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I Dream of Darcy

Chapter Text

For years Darcy sat in the chamber of her home, a thousands years of solitude. She was trapped to say the least. She could change the interior how she wanted get anything she needed with the flick of her wrist, she just couldn’t leave. She found many of her days spent looking up at the dark encompass that was the cork to her domain. Until one day, her world shifts. Literally.

Darcy topples over her couch with an “Oof” before she is rolled in the opposite direction nearly missing bumping her head on a side table. With a quick brush of her fingers she stabilizes her dimension, unused to having to do so after so many years sitting in the same position. She rushes towards the nearest purple wall and presses her ear to it, hearing the muffled voices of men. She feels a bubble of excitement, as she dances around the confines of her room before she makes her self-calm down.

She sits down on her lilac chaise, in preparation for her freedom and she waits, and waits… and waits, and then she falls asleep.

She wakes up with a jolt at the sound of the cork popping off of her bottle, and finds she’s still trapped.

“Great.” She huffs, what little excitement she’d had dying as the natural light dissipates from her room when her bottle is re-corked. She’d even dressed up! She’d donned her best garb, a pair of Purple flowing pants that hugged her waist and billowed out as it went down, gold cuffs hugging the pants to her ankles. Her top the match with its billowing sleeves that attached to a top that cuts off just above her navel.

She releases a frustrated groan, that goes unheard, before plopping face first onto the pillows of her bed.

Sometime later Darcy once again wakes up to the sound of her bottle being uncorked, she doesn’t even let the hope kindle before turning over in bed. It’s not until her bottle fills up with smoke and her body begins to dissipate with it that an excited giggle escapes her.

“Oh, my God, thank you! honestly, I’ve been trapped in there for who knows how long!” She chimes with a bone cracking stretch. “Anyway, I’m Darcy the Genie of this here lamp…and.” Darcy pauses as she gets a look at her Master. The woman, no taller than herself, dons rumpled cloths and a messy bun. She stands frozen with Darcy’s uncorked Periwinkle glass bottle in her hands.

“I know, I know it’s a lot to take in.” Darcy says with a smirk.

“You’re a- a- a-“ the woman tries.

“A genie.”

“And you came out of… out of the.” She stutters, to Darcy’s amusement.

“The bottle…” Darcy finishes slowly.

“How? … Genie’s don’t exist.” The woman argues.

Darcy rolls her eyes before looking around at her new surroundings. “and yet, here I am.” Darcy parries, with wiggling fingers. She comes across a white board littered with equations. She tilts her head to the side as she studies it before turning back to her master. The Woman still seems unable to grasp what’s going on.

“Fine, make a wish.” Darcy announces.

“A wish?” She asks, setting down Darcy’s previous prison.

“Yeah. I’ll grant it, proving that I am in fact a Genie, Your genie.” She intones.

Jane frowns before nodding. “Okay I wish for coffee.” The woman says with confidence.

Darcy frowns eyeing the coffee maker situated on the counter in the kitchen with a raised eyebrow.

“It broke last week, and I am dying for a cup.” She admits sheepishly.

“Fine. One cup of coffee, coming right up.” Darcy holds one palm up and uses the other hand to wave dramatically around it before a thermos appears. She holds it out for her master to take and waits patiently as the woman eyes it dubiously. She seems to shrug before taking it and popping the lid off.

Darcy has a moment to jolt and rush out. “Careful it’s ..”

“Ooh it’s hot!” Her Master hisses, and then her eyes widen comedically. “Oh my God you’re a Genie!”

“Genie, Jinni call me what you want just don’t call me late for dinner.” Darcy jokes.

Her new master levels her with an unimpressed look before releasing a gasp, “Did I just waste one of my three wishes on coffee? Nice one Foster.” She finishes with a pout.

“Foster?” Darcy asks excitedly, finally getting an idea of who her master was, before pausing. “wait three wishes?” She asks confused.

Her master pales. “Do I only get one?”

Darcy frowns at that “You can make as many wishes as you want, Master.” Darcy says tacking on the formality.

“Master?” she says with a dissatisfied frown. “I don’t want to be anyone’s master.”

Darcy freezes, before visibly drooping. “You don’t want to be my master?”

“Not yours specifically, I just mean in general. Oh my- are you crying?” she asks, eyes wide.

Darcy lets out a sniffle before wiping away a stray tear. “A thousand years I spent in that bottle, just wishing and hoping that someone would come along and free me. To need me! and here you are and you don’t! Why!?” Darcy sobs dramatically

The woman quickly rushes towards her. “I didn’t mean it that way. I could need you I just don’t want to be your master.” She rectifies.

“You need me but you don’t want to be my master? But I want a master!” Darcy shrieks. “I want to grant Your Wishes!”

The woman seems to think on it. “Why me?” She finally asks.

“Because you freed me! I’m bound to you!” Darcy explains, with determination.

“Don’t you want to be unbound?” Her not master asks, watching Darcy as if she’s a puzzle.

Darcy takes a minute to think on it. of course she'd thought about it, but her power was greater when it was used to grant wishes, verses doing mundane tasks for herself. And Darn it she enjoys the company... most of the time. “Don’t you want me to grant your wishes?” She challenges.

The woman frowns before looking around at the room. “There are a few things I’d wish for.” She admits.

“See I can help!” Darcy pleads.

“But I still don’t feel right with the whole servitude thing. How about an assistant?” she placates.

“A what?” Darcy questions with a frown.

“You’d be my assistant. Get things I need, help me with my work.  Are you any good with data cataloging?” The woman asks.

“I… You want me to …. What?” Darcy stutters.

“Then it’s settled Genie, I wish for you to be my Assistant.” She orders.

Darcy looks down at herself as she feels the contract adjust around its new territory, though nothing physically changes. “It’s Darcy.” She says as an afterthought.

“Hmm?” Her Boss? Mutters around the thermos of still hot coffee.

“My name isn’t Genie, It’s Darcy.” She explains with a slight smile.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Dr. Jane Foster, but please call me Jane!” Jane says with a smile of her own.

Chapter Text

“My name isn’t Genie, It’s Darcy.” She explains.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Dr. Jane Foster, but please call me Jane!” Jane says with a smile.

Darcy nods at that, something clicking into place with the admission “So you’d be my…” Darcy asks, just for clarification.

“Your boss.” Jane says with a chuckle.

At that Darcy smiles “Okay, boss, so what do we do first?” She prods.

“Um first, can you help me with this mess? I think there’s mold growing in some places.” Jane says.

Darcy snaps her fingers and the room becomes spotless. Jane swears she can see a glisten as she turns, and freezes.

“No,no,no no!” Jane cries rushing towards her blank white board.

Darcy frowns. “Is something wrong?”

“All my work it’s gone!” Jane says whirling around.

“Oh.” Darcy says with a relieved chuckle before snapping again.

“Oh? Is that all you can say? I’ve been up for who knows how long, working on that and-” Jane cuts off when Darcy turns her back towards the board only to see her scrawl returned to its rightful place.

“Oh, thank God.” Jane Sighs before plopping into the nearest chair.

“Now, how long have you been up working on this?” Darcy asks, zeroing in on that tidbit of information.

Jane shrugs noncommittally. “Three days at most. I came across a break through, the other night.”

“Well that settles it.” Darcy announces.

“Settles what?” Jane asks, confusion tinging her eyes.

“It’s time for you to get some rest.”

“I thought I was the boss.”

“You are, but just because you call me your assistant, doesn’t change the fact that I’m still here to take care of your needs.” Darcy returns feeling the truth of it in her bones. “Right, so I’ll take care of this, and you can Wash up, and go to sleep. I’ll even bring you some food!”

“I just drank half a thermos of coffee, and the data needs to be entered.” Jane tries.

Darcy eyes the half empty thermos of coffee. “Coffee keeps you awake?”

Jane nods with hopeful triumph.

“Noted. Fine, Shower and food. We’ll work on the sleeping a little later.”

“But the data!!” Jane insist.

“I’ll get that, don’t you worry.” Darcy chimes, before pushing her towards the hallway where she assumes a bathroom would lay. Now... Data entry..

“Do you even know how to use a computer?” Jane calls back.

“A what?” Darcy mumbles with a frown.

Jane comes rushing back out with a vengeance. “You don’t, do you?!”

Darcy finally takes a minute to breathe in, letting her magic survey the new era that she’s in, as Jane rants beside her.

“Oh, wow. Humans have come a long way.” Darcy breathes. “So, I just put all the stuff you’ve written down onto the computer?”

“Wait, that fast? You think you can use a computer…”

Darcy shrugs. “yeah..”

“Well okay, I prefer it to be handwritten before you put it into the computer.” Jane Explains nervously.

Darcy frowns before agreeing and sending her boss off. She turns to the portable computer on the desk and the many notebooks surrounding it.  She takes a moment to send a warm meal to her boss before she settles down in front of the desk and gets to work.

Jane must fall asleep because she doesn’t come back out until the next day.

“Good morning” Jane greets before picking up one of the notebooks.

“Morning.” Darcy mumbles as she continues to scroll through the internet.

“Have you been up all night?” Jane asks, continuing her perusal.

“Mhm.” Darcy murmurs eyes glued to the screen

“Are you okay? Do Genies need sleep?” Jane asks dubiously.

“So many cats, boss, so many cats.” Darcy mutters.

“Oh man, how long did you say you were in that bottle?” Jane says with a giggle.

“One Thousand years.” Darcy answers offhandedly as she clicks on the next video of kittens in a basket.

Jane slow blinks at that before they’re both snapped from their respective dazes by an obscenely loud alarm.

“What is that?” Darcy questions poofing a pair earplugs into her ears as Jane follows the noise to a cushion on the couch.

“My phone. I set an alarm for... something.” she returns, finally freeing the object. She silences the alarm before paling.

“Is something wrong?” Darcy asks, the earplugs disappearing with the noise.

“I forgot I had a conference to go to, I’ll never make it in time.” She huffs.

Darcy rolls her eyes before snapping her fingers.

Jane startles as she takes in Darcy’s new Pencil skirt and blouse, before gasping at her own Pantsuit.

Darcy raises her hand to snap again, to poof them there, before Jane stops her.

“I don’t care what you do in here, but out there, you can’t exist. You’ve saved me enough time that we can drive. But I need you to be normal. Human.” Jane reiterates.

“Human. Got it.” Darcy nods, following Jane out the front door.

Jane spends half of the ride explaining to Darcy what it is she does, and the other half on how to be normal.

Darcy spends most of the ride with her face pressed to the glass as she takes in the many cars and buildings they pass.

“Where are we?” She asks interrupting Jane’s tirade.

Jane cuts off with a frown. “Virginia.”

Darcy repeats the word back to herself, watching as a giant building grows larger as the car approaches it.

“Is this the school you work at?” Darcy gapes, trying and failing to compare the large facility to what she remembers about education

“Temporarily. Yes.”


It isn’t long before she and Jane are situated in a room surrounded by people as they mill about.

“These are your colleagues?” Darcy questions.

Jane only nods, fidgeting nervously beside her. Though she quickly stops as a man approaches.

“Oh God!” She hisses slapping Darcy’s arm, who startles at the contact before looking in the same direction as her boss.

“Who’s he?” she whispers, eyeing the man in a gray thread suit, and blonde hair.

“My Ex… Hi Donald.” She breaks off mid-sentence as the man stops in front of them.

“Jane, it’s good to see you.” He says with the fakest smile Darcy has ever had to bear witness to.

“Mhm… this is my Assistant Darcy.” Jane introduces when his eyes slide to her.

“Your assistant? I didn’t know you had the funding for that.” Donald challenges.

 Jane nearly flinches at her mistake.

“I’m more of an intern, Darcy Lewis.” She interjects with a shark like smile.

Donald visibly takes a step back.

“Oh, an intern? Are you a student.” He continues bravely.

“Yup.” Darcy returns, popping the P. “Political science major, I know what you’re probably thinking, but I needed the credits, and Jane needed the Intern. Now if you’ll excuse us.”  She quickly grabs Jane’s hand and maneuvers them far enough away from Donald before stopping.

“Political science?” Jane asks, baffled.

“Yeah I was thinking about it all the way over here in the car.” Darcy mumbles, searching the room.

“Darcy if he looks you up.” Jane begins

“He’ll find everything he needs to know. Don’t worry Boss I got this handled.” Darcy says with a wink. “Now I’ve got to ask, are you the only woman here? Because this is turning out to be a real sausage fest.”

“Don’t make me regulate your internet usage.” Jane says with a frown, but Darcy notices the slight up lift of her lips that she fights and calls it a win.

“What? I may be… old, but I did some research and since I look to be in my early twenties, I’ve got to talk like I’m in my early twenties.”

“Please tell me you didn’t.”

“Just wait until you see my new wardrobe.”

Jane lets out a chuckle at that, making Darcy smile which immediately turns back into a frown.

“but seriously, are there no ladies?”

“Um Betty should be around here somewhere…” Jane replies, before searching the room. She finds her in the opposite corner of the room, talking to two men.                 “There.” Jane says triumphantly.

“She looks like she could use some saving!” Darcy cheers before dragging Jane toward the woman, nearly toppling the men in front of her in the process.

“Oh Dr. Foster.” Betty greats with a relieved smile.

“Dr. Ross, please call me Jane.” She says with a grin of her own..

“Then call me Betty.” The woman returns

“And this is my Intern Darcy.” Jane adds.

Darcy smiles and opens her mouth to speak, before she is interrupted by the clearing of a throat behind her.

“Excuse me we were having a discussion.” The balding man intones.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Foster, meet.” Betty begins.

“Dr. Fredrick Lincoln, so you’re the astrophysicist who believes in “Einstein Rosen Bridges” he intoned.

Darcy can hear the quotation marks and has to fight back an eye roll.

“That I do.” Jane says proudly.

“I just don’t see how you can dedicate your life to a theoretical science.”

Darcy can feel the magic crackling in her veins and is one snap from transporting him to Alaska when Jane gets in his space.

“Excuse me, what do you do again?”

“I study the structural and dynamic properties of molecules and”

Jane cuts him off, “I’m sorry are you talking about theoretical Chemistry?”

“Well quantum chemistry...” he tries

“Uses theories.” Jane whispers, before turning completely away from the man, effectively shutting him out.

Darcy giggles sending a little magic his way for emphasis.

As the man takes a step away from them he trips, stumbling and splashing his drink into the person nearest him.

“Ooh, not the dean!” Betty says with a wince.

“The dean?” Darcy asks as she bites back another bout of giggles.

“The head of the science department.” Jane offers through her own chortles.


Jane plops down on the couch with an exaggerated sigh once they’ve returned home.

“That was exhausting.” She huffs.

Darcy nods as she takes the seat beside her. “So, what now?” Darcy asks.

“We drink.” Jane huffs pulling a bottle she'd grabbed from the cabinet.

Jane and Darcy are pleasantly tipsy, and curled up on the sofa as they continue to nurse said bottle.

“So, what’s the deal with Donald.” Darcy prods, the name coming out with a belch.

“He was an ass!”

“You dated him.” Darcy reminds her, taking another sip from her glass.

“He wasn’t always an ass, just once he started making head way, he started treating me like what I did didn’t matter. I don’t know...” Jane huffs leaning over the edge of the couch.

“oh no. no,no no..” Darcy drawls, pulling Jane back up to face her. “You’ll get there!”

Jane gives her a slightly watery smile, and Darcy doesn’t even try to squash the urge to wrap the woman in more blankets and drag her in for a hug.

“You think so?” Jane mumbles from her new position, her head in Darcy’s lap as she runs warm fingers through her hair.

“I know so.” Darcy returns.

After a moment of silence Jane turns over.

“Where do you sleep?” She asks.

“I don’t need much sleep but, when I do, I sleep on the couch.”

“I thought Genies stayed in their bottles?” Jane asks.

“Oh.” Darcy says, disappointment tinging her words. “I can. I just. If you want me to stay in their… I’ll”

Jane immediately sits up at that before placating her. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I was just curious.”

Darcy visibly relaxes. “Oh, usually we do… but the last time I went in someone put the lid on and I couldn’t get back out.”

Jane’s eyes widen at that. “You mean you were actually trapped in there for a thousand years?”

Darcy nods solemnly.

“Jesus Darce! Why not just break the thing?”

“Well it is my house, and it comes with the magic. I’m not sure what would happen if someone broke it.” she admits.

“Well then...” Jane strides over to the bottle. For a minute, Darcy’s afraid she’ll break it but then Jane uncorks it, and sits the bottle back down. Sitting back on the couch she hands Darcy the lid.

“There that way, no one can close you back in. Is that how it works?” Jane says.

Darcy stares at the lid in her hand, before looking up at Jane. “Thank you.” she whispers.

“You’re welcome.” Jane returns before hitting play on the next episode of Parks and recreation.


Looking around she explores the apartment, noting the one bedroom, the one bathroom. How the kitchen area goes into what Jane uses as her workspace but is more than likely the living room-Dining room area. When she runs out of things to do Darcy turns back to the internet.

“Can I borrow your laptop again?”

“Can’t you just poof your own?” Jane asks absentmindedly.

“I need to borrow yours to do it” Darcy says with a shrug.

Jane looks up at that. “Okay, oh what about a cellphone” She adds as an afterthought.

Darcy nods, before brightening “What about one of those music devices I saw online?” Darcy asks with wide eyes.

“An Ipod?” Jane asks.

Darcy nods enthusiastically.

“I don’t have one of those.”

“I’ll do my best then.” She says with a shrug before bringing them over to the counter. “Thanks Boss.”

“You can call me Jane...” she adds before returning to her work.

Darcy smiles at that before conjuring her new electronics on the counter. She takes her time setting each item up the way she wants; Situated in the softest pair of sleep pants she could imagine, and a t-shirt with the winky face emoji. She notices Jane still in yesterday’s clothes, minus shoes, and does the same for her.

The only tell she gets the Jane notices is the relaxed slouch to her shoulders. Darcy smiles at a job well done before duplicating the items she has. She quickly looks up an IPod before attempting to conjure one. She lets out an earsplitting shriek when she succeeds, Jane laughing at her antics from her desk. “Music.” She says with a grin. She adds new songs, old songs, older songs that she remembers but were never recorded for the new age. She organizes them in playlist, for her different moods, different energies. And once she’s satisfied, She realizes it’s the next day. Finding Jane in the same position she left her in makes her frown. With a snap, she replaces the pencil Jane was chewing on with a Pop tart.

When it breaks off in her mouth Jane pause minutely. She looks down confused before her eyes find Darcy,

“What?” Darcy asks innocently.

Jane only shakes her head before chewing, and resuming staring at her work. “I’ll need the pencil back.”

“You’ll have it back once you’ve finished.” Darcy placates.

Darcy turns back to her IPod, but her eyes catch on her Genie bottle, where it’s been sitting since she decided not to go inside it. IPod in hand she walks towards her previous prison.

Jane seems to notice across the room, and soon Darcy finds her boss beside her.

“Everything okay?”

“I think so, it’s just, the bottle wasn’t supposed to be a prison, I didn’t use to mind being in there, it was my home.” Darcy explains.

Jane nods beside her. “Can you turn it into something else? Like with your magic.”

“Don’t know.”

“Well give It a try.” Jane shrugs, squeezing Darcy’s shoulder gently before returning to her work.

Darcy stares at it a minute longer, before eyeing the Device in her hands. “Let’s find out.” She murmurs.

She brings the two items back to the counter, and after staring at the two and getting a feel of the mechanics of each. She snaps her finger, but comes up short when nothing happens.

“Try holding it.” Jane suggests from beside her, making Darcy jump.

“Holy hell Jane. I’m trying to focus here.”

“I’m just tryna help.” Jane says with a chuckle.

Begrudgingly Darcy picks up the bottle, and much like with the thermos, she uses her other hand to wave ominously around her bottle; only for more nothing to happen.


“Aha!” She shrieks three hours later.

Jane slightly startles, but comes over and takes a look.

“Nice.” Jane hums, at the now sleek looking Purple music player.

“I forgot to put the lid on!” Darcy laughs.

Jane thinks it sounds a bit hysterical but doesn’t mention it.

Darcy pushes the button to turn it on but nothing happens. “Aww.” She pouts.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Darcy lets her head droop to the side, resting it on Jane’s shoulder.

“I thought I did everything right.”

Jane pats her head consolingly as they both stare at it. “How do you usually activate your genie Bottle?”

Darcy’s head pops up immediately, nearly missing Jane’s in the process.

She straightens up before sending a small bout of her essence towards the device. Immediately the screen lights up, and Darcy place’s an earphone in her ear. As she does the song that had been stuck in her head begins to play.

“Convenient” she hums.


“It plays what I’m thinking. I wonder if I can make it play certain songs by my mood.” She explains excitedly.

Chapter Text

Darcy wakes from her sleeping position on the couch to an incessant beeping. “Boss?” she calls. “Jane?”

Upon getting no response Darcy follows the beeping noise to one of Jane’s doo dads. Darcy stares at it bleary eyed for five minutes as she has no idea what it’s for or why it’s making that noise, before shuffling down the hall. She comes back with an equally bleary eyed Jane, before they come to a stop in front of it.

“Make it stop.” Darcy says, before returning to the couch.

The noise finally cuts out five long minutes later only to be replaced by Jane’s excited squeal.

Darcy pops back up, watching as Jane rushes towards her.

“Darcy look!” Jane say excitedly pushing a piece of paper under her nose.

Darcy flicks on the nearest light before looking at the paper.

“Pretty colors. What do they mean.”

“It means, there’s finally a location where I can witness an actual borealis.”

Darcy lets out a yawn. “mhm, where’s that?”

Jane looks closer at the paper, the colors and the coordinates before rushing over to her computer.

“New Mexico!” Jane finally answers after typing the information in.

“Alright!” Darcy cheers halfheartedly.

“I have to call the school, I’ll need …. We’ll need a new place to stay. “

“Got it.” Darcy announces before cuddling back up on the couch.

“Got what?”

“We’ll I’m your assistant, right?”


“Good, I took care of it. “ Darcy says with finality

“How.” Jane insists.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, Dear, I’ve handled it. I’ll have everything packed in a jiffy and we can leave whenever you’re ready.”

“But the school.”

“Has been notified, by email. I might add.” Darcy mollifies as she ushers Jane back to her room.

Darcy somehow maneuvers Jane back into bed before the scientist even realizes it. Back in the living room, she snaps her finger and everything vanishes. Proud of her work she returns to the lone couch in the center of the room before drifting back off.

Only to be woken up four hours later by Jane’s shout.

“WE’VE BEEN ROBBED!” Jane cries.

Darcy nearly falls of the couch. “What where?” she calls pushing the loose dark strands of hair out of her face.

“All my work its” Jane whimpers

“In New Mexico, waiting for you!” Darcy chimes.

“What? Why?” Jane asks, whirling around to face Darcy.

“Because you told me too.”

“What when?” she asks, looking as confused as Darcy is tired.

“Last night, when the Doo Hicky went off and you said we needed to go to New Mexico.” Darcy explains patiently.

“That wasn’t a dream?” Jane asks, slowly starting to vibrate with excitement.

“Nope, and I’ll have us there in a jiffy.”

“Wait!” Jane calls stopping Darcy’s upraised hand.

“What.” She asks, freezing in place

“We need to keep up appearances!” Jane reminds her.

“How are we going to get to New Mexico Jane. How?” Darcy ask folding her arms across her chest.

“We gas up the pingauzer and we go on a road trip.” Jane says with finality.

Darcy mulls it over before a smile slowly spreads across her face. “I’ve got the perfect playlist.”

Twenty-six hours later because, no Darcy you cannot magic away my full bladder; Though Darcy swears she saw Jane mull it over, and they are in front of a repurposed building that neither of them are sure of what it was to begin with. But with its floor to ceiling windows making up half of it the two quickly go in to escape the New Mexico heat. “I pray the air conditioning works” Jane huffs.

“It does now” Darcy returns. The air kicking on with a hum in response.

Jane takes a self guided tour around the place as Darcy looks out at the desert from the wide windows.

By the time Jane comes back, all the boxes are unpacked and everything is where she’d expect it to be. She sends a furtive glance at Darcy and the windows before taking in the town outside of them.

“We may need curtains.” Jane says after a moment.

Darcy only shrugs before walking toward the windows a string materializing at its edge. Darcy pulls it until the windows are completely covered with shades before turning back to Jane with a smile.

“Right.” Jane says before getting lost in preparation.

Darcy watches Jane for Ten minutes before declaring herself bored and turning to internet shopping. She drags herself from her stupor hours later (after she’s found a few beanies she likes) with a shake. “Internet in moderation.”  She reminds herself before going to check on Jane.

Jane drags Darcy every other night for a month to study the night sky, and after finding out what ever she needs Jane makes a call. Two days later Dr. Erik Selvig arrives.

A knock on the door draws both of their attention.

“Can you get that?” Jane calls.

Darcy nods pulling out one of her earphones before moving forward.

“What’s the password?”

“Jane?” The man calls.

“Close enough.” Darcy giggles, before opening the door.

“You’re not Jane.”

“For future reference the password is banana nut peanut butter.”

The older gentleman eyes Darcy, before nodding. “Noted.”

Darcy immediately decides she likes him as she steps aside to let him in. “Also, I’m Darcy. Jane’s intern.” She states proudly. “Jane! Dr. Selvig’s here!!” Darcy yells, even though Jane’s work area is in the same room as the front door.

“Please call me Erik.” The man corrects as he follows her to Jane.

“Erik!” Jane chimes happily, jumping up to hug her mentor.

“Jane, it’s so good to see you! I didn’t know you’d hired an intern, good for you!”

“uh, yeah.” Jane mumbles scratching her head.

Darcy watches intrigued as Jane drags him into her work, and it only takes two hours to realize she’ll be taking care of both of them. So she finds a way to slip both of them protein bars without either of them noticing, before returning to her own devices.



Darcy is finally starting to feel like she is getting the hang of being normal, when a man falls out of the sky. This is around the time that she also comes to terms with the fact that scientist are crazy.

Because when a giant rainbow storm cloud touches down, she’s almost positive that driving towards it is not the “normal” thing to do. And as Jane and Erik study the markings in the ground, she watches the behemoth of a man stumble to his feet. So, she carefully conjures a Taser and aims it at him.

“You dare point so puny a weapon at Thor?” the giant asks, and then he pauses giving Darcy the most scrutinizing look she’s ever been under.

“Your overconfidence is your weakness!” Darcy pars before firing.

The man drops with a trembling shake before going still.

“Star Wars Darcy, Really?”  Jane asks through her incredulity.

Darcy just shrugs, she'd marathoned it over the weekend and now knew exactly what Jane would be for Halloween, as She and Erik gather the man to move him to the vehicle.

“and when did you get a Taser?”

“I saw it on the internet!” Darcy grunts, though the excitement is clear in her eyes.

The man doesn’t wake up on the drive to the hospital, or once they’ve dropped him off. And after the three figure out that he seemed to be in the anomaly he disappears, only to reappear as Jane backs out of her parking spot at the hospital.

“I swear I’m not doing this on purpose!” Jane huffs

 Darcy giggles as they all exit the car to check on the man.

“What strange beasts you Midgardians travel in.” he huffs, as he struggles to his feet.

Darcy and Jane immediately help him into a standing position

“I really am sorry, can we get you something to eat?” Jane offers, struggling to find a reason to keep him nearby.

“Aye, my form has been weakened, sustenance would be welcome.” He smirks.

“Alrighty then.” Darcy huffs.


Darcy has conjured a third box of Cherry pop tarts, and hesitantly offers it to him. “So, your name is Thor?” she asks.

He nods, taking the proffered box of pop tarts with gusto, and promptly begins to devour them.

“Um Jane, we may need more than pop tarts, that was the third box. “How are you doing that?” Darcy asks enraptured as he eats two pop tarts in one go.

“The diner?” Jane offers.


Darcy watches as he downs a plate of waffles, and she’s torn between abject horror, and pure delight. “I’d like to formally apologize for Tasering you.” she offers.

“No worries, your small weapon is deceiving in its appearance, tell me, how do you wield lightning with it.” he asks around a mouth full of waffle.

Darcy shrugs. “I got it off eBay.”

Thor nods. “You were a worthy adversary, I hope to be on better terms in the future.”

“Jane, can we keep him?” Darcy pleads, looking to the woman with puppy dog eyes.

Jane rolls her eye at the comment,

Thor only laughs at her antics before returning to his plate.

At the mention of satellites falling from the sky, Thor leaves closely followed by Jane, Erik, and Darcy.

At Erik’s persistence, they don’t follow the man to the crash site and instead head home, only to find their work being carted away into dark vans.

"My work!!" Jane shouts

"My IPod!" Darcy hisses nudging Jane.

Jane races forward, when a machine Darcy recently “fixed” is loaded into the back of a van.

"You can’t just take my life’s work, everything on these Anomalies is either in this lab or in this book" She argues, holding up her black Journal.

"Right" the head thug announces, and a nearby agent snatches the book from Jane’s hand.

Jane gasps before she sees red. "Darcy."

Darcy snaps her finger as a particularly heinous torture comes to mind, and all the agents vanish.

Beside them Erik Gasps, looking around before turning to Jane "what happened where did they go?"

Jane darts forward grabbing her journal from the pile before hugging it to her chest.

"They were going to take everything! They can't do that! This is my life's work!" She chides.

"Jane!?" Erik hisses, still looking gob smacked at the now Agentless room.

" I had Darcy take them..." Jane looks to Darcy questioningly.

"They are currently hanging over a pit of crocodiles." Darcy provides.

"Hanging over a pit of crocodiles" Jane repeats to Erik confidently.

"You have to bring them back! Shield will be looking for them!" he argues.

" I can fix that!" Darcy adds holding up her hand to make it so.

"What are you?!" Erik questions, eyeing the girl he previously called an intern.

"She's my Genie." Jane huffs standing in solidarity beside Darcy.

"A... A genie? Jane that's impossible" Erik says with a frown

"Darcy I wish for a strawberry pop tart” Jane orders.

Erik watches as between the snap of Darcy's fingers and the next second a pop tart appears in Janes hand. He stares wide eyed before shaking out of his stupor.

"You still have to bring them back." he reminds them.

"What?" The two gape.

He gives them stern looks until they both begin to sulk.

"Oh fine! Darcy I-" Jane begins.

"Wait!" Darcy cuts in running to where her iPod is.

“They'll notice it missing!" Erik hisses.

Darcy quickly brings out her original iPod and switches it for her customized home.

"Now." Darcy says triumphantly.

"Oh, just bring them back" Jane grumbles.

And as quickly as they went they returned. The agents hesitate in their movements only slightly before resuming stride.

The head thug in front of them does a quick survey of the room, making Darcy bite back a giggle, before resuming his spiel on why Shield is stealing all of their work.

Chapter Text


Darcy looked around their empty repurposed home, Jane had run off and Erik was out in his trailer making phone calls and she… she was lying in the middle of floor feeling helpless. She could duplicate all of the equipment but… turning her head minutely to the right she eyed the agent sitting on top of the roof two buildings over. They were being watched. Darcy released another sigh before rolling to her feet. Only to pause, as the previously bright sky was darkened by heavy clouds.

Erik walked through just as the rain began to pour down.

He looked back startled as thunder boomed. “I didn’t know it was going to storm.”

“It wasn’t.” Darcy chimed slightly in awe as she eyed the storm.

“Where’s it coming from?”

Darcy smirked. “Thor.”

Erik huffed “Not you too.”

Darcy shrugged. “Why not I mean, I exist, we were considered gods once upon time. You grew up believing in them, didn’t you?”

“Well yes but those were just stories.”

Darcy conjured two cups of tea before sitting down in front of the large glass window. “Stories are just histories passed down through generations.” She offered him the other mug, he chose to stand as they silently watched the storm. A buzzing from his right pocket drew their attention, with a frown at the caller ID he picked up.

“Jane?” he answered.

“Hi Erik, um remember that thing you told me not to do, well I kind of did it…”

Half hearing the conversation Darcy chuckled before snapping her finger. “Kids, so wild and crazy.”

She and Erik reappeared beside a crouched down Jane behind a fence that was just outside of the White tent shield put up.

“Why didn’t you just bring Jane to us?” Erik asked looking around.

“and miss the show?” Darcy said with a frown.

“You can barely see anything.” He argued.

“You’re right, we should definitely get closer.”

Jane and Erik paled “Darcy no!”

Too late she snapped her fingers. When they reappeared, they were still behind the cover of a boulder but had a better visual on the make shift site.

“Oh, this is better.” Jane admitted.

“See.” Darcy pointed to Thor taking down agents left and right. “Oh look!” She nudged Jane “It’s the agent from the roof.” She said pointing to a crane slowly being drawn up, the silhouette of a man with bow its only occupant.

Jane frowned “What roof?”

Darcy held back an eyeroll “Keep up Jane where being watched.”

Jane eyed the night with weary eyes “Now?”

“No at the station. Hit him harder!” Darcy shrieked.

“Darcy Shh!” Jane giggled.

“Don’t worry they can’t hear us.”

A larger man stepped into Thor’s path, and the two immediately charged each other.

“Oh my goodness, this is great. I am so team Thor!” Darcy cheered has Thor body slammed the man.

The three-watched enraptured as he approached the hammer stuck at the center of the site. He grabbed it confidently only to come up short as it didn’t budge an inch.

Thor dropped to his knees and the group watched on sadly as he went with the agents willingly.

Darcy stretched from her crouched position, “Time to go” another snap of her fingers and they were back at the station.

“So, he’s not Thor.” Erik announced.

“No, he’s definitely Thor.” She countered.

 Erik frowned. “But he couldn’t pick up Mljonir.”

Darcy and Jane shared a glance. “True, but it’s him, that storm was basically rolling off of him, he’s just having some trouble.”

Erik turned away to sit down at the kitchen table “Well he’s not our problem anymore.”

Jane’s eyes widened in dismay. “What we can’t just leave him with Shield.”

“And why not?” Erik challenged

“because,” she floundered.

Erik looked at her expectantly.

“She’s right.” Darcy interjected.

Two pairs of eyes swiveled to her.

She shrugged “We can’t leave him, first contact and all that. It’d leave a bad taste in my mouth. I’ll go grab him.”

“You can’t just take him.”  Erik exclaimed.

Darcy raised an eyebrow “And why not!”

“Shield will search for him.”

Darcy smirked. “Not when I’m don’t with them.”

Jane nodded enthusiastically, before noticing Erik’s glare, she quickly shook her head. “No, I’ll go, just conjure up a driver’s license or a passport.”

Darcy let out a groan “What’s that?”

Erik dug through his pocket before pulling out a License. “Here, copy that but change the information. And I’m going.”

Jane eyed him wearily as Darcy studied the driver’s license. With a shrug, she copied it before handing them to Jane for inspection. 

Jane looked it over “Donald Blake? Darcy why!”

“I’m sorry I thought we were going for discreet, give it back I’ll put Thor god of Thunder and fertility.”

Jane frowned before handing both to Erik. “Never mind, this is fine.”

They watched Erik leave before they settled into wait, Darcy conjured Jane another notebook as she began to get twitchy eyeing the plain surface of the wall for a writing surface.

Erik and Thor returned later that night, one smashingly drunk Erik slung over Thor’s shoulder.

“What happened.” Jane gasped.

Thor laughed boisterously “We drank, and talked, and then drank some more.”

Darcy chuckled as Jane showed him to Erik’s RV.  She watched as the two  sat in the lounge chairs around the fire with a small smile.

“They grow up so fast.” Darcy said with a sniffle, before a glint caught her eye. she sent an appraising glance to the roof “mhm.”

Darcy vanished before reappearing on the far side of the agent’s roof.

The agent stiffened.

“Pretty good.” Darcy hummed before sitting down beside him. She ignored the gun aimed at her. Reaching into her satchel, the one she conjured a second ago, she pulled out a sandwich and a thermos. “Here, you’ve had a long night.”

The agent didn’t move.

“Why are you still pointing that at me.”

The agent eyed her suspiciously “How’d you get up here.”

Darcy shrugged “How did you get up here?”

He rolled his eyes.

“Nice bow.” Darcy offered.

He let out a sigh, before pulling out a phone, he tried dialing only to frown. “No service?” he huffed before looking to Darcy.

She smiled brightly back at him. “I don’t think you’re listening thingy is working either.” She sat the sandwich and drink closer to him before pulling out her own.

Darcy took a bite before grunting. “Yours is Italian.”

The man eyed it warily, before he murmured a quiet “What the hell?”

He took a bite, a moment later he let out a moan.

“knew it.” Darcy grinned.

“Names Clint.” He said around a mouthful.


“I know, were your parents Jane Austen fans?”

Darcy laughed at that but didn’t answer. She watched as Jane began to fall asleep. “See ya around Clint.”

“See ya.” He returned only to find her space empty. “What the hell.”

Darcy chuckled as she returned to the house. “Always keep em guessing.”


Darcy whirled, finding Thor behind her. “uhm, what?”

“You are not what you seem” Thor announced striding towards her.

“I am what I am” She shrugged before sitting at the table, she conjured a large meal for the godling with a smile. “Hungry?”

Thor’s eyes widened in surprise “A djinn.”

Darcy made a face. “Not one from the Norse delegation, but yeah.”

“Who is your Master.”

Darcy frowned “Nice try big guy, are you hungry, or not?”

Thor chuckled before sitting down across from her. “Is this?”

“Bilgesnipe? Yeah.”

Thor grinned before digging in.

“I didn’t think you’d survive much longer on pop tarts. How are you feeling?”

Thor paused in his movements, he seemed to search her face. “My brother, Loki, visited me.” he said slowly

“When?” Darcy prodded when it seemed he wouldn’t continue.

“Whilst I was imprisoned at Shield. He says my father is dead.” Solemnly he took a drink from his goblet.

Darcy frowned. “I thought you were immortal?”

“My people have longer lifespans than earth mortals it’s true, but I believe we still die.”

Darcy’s frown deepened at that, something not quite right with the situation. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Thor nodded. “He died with my sentence still intact, and my brother is now ruler in his stead.”

Darcy hummed thoughtfully “Can’t he reverse it?”

“My mother forbade it.”

Darcy looked at him skeptically “All this coming from your brother?”

“Loki maybe known as a liesmith, but I don’t believe he would fool me in this.”

Darcy shrugged. “Then you’ll have to do it the hard way.”

He took a large bite of bilgesnipe meat “Do what?”

She looked at him as if it were obvious “Get your powers back and return to Asgard.”

Thor shook his head “I cannot.”

“of course you can, didn’t you see mew mew?”

“Mljonir.” Thor corrected.

Darcy smiled “Yeah!”

Thor continued to look confused.

Darcy smiled before Standing in her chair dramatically “Whosoever holds this hammer, should he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor!”

Thor smiled sadly “but I am not worthy.”

“You’re Thor, it’s already your power, you just have to become worthy again.” Darcy explained climbing down from her perch. “loop holes and all that.”

He arched an eyebrow in interest. “How do I become worthy again.”

“Hercules had to save a village while he was mortal, and then he rescued his true love from the river of styx.”

“I do not remember the tale in that manner.”

“Disney doesn’t get everything right.” She said with a shrug. “But you know selfless acts, putting others before yourself. Piece of cake.”

Thor nodded. “I do not think it will be as easy as you say.”

“Probably not, you might even die.” She added offhandedly.

Thor dropped his head to the table.

“Don’t be put out, that’s usually when the good stuff starts.”

Thor looked up incredulously.  

“Eat. Sleep. Don’t think about it too much, we’ll figure something out.”

“Thank you for your strange advice, you are a strange djin. But a kind one.”

“Depends on the mood.” Darcy returned with a shrug.


Darcy stepped into the kitchen and smiled at what she saw. Thor and Jane stood beside each other as she showed him how to work their stove. Erik joined the group not long after, surly from his Hangover.

Darcy slid him a bottle of aspirin without a word.

He only groaned in response before pouring two into his hand.

Though there morning started out normal it quickly spiraled as Darcy noticed the four warriors standing outside of their door.

Glass shattered beside her as Jane dropped the coffee pot.

“Somebody want to get that?” Darcy called magically fixing the coffee pot so that it was once again full.

“My friends!” Thor cheered.

The group entered the room excitedly “Thor I knew we’d find you.”

Thor admonished, small pucker forming between his brow.“But why did you come?”

“We’ve come to bring you home.” The larger one answered.

“I cannot, with father dead I am to live out my life on Midgard.

The only woman of the group stepped forward “Thor? You’re father lives.”

Darcy nudged him with a smirk. “I told you something was fishy.”

She let them continue their talk as something in the distance drew her gaze. She eyed the coffee pot in her hands before taking a gulp, how she lived without coffee for so long, she didn’t know. “Are you expecting anyone else?” She asked as a vortex of light touched down in the distance.

The group rushed outside, Darcy brought up the rear coffee pot in hand. As the first explosion started she turned to Jane. “Should I drive?” Jane held out the keys without a word. “To the party!”


“Worst party ever.” Darcy huffed as she helped all the town folk flee the town.

“Can’t you help them” Jane questioned as they ran for cover.

“Do you want to be a superhero? Because your wish is my command, and all that jazz.”

Jane seemed to mull it over as two of the warriors crashed into the building beside them.

“What if I just wish for like a big wave or something.”

Darcy shrugged. “Worth a shot. Hang on!” She yelled.

She held her arms wide as she conjured a beach’s worth of water. “Here goes nothing.” She held the wave at its precipice and with a shuddering breath she let it crash in front of them. Jane stared in awe as the water flooded down the street.

“Jane, Why?!” Erik called from behind them.

“Just being helpful.” She murmured.

The warriors seemed to be safe where they crash landed, all looking confused at the out of place wave in the dry desert.

The robot tumbled farther down the street with the onslaught before gripping on to a nearby telephone post.

“At least the fires are out.” Darcy called before evaporating the water.

Jane only nodded still looking slightly gob smacked.

“Brother!” Thor called stepping into the street.

Jane gasped “What’s he doing?”

“Actions of heroism and all that.” Darcy offered.

Jane only looked at her in confusion.

“Hero stuff.” She explained.

Darcy stared on in horrid fascination as the robot backhanded Thor, sending the godling flying into the hard ground. “That’ll do it.” she murmured.

She wasn’t fast enough to stop Jane from running forward.


“Jane No!” Erik called after her.

Darcy searched the sky expectantly. “come on, come on…” She murmured.

“What?” Erik questioned, following her gaze skyward.

Darcy continued her search hopefully “Any second now.” And then she saw it; a blur of a figure zooming straight for Thor like a homing beacon. “There!” she cheered, pointing excitedly.

Erik’s eyes widened as he looked over. “Jane!” he called again, this time running toward her, he pulled her back just as the Hammer landed into Thor’s outstretched hand.

The street lit up brilliantly as Thor’s power returned to him.

As Thor handled the metal robot Darcy took note of the black jeeps parking nearby. Agents coming out to deal with the aftermath she assumed.

Thor coming closer drew  her attention, a soft smile taking over as he came to a stop in front of Jane.

“So this is what you usually look like?” she began eyeing the red cap. “It’s a good look.”

Thor smiled.

“I told you dying would do the trick.”

Thor frowned, before chuckling “That was not ideal.”

“Meh your fine. Tis but a scratch!”

“Donald, I don’t think you were completely honest with me.” An agent said from behind them.

The group turned and Darcy had to bite back a giggle as Jane pinched her in the side.

“Ow I get it. I’ll do better next time.”

Thor ignores them in favor of Facing the agent in dark sunglasses. “Know this Son of Coul, from this day forward you can count me as your ally, If, you return the item’s you’ve taken from Jane.”

“Stolen!” Jane interjected with a pointed look.

“Borrowed.” Coulson defended. “Of course, you can have back your equipment, how else will you continue your research.”

Thor nodded before turning to his comrades. “We must return to the bifrost, I’d like to have a word with my brother.” He announced before pulling Jane to his side, together they flew off leaving a cloud of dust behind.

Darcy coughed, “I’m assuming none of you can fly.”

The four warriors shrugged. “We cannot.” Lady Sif denied.

“To the pingauzer!” she cried, before skipping away.

The warriors strode after her, Erik only rolled his eyes fondly, before following the intern to the off-road vehicle parked away from the destruction.

Darcy rolled to a stop and the Asgardians and Erik piled out. She eyed the sky with trepidation before pulling on a pair of sunglasses. “Fool me twice.” She hummed remembering the bright flair of the Birfrost.

After some difficulty of unknown origin, Thor and his friends disappeared into the sky.

“Well that was…” Erik began.

“Amazing, I ... I can’t believe that just happened. The Einstein Rosen bridge, other worlds? It’s all real!” Jane babbled excitedly.

“I was going to say eventful, but sure.”

“So… do we just wait here... or” Darcy questioned, looking around the barren desert.

“He said he’d come back. We can at least wait.”

Darcy nodded, “I’m gonna wait in the Pingauzer, where there’s AC.”

Erik hesitated a moment before walking after her.

“Okay, it’s hot.” Jane admitted before following them.

As it became late, Darcy glanced at Jane who was still looking hopefully to the sky. With a sigh, she conjured them something to eat, it was going to be a long night.

Erik looked solemnly to Jane as the sun began to peek over the horizon.


“We can go.”

Darcy drove off without another word, unsure of the words that would console her friend.

It was on the second day of Jane’s sulking that Darcy was going to intervene, turns out she didn’t need to. When she came down in the morning Jane was already at the white board writing formulas.

“Oh, good your awake! I need you to fix the absorption spectrometer I think those thugs messed up something.”

Darcy smiled “Your wish, is my command.”