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Carry You There

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Well I don't care what you say
don't have use for words anyway
You don't need a Cadillac
'Cause I'll be waiting with my bare back
To carry you there

Try
You don't have to be afraid to just rely
On someone to hold the
weight bottled inside
it's alright
It can get too much to handle by yourself
If you can't do it alone I
know you will say
I don't know what's at
stake or what it takes

'Cause I don't care what you say
don't have use for words anyway
You don't need a Cadillac
'Cause I'll be waiting with my bare back
To carry you there

Turn around
And you just might see the
good you've left behind
But you're all caught up with
words still left to find
it's never enough

So slow down
And the road of what you're
feeling might appear
All the pushing up the hill
has brought you here
And used up to lie
You tell me you are fine

But I don't care what you say
don't have use for words anyway
You don't need a Cadillac
'Cause I'll be waiting
Well I'll be waiting
To carry you there

So don't be too proud
I'm holding my hand out
you've been my friend on darker days
I'll still be there
Despite your despair
I don't really care what you say

I'll carry you there
I will carry you there

"Carry You There," Hanson

~~

December, 2009

The visitation room was big, sterile and loud. Everyone talking at a murmur seemed to somehow add up to a din. Not that it mattered; Jason and Tim weren't saying anything anyway. Jason was sitting in his chair, elbows on his knees and he was watching Tim, who had his head down, elbows on the table, hair curtaining off his face.

After a moment, Jason looked away and closed his eyes.

~~

June, 2010

The room hadn't changed at all. Jason was back, sitting in his same chair. The same dull roar of a bunch of people talking quietly surrounded them. Tim's head was down and after a moment, Jason reached out, running his fingers over Tim's hair. "Who cut your hair, Timmy?"

Tim frowned. He didn't want to talk about it. But then his lashes fluttered and his eyes closed and he very gently leaned into the touch. "Didn't want them to," he said with a shrug, still not looking at Jason. "How's Erin an' Noah?"

Jason looked away, shrugging as he lowered his hand. "They're in New Jersey. I'm here." And he smirked mirthlessly. "You tell me."

It was Tim's turn to reach out and he caught Jason's hand, fingers around his best friend's that was stiff and curled and it still hurt Tim's heart. He shrugged. "So, how are you?" He asked instead.

"They're in New Jersey and I'm here." Jason looked over at Tim, face serious and drawn. "Whoever cut your hair ... just tell 'em to at least make it even next time, huh?" And at that, he smiled, just a little, not pulling away from Tim's touch.

~~

July, 2010

The box, Jason pulled from his lap onto the table; it was clear it had been rifled through, but he said anyway, "From mom. She wanted to make sure you were eating right."

For some stupid reason, Tim thought he was going to cry. He slowly pulled the box closer to him, peering in, hair getting slightly longer again that soft wisps still covered his eyes. "Thanks." He pulled a cookie out and offered it to Jay. "You look like you're gettin' sun," he said with a slight shrug.

"Showing houses. I got my Real Estate license, you know. The folks seem to think that buying a house from a cripple is good Karma or something," Jason said with a laugh as he took the cookie, eating it in small, messy bites. "You okay?"

Tim had popped a whole cookie in his mouth. He swallowed before speaking, trying to avert his eyes. "That's great, Six. Real great." The contents of the box seemed to catch Tim's attention. "You seen Billy...?" There was a slight hitch and then he added, "and Mindy and the baby?"

"Not in a few weeks, no." And with that, Jason looked up and over at Tim, gaze sharpening. "When are you gonna tell me that you took the fall so he wouldn't have to go to jail, Timmy?"

That made Tim look up, his own gaze cloudy, darkly hazed. For a long moment he stared at Jason and then slowly, Tim blew a breath out. "He's got a family, Jay," was all he said. There was no use asking Jason how he found out.

"And you're a felon, Timmy. That seems fair." But the sharpness, quick as it was there, left the curve of Jason's shoulders. "What're you gonna do when you get out?"

"Find a job and a place to stay." Because he couldn't very well stay with Billy. They've been down that road before. Tim leaned close enough that their knees bumped and he had to pull Jason's chair as it slid back a little. "You need a roomie?" Tim smirked. It was the first time in a long time that he came close to a smile.

And at that, Jason laughed out loud. Loud enough that it drew attention to them. He shook his head. "Bad idea," he said, looking away.

Oh. Tim was kind of serious about it but what he did was shrug and make some indiscernible noise. "Maybe the first thing I should do is go to the Landing Strip and have a beer, huh?" Then maybe he could hook up with someone who'd put him up for the night, or several.

"Bad idea, Tim," Jason said again, shaking his head.

~~

August, 2010

Jason tucked the pictures back into his pocket with a small, sincere smile. "He's growin' up," he said quietly. "Guess he's walkin' and everything."

They sat close together, Tim's head practically propped on Jason's shoulder when they were looking at Noah's pictures. "Why're you here, Six?" Tim asked quietly.

Looking up, surprised, Jason said, "Am I bothering you? You got other people lined up to see you, Timmy?" He even looked around. "I don't see anybody else. But if I'm bothering you, I won't come."

That was Tim's point right there. No one else came to see him except maybe Coach and Mrs. T every now and again. But Jason? He was always there.

"Nah," Tim finally said, nudging Jason's shoulder.

"All right, then. You see who the Cowboys picked up free agent?" Jason laughed, shaking his head. "Don't know how they're thinking they're gonna get better."

~~

September, 2010

"Remember that?" Jason chuckled as he nudged a photo over so Tim could see it. "Spring break of, what was it, freshman year? Hanging out by the lake every day."

Tim was mostly watching Jason's face especially when he was smiling. Because for the longest time a while ago, it was rare to see that on his face. He had a small wistful smile on and he was nodding, wrapping one arm over Jason's shoulder. "One of our best summers," he said.

"Y'know, Six, that spot where I want the house? There's a small lake a few hundred yard from there." Yeah, it would be perfect, Tim thought.

"It'll be a long time before you can afford to build a house there," Jason reminded him. "It's great land." Then he looked down. "Could take Noah swimming, huh?"

"Yeah." Tim gave Jay a sidelong glance. "We already know you could swim." The corner of his lips quirked just a little, alluding to that time in Mexico when Jason decided to jump of that darned boat.

"Jerk," Jason laughed, throwing an elbow into Tim's ribs.

~~

October, 2010

Tim had his chin cupped in his hand and he was staring at Jason, his head cocked, his brows drawn together. "Think I should resurrect Riggins Riggs?" He only had a couple more months to go and they were talking about things that Tim could get into once he was back outside.

"They're not gonna let you within twenty miles of a garage, Timmy," Jason said, grimacing. "No more working on cars. Think about something else. Construction maybe?"

Well, Tim thought, it was worth a try. "Yeah. Maybe." Tim's fingers started to tap at his cheek. "Or we could flip a house again?" He waggled his brows at his best friend.

"You're tryin' to kill me," Jason groaned and laughed at the same time. "We actually wanna make some money and not kill each other, right?"

"Not gonna kill each other, Six, cos you need me. Someone's gotta make sure you don't eat too much jello." Not that he was going to live with Jay or anything like that. "We still have the dream, man. You and me and that ranch..."

"No NFL money, Timmy. We can't run a ranch. A cripple and a felon." And just saying that, Jason started to laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh.

It would have been funny, yeah. Only, truth was, Tim was scared. When he had Riggins Riggs with Billy he had -- something -- a future. Now? Well ... now he had nothing.

Tim looked over at Jason again and gave his best friend a rueful, lopsided smile.

"Oh, Timmy," Jason breathed out, rubbing the back of his hand against his eye. "Damn." Another breath and he nudged at Tim's shoulder. "We'll figure it out."

They'll figure it out.

Tim stared at Jason and wondered when his problems became a 'we' problem. He reached out and brushed his knuckles on the back of Jason's hand.

~~

December, 2010

When Tim stepped out into the sun outside the fence, there was the red pick-up waiting for him. the passenger window came down and there was Jason. "Well, c'mon already. Hot as hell out here."

Tim smiled. It was crooked, unsure. The breeze was making his hair hit his face but all he did was flick his head to get rid of it. But even through that, his eyes -- they never left Jason's.

"Where we goin'?" Tim threw the small duffel bag in the back of the truck and then was over on the passenger side, sliding in, elbow propped out the window.

"Home, I guess," Jason told him, giving him a smile as he pulled away. "I talked to Jimmy Tanner, too, the guy who owns the cotton farm on the far side of the county. He could use some help."

Slowly he turned his head and stared at Jason's profile, Tim shaking his head slowly side to side. Jay didn't need to do that for him -- a home and a job. It made him so happy it felt like he just touched God.

Tim's lips turned up in a smile that seemed brighter than the right now scorching Texan sun. "Yeah, Six ... let's go home."