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Jack/Daniel Humor Drabbles & Micro Fiction

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The colored lights on the stage bathe Sam in reds and pinks, her hair glowing like the Abydonian sun at sunrise. She bends her knees, really belting into the chorus of a song Daniel had no idea that she knew. “Pour some sugar on me! Ooh, in the name of love!

Jack chuckles warmly, his hand accidentally brushing up against Daniel’s when he reaches for his beer. “No idea we would actually get her up there.”

“No idea she could actually sing,” Daniel amends.

“I would not call that singing.” Teal’c smiles tightly: it’s a joke.

“She’s not bad.” Daniel has to defend her in hopes that she’ll defend him once Jack has plied him with enough liquid courage. “Plus, her choice was at least . . . unexpected.” Daniel punctuates his statement with a mouth of beer.

I’m hot, sticky sweet from my head to my feet.

Jack closes one eye, turning away. “I could do without the gyrations.”

“Indeed.”

Daniel smiles a bit sloppily. “I don’t know, Jack. I think you like gyrations.” He may have just flirted with Jack a little bit. “I mean, you know, like guys do. They like it. The gyrating.” There, cover all potential flirting with rambling. Rambling is discreet.

“Yeah, just not from Carter, thanks.” Jack takes another drink from his beer, still annoyingly in control. He has to be drinking light beer or something, giving Daniel and Sam all of the heavy stuff just so he can watch the two of them make idiots of themselves. Maybe it’s something to do with being jealous of their normal intellect and just trying to take them down a few evolutionary steps so that he can finally be on even footing with the brainiacs.

Jack squints at Daniel, leaning over the table. “Even footing?”

The back of Daniel’s mouth gets drafty as his jaw goes slack. “Did I just say all of that?”

Jack smiles. “And I think you’re drunk enough to go up as soon as Carter’s finished.”

Daniel rolls his eyes. “Never. And on the day after never, still never.”

Jack shakes his head. “No way, I want to watch you getting down and dirty like Carter.”

Daniel licks his lips, blushing slightly at Jack’s lack of discretion.

You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little, tease a little more. Easy operator come a knockin' on my door

Daniel grins, leaning over the table toward Jack, wondering just how much they’re forgetting about discretion for the evening. “You want to come a knockin’ on my door?”

Jack’s knee bumps against Daniel’s thigh, the contact brief enough to be accidental. “I already did that to get you out here tonight.”

Teal’c’s eyebrows pop up at that.

Daniel whispers as quietly as he can and still be heard, “That’s not even subtle.”

“You don’t get subtle.” Jack’s knee bumps against Daniel’s thigh again, this time the contact lingers, presses, rubs in a way that makes Daniel’s head swim.

“You want to watch me gyrate?” Daniel squeaks. Except Daniel doesn’t ever squeak. He certainly doesn’t squeak when being hit on by Jack O’Neill . . . with Teal’c watching . . . and Sam gyrating on stage. . . .

“Am I actually already passed out on the floor? I think I’m passed out on the floor.”

Jack’s hand is warm on Daniel’s forehead as he pushes back Daniel’s hair, his thumb flicking over Daniel’s cheek.

“I think Teal’c’s up next, anyway,” Jack says, his eyes tight on Daniel’s face.

Daniel attempts to make words come out of his mouth, but only manages a few sounds of disbelief.

“Are you all right, Daniel Jackson?”

Daniel turns from Jack’s hand to Teal’c. Teal’c who is very large when he’s standing, looking like he might be trying to stop Daniel from toppling over, though Daniel doesn’t think he’s about to fall.

“Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should go. Sing a song with Sam. I bet she’d like to sing another one.”

“Yeah, T. That sounds like a great idea.” Jack leans back in his chair, taking another long drink.

“And you’re sure that you’re all right?” Teal’c leans over Daniel, a monolith with backlighting.

“I’ll take him home if he gets any greener,” Jack promises. “And I’ll stop freaking him out.” He turns to Daniel, shrugging, his palms up in supplication. “It’s just so easy.”

“Very well.” Teal’c bows and steps away, not looking back.

Daniel puts his head on the table, watching as Sam sings the last chorus, puffing up her short hair. “Are you sure I’m not passed out on the floor?”

“Positive.” Jack sets his empty glass firmly on the tabletop. “Let’s get out of here.”

Daniel closes his eyes. “Wasn’t this supposed to be a team night?”

“We’ve been out for a couple hours. You and Carter are drunk as hell. And I’m about to start hitting on you with lines from that song. I think team night is over.”

Warm hands pull Daniel’s shoulders until he’s upright and staring into Jack’s face again. “What happened to discretion?”

Jack waves him off. “Teal’c thinks it was a gag.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t?”

Jack hands Daniel his jacket, fingers lightly brushing. “No gag about the gyrating.”

“And you’re sure I’m not passed out on the floor?”

Jack holds the door open as they leave, allowing Daniel to exit first. “Yes. But I swear to God, if you pass out before the gyrating, next time you’re getting up there and singing N’Sync. I know Carter has one of their CDs.”

“You’re evil, you know.”

Jack grins. “That’s just because you haven’t sugared me sweet yet.” Daniel’s responding groan is only half-hearted.