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Where wolves fear to prey

Summary:

Sometimes he'd come in January, sometimes in December - he even showed up once on Christmas Day. He was Leonard's winter wolf - he'd come home from med school for a couple of months each winter, and his wolf would be there waiting for him.

Notes:

Based off of the Shiver series, which I actually have yet to finish. But still, that first book owned my heart.

Also this is unbeta'd but has been semi-checked by myself, so maybe expect a few mistakes, idk.

Title comes from the quote "Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey", from Lord Byron.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It was the start of February when Leonard found the kid on his back porch. He couldn't have been much older than ten years old, but he was out there, his bare back pressed against the side of the house. He was naked and shaking, and Leonard immediately felt compelled to help. But he was only fifteen himself, and he wasn't sure what his parents would say about him bringing a small naked boy he'd found in the back garden in for a hot chocolate and some food, seeing as he was thin as a rake too.

And then he rolled his eyes at himself. Of course his parents wouldn't mind. If anything, they'd encourage him.

The boy's freaky blue eyes were wide as Leonard took a step forward. He scooted back further on the porch, and Leonard stopped, holding his hands up as if to admit defeat.

"It's alright," He said softly. "It's okay. I'm gonna go inside and get you a blanket, alright? I'm gonna go inside and get something to keep you warm. Okay." He stood, and crept back along the porch. "I'll be back real soon, kid." He said, as if it were soothing, but the kid still looked as scared as before.

Leonard didn't really want to leave him there, especially not alone with the wolves that roamed in the forest at the end of the garden, but he thought this way was best. He was rummaging around in the linen cupboard for something warm when he heard a loud bang, and then another, and then another against the side of the house. He stood, listening for the noise again.

That was when he heard the ear-splitting howl of a wolf.

He raced downstairs, duvet in hand, out to the back porch, but the kid was gone.

And at the bottom of the garden, looking out at him, was a small-looking, thin-looking wolf with the whitest fur and the bluest eyes he'd ever seen on any animal.

He dropped the duvet, and although it made no sound to Leonard's ears, the wolf flinched. Captivated by it, Leonard went to take a step towards it.

And for a moment, the wolf raised a paw as if to come closer too.

But then a howling errupted from the woods behind him, and the wolf turned and ran off into the forest.

~*~

It was mid February the next year when Leonard saw the wolf again. Its fur was matted, and it looked even skinnier than before. Leonard was no veterinarian, quite the opposite in fact, but he knew that that wasn't good.

So he pointed a finger at it, and held it up as if to grab its attention.

"Stay there." He told it sternly.

The wolf cocked its head, but made no move to leave, or to come closer, which was just how Leonard liked it.

He ducked into the house and took the steak that his mom had been defrosting from the fridge, and carried it outside. He gripped it lightly, not wanting to put the wolf off it with his scent.

When he brought it out, the wolf took a step a forward. And then, as if realising what it had done, it stopped.

"It's alright." Leonard told it softly. "Here."

He threw the steak at it, and it landed on the ground with a heavy sounding thud. The wolf regarded it, and then he pounced on it.

Leonard watched, and gave a low chuckle as it flicked it about, seemingly playing with it. The wolf looked up at the noise, and stopped.

That was when Leonard retreated, returning to the house with a smile.

~*~

Leonard saw his wolf every winter after that, and he was sort of being fascinated by him.

He would creep up closer and closer each year, and each year Leonard would feed him. He'd always replace the food he took, and so his parents never found out. Sometimes he'd come in January, sometimes in December - he even showed up once on Christmas Day. He was Leonard's winter wolf - he'd come home from med school for a couple of months each winter, and his wolf would be there waiting for him.

It was when Leonard was 20 years old that he got really brave.

He was about to throw a pork chop out to his wolf when he stopped, and he swore that the wolf had frowned. He took a step forward, pork chop in hand. The wolf retreated just a little. Leonard took another step forward, and the wolf stepped backwards. Leonard made it halfway across the garden before the wolf's back met the treeline. So there he stopped, and he crouched down on one knee, the January snow making his jeans wet.

He held out the pork chop for the wolf, holding it at arms length. His wolf certainly wasn't as skinny as it was before, as it had been the first time round, and Leonard thought that this was more habit than necessity for the both of them. Or now, maybe it was a necessity for Leonard rather than the wolf.

Slowly, the wolf stepped forward. It moved at a glacial pace, sniffing every so often as it approached. Leonard smiled reassuringly at it, because he was sure there was something about this animal that meant he understood.

When the wolf's snout met the chop, Leonard pulled his hand in towards his body slowly.

At that, the wolf sat down, and once again Leonard was sure it was frowning.

"Alright, alright." Leonard conceded, holding the chop back out to it.

The wolf snatched it happily, and flicked it around a little while. It was when it had took a bite that Leonard reached his hand out to bury his fingers in it's scruff. The fur was warm and soft and thick, and Leonard raised both hands to run his fingers through it.

When he looked down, the wolf was looking right back up at him.

Leonard slowly withdrew his fingers from it's scruff, and the wolf gave something of a low whine.

"Enjoy your dinner." Leonard told it, before returning to the house.

~*~

"No, Christine, it's totally over. The divorce went through today- What d'you mean it's better this way? She was my wife."

Leonard held the phone to his ear as he studied the book in his hand. He was stood directly under a fan, and the cool air on his neck was a lot nicer than the stuffy Georgian heat inside that room.

He picked the book he wanted, a cookery book because he didn't have Jocelyn hogging the kitchen now, and headed to the counter. He was only half listening to Christine as he handed it to the cashier.

"Look, Chris, I've gotta go. Yeah. Yeah- bye." And then he hung up, and grumbled under his breath about pushy women as he looked up to meet the gaze of the cashier.

His eyes were the bluest blue Leonard had ever seen. Well, that he'd ever seen on a human.

Leonard was captivated.

"That'll be six dollars." He said. Leonard blinked.

"Have I met you before?" He asked.

The cashier paused, and stared at him for a moment. He wore the same wide-eyed look Leonard was sure he was showcasing at that moment. "No." He said eventually, but his eyes were saying differently.

Leonard decided not to argue, and handed over a ten dollar bill.

"There you go." The cashier - his nametag called him Jim - said, as he handed over Leonard's change.

"Thanks." Leonard murmured.

He left with a weird feeling of foreboding.

~*~

It was winter of the same year when Leonard heard the gunshot. He was aware that they were culling the wolves, and he wasn't very damn happy about it, but he hadn't actually heard any gunshots yet.

He looked out of his bedroom window, and saw blood trailing through the snow.

"Shit." Leonard muttered.

There was only one wolf that would drag itself to his back porch.

He'd never ran faster in his whole thirty years of living.

He skittered onto the back porch, expecting to see his wolf lying there, white fur stained blood red. But what he saw made his eyes widen.

He was pretty sure it was the same guy that he'd bought a book from, that cookery book that he had never actually opened. It had been months since he'd seen him, but he couldn't forget him, couldn't get those wide blue eyes out of his head.

But when Leonard looked at him again, all he could see was that boy, that boy fifteen years ago that had wound up naked and afraid on his porch, and had disappeared without a trace. Only now the boy was fifteen years older, still naked but now tanned and toned, with fingers pressed to a hole in his abdomen as it poured blood.

"Let's get you inside." Leonard said, hooking an arm around his bare shoulders as he lefted him up.

The man did nothing but huff.

"What's your name, kid?" Leonard asked, as he hauled him inside.

"Jim." He coughed, and now Leonard had no doubt that this was him; the guy from the bookshop. That voice had been echoing around his head for weeks. "Jim Kirk. And you're Leonard."

Leonard raised an eyebrow. "How did you know that?"

"I think we both know." Jim gave him a weary yet pointed look as Leonard settled him in his bed.

And with that, all of Leonard's suspicions were confirmed. And actually, he wasn't having trouble dealing with it. Rather, he had went into doctor mode, and he instructed Jim to stay still whilst he grabbed the med kit he kept in his bathroom.

When he came back, Jim hadn't moved, but he looked shifty, as if he wasn't quite comfortable.

"Who did this to you?" Leonard asked, as he injected Jim with a local anastetic that he may or may not have stolen from the local hospital he worked at.

Jim shrugged, and winced. "Hunters. They're shooting anything that moves, I doubt I was the only casualty."

Leonard's eyed widened. "There's more of you?"

Jim looked at him as if it were obvious. "Of course. We're a pack."

"Woah." Leonard murmured.

Leonard set about pulling out the bullet and stitching up the wound, and he furrowed his brow as he did so. Jim's skin healed quickly - he had to keep reopening the wound to drag the bullet out, and then even his stitches weren't really necessary. The cut faded, getting smaller and smaller, until it disappeared entirely, leaving nothing but a small white mark on the toned skin of his abdomen.

Leonard packed away the things from his med kit, and stood.

Jim grabbed a gentle, yet oddly firm, hold of his hand. "Please don't leave me."

Leonard looked at him for a long time, and then he shook his head. "I won't. I'll be right back."

He took a few seconds to place the med kit back under the sink, and then he returned to the bedroom to find Jim still waiting for him.

"You should get some rest." Leonard said. "Doctor's orders."

Jim thought about it, and then said, "Only if you lie with me, Bones."

"Bones?" Leonard asked.

"Sawbones. Like a doctor." Jim explained.

Leonard nodded as he kicked his shoes off and clambered into bed. It was cold out, and he was pretty sure that Jim's body temperature was above average. And anyway, he'd requested that he slept next to him, so Leonard planned to.

Leonard tried to keep his hands to himself, to not touch Jim any more than was necessary. He closed his eyes when he noticed that Jim had too, and evened out his breathing as if he were asleep. How he could sleep when Jim, his wolf, was right there, he wasn't sure. Leonard could feel the heat from his body, could smell his woodsy, earthy scent. Everything was Jim, right here, wanting him. Leonard could've have slept if he'd tried; Jim had a habit of disappearing, and Leonard wasn't going to miss this for the whole damn world.

It was only after a minute of faking sleep that he felt Jim's breath on his face, warm and oddly sweet smelling. "Thank you, Bones." He murmured. "For everything."

It was a nice gesture, but it sounded far too much like a goodbye.

~*~

When Leonard woke up in the morning, Jim was still in his bed. In actual fact, Jim was curled up in his arms, and shivering for dear life.

"Jim?" He asked sleepily. "You alright?"

"Turn the thermostat up." Jim said, a soft command. "Bones, turn it up."

There was an urgency to his voice that Leonard could register but couldn't undertand. He moved quickly, and turned the temperature right up to sub-tropical. He then returned to the bedside, and Jim wriggled his way into his arms once again, pressing cold fingers to his warm chest as the temperature slowly rose. When it eventually reached the desired temperature, and Jim stopped shaking, Leonard dared to look down at him.

"What the hell was that about?" He asked.

Jim swallowed, and tilted his head back to look up at him. Those big blue eyes trained on Leonard's face, and now it was his turn to shiver.

"The cold." He answered. "The cold turns me back."

"What, so this isn't like a full moon type thing?" Leonard asked.

Jim chuckled, but it didn't sound genuine. "I wish. When the temperature drops below forty-one degrees we shift. Stay that way till it gets back to forty-one. The younger ones always change sooner; they're more sensitive to it. That's why you found me in february. Normally we don't change back till March-"

"You remember that?" Leonard asked.

Jim blinked. "You don't forget tht kind of thing, Bones. And anyway, that was the first time I met you."

"You disappeared." Leonard noted, and the pain of it returned for just a second.

Jim paused, and then buried his face into Leonard's chest; Leonard was overheating already, but he didn't say anything. "I didn't have a choice. I changed back."

"I know." Leonard murmured. "Just don't do it again."

Experimentally, he placed his lips to Jim's forehead. But just as he did so, Jim tilted his head back, catching him a kiss so deep and so passionate that Leonard wondered what on Earth he'd saw in his ex-wife. He'd never had this before, not with her. Jim shifted them both so that they were face to face, so that the angle was easier on both of them, and when he pulled away he looked at Leonard almost sheepishly.

"Sorry." he murmured.

Leonard shook his head. "Don't be."

"Not too soon?" Jim asked, leaning his forehead against Leonard's.

"Jim, I've known you for fifteen years." Leonard said, the hint of a smile on his lips. "I think it's about time."

~*~

Jim stayed the night. And the next night, and the night after that.

"I watch you all the time, y'know." He said one night as they curled up together. "I stand right at the treeline, and watch you all the time. Whenever I can get away. Which is a lot, actually."

"Why don't you come closer?" Leonard asked, trailing his fingers along Jim's side.

Jiim sighed softly. "When I change, I'm not just a human trapped in a wolf's body. Well I am, but... I lose something. We all losing something. We have a wolf's mentality. We're not people in there, Bones, we're actual wolves."

He paused, and Leonard didn't like the silence that fell between them.

"Wild wolves don't let people run their fingers through their fur, Jim."

It was a reference to the first and only time Leonard had been allowed to touch Jim as a wolf, and Jim understood immediately.

"No. No, you're right. Pike did always say I was the most human of 'em all." He murmured.

"The most human wolf I know." Leonard agreed, pressing a kiss to Jim's skin.

Jim just shivered, and Leonard wasn't sure why.

~*~

Leonard was no longer tied to Jocelyn and her Big Family Christmas, so instead he stayed in, and let Jim cook the dinner.

The radio played nothing but Christmas tunes, and Jim swayed his hips to the music as he cooked. Leonard was never a very good chef, unless it was pancakes you wanted, and Jim said he hadn't cooked a proper Christmas dinner since he was sixteen years old.

"Tell me the story." Leonard said, as he sat at the kitchen table.

"I'll tell you if you help." Jim countered, and Leonard nodded, moving over to the opposite side of the counter to Jim and beginning to chop up the vegetables.

"Alright, so normally we're all wolves for Christmas, so dinner doesn't matter very much." Jim explained, as The Pogues played in the background. "But there was one year where Pike went out in September and bought everything we'd need, and kept the thermostat running at like 90 degrees from the start of October, and we all had a big christmas dinner together. But seeing as no one else could cook, I had to do it."

"Where did you learn to cook?" Leonard asked, supplying Jim with questions to keep him talking, because Leonard loved the sound of his voice.

Jim shrugged. "I used to fend for myself a lot when I was little."

"Oh." Leonard murmured. "So how did it go?"

"Chekov shifted halfway through. He was talking about Christmas in Russia, and he let his food go cold. The sudden change in temperature made him shift. He was pretty new at the time, it was only his second winter with us. He was still pretty sensitive." Jim stared solemnly at the tiny turkey he was stuffing, and Leonard felt bad for bringing it up.

"Damn." He muttered. He turned back to the vegetables when he heard the soft sound of a tea-towel hitting the bench. Jim had wiped his hands, and Leonard watched him as he approached. He turned so that he was stood with his back to the edge of the counter, and Jim move to stnd in front of him, aligning them at the hips and the knees as he took hold of Leonard's hands.

"Let's dance." He grinned, and Leonard noted that the song on the radio had changed to what he believed to be Tom Jones.

Jim was evidently as good a dancer as he was a chef, but the real surprise lay in Leonard's skills. He whirled Jim around the room, hips swaying and hands in all the right places as some welsh girl warbled through the radio. They were both grinning when the song ended, with Leonard pinning Jim to the counter. Jim raised his eyebrows at him. "Where did you learn to dance?"

"Had lessons for the wedding." Leonard shrugged, pressing a gentle kiss to Jim's lips to capture the soft "oh" that fell from them.

Dinner was hardly a quiet affair; Jim might've known everything about Leonard, but Leonard certainly didn't know anything about Jim.

They left the dishes till tomorrow, because Christmas Day was not a day for washing dishes, and when Leonard curled up with Jim on the sofa, his head resting on Jim's chest, he thought that this might just be the happiest Christmas he'd ever had.

~*~

January rolled in, and caused the temperature to drop by two degrees. Leonard prepared for this by turning the thermostat up from sub-tropical to Arabian desert.

"Just turn it up as you need, Jim." He said, as he stocked the real-fire fire place in the living room with wood. It was his plan to have the thermostat on and at least one more heater in each room; Jim had told him that January was the coldest month, and he wasn't taking any chances.

"I've never had the whole of the winter before." Jim mused from the window. There was snow lying on the ground, and Leonard couldn't help thinking about how the pure white of it so perfectly matched Jim's fur in wolf-form.

"Will you just get away from the window before I have a damn heart attack?" Leonard frowned, as he lit the fire.

Jim huffed a little, and attempted to pull the scarf from around his neck as he walked over to Leonard's side.

"You're being overcautious." He said, as Leonard took hold of his hands and tightened the scard.

"No such thing as overcautious, Jim." He returned, keeping Jim's toasty warm hands in his own.

"I'll still be here, Bones." Jim assured him, and Leonard shook his head.

"You don't get it." He said, and he decided to settle them both by the fire because explaining this might take a while. "You might always be there, Jim, but that's only good for you. Before, seeing you every so often was enough, but now? Losing you again might just kill me, damn it."

"But Bones-" Jim began, but Leonard wasn't finished.

"You might stand at that treeline and watch me all the time Jim, but I can't see you there. And even if I can see you there, you never come close. You said it yourself - you lose something when you change. Having you here, in my arms, is not the same as having you stood at the end of my damn garden looking like a shag-pile carpet." Leonard paused for breath, and he shook his head. "I've lost everything I've ever loved, Jim. My wife, my sister, my dad-" He closed his eyes, because looking at Jim was making his head hurt. "I'm not going to lose you too."

Leonard kept his eyes shut, and only opened them when he felt Jim press a gentle kiss to his forehead. "You'll never lose me, Bones. Never ever."

~*~

They curled up in the living room that night, because that fire was way too romantic for either of them to resist.

And anyway, first-time sex on the couch was a lot better than first-time sex in the bed.

Leonard didn't even think about the mess they'd made on the leather couch as Jim shifted them both so that they lay chest-to-chest, still panting and sweaty.

"See, there's another reason why I can't lose you." Leonard panted, as he pressed his head into the crook of Jim's neck to shower him in soft kisses.

Jim chuckled. "This is definitely worth staying human for. /You are definitely worth staying human for."

"Promise me you'll stay." Leonard whispered.

Jim nodded. "I promise.

~*~

Leonard woke up in the morning to Jim shivering.

"Bones, the heating has gone off. Bones. Bones- Leonard for the love of /God."

Leonard woke up with a start, as Jim shoved him away from him.

"It's too late," He kept muttering. "It's too late. It's too late."

"It's not, Jim, I can-" Leonard was about to leave, to go and raid the linen cupboard when Jim gave an agonised wail.

"I love you. Leonard Horatio McCoy, I love you." He panted.

The sound of tearing skin and creaking bones filled the room, and Leonard winced.

"Don't go, Jim, don't-"

Another agonised wail.

Leonard only had time to whisper "I love you too" before Jim changed completely.

The white wolf regarded him with those funny blue eyes, and Leonard tried his very best not to cry. He went through to the kitchen, and opened the back door to the garden. As if he knew the way - which he did, really - the wolf trotted out without a second thought.

Leonard watched it till its tail had disappeared into the forest, and then he watched for a long time after.

~*~

Leonard watched for it all the time. The wolf at the end of the garden. Jim had said he was always there, but Leonard couldn't see him. Maybe Jim had been lying. Maybe he was just stealthy. To be honest, Leonard wasn't entirely sure.

When he did see him, Leonard tried to tempt him forward. But Jim never came close. It was as if they'd traveled all the way back to square one; Jim never ventured past the edge of the garden.

Leonard watched from the window every night, and every night his heart hurt.

~*~

February saw the thawing of the snow, but the temperature still didn't get above ten degrees. Leonard cursed the damn ground he walked on every night, but every night nothing happened.

The wolf still stood there, regarding him.

Leonard hated the fact that he was so close, and yet so damn far away.

He couldn't wait for winter to be over.

~*~

The weatherman predicted that March would be a cold one this year, and Leonard wanted to punch something. Or someone. Maybe himself.

He was totally alone in that big empty house, save for the time he spent at the hospital, and the odd time Christone would come to see him with a pan of soup.

Leonard couldn't tell her why he was so depressed - "my short-term but kinda long-term boyfriend shifted back into his wolf form and even though he's probably at the end of the garden right now I can't go near him in case primal instinct takes over and he bites my hand off" wasn't a believable excuse.

So he waited out the winter on his own, with a bottle of bourbon in hand.

~*~

March was turning into April when he heard it.

A quiet rapping at the door to the back porch.

Leonard approached it slowly, carefully, his eyes narrowed. It was a supicious sound, whatever it was. He didn't like it too much.

Leonard had stopped checking the temperature each day some time in the middle of March. He opened the back door slowly, wary hazel eyes looking out onto the horizon.

"Look down you suspicious bastard."

Leonard did as instructed, and dropped to his knees almost immediately.

"You god damn fool-brained corn fed son of a bitch, I ought to leave you out there to god damn freeze, you ass-"

Jim crashed their lips together, allowing Leonard to pull him inside into the warm of the house. It wasn't the best hello, but it felt right.

"You promised me." Leonard muttered as they pulled away. "You promised me-"

"I know." Jim murmured. "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jim peppered the bare skin of Leonard's neck and face with kisses, showering him in them by way of apology.

Leonard just shook his head. "I'll forgive you." He said. "If you promise me not to do it again."

They sat face to face, nose to nose, in fact, the tips just barely touching. Roaming hands still, and they looked at each other for a very long time, just taking in the presence of each other.

Jim pressed a slow, deep kiss to Leonard's lips, leaning their foreheads together as he pulled away. "I promise."

Notes:

And with that, I'm opening myself up for prompt again. Thank you all for reading!

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