Back together. Willow could barely believe it. It felt like she was walking on air, a higher high than any spell she had ever done. Just to watch Tara’s eyes light up when she looked over at her, to hear her laugh. To kiss her lips, to feel their bodies next to each other. They were like magnets that had been pried apart but could never truly resist the urge to bond back together.
“I want to feel it,” Willow whispered. Tara looked at her, gentle eyes wide and questioning.
“What?” she asked. “Tell me what you need.”
“I want to feel everything. I want to… I want to feel everything with you.”
She didn’t care about the magic anymore – well, okay that was a lie. Of course she cared, of course some part of her needed it, wanted it, lusted after it, but lust wasn’t the same thing as love and Tara was love. Everything Tara was could knock out everything that addiction had been, every stupid mistake she had made that had almost lost her friends and had nearly gotten Dawn hurt.
Why had she been so stupid when she had Tara here? A rush that was like no other.
Tara’s lips pressed against Willow, gentle and good. She was always good… Willow couldn’t imagine Tara acting mean or selfish, like she had done. She had been so determined to leave the old Willow behind, that scared little girl who had been picked on and laughed at in high school, that she hadn’t realized… maybe Tara would have loved her too. Her heart was certainly big enough to…
“I want my brain to shut up,” Willow continued softly. Tara made her feel good. Tara made her feel whole and… safe… how long had it been since she had really felt safe…
“Lie down,” Tara instructed, pulling her to lay her head on her lap. She stroked Willow’s hair. “Nothing to worry about, baby. I’m here, Willow. Always here.”
“Don’t ever leave me again. I’m sorry I was bad.”
“No, Willow. You were never bad.” She stroked her hair again. Willow felt like Tara had her in a cocoon of warmth, like nothing evil could ever touch her, even though it already had, so many times. It was like being a child again, but just the same it was like having been sleeping and suddenly being awake because she knew Tara was all she would ever need.
But, she wondered, how did she make Tara feel in turn? Did the other woman look at her as some kind of burden or… or had Willow somehow managed to do the same thing to her?
She opened her mouth to ask those questions but the words were cut off by a gasp; Tara’s hand had moved considerably lower and Willow’s thoughts were beginning to fade away, to blur and white out. She wanted to hold on to them though, wanted to analyze this thing, this feeling that couldn’t be diluted or studied. It was too rare, too magical to even exist.
“Safe, Willow. You’re safe with me,” Tara whispered.
She’d have to shut it off. Shut everything off and just drift. Let Tara wrap her in those feelings and set her up safely in a dream.
She’d had so many years of fighting evil, but this was the challenge she wanted to meet more than anything in the whole, wide world. She let her eyes drift shut… she would. She would.