The first time she asks Ianto to join her for a drink after work, he very politely informs her that he has plans with his sister and would not be able to join her. He has only been in Cardiff for a week, and already he has taken over so many of the small, annoying jobs that no one else likes. She asks because it seems like the polite thing to do. She has vague thoughts that socializing with your colleagues is something you do - except at Torchwood, apparently.
She doesn't think about offering again the following week. He seems to be fitting right in, and she's lost in thought about a translation program she's working on.
After Lisa, Ianto is broken. They can all see it, even if they don't want to admit it. Tosh is surprised that Owen seems to understand why Ianto did what he did - she thought he would fight with Jack over his decision to allow Ianto to live - and not only live, but return to work at Torchwood. But no, Owen just nods his head and folds his arms after Jack informs them of his decision. Tosh knows there's a story behind all that, one she'll probably never know.
She feels guilty for not attempting to get to know Ianto better before this, for just accepting that he was suddenly there. It's not much - she knows - but she brings him coffee from Starbucks. He looks at her with big, wounded eyes, and thanks her. Impulsively, she asks him to join her at the pub after work. He hesitates a moment, before shaking his head no.
"Sorry, Tosh. I have an appointment with one of the counselors from UNIT tonight."
She's disappointed, but understands. "No problem, Ianto. Another night then."
He nods in agreement and that is that.
Except - it never seems to happen. The Rift spits out more trouble than ever, and Tosh is just plain tired by the end of the day. The last thing she wants is to spend more time with her work colleagues, and it doesn't take much for her to forget her resolve to spend some time with Ianto outside of work.
And then the situation with Mary occurs, and she's not in the mood to go out for a drink at all. Ianto is sweet to her, and gives her quiet support, something she appreciates, since Gwen and Owen certainly hold grudges against her. It should bother her more than it does, but she's kept busy with one thing or another until the grievances they hold against her are just one of a million unfair things in the world. She doesn't have the time to fret over them - or their affair.
Then, they open the Rift and Jack dies - only not permanently. But then, he runs off, leaving them all alone and with questions they can't answer. At first, they all bumble around, trying to figure out if Jack left of his own accord - he did - but then, that just leaves them free to let recriminations flay their team apart. They still have a job to do, even if they are floundering. The Rift hasn't quieted down simply because Jack has disappeared. They are all working long hours and are exhausted more often than not.
Maybe a fortnight after Jack disappears, Tosh takes a look at Ianto and realizes that he looks as drawn and miserable as he had after the whole Lisa incident.
So she invites him to join her for a night out at the pub. Get a pint, play some pool - anything really, just something to relax.
"Come on, Ianto," she cajoles. "We need a break."
"I know, Tosh," he replies, smiling at her tiredly. "But, we don't have enough people for us both to enjoy the night off." She sighs in defeat. He's right. The Rift is keeping them far too busy and they're all working crazy hours.
"Fine. But next time?"
He nods, and that has to be enough for her.
She doesn't bother asking him again until after the incident at the warehouse with the space whale. That whole situation just left everyone feeling sour, and she can't help but feel Ianto got the brunt of it, even if Rhys was shot. She knows - they all do - that Jack and Ianto restarted whatever relationship they had before Jack disappeared. She would worry, but Ianto looks happier now than he has since she first met him. Jack's little declaration to Gwen though? That has to hurt.
"Drink?" she asks.
"Thanks, Tosh," he smiles politely, his expression distant and she knows the answer before he even finishes speaking. "Not tonight. I'm for home and bed." He's not even looking at Jack, or really anyone, and she knows it's bad.
"Ianto?" she calls out. "Let me know if you need anything." It's the best she has to offer.
He nods in appreciation.
She doesn't know why she's so surprised that Gwen actually marries Rhys, but she is. Even the Nostrovite doesn't stop her. She thinks - though she'll never voice it - that the only person who could stop it is Jack. But he won't and Gwen knows this.
Still, the dance between Jack and Gwen - and the way they look at each other - is enough to make her uncomfortable. She and Owen share a look, worried because as much as they tease Ianto about his relationship with Jack, they both have noticed how much happier he's been in the months since Jack returned. And even Jack has seemed happier. Ianto interrupts Jack and Gwen with his impeccable timing, but Tosh still can't help but worry.
Ianto asks Tosh for a ride back to his flat instead of joining Jack and Owen in the SUV. That's enough to confirm her earlier misgivings were right.
"Want to grab a pint?" she asks as they enter Cardiff proper. She asks halfheartedly because she doesn't really think he'll accept. He never seems to when she offers, and she's learned to wait until he makes the suggestion.
"Sounds good," he tells her. She can't help the way her mouth falls open at his response. He does her the courtesy of not laughing, or even bringing attention to her reaction. "Don't feel like going home, not just yet," he confesses and Tosh can understand that.
"Well, we'll just have to enjoy ourselves then," she states, sneaking a look at him. He looks exhausted.
"Sounds good." He also sounds tired. A silence rife with all the things that could be said and aren't fills the car. "I'll be alright, Tosh," he tells her a few moments later and if she hadn't grown used to it, she would wonder how he always seems to know when she's worried about him.
"I know you will," she assures him, because if there is one talent Ianto has, it is to somehow survive all that's thrown at him. It may take a while, and he may falter a few times, but usually he manages to claw back to some sort of equilibrium. And until he does? She's happy to be there for him.