The thing is, Stiles doesn’t quite know how to approach the topic.
He and Derek have been married for almost two years now, after having been in a relationship for five, and they’re finally in a good place to start discussing the whole kids thing. Stiles isn’t stupid. He knows Derek has always been on edge when it came to starting a family after what happened to his own. It had practically taken Stiles a full year to convince Derek that he deserved a chance at happiness before Derek had finally agreed to go on a date with him. It had taken another full year for Derek to get it through his thick-but-admittedly-pretty skull that Stiles was in it for real—
(“For realsies,” Derek had repeated flatly. Stiles gave him a dazzling smile, all the while sliding his arms around Derek’s waist and pecking him just under his jaw.
“Yep. You and me both. I’m in this relationship for realsies,” Stiles smirks.
“Nope. No deal. I’m not staying in a relationship with an idiot who can’t say ‘for real’ properly,” Derek quipped, leaning away. But there was a smile on his face when he was moving away obviously, Derek’s just saying stupidness.)
—but he had finally managed to convince Sir Grumpywolf that he was all in.
But now, Stiles wants kids. Or at least he wants to know that kids are in the future. Normally, he wouldn’t be so stuck on one thing but it’s only a week till Christmas, which means everywhere he looks, all he sees are happy families. Everywhere. Seriously, he’s not joking. He goes out for coffee and there’s families with kids there. He goes grocery shopping and yep, more kids. Same with going to the bank and to the movie theatre. Hell, sometimes he’ll go to see his dad and Melissa at their old house and he’ll pass like five different sets of parents out on the sidewalk with strollers.
Really, the only place Stiles hasn’t seen babies is the gym and Stiles can’t live at the gym, okay? It’s Stiles after all.
(The only reason he was even there in the first place was to pick up Derek because the Camaro had broken down on him.)
“I want a baby,” Stiles blurts, eyeing yet another mom out for a walk with yet another baby stroller. Beside him, his dad coughs.
“Um - what,” his dad asks, once he can manage to speak again.
“Baby. I want one,” Stiles repeats, glaring at the floor.
“Uh, okay?” His dad manages to say yet again.
“But I just - I don’t know how to talk about this with Derek, y’know? How’d you and mom talk about having me?”
His dad’s eyes soften and a small smile curls on his lips as he looks ahead of him. “Your mom actually had a whole big plan. I just happened to fall into it at the right time.”
“What do you mean?” Stiles frowns.
“I met you mom in college and as soon as we celebrated our second anniversary, she sat me down and told me how she always pictured her life. She figured if we had made it to two years that we were going to make it forever,” his dad laughs.
“She wasn’t wrong about that part,” Stiles offers, joining in for a laugh.
“No, she wasn’t. Your mom - she was the kind of a woman who knew exactly what she wanted in life. You’re a lot like her, you know. Once either of you set your minds to something, there’s no deterring you. She knew she wanted to be married by the time she was twenty-five and wanted at least one kid by twenty-eight. She had everything planned out. I was the guy who caught her attention long enough for her to decide she wants me in the plan too.”
“Well you did happen to create something kind of perfect,” Stiles smirks, moving away when his dad tries to swat at him. “So I guess I just have to talk to Derek about this, huh?”
His dad gives him a wry smile.
“I’ve seen the man around you. He’s a pool of melted water when it comes to you and I’ve seen this again and again,” his dad begins, peering at him. Stiles feels his face grow warm. “If you want kids, he’ll give you five.”
“Kid, Derek would give you the moon if he could,” his dad says with so much confidence that it surprises Stiles. Not because he doesn’t think it’s true but because he didn’t think anyone else could see it too.
“Yeah,” Stiles smiles to himself.
“Hey, did you hear the news?” Stiles asks, flipping the newspaper down to look at Derek.
“Nope. Too busy making you breakfast and all,” Derek smirks, turning his head around.
“Funny. Not my fault you don’t like it when I make breakfast,” Stiles replies, sticking his tongue out at him.
“Yes, how dare I not like the taste of burnt bacon and lumpy pancakes,” Derek says dryly. “Oh, let’s not forget the wonderfully overly buttered toast.”
“I’ll butter your toast alright,” Stiles smirks, leering, before pausing. Derek raises an eyebrow at him.
“Wow, that was bad,” he remarks.
Stiles winces. “Yeah, actually, can you insult my breakfast making skills again so I can think of something more witty?”
Derek huffs, rolling his eyes. “What’s in the news, Stiles?”
Stiles waves his hands around. “Never you mind. Something happened somewhere to some person.”
“Um - okay then.”
“But this person named Emma was involved!”
“So?” Derek frowns, turning the stove off. He scoops the scrambled eggs onto a plate before placing it in between him and Stiles and handing Stiles a fork. Stiles shoves the paper to the side and immediately begins to shove a forkful of eggs into his mouth.
“Don’t you think it’s a nice name?” Stiles asks, once he’s chewed what’s in his mouth.
“I guess?” Derek asks, confused and yes, sure, it’s for a very obvious reason.
“Like in general, y’know. It’s a nice name right? Got a nice ring to it?”
“Um - just - what.”
Stiles colours. “I just think names are important. For the future. Like, you wouldn’t want to vote for a President who’s named like Bert or Earnie, would you?”
Derek leans back in his chair, looks at him silently. “One of the Democrat candidate’s name is Bernie,” he opts to say.
“Right,” Stiles fumbles. He gives a shaky grin.
“Sure, Stiles, Emma is a cool name,” Derek says finally, when it becomes apparent that Stiles isn’t going to continue.
“Right,” Stiles nods furiously. “So is Leia, right?”
“Stiles,” Derek starts patiently. “Why are we talking about names? And Leia? Really?”
“Hey, it’s an awesome name, okay!” Stiles defends automatically. “And um - because names are—“
“Important, yes. So you’ve said,” Derek finishes frankly. “Am I missing something? Is there something you’d like to discuss?”
Derek sits there, waiting patiently for Stiles to say something - anything - but Stiles balks under the pressure. “No,” he mumbles, before shoving more eggs into his mouth.
Over the next few days, Stiles makes multiple references to having kids.
Derek doesn’t pick up on any of them. That could also be because Stiles usually starts off with something seemingly random and weird and Derek just stares at him trying to decide if it’s worth his effort to ask Stiles to explain himself but almost always just nods instead.
There was that time that Stiles and Derek had headed off to the mall for some last minute Christmas shopping and Stiles had dragged Derek into the children’s store, pointing out all the cute toys and big masterful creations of cribs and rocking chairs.
“Isn’t this stain just gorgeous?” Stiles asks, awed at the beautiful deep mahogany crib.
“Oh, look! It’s a wolf plush! Isn’t it just the cutest?” Stiles exclaims, immediately dragging Derek to the next aisle and grabbing at the one of the black wolves sitting on the shelf.
“I don’t understand why we’re here - wait,” Derek widens his eyes. Stiles looks at him hopefully. Maybe Derek has finally clued in and he’ll bring up the topic himself. Stiles gives himself a mental pat on the back. Score one for Stilinski! “Is Allison pregnant?” Derek asks, gaping.
Stiles mentally facepalms.
Then, there was that time when Stiles and Derek went to the grocery store and Stiles pointed out how cute a baby was.
“Derek, look at the itty bitty fingers!” Stiles gushes, practically giving the baby heart eyes. Derek peers at the baby for all of five seconds before shrugging and going back to deciding between the Cheerios or Lucky Charms. Honestly, Stiles doesn’t even know why Derek pretends to decide between the two. Everyone and their mother knows of Derek’s sweet tooth; the man has never bought any cereal other than Lucky Charms in his life.
Stiles is still internally flailing at the baby, still making heart eyes, when Derek flings the box of Lucky Charms into their shopping cart. He frowns at Stiles.
“Stop looking at the baby like that! It’s creepy,” Derek mutters, before walking off.
“Hey, how old were your parents when they had Laura?” Stiles asks randomly one time when they’re settling into bed.
Derek furrows his brows, winding an arm around Stiles as he puts his head on Derek’s chest, revelling in the natural warmth of his body.
“I’m not sure. Late twenties, early thirties, maybe? They always wanted to travel around for a few years and enjoy their life before they settled down,” Derek answers.
“Well both of them wanted a big family but they also knew that if they had more than one kid, they wouldn’t be able to do the things they really want to until all of us were grown up and out of the house. The last thing they wanted was to sacrifice being around us just to fulfil some points on their bucket list.”
“Makes sense,” Stiles mutters.
Maybe that’s what Derek’s waiting for, he realizes. Sure, he and Derek might be in a great place for work but maybe Derek wants to travel around, see the world, check some things off his bucket list before settling down with kids. Suddenly, Stiles feels like crap because this is something he should have seen coming. Even now, when he tries to think of everything Derek told him he wanted in the past seven years, he can’t remember Derek ever mentioning something he really wants to do for himself. It was always about what Stiles wanted. Derek had always maintained that he wants what Stiles wants because he wants Stiles above everything else. And sure, that’s plenty romantic but it occurs to Stiles now that he should have placed equal importance on what Derek wants too.
Stiles looks up at Derek.
“Hey, I never asked you before. What do you want?”
Derek frowns. “What do you mean?”
“Like what’s on your bucket list. What do you want to do?”
“I want you. And I have you. That’s it,” Derek answers simply. But no, that’s not it. Stiles sits up on his knees, turning around so he faces Derek. He stares at his husband with determination.
“No, Derek, I’m serious. You always make sure I have everything I want. But I never asked you the same. What do you want to do? Do you want to take off for a year and travel? Do you want any pets? Did you even want to live in Beacon Hills?”
Derek tilts his head, looking at Stiles with thoughtful eyes. His face softens after a bit and he leans forward to grab Stiles’s face with both hands. Derek pulls him forward, gives him a slow, gentle kiss; the kind that just melted Stiles into a puddle of goo and that made his heart feel like it was going to burst out of his chest. Derek pulls away, leaning back just enough to stare at Stiles, gaze unwavering.
“After the kind of childhood I had, I wanted nothing more than to be happy. To be normal. I wanted to feel happy about myself, wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror everyday, wanted to be able to fall asleep without being chased by my demons. With you, I got all of that. You’re the only person who made me believe I am worth something good in the world. You’re the only person who cared enough to pull me out of the dark and show me that I deserve happiness too. That I deserve to be loved,” Derek says, voice steady.
Something curls in Stiles’s stomach and his fingers shake with the weight of what Derek is telling him.
“So when I say that you’re all I want, I’m being honest. Because when I have you, I know that I’m capable of having everything else,” Derek finishes, smiling slightly. “I don’t need anything else.”
Stiles surges forward, capturing Derek’s lips with his own once again. This time, the kiss is more fierce, more wet than before. Neither of them have many moments where they get so emotional and because of that, they’ve learnt to convey their emotions through actions. Stiles kisses Derek deeper, sliding his hands around the nape of his neck, moving closer before swinging a leg over Derek and straddling him. Derek moves his hands down Stiles’s sides to cup at his ass, pulls Stiles even closer to him, groaning into the kiss when Stiles begins to rock down on him.
“I love you so much,” Stiles whispers into his mouth.
“Love you too.”
On Christmas Day, Stiles wakes Derek up with a blowjob that nearly moves Derek to tears. That may or may not lead Stiles to high-five himself while Derek looks like he’s questioning all of his life decisions but they both know it’s a front.
“Presents!” Stiles squeals, flying downstairs at the speed of light once he’s finished brushing his teeth. He’s already divided the presents between him and Derek by the time Derek finally makes it downstairs. His dad, Melissa, Scott, and Allison would be here in a couple of hours so they can open rest of the presents together as a family but Stiles and Derek always do a gift exchange themselves before everyone else gets there.
They take turns opening all the presents; Stiles shrieks and jumps up and down where he’s sitting when he sees a whole new set of Xbox games Derek had gotten him. Derek grins widely at the five different cashmere sweaters Stiles had gotten for him. There’s a couple more they open before leaving the rest to open when the rest of the family gets to their place and Stiles is about to get up to get started on his famous Christmas hot chocolate before Derek smirks and slides a small box in front of him.
“What’s this?” Stiles asks, shaking the box furiously by his ear to see if he can gauge what’s in it. The box is small, gift-wrapped in pictures of cats wearing Christmas hats, and fairly light. He frowns to himself.
“Open it, dumbass,” Derek laughs, as Stiles rips away at the wrapping paper. He opens the small mistletoe-decorated box, frowning harder when all he sees is a folded piece of paper. He opens it, reading what’s written inside - Close your eyes - and looks up at Derek with furrowed brows. Derek gives him an expectant look so Stiles closes his eyes, huffing as he does so. He hears Derek get up and walk away. Stiles peeks open his eyes, glancing around the room. It’s only a minute later that he hears Derek’s footsteps coming closer so he whips his head back around and closes his eyes again in anticipation.
“Hold out your hands,” Derek instructs.
“I’m so confused,” Stiles remarks but follows the instructions regardless. At first, there’s just empty air but soon, he feels a solid, unexpected weight on them; weight that’s a result of something furry and moving and - is that a meow?
His eyes fly open and he gapes at the tiniest, possibly the cutest things he’s ever seen in his life, staring back at him.
“It’s a kitten!” Stiles shrieks. At once, the kitten meows back at him, purring contently when he scratches it behind the ear. Stiles brings the kitten closer to his chest, nuzzling it. In front of him, Derek smiles, large and wide. The kitten is a soft brown colour with dark brown spots painted all over it and it has the cutest, largest blue eyes Stiles has ever seen. There’s a big dark red tag loosely tied around one of the front legs and Stiles shifts the kitten just slightly so he can read what’s written on it.
Hi, my name is Leia. I hope you like me.
“I love her,” Stiles smiles, bright and easy, at Derek.
“She’s practice,” Derek says, sitting back down beside Stiles. The kitten purrs happily as they both scratch her behind her ear.
“She needs practice for what?” Stiles asks, making googly eyes at Leia.
“Stiles,” Derek says, waiting until Stiles looks at him. “She’s practice.” This time, he says it with an expectant look on his face and suddenly it clicks in Stiles’s head.
“Are you serious?” he whispers, mouth wide open at the thought.
Derek leans in, kisses him slowly, sweetly.
“I love you,” Stiles says, smiling wetly.
“I know,” Derek smirks, laughing when Stiles swats at him.