Hi my name is Walter Hartwell White and I have a short white (that’s how I got my name) hair and I’m practically bald cuz I have cancer with a short moustache and goatee combo and dead blue eyes like a depressed father and a lot of people tell me I look like Hiesenberg (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). [[I’m not related to the actual Heisenburgh but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a methamphetamine manufacturer, and I sell my meth to a greeder fucker named Gus in Albequrqe New Mexico where I’m in the 50th year (I’m fifty). I’m a chemist (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly ugly dad clothes. I love Old Navy and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a yellow labcoat with matching black boots and black suede gloves(so mah handz dunt get burnned by da chemicals), cheap glasses and an ugly black top hat. I was wearing burts bees chapstick, white foundation to cover up my black eye, and my wedding ring. I was walking outside my house. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of DEA agents stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
“Hey Mr.White!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Jesse Pinkman!
“What’s up Jesse?” I asked.
“Nothing.” he said shyly.
But then, I heard my wife call me and I had to go away.