“Jared, you in here?” Jensen hollars as he walks into Jared’s trailer. He looks around it for a few moments and doesn’t see him, but as he walks out he notices some crumpled up paper beside the trash can. He picks it up and as he starts to read it his heart falls.
“No no no.” Jensen mumbles as he continues to read the words on the paper.
Paper in hand he rushes out the door of Jared’s trailer hell bent on finding him. He asks several of the crew and they say that they haven’t seen him since lunch. He looks down at his watch as it reads 5:30pm. He thanks them and then heads over to Alex’s trailer and bangs on the door until it gets opened with a confused Alex on the other side.
“What’s up Jen?” Alex asks tilting his head to the side.
“Have you see Jay, I can’t find him anywhere, and I went to his trailer to run lines with him and found this on the floor next to his trash can.” Jensen says with a little panic in his voice.
Concerned Alex takes the paper from Jensen and as he reads it he realizes why Jensen is in a panic and his eyes go wide.
“Oh shit, No I haven’t seen him but I will help you look.” Alex says getting a little panicked himself.
“Thanks man, I really appreciate it, I am really getting worried.” Jensen says as Alex hands the paper back to Jensen.
Alex nods and they go search for Jared at two of the sound stages and then in Bob Singers’ office but no Jared. Jensen is running his hands through his hair when around the corner Misha walks up. He sees Jensen with his phone in hand and Alex biting his nails.
“What’s going on?” Misha asks Alex
“Jensen found a note in Jared’s trailer and didn’t find Jared, and we are both worried that something had happened.” Alex replies.
“What note?” Misha asks.
Jensen still on the phone, hands the note over to Misha and he reads it:
I wish I could run
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Can I start again with my faith shaken?
Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this
But what will it take to make it right?
I can’t keep going on like this.
I will somehow make it right for everyone.
So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
I'll send out a wish, I'll send up a prayer
And finally someone will see how much I care
Misha finishes reading and sighs, “Jensen, I don’t know why you are worried about this, he isn’t going to do anything to himself, He is trying to tell YOU how he feels about you and he thinks you will reject him.”
Jensen stops pacing and spins around to look at Misha, “wait, he what?”
“Jensen, he loves you don’t you get it?” Misha says shaking his head.
Misha rolls his eyes, “He’s been in love with you since Season 1, and has been trying so hard to tell you but he didn’t know how, and he was so scared that if he did you would reject him and never speak to him again.”
“So, you’re saying I wasn’t supposed to see this and that’s why he’s been acting weird around me?” Jensen asks putting his phone back into his pocket.
“That is exactly what I am saying.” Misha replies.
“Oh…” Jensen says stunned.
Misha nods handing him back the paper and shakes his head. Jensen stands there numb and dumbfounded. He turns to Alex and apologizes but thanks him for helping him look for Jared.
“No problem Jen, but what are you going to do?” Alex asks.
“I don’t know...I just don’t know.” Jensen says shrugging his shoulders.
“Well, you better figure that out quickly, because here he comes.” Alex says looking past Jensen.
Jensen turns around to find Jared walking towards them. Jensen stuffs the paper into his back pocket. Alex snickers at Jensen before walking away and heading back to his trailer. Jared finally reaches Jensen with a look of concern on his face.
“What’s wrong Jen, are you okay?” Jared asks putting his arm around him as they walk towards Jared’s trailer.
“Nothing’s wrong Jay, I’m fine.” Jensen says nervously
They get to Jared’s trailer and walk inside and Jensen stands there at the door not sure what to do next. Jared grabs a water from the fridge and turns around and sees Jensen is acting a little strange.
“Jen, are you sure you’re okay?” Jared asks again.
Jensen sighs and relaxes a bit, then nods as he goes to the couch to sit down. Jared quirks an eyebrow before going over and sits next to him. They sit there in silence for a moment or two before Jensen finally speaks.
“Hey Jay?” Jensen says nervously
Jared turns to Jensen, “Yeah Jen?”
Jensen sits up a little and takes out the paper from his back pocket, “I found this by your trash can earlier when I came in looking for you.”
Jared takes the paper from Jensen and looks at and his eyes go wide realizing what it is after reading the first line.
“Jensen, I’m so sorry, you weren’t supposed to see...mph.” Jared starts to say before Jensen kisses him.
It takes Jared’s brain a few seconds to catch up to what is happening and starts kissing him back. After a few moments they have to pull apart due to the whole having to breathe air thing.
“Jen.” Jared whispers
“It’s okay Jay, I’ve got you.” Jensen whispers against Jared’s forehead.
Jensen smiles before leaning back in to kiss Jared again. Jared wraps his arms around Jensen pulling him closer. THey pull apart once more as Jared smiles at Jensen.
“I’ve wanted to tell you for so long.” Jared whispers.
“I know you did.” Jensen replies.
Jared looks at Jensen like he’s grown another head, “wait, you did?”
Jensen chuckles, “Misha just told me.”
Jared blushes and lowers his head.
“Hey, none of that, it’s okay Jay, cause I will tell you right now that I have felt the same way, but always thought that since we were working together that it would ruin what we had, but since we are filming the last season it doesn’t matter anymore...I want you Jay.” Jensen says.
Jared reaches up and pulls Jensen back down kissing him again. They stay like that until the PA knocks telling them they are ready for them on set. Sighing Jensen stands and helps Jared up and before they walk out the door Jensen kisses Jared once more.
“Hey how about after we shoot this scene we go to a karaoke bar and watch everyone make fools of themselves.” Jensen asks.
“Yeah that would be awesome!” Jared says chuckling.
3 hours later…
They get to the bar just as someone finishes an offkey version of Umbrella by Rhanna and they share a look. They grab a table and orders some beers.
“I’ll be right back.” Jensen says after beer number two.
Jared nods and smiles as he’s watching someone sing a pretty good version of someone else singing Penny Lane by The Beatles. He is taking a drink of his beer when he hears a familiar voice saying, “This is for a very special person that has been in my life for a long time, and I want to tell him how I feel.” Jared quickly turns to see Jensen on makeshift stage as the song starts to play.
Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby, when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts, I can see your dreams
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you
The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby, you surround me
Touch every place in my heart
And it feels like the first time every time
I want to spend the whole night in your eyes
I don't know how you do what you do
I’m so in love with you it just keeps getting better.
Tears start to well up in Jared’s eyes as he really listens to the lyrics and falls in love with Jensen all over again. As Jensen finishes the song Jared is in tears. He can’t believe that A: Jensen sang in front of everyone and B: He sang that for him. Jensen walks back to Jared after the song is over and wraps his arms around Jared and kisses him passionately. After they break the kiss they sit down and finish their beers.
“I have wanted to tell you for so long how much I felt about you Jay, and this song was supposed to do that, but apparently you beat me to it when I found that note.”
Jared blushes and smiles at Jensen, “hey do you wanna get out of here?”
“Yeah, my place or yours?” Jensen asks then kisses Jared again.
They walk out hand in hand to Jensen’s car and then head back to Jared’s apartment.