, golden girl
 
 
I’m been a have-not
 
 
and I’m not going back ever again


IX.
A Slayer’s duty
is to Slay; her Watcher she
must always obey
Wesley, you prick, you’ve driven
her away; the Watcher’s job--
A Watcher’s duty
is to direct; the Slayer
needs not be correct
Listen to me, you bastard
it’s all your fault she’s gone rogue
Sometimes a firm hand’s
necessary; a Watcher
must not love his charge
if you don’t love her, you have
failed in your most sacred charge
I don’t understand
the Council says quite clearly
to keep one’s distance
you know what? screw you, and
screw the Council; I’ve had it
But Giles, I need you!
I mean, I am a fully
capable Watcher--
Watcher’s duty is protect;
Slayer lives for more than Slay
Death her future and
her gift; strength a trap--
Watchers abuse it
Sing to me a better path
Sing her more than just a dream.
 







panda's complement