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What if

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Frank Poncherello rolled over in bed he was just starting to wake up. His boyfriend, Jon Baker was in the other room reading a mystery novel on the couch. Ponch was dreading this moment. He had been feeling pretty crappy lately and surprisingly right now he felt almost normal…but his emotions weren’t in the best shape. He had been to the doctor a few days ago and told the doctor he was crazy when the doctor told him the news. Ponch just couldn’t believe it…but now…now everyday it was becoming more and more believable to him.

Ponch slowly pulled himself up out of bed and headed for the living room knowing he needed to tell Jon now. He had to get it out now while he wasn’t having horrible morning sickness.

Jon and Ponch didn’t live together, but they did spend a lot of time staying at each other’s apartments. Last night Ponch had fallen asleep on Jon’s bed in the middle of trying to talk to him, and Jon just held Ponch close in his arms and cuddled all night long. Jon didn’t mind it if Ponch showed up at his door late at night wanting to stay the night…but Ponch never would say he wanted to stay they’d just somehow end up in bed and Ponch would fall asleep. Jon knew Ponch wanted to stay he just had a hard time of saying it for some reason.

Jon had shown up at Ponch’s door a few times before too…and those nights were crazy. Those were the nights when things really started to happen…especially one night three weeks ago.

Ponch walked into the living room and saw Jon sitting on the couch peacefully reading a book. Ponch felt the palms of his hands start to become very sweaty as he was growing very nervous. He came and sat beside Jon and cleared his throat.

Jon turned and smiled when he saw Ponch. “Hey, sleepyhead,” he said with a smile he was about to lean in for a kiss when Ponch spoke.

“Jon…uh…we…um…we need to talk.”

Jon set his book aside and turned to face Ponch. “Alright, what’s up?” he asked.

Ponch cleared his throat and dried a tear that already fell. "Um...uh so I went to the doctor last week...and uh...when he told me...what...when he said what he said I completely ignored it...but...uh....I think he might've been telling the truth." Ponch paused having even gotten that much out was a shocker to him, he was so nervous right now he was even a little shaky and Jon was growing concerned.

“What did he say?” Jon asked.

Ponch cleared his throat again and looked down at the floor. "Uh...I'm...pregnant..." he said quietly.

"What...? Really?" Jon asked in shock and confusion.

"Yeah."  Ponch was still staring at the floor.

"Wow.." Jon cleared his throat. He had no idea what to say

"Sorry..."  Ponch said not looking up at Jon at all.


"Why are you sorry?" Jon asked.

"It wasn't supposed to probably don't wanna have a baby anyway." Ponch got off the couch before Jon could say anything to him. He already had made up his mind that Jon probably didn't want him or the baby anymore so he started to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Well...this is your uh...I'm going home..."


"Why should I stay? I told you everything and you didn't even seem the least bit interested. "

Jon stood up. "Are you being serious right now? I’m HAPPY that we're having a baby. I'm just shocked, that’s all."

Ponch stared at him fighting tears. "Well you could've said something..."

"..If you found out your partner was having a baby, you'd be speechless for a bit too,” Jon shot back.

Ponch stared at him. "Yeah....but if I knew that my partner was upset and thought I didn't want it, and said something to me I would've said a whole lot more than what you said."

"It’s hard when the other is about to LEAVE and I'm in a rush to stop you from doing that..."

Ponch went over and sat in a chair. "Fine...I'll stay a little longer." he obviously sounded a little irritated now.

Ponch stared at Jon now. "Even if the other was about to obviously got their attention and kept them you might wanna start talking."

Jon didn’t speak up soon enough he was thinking of the right words to say and they just sat in silence for a few minutes. Ponch couldn’t take it anymore he got up again. “Jon, I waited and you still didn’t have anything to say.” Tears were stinging his eyes. “I’m leaving, you don’t want us,” he said heading for the door.

Jon stood up and rushed after him. “Ponch, don’t go…”

Ponch didn’t even look back at Jon…Jon had pulled that one off before and he wasn’t gonna waste more time sitting there for Jon to just be silent.


Ponch sat in his bed crying. He flat out refused to go to work today, he was a mess. He called in sick…which was only half true. What Ponch didn’t know was that when he called his sergeant, Getraer had heard in Ponch’s voice how upset he was…and decided to pay a little visit to his place.

Ponch heard a knock at the door. He was a little hesitant to go, what if it was Jon? The last thing he wanted was to see Jon…it was Jon’s fault Ponch was in this mess…and Jon was so shocked by it that he couldn’t even say a word. Ponch understood being speechless, but sometimes you had to at least find something to say…or a hug could’ve worked too. That spoke louder than anything else he could’ve said.

Ponch opened the door to find Getraer standing there. “Oh…hi, Sarge…” Ponch said letting him in. He then went and sat on the couch, after Getraer took a seat in a chair.

“Poncherello, is everything alright?”

“Yeah…um…me and Jon just had our first fight…”

“About what?”

Ponch didn’t say a word.

“I understand if you’d rather not talk about it…but uh calling in sick? I understand you’re extremely upset from the argument, but don’t you think that you could’ve explained a little better than making something up over the phone?”

Ponch nodded. “Yeah…sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’ll still give you the day off though. You’re too upset to be working.”

Ponch nodded and thanked him then Getraer left.