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meat cute

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Stiles sees it when he’s grocery shopping, the display hardly touched, people opting for the cheaper, non-heart shaped packages of steak. He gets it, he really does, after all, what’s the point of buying specially packaged meats for your significant other if you’re just gonna take the thing out of the box and cook it, anyways? 

But if you had a werewolf sweetheart, this would be awesome, right?

Stiles snaps a photo and sends it to Kira, asking if she’s got a present for Scott yet. She texts him back a second later with, aw thanks i already got him a present when i went xmas shopping tho

And then: u should give it to ur werewolf ;)

Stiles stares at his phone, because he doesn’t have a werewolf. Well, technically he has a crush on a werewolf, but that doesn’t really count. 

He buys the steak anyways. 

Stiles ends up in the card aisle, whistling, and he grabs a package of Batman cards, the cheap cardboard kind intended for kids to give to all their friends, and drives back home, putting away the groceries and shaking his head at the opened package of bacon in the fridge. He tosses it out and replaces it with the heart-healthy turkey kind, intending to have a talk with his dad later about his eating habits when he was at college. It’s been a long while since Stiles has moved back to Beacon Hills, but he thinks his dad got way used to his freedom.

Stiles grabs the meat package, grabs a handful of daisies growing in the front lawn as an afterthought, and drives all the way over to Derek’s loft. He spends a good twenty minutes in the parking lot with a Sharpie from his glovebox, writing messages on all of the Valentines like YOUR HAIR LOOKS REALLY FLUFFY and SOMETIMES I WANT TO PET YOUR EYEBROWS and I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT COLOR YOUR EYES ARE ITS LIKE MAGIC and there are more lewd ones that Stiles ends up crumpling and tossing into the backseat, but he’s actually quite proud of YOU CAN BITE ME ANYDAY ;) and HOWLIN’ FOR YOU. 

Stiles knocks on the door and puts on a hopeful smile, and when Derek answers it he thrusts out the daisies and then the heart-shaped steak package into his hands, and then throws all the Valentine’s Day cards at him. 

“What.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Stiles says, grinning, and making jazz hands. Why jazz hands, he doesn’t know, and now he’s feeling stupid already, but he might as well just go for broke. “A gift from me to you. From the heart, of course.” He’s pretty sure if he goes for ridiculously cheesy it will make the rejection easier.

Derek picks up one of the cards that’s sitting on the steak, reads it, and then looks at the heart-shaped steak. It’s kind of oozing blood, a little bit. Romantic, right? 

“You gave me red meat and letters of intent,” Derek says finally. “I accept your courtship.” And he sets down the meat and the cards and the flowers on a nearby end table, and grabs Stiles by the waist, pulling him close and cupping the back of his neck.

Stiles is a little startled with the romance-novel-cover pose, and Derek is— fluttering his eyelashes at him? “Come into my chamber, where we should consummate the bond now. I should have known your extensive research into werewolf lore would have brought up courtship rituals, but I never expected you to use them to express your true feelings for me." 

Wow, Derek’s eyes are pretty magical up close. This is not going in the direction Stiles had expected at all, but he can feel Derek’s hand on his lower back, and the warmth of his body heat, and damn he is totally down with where this is going. 

"Yeah, okay, we can do that,” Stiles says, nodding excitedly and trying not to look so eager at the same time.

Derek’s eyebrows knit together. “You understand we’re werewolf married now.”

“Can we have a regular wedding too, I mean, my dad will probably want to be there. And Scott as my best man, of course,” Stiles says, mind whirling. 

Derek lets go of him and steps away, giving him a strange look. “You’re serious,” he says, stunned. “You’re really okay with this.”

“A little confused how you went from courtship to werewolf married, but yeah, I am,” Stiles says. He blinks and takes in Derek’s deadpan face and replays the last few minutes in his head. “Oh. You were joking. There’s no such thing as werewolf courtship rituals, are there.”

“You joked first,” Derek says, pointing at Stiles’ gifts. He picks up one of the discarded cards— whoops, that shouldn’t have been in the pile— where Stiles has drawn a huge dick on Batman and scrawled YOUR NAME SHOULD BE EREK AFTER YOU GIVE ME THE D. 

Stiles laughs nervously, grabbing the card and crumpling it up. “Eh, that was one of the rejects. I um, really wasn’t? I mean, I like you a lot and I saw the steak and thought it would be funny. Like, you’re a werewolf, it’s a heart, I wanna give you mine, kinda deal.” He starts backtracking towards the door. “I mean you could have rejected me like a normal person, instead of getting my hopes up with the bonding sex and eventual marriage thing." 

"I thought you were making fun of me. You always are making fun of me.”

“Yeah, out of affection,” Stiles says, rolling his eyes. “Look, just forget it, I’m gonna go home and eat my weight in chocolate—" 

He’s walking to the door when Derek grabs him by the hand and spins him back into the same pose earlier, except this time there’s no fluttering eyelashes, just Derek looking at him intently. "There aren’t courtship rituals, but if there were, I’d be flattered, and uh, want to do the thing. But. Please stay? Be my— be my Valentine?" 

"Will there be sex?” Stiles asks.

“There could be sex." 

"Good,” Stiles says. “You can say you want to throw me over your shoulder and consummate the bond again, that was pretty hot.”

Derek just laughs and bends down for a kiss.