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Ear To The Keyhole: Part Two

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Author's notes: Post-Serenity.

Ear To The Keyhole: Part Two

Ear To The Keyhole: Part Two

I love playing with other people's toys. These happen to belong to Joss Whedon, Universal and Fox, and I occasionally take them out of their box and make them do things for my own amusement. Such frolicking makes me no money whatsoever and steals an awful lot of my time. Lastly, I heart Joss and I also heart Doug Petrie, and that "heart" means "loves, admires and profoundly respects" and also "astronauts win" and lastly, "make more tv together, dear men".

Ear to the Keyhole: Part Two
(which is really too short, but people were complaining because I left Kaylee feeling like she had poo-feet)

In which someone gets a bruised nose, Zoe's having nothing to do with it, and Mal is a really fun guy.

Six hours later, Kaylee walked into the mess to see River, Simon and Jayne at breakfast, all bright-faced and cheery. Her shoulders tensed up. The hotplate with its kettle of oatmeal seemed an agonizingly long way away. And the moment of them noticing her would have been all kinds of awful had River not whipped her head around sharply at Kaylee's entrance and crowed her name.

"Hey darlin'," Kaylee rejoined, weakly. River jumped up from the table and skipped over to join her at the hot plate. Simon and Jayne had gone back to whatever story Jayne was telling.

"Morning! You should see - last night, up on the bridge - " and then River dropped her voice "He doesn't know you were there. Don't worry."

Kaylee flushed. "You sure?"

River rolled her eyes. "My brother can't keep anything from me, even when he knows I'm looking."

"Can you bring me over more of that, li'l Kaylee?" Jayne called from the table.

"Sure thing, big Jayne."

"Big huge Jayne," added River, almost as an afterthought. And Kaylee, watching Simon choke on his cereal and cough furiously, felt infinitely more cheerful.

Later, on her way to check the cargo bay for a missing wrench, Kaylee turned a corner too quick and bumped her nose smack into - "Watch it, Kaylee. Hear yer prone to trippin'," Jayne was grinning, had caught her 'round the waist to keep her from falling down.

"Sorry - still feelin' some of the morning after." Kaylee made to move away, but Jayne's hands - large hands; warm, Kaylee noted - stayed on her hips a minute too long. She put hers on top to shove them off. "I can keep upright by my own self."

Jayne's hands didn't move, and Kaylee discovered to her horror that she wasn't shoving, that she was pressing his hands firmly, keepin' them locked on her hipbones.

Jayne's head tipped down to look at them, tipped back up. "You sure about that?" He was looking at her mouth, Kaylee saw, panicking; he was - wait, no - yes - he was licking his lips.

"Jayne!" Mal's voice was crackling over the com from the bridge. "Need yer bulk to impress our capability on a new customer."

Kaylee whirled away in relief, took off down the corridor. "Hey!" Jayne was startled. "Kaylee!" But she had ducked under the bulkhead and fled to the cargo bay.

"Now Jayne!" Mal was sounding tetchy.

"Heard ya the first time!" Jayne was feeling a mite tetchy too.

Inara had docked ten minutes previously. Usually Kaylee waited for her to straighten things up, put away things that might make Mal mad (or put out things that might make Mal mad), waited for her to duck down to the engine room and invite Kaylee over for tea. This time, though, she might as well have been Mal, bursting through the door.

"'Nara!" It was almost a wail.

Inara was brushing her hair in front of a mirror, but she lost the mask of tranquility immediately, snapped round - "What's wrong?"

"Jayne wants me!" And it sounded so silly, coming out in a tragic sob, that Inara couldn't help it - she snorted. And Kaylee started giggling, and then they were both roaring with it - Kaylee gasping, bent over with laughter, and Inara almost crying.

"Jayne..." Inara couldn't catch her breath. "Jayne wants...."

"ME! And," and Kaylee was hiccuping now, "andImightwanthimtoomaybejustalittle."

Inara's laugh died in her mouth. "You what?"

Kaylee clutched a pillow over her face and fell back on the bed.

"Hey Zoe?"

Zoe was in the mess, carefully and steadily eating soup. "Mm?" not looking up.

"I got a sex problem. Thought you might be able to help."

Zoe snapped to immediately, looked at Jayne with raised eyebrows.

"Best be careful what comes out o' your mouth after that," she said, dryly.

"I'm fucking Simon."

"Walls are thin, Jayne. Knew that already."

Oh. "Mal know?"

"Hasn't said."

Jayne was unsettled for a minute.

"I like fucking Simon."

"Gathered that, too."

"Kaylee's acting weird about it."

"Yeh-so!" Zoe swore. "You told Kaylee?"

"Nope. She saw."

Zoe stared at him for a minute.

"Jayne Cobb, I'm having nothing to do with the muck you're in."

"She wanted to see!" but Zoe was getting up from the table to put her dishes in the sink.

"Nothing to do with it, Jayne," and she was out the door.

"Gorram!" Jayne stared after her, frustrated. "Well, I sure as hell ain't asking River."

"I got a sex problem. Thought you might be able to help." Jayne couldn't believe he was saying this.

River pulled her knees up in the pilot's console, cocked her head to one side. "Simon or Kaylee."

"Well," Jayne objected, "was kinda hoping didn't have to be 'or'."

"Same magnetic pull. Repel each other." River couldn't believe he was that dense.

"Didn't mean at the same time." Jayne was sounding sheepish.

"Did too."

"Not really." He knew it sounded weak. "Hey, it worked before!"

River rolled her eyes. "Parasitic. One gets all the benefit, other part, last none. Kaylee's the oak tree."

"And I'm the mold." Girl made sense at the most annoying times, Jayne thought.

"Mushroom. Fungus. Fungi."

"Who's a fun guy?" Mal was walking onto the bridge.

"You've been real helpful, River," Jayne grumbled, getting up to leave.

"Jayne." And she was standing beside him, serious-eyed. "Just wait. Won't take long. One belongs elsewhere."

"Wait," Mal called as they both left. "Am I the fun guy?" He picked up a Stegosaurus from the flight console. "I am such a fun guy." Jayne and Kaylee were out of earshot. "Roar."

Part III coming sometime later this week! Can't promise yet what will happen, but I suspect sex.







Title:  Ear To The Keyhole: Part Two
Series Name:  Ear To The Keyhole
Author:  merrily
Details:  Work-In-Progress  |  PG  |  het *slash*  |  6k  |  01/30/06
Characters:  Kaylee, Jayne
Pairings:  Simon/Jayne (implied), Kaylee/Jayne (not quite yet)
Summary:  "Jayne." And she was standing beside him, serious-eyed. "Just wait. Won't take long. One belongs elsewhere."
I don't know how it got this silly, but it totally is, despite the quote I pulled to summarize.
Notes:  Post-Serenity.