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Jack/Daniel Humor Drabbles & Micro Fiction

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The unmistakable sound of falling books stopped Jack just outside Daniel’s office. He waited for the muttering that was sure to follow the disaster, but heard nothing. A few moments later and there was a rolling sound—like a chair on wheels had been pushed—and then said chair rolled out of the open door and crashed into the wall just in front of Jack.

“What the hell?” Jack pushed the chair out of his way and peered into the office.

Daniel had his knees slightly bent, legs apart, crouched in a traditional, movie-version of a kung-fu fighter. His hands were up at chest height, each held rigid, like he was ready to start breaking boards. He had a bandana tied around his head, the ends of which were long and flicked out when he suddenly turned his head to the right, away from Jack.

Daniel lunged and gave a forceful “karate chop” followed by a flimsy kick. He muttered “hai-ya!” before attacking the side of his desk. He swung his left arm blindly and knocked over another stack of books.

Jack crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door. He shook his head.

Daniel turned his head toward the door and then did a full double-take.

“Jack?” he squeaked. He turned slowly, like a little kid caught short-sheeting his brother’s bed.

“Daniel?” Jack cocked an eyebrow in a fairly decent Teal’c impersonation.

“Jack.” Daniel had the good sense to blush a deep shade of red. He pushed his glasses back into place.

“Daniel.” Jack stood straight and walked into the room, carefully side-stepping the books—Daniel’s casualties.

“Um.” Daniel hugged himself. “Did you want something?” Daniel pursed his lips and licked them—an attempt at confidence and normalcy.

Jack stepped closer and then noticed what was tucked under Daniel’s bandana—the cord trailing down the front of his shirt, ending in his pants’ pocket. Jack reached out and pulled one of the ear pieces from Daniel’s ear.

Everybody was kung-fu fighting… Their moves were fast as lightning…

Daniel resumed his deep blushing. “I—I was just listening to—”

“Uh-huh.” Jack put the ear piece back. “You just keep doing what you were doing.” Jack patted Daniel’s cheek and then headed out of the room to grab the chair. When he wheeled it back in Daniel was picking up the strewn books.

“What are you doing?”

Daniel threw his arms out, gesturing to the mess. “Cleaning up.”

“I said to keep doing what you were doing.”

Daniel stacked a few of the books. “Look, you caught me. I'm embarrassed enough.” Daniel pointed at Jack with a book. “Like you never do anything stupid.”

Jack laughed. “Yeah.” He pushed the chair over to the desk. “But Daniel—really—please continue.” Jack sat down in the chair, put his hands behind his head, and put his feet up on the desk. “And don’t mind me, okay?”

Daniel threw the book at Jack. “I’m never listening to music here ever again.”

Jack caught the book and laid it down on the desk. “Hey, Daniel?” Jack put on his serious face and prepared for an impression—“I know kung-fu.”

“Jack!”