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A Matter Of Taste by DehydratedWater

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A Matter Of Taste by DehydratedWater

Summary: A series of short stories that share the general theme of various foods. Some gen, some slashy stuff, all A & C. Ratings vary by story.
Categories: General Fanfic, Slash Fanfic, Drabbles Characters: Aziraphale, Crowley
Genres: General, Humour, Romance
Warnings: Language (mild), Slash (medium), Slash (mild)
Chapters: 3 Completed: No
Word count: 861 Read: 1078
Published: 05 Apr 2010 Updated: 05 Apr 2010

 

Author's Notes:

Inspired by thoughts that occurred while eating some candy eggs and reading GO fanfics. Rating: K

Disclaimer: Crowley and Aziraphale are not mine. Aside from belonging to themselves (and perhaps each other), they are the property of the wonderful Mr. Pratchett and the equally wonderful Mr. Gaiman. I also make no profit from this fanfiction, although actually having something in my bank account would be a nice change of pace.


 

 

Candy Eggs by DehydratedWater

 

The shop's bell tinkled as Crowley casually walked in, acting as if Easter hadn't just happened the day before. Aziraphale was used to this yearly routine of Crowley's, where the demon would go into hiding a few days before the start of Holy Week and only reappear once everything was over and done with. Crowley had once said he did it because the religious vibes- or fervor, as he'd actually put it- coming from the Christians always got to be a little too much for him around this time. Given how attending various Easter services caused him to feel a peaceful sort of euphoria which tended to last the rest of the day, Aziraphale understood.

"So, you up for trying that new Thai place that just opened up?" Crowley asked as he reached into a blue plastic bag he was holding and popped an equally blue roundish something into his mouth.

"As long as they have something that isn't too spi-" Aziraphale stopped and stared as Crowley ate another candy. "Are those what I think they are?"

"Yup," he replied as he reached in for another candy egg. "Got 'em on sale."

The various thoughts that had suddenly arisen were crowding around in his head, each wanting to be first in having the angel voice its particular aspect of the situation's multiple ironies. One of them finally made it past his lips.

"You're... eating eggs."

"Um, no. I'm eating candy-coated chocolates designed to look like eggs. And I know what you're thinking, but when it all comes down to it, 'Easter' candy is still just candy."

"Still, it's rather ironic that you would be eating something egg-shaped in the first place."

Crowley quirked an eyebrow. "Oh? How so?"

"Well, I was reading an old issue of National Geographic the other day, and it had this article about snakes..."

There was a long pause, during which Crowley lowered his sunglasses so that Aziraphale could actually see him roll his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, snakes eating eggs whole," the demon grumbled. "I thought I already told you once that I prefer omelets. But if you're so inclined to automatically apply what you read in a nature magazine to me..."

Trailing off, Crowley popped another candy into his mouth and proceeded to swallow it without chewing. Aziraphale rushed over to him immediately, panic on his face as he wrapped his arms around him from behind and proceeded to give him something resembling the Heimlich maneuver.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Crowley croaked out after coughing up the candy and pushing Aziraphale away. "You sodding idiot!"

"But... you shouldn't be so reckless like that! You could have..."

"You could have broken my bloody ribs! Do you even know how to do a proper Heimlich?"

"Well, not really... but I'd rather risk cracking a few ribs than watch you discorporate yourself due to stupidity and Easter candy. I'm pretty sure there's some sort of award that you can earn for that nowadays."

Crowley just looked at him stunned. When had Aziraphale learned about the Darwin Awards?



Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Text

"Come one, Angel," said Crowley as they headed to the Bentley. "I made this reservation two days ago, and I'll be da- uh, pissed if we lose our table."

"You made a reservation?" asked Aziraphale as he buckled himself in.

"Well, yeah. I went and ordered us a dish that had to be reserved in advance."

"Really?" The thought that Crowley had already ordered for him without even telling him was slightly irksome. "What, pray tell?"

"Beijing duck. Though I don't know why they can't just call it Peking duck like they used to... must be part of that 'political correctness' thing I came up with."

Aziraphale's face fell. "Oh, dear. I'm not sure I could eat that."

"But you like poultry. And they go to all that trouble to make it. You don't want to upset the chefs, do you?"

"Yes, but... it'll still have the head on, won't it? I really don't think I could possibly look my food in the eyes as I'm eating it."

"So we'll have the head cut off! Besides, there's worse things that can be done to waterfowl. Consider how foie gras is made."

Later on, Aziraphale would firmly deny that he had whimpered.



Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Text

I'm Resisting The Urge To Make A "Berry" Pun by DehydratedWater

 

Author's Notes:

Just a sweet bit of something short and slashy. Rating: K


 

Crowley was watching Aziraphale as he ate strawberries from a plastic carton and it was maddening. The sound of teeth sinking into soft fruit flesh. Flashes of pink tongue between lips now painted red. A drop of juice slowly crawling down the angel's chin. And how his eyes were closed in the sheer enjoyment of it. Yes, truly, he found the whole thing quite maddening. Gulping to clear the lump in his throat, Crowley finally interrupted the tantalizing display.

"I want some of that," he said.

"Oh," said Aziraphale. "I didn't see you there. By all means, help yourself."

"I intend to," replied Crowley right before he put his arms around the angel and kissed him.

Aziraphale pulled away sputtering. Crowley licked his lips.

"My dear, that is not what I meant!"

"It's what I meant," the demon replied as he pulled the angel into another kiss.


 


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.