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anything, forever

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Fong, with Phuak and Ohm, was standing on the middle of the crowd since the second band was preparing for their performance. And as long as he remembers, there are three other more performance before it's finally Sarawat's band turn.

He didn't mind though, just his luck, all of the band's choices of songs are his cup of tea. He and the gang cant stop themselves to sing along and sway and rock their heads. It's fun, he thought. But maybe it'll be much more fun if Tine decided to come with them. The Gang is not complete as they're used too so there's something off about it and because its Tine. He's used to Tine being beside him when they watch something like this. He's dissapointed, he knows. But, how can he persuade Tine to go with them without slipping about the fact that he did want him to be beside him in times like this? Not a very good idea, so just throw it out of the window, he guess.


Since highschool Tine and him didnt fail to watch every Battle of the Bands or maybe sometimes with their luck, Scrubb's visits (because why the fuck not) in their school and the schools nearby. They enjoyed it so much. They didnt mind how people bump on to them or stump accidentally on their feet. They just jump around with their arms on the air while singing along. He can remember how Tine get so excited when the vocalists finish the previous song and one of the bassist or the drummer plays their respected instruments to tell the crowd to turn up for the next song. Tine will clap his hands before he hopped once again before the chorus starts. But nothing beats Tine's euphoric expression everytime a familiar Scrubb song make its way on his eardrum. With just the intro of it, he shouts and shouts, and clap his hands, and jumping around higher than before, at the same damn time.

Fong must be worried he knows. But he adores it so much he just stands their with a smile on his face, both his arm on the air, feeling that familiar feeling on his chest. Memorizing everything from that moment and save it on his mind and all over his heart. Saving it to have a memory of Tine that can make his heart flutter and smile. Tine being Tine, he thinks with a faint beats on his heart.


He must be so lost in his thoughts that he didnt notice when everyone starts to hype up once again and the #TeamSarawatWives didnt fail on shouting their love for Sarawat. He scrunched his nose. If his one of the band's member, he'll sulk everytime they perform. Like how the hell everyone shouts his name and not the band's? He'll feel outcasted he'll hate Sarawat with no reason.

With everything going on with Sarawat and his bestfriend, he doesnt really know what to do anymore. Tine's with him on his dorm for almost two weeks now. He still dont know whats the whole story. He just knows that Sarawat cheated with Pam, his first love according to Tine. And as much as he wants to hide his anger towards That Stupid Asshole, he knows he cant. But maybe he did great on hiding it to the point that Tine didnt notice it all.

Every midnight he'll just stare on the ceiling with his back on the floor, thinking. He's been with Tine since their teenage years and he just feels frustrated everytime he knows that Tine's hiding something. And it gets worse when he started fake dating Sarawat. Not that he's irritated though, its just that he felt that he's not that needed and important anymore and it doesnt sit right to him. With just the last connection he and Tine have, he's afraid that it'll bend so much it breaks. He dont want that. He dont want to think that Tine will be a complete stranger to him.


It started in their second year on highschool, he thinks. He just wake up one morning searching for a thing to reminds him of Tine as soon as he open his eyes.

He tries to go to school early so that he can wait for Tine on the gates and see his natural blushing face. He'll tap his feet on the ground to stop his excitement while biting his lips to stop his nervousness. Its crazy though, how Tine can make him feel different types of emotions just by thinking about him.

When Tine finally shows up, Fong will smile so widely and with big steps, he'll suddenly smack Tine's head hard, but soft enough to know that it wont hurt. Tine's decided to look at him with a scrunch on his nose because of annoyance but a little glint of playfulness in his eyes.

Fong fucking loves moments like this. When Tine and him will playfully run around to chase eachother not totally minding the world. They laugh like crazy while trying their best not to bump on someone or trips. Everytime they get so lost on chasing eachother, they'll bump on someone so hard they'll fell and one of the teachers will know about it and get an earful from them. Or as his luck let him be, Tine will finally get a hold of him and put his shoulder around him to playfully choke him. He pays attention on the way his heart beats faster than usual but he just thinks that its all because of the runnings. Fong will try his best to get Tine's arm away from his neck with a little want of holding him close to him as much as possible. To erase the fact that he cant be closer to Tine than this. Try to hold his arm pathetically to feel him.

Because its all that he can get, and maybe, he needs to be thankful rather than wishing for something more.


As the Ctrl+S' vocalist announce that their last song will be performed by Sarawat, he really see it coming. The way he went to his dorm just to see Tine and gets his guitar back, requesting Tine to come and watch them today. Its not that hard to decipher it. Sarawat will do something, he just knows it.

They listen. Especially Fong as the words of Sarawat's song is all what they hear at this moment. This is a very personal side of Sarawat that he can literally hear the vulnerability and sadness in his voice.

Fong's mind wanders if he once shows this kind of vulnerability to someone too.

Sarawat fell inlove with Tine's precious smile. But Fong did, too. But not only with it, he fell inlove with Tine's tears, with his success together with every slump of his shoulders, with his beliefs that tries to hind his doubts and fragileness, love his mind and how it conceives Tine that what he's doing is the right thing or when it chose to do the most dumbest thing.

Its unfair. With how he loves his bestfriend's beauty and accept his ugliness and darkness but with Sarawat, with a blink of an eye, just with a fake-dating agreement, Sarawat got him. In just a picture of Tine secretly taken by him, Tine finally understands and accepts his confession, and fucking reciprocates it as soon as Sarawat pleads him.

Its like Tine is the disastrous thunderstorm in Fong's eyes but he loves all of it. How it will destroy him with its thunders and calm him with every pats of raindrops in his skin. How it'll pours everything and choke him until he dies but at the same time, letting him breath freely, deeply. How it fucking scares him but he still decided to jump on the flood and dive as deep as he can because it makes him honored to know that this side of Tine is just his to remember. Just his to adore.

But with Sarawat? He just see him as a snowfall. Simply cold and light. A snowfall that he finally gets after waiting for Winter, planning on getting it through his fingertips to give him the numbing happiness he want to feel.

He fell inlove first but it doesnt mean that Tine will, too. Sarawat is Tine's first and only true love and he cant do anything about it. He just accepts it like the coward he is. He just dont want to take the risk and get the total opposite of what he expects. Its less scary. Its less nerve-wracking. Its less risky.

He just watch. How they get back together and fell inlove once again. How they wrap their arms on eachother and sways their body. How they look in to their eyes and mirrors the same feelings in them.

Wow, that scene looks like deja vu. Feel like you're once there, but in reality, you didnt even put your foot on that place even with an inch.

So he watch, as soon as he felt that Tine's side is not his anymore. Not his anymore to be in there. Not his anymore to let his eyes wander and feel what his heart decided to feel.

With all the advices and shoulders he let Tine have, its all what he can help. As much as Tine wants him to be there when he felt like the world is betraying him, he'll stay. As long as he can help Tine bring back the smile everyone is so crazy about, especially him, he'll stay. Anything, forever, he'll stay.

As long as Tine is happy.

He smile a bittersweet one.

He'll move forward.

As hard as it can be.

As scary as it can be.

As blurry as it can be.

As long as his heart let him be.