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Jack/Daniel Humor Drabbles & Micro Fiction

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Jack cups the bill of his cap with both hands, dragging it over his eyes. Diplomacy bites.

"Daniel," he snaps. "What the hell are you trying to say?"

"Ah." Daniel adjusts his glasses, in that stalling-for-time way of his. "The, ah, culture is demonstrative."

"Demonstrative?" Jack uses an eyebrow to punctuate.

"Yes, well, um." Daniel licks his lips excessively. "They support partnerships."

"That's what we want with them, a partnership."

"Not that kind of . . . partnership," Daniel nearly mumbles.

Jack sighs, just on the adult-side of petulance. "Listen, Daniel, I don't care what we have to do. You and I are going in there and establishing a foundation. Then, SG-9 can come back and do the whole long-drawn out diplomacy thing. We just need to get in the door. Can we do that?"

Daniel bites his lip, eyes sliding back and forth. "Yes."

"Good. You just do whatever cultural whooziwhatis needs to be done. I'll follow your lead."

"Jack, I really think you—"

"Ah, ah, ah!" A finger in the air silences Daniel and Jack turns and strides out of the hut before Daniel can utter another word. All they have to do is get the ball rolling, then they can 'gate home, eat food that doesn’t smell like roasted hair, and sleep on beds not made from rucksacks.

"Ah, O'Neill," Kussen rumbles. Jack nearly loses his hand in the hearty handshake. "I take it Daniel has explained our practices."

Jack casts a glance over his shoulder at Daniel just coming in through the heavy flap. "Enough of it," Jack honestly answers.

Kussen nods. "In that case, we should begin." Kussen sits at the table, gesturing for Jack and Daniel to sit as well. "I understand, O'Neill, that you and Daniel already have a partnership."

Jack catches Daniel's nod out of the corner of his eye. "We do."

"And Daniel said you'd be willing to demonstrate this partnership." There's an eagerness to Kussen that creeps up Jack's spine.

"Uh." Jack is suddenly dog-paddling in the middle of a tsunami. "Sure." He drums on the table, then gestures to Daniel. "Demonstrate."

Wordlessly Daniel's hands grip the sides of Jack's face, pulling him around. Jack has a second to blink before warm, wet lips press against his own. It's all too familiar, but the surprise, the on-dutiness of it, keeps Jack's eyes open, his lips tight.

Until there's a swipe of tongue Jack has never been able to ignore.

He feels his lips go soft, giving in to Daniel, mouth parting, tongue welcoming Daniel's tongue with a gentle brush. Maybe diplomacy isn't so bad.

His eyes slide closed and the world centers only on Daniel's supple lips.

Daniel pulls away gently, accidentally licking Jack's lips as he wets his own.

"Wonderful," Kussen gasps reverently. "If your world forges partnerships this beautiful, we will be happy to call you friends."

"Thank you." Daniel bows his head slightly, his hand resting on Jack's thigh.

"Let us commence!" Kussen claps his hands and there's a bustle as documents are brought out along with a pitcher and cups balanced on a tray, enough clatter to cover a sotto voce.

"Warn me next time?"

"I tried to. You wouldn't listen." Daniel keeps a smile plastered on his face, speaking from the side of his mouth.

"Oh?" Jack runs the previous conversation through his head; clearly Daniel could have mentioned that they would have to make out.

Daniel turns, lips pursed. "Yes," he hisses. Fingernails briefly cut into his BDUs.

Jack rolls his eyes, finally deciding that it isn't worth it. "Just tell me one thing: are we going to have to do anything else? Because I'm short on lube and condoms, but I'm thinking this could still be the best mission ever."

The catty slap on his thigh is enough of an answer.