1 - 20 of 21 Works in SS Rosemary/Hilbert

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Set in an AU where Volgograd didn’t happen and Dmitri Vologin winds up in academia instead of doing sketchy experiments for the government/Goddard. Started as a mix of sketchy comics (which can be found linked as a related work) and a bunch of text snippets that I’ve been trying to hack into something reasonable, posted on its own because it can kinda stand on its own and is seasonally appropriate. 1000-ish words of nonsense domestic fluff with a very different AU Hilbert.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,117
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    3
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Snippets from Rosemary's perspective in The Way They Lived, written while putting off writing new chapters of that, posted here because this is the ridiculous ship account.

    Also putting the porny bits here so I can keep the companion fic PG-13.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,572
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    5
  3. Tags
    Summary

    At the moment of his death, Alexander Hilbert finds himself waking up in the past, on the day he arrived at Goddard Futuristics.

    Now, he wants to make sure that all of his crew mates who died on Hephaestus Station stay alive this time around... and he enlists the help of some old friends at Goddard, several of whom were long-dead, to make this happen.

    (This fic is going to make heavy use of the Terrible OCs I made for my pre-canon Hilbert at Goddard fic, along with relationships established there. You have been warned.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,987
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    66
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Mir decided to put Rosemary and Hilbert through a fairy tale simulation where Hilbert gets turned into a beast. I realized this proooooobably resulted in Rosemary having some sort of late-in-life realization that she's a furry and wound up writing this to take place in the gaps.

    Also featuring the Pryce and Carter peanut gallery, with Carter attempting to make out with Pryce when she's TRYING to do WORK, William.

    (Repost of something deleted from my other account.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,379
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    4
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Captain Isa of the USS Hephaestus and her crew are sent into what was formally the demilitarized zone between the Federation and Cardassia in order to investigate reports of a Borg presence there... and along the way, she needs to integrate former Maquis members into her crew (including an extremely attractive Klingon), manage her recalcitrant officers well enough to keep her ship running, and deal with the return of a family member she's been trying to forget she was related to for the past fifteen years.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,731
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    8
  6. Tags
    Summary

    In which: Hilbert and Lovelace are queerplatonic life partners, helping one another through lingering trauma and also figuring out their respective love lives, including Hilbert having a one night stand with a woman who turns out to be his new coworker and Lovelace getting used to having a poly girlfriend (and that girlfriend having a husband).

    Sample:

    “You WHAT?” came Isabel’s shout as soon as he answered.

    “Keep it down. Am still in her apartment. She is asleep,” Alexander hissed.

    “Her? She?”

    “Yes, her and she.” Alexander realized, suddenly, that as close as he and Isabel were, he’d never told her that he was bi… and the only people he had dated since they’d become friends were all men.

    “Huh.” There was a silence on both ends, and then Isabel added, in a teasing tone of voice, “So what’s her name?”

    “I do not know.”

    He heard a surprised exhale from the other end of the line. “Wow. When you cut loose, you really cut loose, don’t you.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,571
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    19
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Alexander Hilbert survived his second trip to Hephaestus Station, thanks to a deal he struck with the Blessed Eternal.

    And now that he’s back on Earth, he’s faced with someone from his past who isn’t going to let the addition of a plant monster stop her from being very glad he’s still alive.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,710
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    24
  8. Tags
    Summary

    An archived version of the chunks of the first (smutty) attempt at No Going Back, which I am currently revising on my other account. The current version is more what was originally envisioned when I started coming up with Terrible Goddard Employee OCs, and it reuses chunks of this (and will continue to do so), but I figure that as long as I’ve got this side account that is entirely Rosemary/Hilbert nonsense, I might as well post this version of it too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    132,842
    Chapters:
    34/34
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    4
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Eris decides to torment Elias Selberg by wearing the face of a dead woman.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,557
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    12
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Alexander Hilbert left his job as a surgeon to open up a flower shop, and has been struggling to make it work since... and struggling even more to keep up some pretense of a social life, which becomes suddenly vital to his well-being when a series of late-night deliveries turn into a serious flirtation with a woman named Rosemary. Fortunately, he’s got the backup of his employees, Renée Minkowski and Doug Eiffel, along with their part-time bookkeeper Hera Pryce, all of whom are working through issues of their own, from Renée dealing with aging parents and an absent husband, to Hera’s overbearing mother, to Doug’s extremely awkward attempts to flirt with Hera.

    (Real story: I got a misprinted Hilbert shirt with “Bad Wealth Floral” on the back and decided if I changed it to “Bad Health Floral” it would be perfectly in character. This resulted.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,999
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    6
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Set in a particularly ridiculous AU that started as ridiculous comics on my art blog. (AKA, my terrible OC is reconstituted by the Dear Listeners from the bits of her that were fed into Eris and is sent back to Earth along with Alexander Hilbert to help the rest of the gang Deal With Goddard and also All That Decima.)

    Goddard's been dealt with, but now everyone has to Deal With Feelings instead. At Disney World. (As requested by sybilius.)

    Including delights such as:
    - Minkowski now has a wife as well as a husband and both Isabel and Dom are Extremely Uncomfortable about the situation.
    - Eiffel is accidentally really good at inserting himself into awkward situations, but fortunately Hera's along with him for the ride.
    - Hilbert does not want to go to Disney World but he's willing to go as long as Rosemary's there to make fun of it with him.
    - This was supposed to be silly but really it’s just a carrier for people dealing with difficult feelings.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,482
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    49
  12. Tags
    Summary

    The missing day from the first chapter of Crash, aka pon farr nonsense with V’Ginn and Rwiari. In theory fully consensual, in practice maybe not quite.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,769
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    28
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Mir borrowed Rosemary and a few of my other OCs for The End of the Aughts and Nice Work if You Can Get It... so I borrowed that setting back for pain.

    Reposting to the nonsense account after it was deleted from my other account.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,593
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    6
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Did I write a chunk of story for this ridiculous canoe of a ship that is pretending to be a regency AU but has less in common with that era than most Romancelandia regencies do? Well, yes.

    Some making out at a masquerade ball, some using a male pseudonym to publish scientific papers, very little to do with canon.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,152
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    3
  15. Tags
    Summary

    An absolute nonsense AU which is mostly an excuse to (a) have some vague beauty and the beast thematic elements in a (b) mid-90s AU that (c) exists entirely because I would up with 11 million AUs for Hilbert and my terrible OC.

    Only tenuously connected to canon. Will eventually contain:
    -Soft Hilbert who has bad knees and a house full of plants
    -My Terrible OC, Rosemary, being way into baking bread and also being a bit of a cougar
    - Olga being a pest but also a good sister
    - Lambert being the kid of one of my other terrible OCs and being really weirded out by his aunt-by-friendship dating someone closer to his age than hers
    - Angst, so much angst, these two are real bad at Relationshipping

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,211
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    4
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Alexander Hilbert, professor of microbiology at the Goddard Institute of Technology, goes looking for a dominatrix to take care of some physical needs he’s been neglecting his entire life... and the woman he finds is unexpected in more ways than one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,843
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    10
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It's senior year for Isabel Lovelace and Alexander Hilbert at Hephaestus High School, and a last chance to get to know their fellow classmates... and for romance.

    Mostly started as an excuse to write a version of Hilbert and Rosemary as awkward teenagers, with a side of Hilbert and Lovelace being bickering best friends, but will eventually have appearances from... uh, I think I have story lines for just about everyone.

    Was originally posted on my other account, madstuart, was deleted, and is now being re-posted here because this is my Nonsense Account... and it's being rejiggered along the way so that the non-Rosemary/Hilbert stuff actually has some meat to it. Still mostly plotless high school shenanigans, but may generate plot eventually.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,168
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    13
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Doctor V'Ginn of the USS Hephaestus finds himself trapped aboard a crashed shuttle with his Captain's annoying aunt, Rwiari... and a biological process particular to Vulcans about to begin.

    ---

    At some point I'll write the rest of the Star Trek AU, but the very first part I wrote was this bit of Implied Smut involving Hilbert and my Terrible OC, so this is going up in bits and pieces while I try to make progress on the fic it's a side story to.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,889
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    71
  19. Tags
    Summary

    A Hilbert-centric pre-canon fic, with dips into the Archives for transcripts that give insight into some of the people who helped Cutter make Goddard his.

    (There was a version of this that was shippy. That version has been slagged, and I've gone back to my original outline. This will never go beyond a T rating, and is pure Early Goddard Shenanigans.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,758
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    40
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Alexander Hilbert died.

    But at Wolf 359, death isn’t as permanent as it ought to be. Not for him, and, to his surprise, not for an old friend who died two decades ago. Or at least, not when there’s a handy backup available...

    (The opening chapter/fic for a particularly self-indulgent AU.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    532
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    14

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