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Loving You

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Just as she promised she’s nothing but professional, addressing him as ‘Captain’ and do exactly as he says while they are on scene. All her paperwork is handed in and filed even more promptly. All in all she’s the perfect employee, she gives him absolutely no trouble, so much that it almost frustrates him.

Their new dynamic was not what he imagined for the two of them.

What made it even more worse was that he was pretty sure everyone at the firehouse new something was up with them.

The good new was that he had heard from Stella that Gabby had decided to leave and go back to Portue Rico, he finally had peace in that department.

He was once for all done with her, now he just needed to get Sylvie to speak to him.

The woman that he wanted, the one that made his heartbreak when she told him she was second and to stay away from him. It had been 2 weeks since that night, and although in those two weeks he’s in pain he knows that his feelings haven’t changed.

He still wanted to be with her and now he needed her to know it, no more being secretive or hiding it. The whole damn world would know how he felt about her. 

Accepting that he might need some help with trying to organise a away for her to listen to him. Waiting patiently his mind goes out of control thinking of all the possible ways their encounter could go, it had been a stressful time leading up to where he was waiting. He paced up and down he steps with his hands deep into his pockets repeating to himself what he would say. His heart knew but getting his mind to translate it was a different story, he was a man of few words and so again he finds himself having to pour his heart out to her using only words. It was difficult for him but for her he would always do his best.

It isn't until he hears her voice that he's snapped out of his pacing, she was here and it didn't sound like she wanted to be but she was here anyway.

He turns to face her and again he's blown away by her presences, there's a morning chill in the air and she looked completely adorable bundled up in her pink sweater and grey coat. 

"Stella what am I doing here? I told-." The utter discomfort is impossible to miss, granted he's sort of glad. It's the most emotion she's shown towards him in what felt like months, he'd take what he could get at this point. 

Of course he knew deep down she was annoyed with him.

He had to watch and listen from afar as she smiled, laughed, joked and talked with everyone else. He had only himself to blame.

And Gabby, but that was besides the point. 

Stella places her hands on either side of Sylvie's shoulders, stopping her attempts at leaving. "I know, I know I'm sorry for deceiving you babe, but just hear him out, I promise that's all you have to do. Once that's done if you want you call me and ill pick you up, ASAP." He was thankful to be able to get Stella to do this. 

It took some convincing and explanations but she eventually came around with Severide's help of course. She had driven the two of them to the building of where the gala was held. The minute she spotted him, she couldn't have tried to walk back fast enough.

He knew she'd not be happy with it but he was desperate and it was time to bring in reinforcements, Stella Kidd. 

Maybe because it gives them something else to do, they both turn and watch as Stella leaves, giving a minute or so before either one of them says something. 

What he wants to say and what he needs to say are two entirely different things, the situation was delicate, so he had to be. It made it difficult for him to say anything or being to start.

So he starts in away that's simple. "I'm sorry." Saying 'sorry' can go a long way and he knows he needs to say it, just as much as she deserves it. He should never have put himself in a situation where something could be taken the wrong way, It was all about what things could like. 

He would start with honesty. He had promised that much anyway. 

"For what." She shrugs her shoulder looking anywhere but at him, and if he wasn't paying such close attention to her he might have missed it. 

"For hurting you, I haven't got any excuses, nothing. I just want to say sorry without having any because, well I don't and you deserve a proper 'I'm sorry' without any excuses. How I behaved at Molly's was not constructive, it was out of character. But it was still me and I shouldn't have been there and drinking. I should been with you, I should have come to talk to you the minute I knew something was wrong. I hope to earn your forgiveness, no matter how long it takes." Letting a breath out it finally feels like he can breathe, he had tried to plan the sorry speech but this was something he just needed to say from his heart. 


Complete silence. 

She says nothing as he stares right at her. He feels incredibly vulnerable under intense eyes. 

He's thankful for the sounds of cars, people chatting and the life of Chicago passing by it helps lessen the silence between them.

“Matt, what are we doing here?” She’s frustrated and he can’t blame her, everything up until now has been his own doing. She had every right too feel the way she did.

He stretches his arms, gesturing to the space around them. The steps of the charity gala all those months ago. “This is where it happened”

Eyes squinting, and head turned to the side she’s confused. “Where what happened?”

“Where I first accepted that I was in love with you and said it out loud.” Visibly swallowing he feels anxious unsure of how this was going, all he knew was that he just had to do it before he completely lost her.


“Well not exactly on these steps but at the charity gala, inside that building when I saw you walking in with your emerald satin dress, the backless one. You were are a vision and I was blown away.” Matt recalls that night like it just happened, he’d never forgot the way he felt when she walked in. He’d remember the feeling of his heart clenching and his head spinning at the sight of her.

She opens her mouth to speak but he quickly keeps going not giving her a chance to chime in he continues, it’s important to him that she hears it all. “Later on in the night just over there, I was with Gabby and told her I was in-love and by some twist in fate you emerged from the building, standing on the steps and all I wanted to do was go to you, so I did.”

He could care less of the fact that he left Gabby standing back behind and probably watching as he walked by to Sylvie. She knew, she knew he loved her from then on and still refused to let him go.

“You remember what I was wearing?” Clocking her head to the side she questions him about her dress.

Of everything she heard that’s what she chooses to bring up. “I will never forget that, even if I wanted to. You, that dress is implanted in my brain, it was the first time I saw you like that out of uniform and paid attention. You’re beautiful Sylvie Brett, don’t forget it.”

“So you and Gabby, the other night?” She fiddles with the ruffles on her sweater, it’s a cute motion, had they not been in a serious conversation he might tell her.

”All her, there is no me and Gabby. She came by to talk to me and at first I said no, but it was dark and late so she asked me to walk her to her car and I did. It was clever because it got us talking, that was it, I was in the middle of telling her I was done when she kissed me. I was livid and I felt very uncomfortable.” Recalling the event of that night he remembers how awkward and uncomfortable he felt afterwards and mostly during the whole exchange. 

“Although what I saw upset me and hurt, I can be sorry for you, her kissing you like that and you being uncomfortable is justified." With a heavy sigh she meets his gaze, genuine concern on her face. 

"Thank you." He nods, It's a small token of something for the two of them. It's enough for him to feel somewhat relief that she at least believes he didn't want the kiss. “I’ve missed you,” he says, voice gruff. The hammering in his chest is like no other feeling. 

He's not sure how she'll take it, it might be a lot for her but if he knew one thing it was that he did miss her. 

She mumbles in response to him "I guess I missed you too." He watches as she kicks a piece of broken concrete with her boot trying hard to focus on anything but him, butterflies in stomach surface and although they had spent so much time together already in the past and he knew how she made him feel he still got the giddy feeling of being around a crush or more appropriate someone he loved. 

Looking up she notices him starting at her "Stop it." 

"Stop what?" He kicks the concrete back in her direction. 

"Looking at me like that." Waving her hand around she emphasises his face. 

Throwing his head back he lets out a laugh that he can't hold in. "I honestly can't help it." he shrugs his shoulders in honesty. "You are so gorgeous, it actually hurts sometimes." His cheeks turn pink even in the cool air he can feel the heat. 

"You're being ridiculous." Nudging him with her shoulder she shakes her head. 

Taking a step down he turns his head up, looking up at her. Just like he did the night of the gala. "Would you like to go grab some lunch with me? I know the perfect spot. Just lunch I promise." 

"Well it's a good thing I'm hungry." Putting her hand out he takes it as he leads her to his car. Taking them to the perfect lunch spot.

The perfect spot it was. They sat by the same table and had the same seats, she laughs at him for the fuss he makes over it. They eat the same things and almost spend the same amount of time there.

The elderly owners of the restaurant recognise them immediately and it brings joy to Matt’s heart even more so.

This was their spot.


The following days go by and for Matt he feels like he can finally relax and breathe again, he and Sylvie are back on good terms. Lately they had been able to make up for the lost time, spending more and more time together.

Without realising, it’s all been in secret and one their own. They hadn’t intended for it to go that way but that’s how it had happened. Admittedly he’s happy about it, it’s not that he wants to keep it a secret, it was still new and they hadn’t labeled it as anything.

The flirting has started to build up and every no and then they would catch each other staring while the other was doing something else or talking to someone. It was subtle and innocent but definitely there, it had been a long time since Matt has openly flirted this way but he couldn’t help it. 

He couldn’t stop the constant feeling of being drawn to her, the feeling of wanting to make her blush. He liked the way she would smile back at him or try to hide her smile and not notice his gaze, she was adorable. 

He stops in his tracks and notices her sitting on her bed in the bunk room, before he wanders over he takes a second to inspect the room, making sure no-one was around. He wanted to be with her even if she was just sitting on her bed doing nothing. 

”Do you have any plans this weekend?”  He whispers in her ear in shushed tones. He doesn’t miss the fact that she slightly shivers or that she jumpers a little in her spot.

Turning her head to the side he’s able to lean in further, giving him the opportunity to notice the way the hairs on the back of her neck sit up. 

“Go on a date with me?” 

“Hmm, I don’t know the las time I went on a date with you I spent the better part of a week in a hospital bed.” Although her tone is humorous he’s reminded of the horrific way their first date ended, not the way he had intended....god what a mess. 

“I don’t deserve it but, can I convince you to let me give you a do-over?” No amount of do-overs’ would ever fix that but he would do whatever he could to at least make their dates in he future not end that way. 

She turns in her spot fully facing him. “How about you come over to my apartment and cook me dinner?”

Her eyebrows wag jokingly but he thinks it’s a brilliant idea. “I like the sound of that.” 


“No getting into the back seats without telling me got it? Firm but gentle he doesn’t want a repeat of what happened months ago.

“I’ll be more careful, I promise.” 

Just like that they are off. 

It’s a complete mess when they get there, a four car pile up in the middle of the city. One of the busiest roads, cars behind not in the collision are honking and carrying on as if there isn’t a a major accident. 

It ticked them off like no other. 

Chief immediately assess the situation giving everyone orders. 

It’s like clock work how they able to get their job done. 

It takes them a few hours before they are able to clear the road and get the patients to Med. With Sylvie’s diligent work in triaging and sending off other ambulances it doesn’t take them as long as it normally would. 

He watches as everyone packs their rigs up, from the corner of his eyes he notices Sylvie close the back of her rig up. Ready to head off, of course she’s the first to be done. He smiles as he makes his way over to her wanting to quickly check up on her while the others continue with overhauling. He’ll join them eventually. 

The sound of an engine turning on and revving gathers his and the others attention. It was the kind of sound that was uncomfortable and he just knew something was about to happen, he could feel it in his bones. 

He hates to be right about this sort of thing but he’s lucky he notices it before it happens this time. In slow motion he watches as Sylvie rounds the corner about to open the rig doors and hop into the passenger seat.  

The ambo rig is parked right beside an island strip, it’s covered in grass and dirt. His feet move before he can even think of his actions, he doesn’t give himself a second to asses anything. He lunges forward, running right into the side of her body, throwing the both of them to the other side of the grassy island strip. 

He tucks her body under his as they roll, holding her even closer as he stops with him on top is her. In horror he looks up as the car that he had heard speeds right past them.

His heart is through the roof, even thought she’s securely tucked underneath him he’s silently shaken from the incident and the ‘what if’s’ start to clog his mind.

What if he hadn’t heard the car coming? What if he stopped to think before throwing himself at her? One second later and things might be different. 

In that instance everyone comes running to their aide, he knows they are there for the both of them. But he could care less about himself, looking down his wills his heart rate to come back down, reminding himself she was safe in his arms.

“Are you okay?” 

Giving her the space to look up at him, he looks for any sighs of pain. “I’m good, I’m good.” She nods vigorously and he sighs in relief as he peels himself away from her, unwillingly. 

“Crap are you guys okay?”

”Damn Casey! Nice.” 

”What the he’ll was that?”

”Nice reflex Captain.”

Everyone takes their turn checking in and compliment him. The compliments feel wrong because he would it for anyone, besides this was apart of his job wasn’t it?

”Casey, Brett! Are you good?” Chief comes up closer to them getting down to their level, doing an inspection himself. 

“We’re good chief, well I am.” He turns to look at Sylvie again, he knows he’s okay, she told him but he doesn’t want to answer for her, he knows she can. 

“All good chief, Captain Casey is my hero.” She beams at him and jumps straight back up from the ground and hold hers hand out to help him up. As if nothing happened, as if his insides aren’t flared up and his heart isn’t going into shock, she could have been seriously hurt. 

This woman. 

Everyone scatters and gets back to overhauling once they are satisfied that the two of them are okay. Although they are it doesn’t stop chief from making Foster check on them. 

Once they are back to the firehouse and everyone is elsewhere and doing their own thing. Matt looks for her, he doesn’t care anymore that he’s openly looking to be with her, no matter where she is. 

He’s about to go find Emily and ask her himself when he stops dead in his tracks again. He watches her for outside of the bunk room doors, for the second time today. Titling his head to the side he watches as she says something to herself and breathes in before opening the door to his quarters and walks in closing the door and blinds behind her. 

He couldn’t be more intrigued and excited all at once. This was new, she knew he wasn’t in there but went in anyway. 

Was it okay to assume she waiting for him? Without giving it a second thought he too talks himself up before he opens the door. 

Quickly he shuts and locks the door behind him. “Sylvie-.” He’s not given a chance to say anything else because the minute the door is shut, she throws herself at him.

It takes him a second to register what just happened and so he does his best to hold himself up. With his quarters not being the most spacious he drags his back against the door. Thankful he thought to lock it.

Neither of them say anything for a little awhile, he’s not even sure what to say right now. He knows that they are probably running on adrenaline right now but he also knows that in any other circumstance he’s always happy to hold her.

“What’s with us and car incidents?” She’s the first to break the silence, she laughs against his chest. While normally he would have thought this was wonderful feeling and it still was.

He’s definitely not in the mood to laugh. “It’s not funny gorgeous, that scared me.”

“I know Matt but I have to laugh because if I’m not laughing about it then I’ll do down a rabbit whole of ‘what ifs’ and that’s a slippery slope.”

Sighing he tucks her head under this chin as he strokes her hair, he understands what she’s saying. Of course they needed to laugh sometimes, their job was serious and if they didn’t laugh then then it’d be a slippery slope as she said.

She looks up to meet his eyes and all he wants to do is lean down and kiss her, it would be so easy, she was right there. He wouldn’t, not until she gave him an obvious sign. But he couldn’t stop thinking about what her lips would feel like against his and the way she started right back him so strong and intense how could he not think about it?

“Mind elsewhere?” She stops his train of thought before it does on.

If you only knew,  He think to myself.


If someone asked him if he was looking forward to the weekend and he said no, that would be a complete lie.

He was beyond excited.

Everyday leading up to Saturday night he had gotten something organised for their date.

Matt was an organiser, he never labeled himself as one but he definitely was. He liked to know the places he was going too and what he was doing, he always wanted to be prepared.

Standing in kitchen of her apartment he lets the tomato sauce cool off to the side before adding the spaghetti.

The table was set, the garlic bread was warm in the oven and her glass was half way filled with wine and his beer was open, the only sound was the sizzling bacon bits and the humming of the music that’s playing lightly in the background coming from Sylvie.

He stops for a second and watches as she potters around the open space, his eternally grateful for whoever designed this apartment. The living, dinning and kitchen was all one open space. It’s beautiful, well she’s beautiful.

“Dinners almost ready.”

This gathers her attention, just as he thought it would. She’d announced how hungry she was when he first arrived.

Making her way over to him she leans over to inspect his handy work. “That bacon smells amazing, I’ve never thought to add bacon to normal spaghetti before, except for carbonara.”

“I like to add the bacon because it had a bit more substance to the meal, since there’s no meat component. And it’s only in tiny pieces so it’s not that drastic.” If he had it his way he’d probably add bacon to anything.

“Oh yeah I totally get it. I mean I love bacon so add it to anything I’m all for it.” Smiling he can’t believe she just said that, did she read his mind?

Leaning over to her he leaves a small kiss on her forehead. “Go sit down, this is done.”

He watches as she takes a bite into the garlic bread, he’s about to laugh, her face is hilarious she really was hungry.

The laugh never comes out, it’s completely forgotten. The sound she makes after the bite sends shivers up and down his body, the way she moans again and again after each bit and again after taking a mouth full of the spaghetti.

“Something wrong?” She mumbles after swallowing. This was going to be a long meal if she didn’t stop.

This time he does laugh, how could she not ok now what she was doing to him? “Nothing, absolutely nothing. I’m just glad you seem to like it.”

He’s given the answer through the moan makes again and the thumbs up she gives him.

Dinner is a breeze as they spend their time chatting about anything and everything. For some reason it feels like a typical night, cooking her dinner and eating together. It feels like they should have been doing this all along, he wants to kick himself for all the time he wasted wandering what if and distancing himself. 

But he reminds himself that this was the way it happened for them, it had to be like this for him to realise he wanted to be with her. 

He insists on her not cleaning up but she fights him on it and wins, it didn’t take long anyway, she insisted on the dishwasher. 

It’s 9:30pm when he notices the time, he’d been here for awhile now and he wasn’t keen on having to leave anytime soon. They were in the middle of watching bad reality tv, mostly commenting on how ridiculous these shows where but how much of a guilty pleasure. 

Its 9:45pm when he feels her scoot closer to him, trying to adjust herself so her legs didn’t touch him. Pulling her legs up across his lap, he doesn’t care. 

At 9:55pm he drags her body closer to his. 

Paying no mind to the tv he watches as she laughed at whatever girl was having a melt down at the most ridiculous thing. He feels her squirming every now and then trying to get comfortable around him. 

Finally he can she’s had enough, she sit ups.

“Sorry Matt I’m obviously a little restless.”

“Don’t be, I get it.” God damn was he so restless, he practically had to shove one of his hands into his pant pockets to stop them from wandering.

Peering at him she catches that he is already staring right back at her, their gazes falling on each other’s lips. Patting the space beside him he gestures for her to sit closer, it’s bold but she doesn’t think twice about it. 

They settle back into watching the tv, but again he pays no mind to it and maybe she doesn’t either. Her fingers are tapping her knee and she’s definitely snuggled herself further into his side. 

He swallows as he slowly glances down at her, she raises her head at the same rime and it’s like he’s a mouth drawn to a flame, he lowers his head head meet her half-way. All she would need to do is meet him there and both their lips would connect.

This was his way of saying it without saying it. 

She doesn’t bother to meet him half-way she just kisses him. Her lips are soft and plump against his, her scent completely covering him. 

Her perfume reminds him of being in an open, airy field filled with wild-flowers.

Mouths closed as they continue to kiss, slowly and soft, they tread lightly but my goodness he couldn’t get enough of her. 

Using one hand he lets it rest behind her neck, pulling her even closer with the other he wanders down to her back guiding her backwards into the couch.  

Her legs tuck around him as he does his best to keep his full weight off of her. She whimpers as he drags his kiss along her jaw line and back up to her lips. 

“Is this okay?” Finally he spots all movement, looking her right in the eyes. He needed to hear that she was okay. 

“Yes, please don’t stop.” Pull his head back down he resumes the kissing. 

God this was going to be his undoing, he was flushed and very turned on. Granted it had been a long, long, long time since he’d been intimate with a woman. He’s so glad he hadn’t been while he was figuring out his his feelings for her. 

She was beyond worth it, in every aspect. 

Bunching then fabric of her sweater his hand strokes up and down the flesh of her soft skin. She surprises him by pull her legs right around him, pulling him down. He happily obliges her movements bring his hips down to meet hers. 

Grunting he keeps the movement going, her whimpers and moans encouraging him.  

Both their hearts raised as things continued, learning the feel of her touch and body was something he wanted to do forever, he would get familiar with it and never forget the way she responded to him. 

How could he ever forget? She was completely radiant and mesmerising. “Want to take this somewhere more comfortable?” 

Pulling back again to get another good look at her, he makes sure he heard correctly scanning her face for any indication that she changed her mind. It’s as if she can hear his thoughts because she nods up and down as she wraps her hands around his neck. 

In an instant he pulls them up and lifts her legs to sit around his waist as he makes his way down the hall.

“Oh, Matt put me down I’m too heavy for this.” 

He stops dead in his tracks, pushing her back against the wall and scooting her legs further up.


Matt doesn’t swear often, he save that for when he can’t think of any other words to describe his emotions. Right now he’s so pent up and wants to be mad that she would ever dare say something like that about herself. 

But this was new territory for them so he had to be careful. “I’m sorry, your joking right?”

She does her best to try and squirm her way out of his hold, but his grip is like vice. He couldn’t let go even if he wanted too. 

She’s clearly a little taken back and embarrassed. “Sylvie, goddam.” He sighs, he loved leaning new things about her, and as much as he hated that she thought of her self as ‘too heavy’ he’s glad he knows now, because no he can make an effort to tell her she’s beautiful more often. 

“Just put me down, I’m sorry.” Again she squirms in his arms. 

He hoist her up and tightens his grip, in the most gentle way he can. He kisses her neck and around her jaw line before responding. “Don’t be sorry, I respectfully disagree, you are perfect just like this.” 

Using one hand he lets go of her so he can bring her chin up, their eyes meeting. “You are much lighter than my turnout gear, oxygen supply, and everything else I carry on a regular basis before going into a burning building.” 

“Second door on the left.” 

He takes a pause to give her a genuine smile, almost not hearing exactly what she had just said. She was such a beautiful distraction. 


“My bedroom, it’s the second door on the left.” She clarifies for him before he can even ask if she wanted to stop.

With the encouragement and confidence she gives him, he takes his strides to her bedroom quickly and somehow opens her door even quicker. 

Kicking it with behind him with his foot, it shuts. 

He doesn’t assume or makes any presumptions about what happens next. She might just want cuddles? And to be honest he’d be just as happy with that. 

Who didn’t like cuddles? He definitely did.