[Private chat: Yoonmin is my heartu]
goldenkook: is the universe against me?
goldenkook: does god hate me?
goldenkook: does he want me to give up?
TaeTaeflower: u got another dick pic?
goldenkook: … yes
sunshinemin: the universe's trying to tell u that u gotta start loving the dick
goldenkook: I'm not gay!
TaeTaeflower: … ok
sunshinemin: that sounds fake but ok
goldenkook: I hate u both.
goldenkook: u r such poor excuses of friends IS2G
sunshinemin: well u might not be gay (LMAO) but this boy right here is
sunshinemin: so... gotta go
goldenkook: another session of instagram thirst?
TaeTaeflower: LOL minnie you went through the entirety of Yoongi-hyung's instagram like seven times
TaeTaeflower: when will the thirst end?
sunshinemin: 9 times
sunshinemin: so what?
sunshinemin: don't you ever watch an amazing movie again?
sunshinemin: do u refuse to reread a beautiful book just cuz u red it before?
sunshinemin: the fuck, let me live
sunshinemin: you speak as if I don't know taht u saved all of Jungkook's snapchats
TaeTaeflower: SHSWHAT THE F UCKDJE
TaeTaeflower: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
sunshinemin: what was that?
sunshinemin: I'm sorry
sunshinemin: I don't speak “whiny bitch” so I can't read what u just wrote
goldenkook: “Ultimate” by Denzen Curry plays in the background, pixelated sunglasses fall from the sky, airhorns can be heard in the distance
sunshinemin: well, catch ya later
TaeTaeflower: that was savage
TaeTaeflower: i got fucking wrecked
goldenkook: did u really screenshot my snaps?
[Private chat: WE DEM BOYZ]
J-HOE: KIM NAMJOON ((╬●∀●)
J-HOE: REPLY TO ME YOU BITCH
J-HOE: I KNOW YOU'RE ONLINE U FAKE ASS WALNUT
destroyermon: the fck
J-HOE: did u
J-HOE: or did u not
J-HOE: download weirdass porn on the studio's LAPTOP AGAIN?!
destroyermon: why u asking
J-HOE: CUZ THE FUCKING THING ISN'T WORKING ANYMORE
destroyermon left WE DEM BOYZ
J-HOE added destroyermon to WE DEM BOYZ
J-HOE: YOU AIN'T RUNNING AWAY
goldenkook: oh shit
❀theprincess❀: what's this I'm hearing about weird porn?
goldenkook: * grabs popcorns *
TaeTaeflower: * grabs popcorns *
J-HOE: * grabs popcorns *
destroyermon: hyung I can explain
❀theprincess❀: oh... trust me... you will explain.
TaeTaeflower: THAT DOT THO
sunshinemin: I'm back what did i miss
TaeTaeflower: back from that instagram quest?
sunshinemin: COUGHCOUGH “JK SLEEPING” FOLDER COUGHCOUGH
sunshinemin: sorry, what were u saying?
TaeTaeflower: t'was a typo
goldenkook: the fuck
sunshinemin: hello hyung
❀theprincess❀: well, would you look at that. Jimin joins the conversation... and immediately Yoongi does too... is this a coincidence?
yoongles: I need ur opinion on something guys
❀theprincess❀: are you ignoring my sassy provocation?
yoongles: which one of these selcas should I post?
❀theprincess❀: are YOU IGNORING YOUR MOTHER?!
sunshinemin: sorry, fucking autocorrect
TaeTaeflower: sure Jen
sunshinemin: i like the first one more
yoongles: yeah I liked that one better as well
J-HOE: THIS WEAK ASS BITCH
J-HOE: I WAS WITH HIM WHEN HE TOOK THE FUCKING SELCAS AND HE KEPT SAYING THAT THE SECOND ONE WAS BETTER
yoongles: well I changed my fucking mind Hoseok
yoongles: anyways, i have to go now I'm alreayd late for a class
yoongles: Jin-hyung, the password for Namjoon's laptop is “automatic stick”
destroyermon: I WILL PISS ON EVERYTHING YOU LOVE
sunshinemin: automatic stick
sunshinemin: well, see you later I have class as well
❀theprincess❀: Joonie, why don't you join me in the living room. For a chat.
TaeTaeflower: rest in fucking pieces hyung
destroyermon: tell my parents I love them.
[Private chat: YOONMIN IS MY HEARTU]
sunshinemin: yall I've been blessed
sunshinemin: like have u seen those selcas
sunshinemin: is this what God meant when he created art?
sunshinemin: we are not worthy
goldenkook: are u back on Yoongi-hyung's instagram?
sunshinemin: you bet your closeted ass I am
goldenkook: I AM NOT GAY
sunshinemin: sure Jen
TaeTaeflower: the fuck
goldenkook: is this what a psychotic breakdown looks like?
sunshinemin: I'VE BEEN EXPOSED
sunshinemin: I'VE BEEN FUCKING EXPOSED
sunshinemin: PLS THROW ME IN THE PITTS OF HELL
sunshinemin: IN THE HELLFIRE
goldenkook: hyung what happened
TaeTaeflower: oh boy
TaeTaeflower: u did not
TaeTaeflower: tell me u did not like an old pic of Yoongi-hyung
TaeTaeflower: OH MY GOD U DID
goldenkook: I cannot believe I am witnessing your fall with my own naked eyeballs
sunshinemin: THE FUC K DO IDO NWO
sunshinemin: WHAT DO I DO
sunshinemin: IT'S 52 WEEKS OLD
TaeTaeflower: what color do you want your coffin
goldenkook: I'll take care of the flowers. Peonies allright?
Sunshinemin: U FUCKING ASSHOLES HELP A BROTHER OUT
sunshinemin: I CANT BELIEBE THIS IS HAPPENENG
goldenkook: what do you mean
TaeTaeflower: when u nod your head yes but you wanna say no
sunshinemin: THIS IS NOT THE GODDAMN TIME IT WAS A TYPO FUCK YOU ALL
TaeTaeflower: how did that even happen
sunshinemin: I WAS HOLDING MY PH ONE AND THEN IT WAS FALLING SO I MANAGED TO GET IT BACK BEFORE IT SHATTERED ON THE FLOOR (LIKE MY DREAMS) BUT IN DOING SO I LIKED THE PIC I AM DONE THIS IS IT GOODBYE WORLD IT'S BEEN A WILD RIDE
sunshinemin: oh god i gotta do something
TaeTaeflower: minnie whatever you do do not dislike the pic
goldenkook: hyung... do you think he...
sunshinemin: I PANICKED
TaeTaeflower: U DILISKED THE PIC THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS
sunshinemin: I'm going to jump into han river
sunshinemin: I want to end my life
goldenkook: ok, let's calm down. Hyung, don't worry about it he probably won't even notice
sunshinemin: what do u mean
TaeTaeflower: WHEN U DON'T WANT ME TO MOVE BUT U TELL ME TO GO
goldenkook: i mean that Yoongi-hyung has like 10.000 followers right
goldenkook: and he just posted that new selca so he's probably flooded with notifications
goldenkook: u will be mixed with those other notifications so he won't notice
goldenkook: i mean, probs
TaeTaeflower: I'd start walking to han river
TaeTaeflower: just in case
sunshinemin: yea fam u rite
[Private chat: CYPHER PT QUEER]
J-HOE: lmao u alive?
destroyermon: I'd sleep with your fucking eyes wide open Hoseok.
J-HOE: well someone forgot the HYUNG
J-HOE: also damn did Jin-hyung teach you of the terror a well placed dot can induce in a human? Cuz it's working
destroyermon: no, but you wanna know what hyung just taught me? That u r a piece of shit since I've been DENIED SEX FOR THE NEXT MONTH
J-HOE: Joons... tbh... u deserve it... since our laptop WILL PROBABLY BE DEAD FOR THE NEXT MONTH AS WELL
J-HOE: WE HAVE OUR TRACKS ON THAT THING
J-HOE: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO UH?! ( ಠ ಠ )
yoongles: kinda need to ask u something
destroyermon: yeah, what is it hyung?
J-HOE: LOOK AT HIM U QUICK AS FUCK WHEN IT COMES TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT
J-HOE: THE FUCKING USAIN BOLT OF SUBJECT CHANGING
yoongles: let's say
J-HOE: yeah right
yoongles: someone likes one of ur pics on instagram
yoongles: an old one like really old one
yoongles: but then u go on the pic and it doesn't show that they liked the pic
yoongles: what does that mean
J-HOE: lmao it means someone was stalking ur instagram and by mistake liked the pic and then tried to fix it by disliking it
destroyermon: how old is that pic
yoongles: 52 weeks
destroyermon: well shit
J-HOE: damn, dat means someone was really into your instagram lmao
destroyermon: u know who it was
yoongles: I think I reached heaven or something
J-HOE: * inhales * BOI
yoongles: is this what bliss tastes like?
destroyermon: damn hyung congrats
J-HOE: someone might finally get dat jibooty soon
J-HOE: ᶘ ͡°ᴥ͡°ᶅ
destroyermon: u know, those emoticons look real fucking sexual
J-HOE: thats cuz u r a pervert, namjoon.
yoongles: u wash your mouth before u even try mentioning Jimin's ass
J-HOE: I can't read suddenly I don't know
destroyermon: well, ask him out now
yoongles: what no
yoongles: the fuck
yoongles: u want me to see jesus?
J-HOE: why shouldn't u ask him out
J-HOE: he was stalking ur instagram
J-HOE: besides... everyone knows Jimin has had a crush on u since fucking forever
yoongles: who said that
yoongles: i'll choke them to death
yoongles: he's not into me tf
yoongles: he's too pure for me
yoongles: too good
yoongles: too hot
yoongles: too everything
yoongles: i'm not good enough are u kidding me he deserves the world not me
J-HOE: @GOD: are u seeing this shit?