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The First Time (Basically)

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"I can't believe I'm finally doing this."

"Mmm," Remus murmured. "Nor can I. It wasn't so very long ago that you were my student."

Neville, in a moment of uncharacteristic initiative, grasped Remus's chin and pulled him in for a kiss.

"But I'm grown up now," Neville said as they separated slightly, his hot breath tickling Remus's face as he spoke. A hand snaked down his front to settle over Remus's still-clothed erection, which jerked up slightly at the attention. Remus drew in a sharp breath.

"Yes," Remus admitted, "you are indeed."

From there it was all desperate tearing of clothing and fistfuls of hair being grabbed almost painfully. Yet somehow, even though it was as fast and awkward as if they were both insecure teenagers with more hormones than time to take care of them once again, it was absolutely perfect. It had been 'look but don't touch' between them for far too long, and the eventual breaking of that barrier was more than welcome.

Once Neville yanked down his briefs, the last article of clothing remaining between them, Remus grabbed Neville's hips and pulled them together firmly, attempting to grind their erections together just a little without startling Neville too much. It was his first time; Remus knew from experience that not going slow could end catastrophically.

"Are you ready?" Remus asked.

"I feel ready," Neville said. "I just don't know exactly what for."

Remus smiled encouragingly. "Then I'll show you."

Their lips met and Remus allowed his hand to slide from Neville's jutting hipbone to the dip of his arse cheek. One finger ran over Neville's hole for barely a second before breaching it slightly, though carefully as it wasn't yet lubricated.

Instead of the shiver of nervous pleasure he'd expected, Remus received what was bound to turn into a bruised cheek as Neville yelped and accidentally head butted him in his hurry to scuttle away.

"Neville?" Remus asked hesitantly.

Neville wouldn't look at him. His eyes were lowered to the ground in shame. In that moment, Remus thought he looked thirteen and posed to face his first Boggart again.

He felt unbelievably old.

"Sorry," Neville muttered. "Just, could we do something else?"

"Of course we can," Remus said. "Anything you want."

"I want to touch you."

Remus thought that sounded like a wonderful idea, and he made sure to let Neville know as much in the form of a loud moan when a hand reached out and grasped his cock.

The angle was slightly wrong, as was the rhythm, but the knowledge that it was Neville with his hands on Remus's body somehow still made it better than any amount of jerking himself off.

"Can I touch you again?" Remus asked hesitantly.

Neville bit his lip, but then nodded.

Remus brought his hand to Neville's cock to reciprocate, his other hand finding Neville's sack and kneading it just enough to prompt a gasp.

"Is this all right still?" Remus asked.

"Yeah," Neville breathed. "It's brilliant."

Remus's finger extended a little further back to touch Neville's perineum. Neville shoved him away again, looking dismayed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I just… I can't do that."

Remus nodded quickly. "That's fine. I won't touch you there again, I promise."

Neville shook his head. "I want you to. I do, really. It's just …"

Their eyes met, and Remus saw emotional pain of the kind that no one Neville's age – no one at all, really – should ever have to know about, let alone carry like a constant burden.

"I lied," Neville whispered. "This isn't my first time. Exactly."

The realisation of what Neville was telling him should have come as a shock, but somehow it didn't. In fact, it explained a lot. Remus almost wanted to ask Neville who it had been, and how young he'd been at the time, but he was quite honestly afraid of the answer.

He was afraid that it would make him feel even more like he was taking advantage than he already did.

"It is your first time, if you want it to be," Remus insisted stubbornly instead. "In every way that matters, it is."

Neville seemed unsure.

"Would you like to fuck me?" Remus offered. "It would definitely be your first time doing that, right?"

Neville looked hopeful. "You don't mind?"

"Of course not. I want you to."

"Er, okay. You're right, though, it would be my first time, um, topping. You might have to, you know, let me know if I'm doing okay."

Remus smiled indulgently. "Neville, I may not be your Professor anymore, but I'm still a teacher by nature. A little instruction and praise when you do well is hardly out of the question."

Neville snickered, suddenly seeming – to Remus's great relief – more comfortable once again. "That's sounds very pervy, I hope you know. But also really good."

"Well," he said, his voice dropping down to what he hoped was a seductive tone, "if it's pervy you want, talking and instruction during sex can have some… interesting outcomes, if one does it right."

Neville shivered and let Remus pull him close once more.