Actions

Work Header

Bloom

Summary:

Sakura smiled. When she was hurt, when she was sad, when the world was falling down on her. Because she was a Good Girl. She WAS a Good Girl. She's not anymore. She's a kunoichi, with all the pain and strength and FREEDOM that comes with it. This flower has thorns. Watch her bloom.

Work Text:

It was natural. They were a team. They were family.

Sakura forgot they weren't her family at times.

"You're so full of it, Naruto."

"Sakura-chan! I'm serious!"

"I broke your arm in two places!"

"Lucky shot!"

"And when I broke your leg in four places?"

"Eh..."

"Congratulations, Ugly. You are not always useless," Sai complimented her.

Sakura didn't even look as she launched her fork at her teammate. Sai caught it just before it reached his face, wincing at the amount of force she'd used- not quite enough to sprain his wrist, but hard enough to let him know she could. He had to tilt his head to the side to avoid the spoon she threw after it, with enough force and speed that it embedded itself into the wall behind him halfway up the handle. "Congratulations, Sai, you sometimes aspire to something slightly higher than moving target."

Sai smiled falsely at her and Yamato-sensei sighed. He put his head in his hand as Sai threw the fork back at Sakura, aiming for her right eye.

She caught it less than an inch away and crumpled the metal in a casual display of her ungodly strength, smile widening. All three of them tensed and-

"Sakura!"

Reality crashed around her harshly. She wasn't out at a shinobi restaurant with her team. They weren't sitting down to eat at the training field after sparring.

They were in her house.

With her actual family.

"May I speak to you in the kitchen? Please."

Sakura flinched at the frigid tone. "Yes, Ma'am." She got up and followed her mother. The silence was brittle between them. It was a wonder, as much as she'd accomplished -medical ninja (medical combat ninja), apprentice to one of the Sannin, the Legendary Tsunade- and her mother could still make her feel like a fumbling child. "I'm sorry about the silverware. ...And the wall. I didn't mean to get carried away like that."

"Do you do that often?" her mother asked, with a tone of voice she couldn't quite pinpoint but that sent shivers of apprehension down her spine.

"...Projectile spoons? Crush forks?"

"Get carried away."

"I-" Define 'often'. I regularly reshape entire training fields- on a good day. On the bad days, we just cross those ones off the maps. She gave a weak smile. "I'm a ninja." She knew it was the wrong thing to say the moment the words left her mouth.

Her mother's shoulders stiffened and Sakura's hunched in with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

'Ninja talks' never went well. It was hard enough to explain to her very civilian parents why she wanted to become a human weapon in the first place. Sakura usually took pains to make sure the evidence of her shinobi life was hidden. She kept spare clothes at Ino's, made sure she healed herself completely so she didn't come home injured or bloody. Her parents' looks of incomprehension and disappointment were hard enough when she came home late at night suffering from chakra exhaustion and mental exhaustion and exhaustion-exhaustion. She smiled at them then, because that was how she'd been raised.

Never show how much you're hurting. Be pretty. Be a Good Girl. Dress well. Speak politely. Study hard. Good Girl. It was the only reason they'd let her enter the Academy in the first place. Because she'd been a Good Girl. Because they hadn't believed she would make genin.

And hadn't that hurt to discover? Not just a student, she was a ninja! And not just any ninja, either, Kunoichi of the Year! To come home, tired but so, so proud because she'd done it! -Only to watch the smile melt from her mother's face, watch her father's back tense, to hear the halting, "Well, that's... great, isn't it?"

Sakura had smiled then, while her heart ached in her chest with every beat. Smiled bright and cheerful like she hadn't been breaking, because she was a Good Girl.

"How long do you intend to continue this, Sakura?"

"This?" Don't, Mom. Please. Please know me better than this. Please understand. See me! Look at everything I've done! Aren't you proud of me?! ...Can't you be proud of me, just once?

Her mother took a breath and looked her in the eye. "This ninja-thing. You're not a child anymore. I'm... worried. I don't want this to get in the way of your life. Your future."

This is my life! This is my future! The pain completely blindsided her. Took her breath away with how bad it hurt. She'd become a ninja to prove that she could do it, but she'd stayed one to protect the people she loved. There were so many dangers out there and her parents were so very vulnerable to them all. Sakura had the power to protect them, how could she turn that down? Being a ninja wasn't something she did, it was who she was.

Her mother saw her casual strength, her casual violence, and worried that it was ruining her. She didn't see the sweat, the effort, the blood she'd shed to get the power to protect- To protect you, Mom.

You really don't understand at all, do you? You don't even want to try.

She wouldn't ever understand, would she? She was freedom, and strength. She was power and protection. Sakura was the mask, Kunoichi is who she was.

Sakura closed her eyes -to hide the tears she could feel welling- and smiled -because she was a Good Girl, dammit- "It's not a 'thing', Mom. I'm a ninja. I will always be a ninja."

"No! You listen to me, Sakura Haruno. You listen well. I'm not going to have my daughter going out there and-"

"And risking my life? Mom, I've been almost-dying since I was twelve."

Her mother choked. "No more. No more! I'm putting a stop to it. I should have put a stop to it a long time ago."

"Mom-" She didn't even know what to say. No, that was a lie. She just didn't want to say it. Could feel herself teetering on the edge of a place she wouldn't be able to come back from.

"Sakura, please. You're such a good girl, don't let this ruin you."

This isn't my ruination. It's my resurrection. It's not killing me, Mom, it's what saved my life. What would she have ever had without being a ninja? Not Ino, not her team, not her mentor. She wouldn't be Sakura without Kunoichi under the mask of Good Girl.

"But I'm not." She looked up, not ashamed of her tears as her childhood dreams shattered cleanly, with a heart-wrenching finality. Her mother would never understand, she knew now. Would never look at everything she'd accomplished and be proud of her daughter. And that- that's okay. Really, it is. Because she still had Ino and Naruto and Kakashi-sensei. She even had Sai. "I'm not a Good Girl. I am a ninja."

She turned to walk away and felt her mother grab her. "Sakura! I am your mother and you will listen to me! As long as you live under my roof, you will follow my rules and I'm telling you, you will stop with this!"

The abyss yawned wide in front of her, she could step back onto safe ground, or she could jump- and maybe fly. Either way, there would be no going back.

Sakura turned around and held out her hands to her mother, who clung hard to her. "I love you." So, so much. Nights spent up with her when she was sick, being taught how to cook, how to take care of her hair. Crying into her mother's chest over losing Ino. Over being the weakest of her team. Over losing Sasuke. So many precious memories.

But she wasn't a child anymore. She wasn't a child to protect anymore. She was the protector, even if her parents couldn't understand that.

Sakura squeezed hard, held tight to her mother with all her heart, and then she let go. "Love you always."

"Sakura." She turned and walked away. "Sakura!" She didn't stop. She couldn't. She ran. "SAKURAAA!"

Past her father, past her team, out of the house that had once been her home, Sakura ran. The tears running down her face didn't stop her from laughing.

She wasn't alone long, Naruto coming up on her left and Sai on her right, Yamato-sensei a presence she could feel in the distance. It was natural. They were a team. They were a family.

Why do the people we love the most have the power to hurt us? It's not fair. But life wasn't fair. She was a ninja. She knew that. She smiled, not because she was a Good Girl, but because even though it hurt -it hurt so much- it was a relief, too. She wouldn't go back for the things in that house, there was no going back anymore, only forward. She had the money for an apartment, for new clothes, and her ninja gear was with her always. No more hiding who she was anymore, no more Good Girl Sakura.

She was Kunoichi.

"Are you okay, Sakura-chan?"

She'd smiled when Naruto and Sasuke had protected her as a child. She'd smiled when she asked Naruto to get Sasuke back for her because she wasn't strong enough, when they constantly left her behind. She'd smiled when the boy she loved had tried to kill her.

It hurt. It always did. But she smiled and she got back up again and she got stronger every time the world tried to break her. Tried to kill her.

She smiled now. It hurt. It always did. But she would get stronger. She always did.

"I will be."

Series this work belongs to: