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Just my luck

Chapter Text

Love is a weird thing. Sometimes you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and sometimes you find a better friendship with that person that ruins everything. That was the story of Felix 'lux' Culwell and Dominick 'sonny' Carisi jr.

They were born a month apart and lived next door to each other all their lives. Their parents were close friends and never even thought twice about how close the two were. They started dating at 13, with his sister's disapproval because they weren't allowed till 18. His parents said it was different, she was a honorary carisi at this point.

Their bedroom windows were across from each other, they walked to school together, they had the same groups of friends, and they always studied together. So it wasn't a surprise when they started dating, though niether one could place where they started to fall in love. Was it the nights they skipped studying and just watched TV. Maybe when he asked her out for the first and she quickly said yes. Possibly at the bar-b-q his parents had where they fell into the pool with clothes on. Could it had been the first kiss where he snuck up the side of the her house and kissed her goodnight through her window. Honestly, niether knew when it happened but they both knew it did.

They thought they would get married, he would be a cop and she'd be a chef. They would have kids and live in New York happily ever after. But fate wouldn't let it be that way. He got into college and she received a job offer in LA that would pay her schooling. They fought and ended up breaking it off. But things couldn't be that easy, no, she found out she was pregnant a month after the move. Needless to say, sonny was surprised but they couldn't continue the way they were... So they stayed apart. He would fly out once in a while, she would take them to New York once in a while, and on holidays they always tried to be in New York.

Sonny wrote, called, and video chatted all the time around work and school. Sonny never talked about it to anyone but his family and her, because after everything... They were still best friends. So when she told him she got a job offer in New York she couldn't pass on, he left work early to be at the airport waiting on them. He helped her move everything into her gorgeous apartment and found time around his crazy work schedule to spend time with them.

In fact it was going so well, he was thinking of spilling the beans. After a month of having his son close, sonny wants to show him off some. So he came over on his lunch to talk.

"Hey lux, can we talk a moment?"

"Sure sonny, Ezio a moment please?"

"Sure mom," the boy hopped down and ran to his room.

"Thanks," sonny smiled as he sat down across from her at the table, "I want to discuss maybe... Possibly making arrangements to keep Ezio a night a week or some father son time?"

"That's sounds great sonny. Maybe on weekends since school has started up unless you want to work that into the schedule too."

"Let's start with the weekend, especially since I have a crazy work schedule." He smiled, "thanks lux."

"No prob sonny, when we moved i was hoping you would want to get closer to him." She sighed, "he needs a dad."

Sonny hugged her, "could you possibly stop by the precinct with ez this weekend and do a quick lunch maybe? I mean if it's to much trouble I can just wait till after and pick him up for the night."

"That'll be fine sonny. I think ez will love that."

"Good," he caught the time on her wall clock, "I need to be going. I'm on a case right now that is just stealing all my time."

"Go tell your son bye, later sonny."

"Later lux."

He hugged her before running back to ezio's room and saying bye, then out the door to work.


 Felix


 

Felix dropped Ezio at a friend's house for the night, before running to work. She picked up a bartender shift for the owner, she felt like she owed him it anyways.

The restaurant owner, Jason, had offered her the job in LA. He also paid for all her Schooling and helped her with daycare for Ezio. So when he decided to move to New York and open a second restaurant, Felix was given a top spot. She was the lead sous chef, she basically ran lunch service and helped cover on nights on occasion. She didn't work weekends, never past 5pm unless she was given noticed ahead of time, and was given a salary that was more then enough to live on. 

So yesterday when a bartender said he couldn't make his shift tonight, Jason asked and she took it. It was a simple job that didn't need a lot of thought and she didn't have to guide a team. She just made drinks and suggested food. So she came in and put on the uniform... a black and white dress that looked like a suit, a red bowtie, and she pulled her hair back in a clean pony tail. She tossed a rag over her shoulder and took her station, ready for this simple 4 hour shift.

At about 8 o'clock, Felix wiped the bar and smiled as a man approached and took a seat. He looked early 40's, nice tailored suit, tanned skin... Cuban possibly?, and a briefcase he sat on the counter before moving it beside his feet. A folder slipped out and he didn't catch it, she peeked at it when she got closer... Court case. He's a lawyer.

"Hey darlin, what can I get you?" She gave her best smile.

"I'll take a scotch and a menu." He smiled back.

"Sure thing," her hand pouring a glass as the other grabbed the menu to sit Infront of him, "I suggest the seared scallops, goes great with scotch."

"And if I don't want sea food?"

"You look like a steak man, the filet Mignon melts in your mouth and I'd skip the wine sauce with the scotch... Weird flavor mix."

He chuckled, "I'll take the scallops."

She took the menu back and put the order in before walking back towards him, he was the only customer in her section.

"Excuse me?" He motioned over and she came right over and nodded, "what's your name?"

"Felix."

"Isn't that usually a boy's name," he smiled.

"It is, most people called me fe or lux though."

"Lux?"

"Long story, maybe I can tell it later." She flirted back.

"Are you new here? I haven't seen you before." He took a sip.

"I'm usually in the back. Just a fill-in tonight."

"What's the job title? if you don't mind me asking."

"Sous chef. I run the lunch service and occasionally assist in other spots." She refilled his drink, "so are you a defense lawyer or state attorney?"

"What makes you think I'm a lawyer?" He smirked and sat back.

"That suit isn't cheap and it's well tailored. I see the edge of suspenders under your jacket so it needs to be mildly active work. You have a air of arrogance and a sense of sarcasm that could possibly be at my level... But mainly," she tapped the file that fell out of his briefcase before he moved it, "the case file that only a lawyer would carry."

"Clever. I'm a A.D.A. for Manhattan." He leaned forward to put the file away.

"One of the good guys... Well as good as a lawyer can get."

He laughed and she grabbed the plate that was delivered for him, placing it in front of him and watching expectantly as he took a bite. He watched her as he chewed the bite then nodded. He swallowed quickly and smiled.

"Brilliant advice Ms. Felix."

"That's what I'm here for."

The next half hour went quickly as the two chit chatted, basic small talk. By the time he had finished, he left cash and told her to keep the change. She looked down carefully, it was a 30 dollar tip. She picked up the cash and seen a card under it. Her fingers ran over it as she read it out loud for her to hear in her empty section.

"Assistant District Attorney Rafael Barba."

Her lips curled into a smile as she flipped it over.

call any time.

Underneath was a hand written number, she pocketed the card and finished the night on a high. I should call... I deserve a good date.  She walked home with a huge smile, she was gonna call him.

Chapter Text

The next day, felix answered her phone.

"Hello."

"Hey lux, you busy tonight?" Sonny asked.

"Not at the moment, why?"

"Then would you like a night away from Ezio?"

"Do you want to take him for the night.... He has school in the morning."

"I'll take him to school, don't worry. But yeah, I really want to take ez for a night."

She chuckled and gave a playful sigh, "OK.. i gueeeeesssssss. Say 6?"

"Good with me. See you two then."

"Bye sonny."

"Bye lux."

She had barely laid the phone down and picked up her sandwich, when she had a thought. Call him.... Try for a date. She bit her lip, and put the food down. She pressed send.

"Hello?"

"Ola Hermoso." She smiled.

"Felix... I was hoping you'd call."

"Well you did give me your card with your personal number."

"Sarcasm, gotta love it." She could hear his smile, "what can I do for you?"

"Well, I have a free night tonight and kinda wanted plans. Are you open for a drink?" She chewed her lip softly.

"I would love to, but..." Her heart dropped, "... I have a late night of paperwork. What if I text you if I get done early?"

"Sounds good to me," she sighed, "I'll wait for your word."

"I'm sorry I don't want you to thi...."

"Don't worry. I understand works work. Just let me know if you get some time."

 "Talk to you soon Felix."

"As I you Rafael."

She hung up with a smile, and ate her meal happily. Just a few hours later, she picked up Ezio and told him the good news. He was excited and packed a bag the moment he got home, talking a mile a minute about how much fun a sleep over with dad was gonna be. Felix double checked his bag and was about to start supper when carisi knocked. He picked up Ezio and tossed him over his shoulder while picking up his bookbag and overnight bag. He called goodnight and promised he'd call if something happened in the morning and he couldn't get him to school.  

Felix sighed, she didn't get nights off like this. She was always working, or taking care of Ezio... An occasional date but never nothing. It was driving her insane and it's only been 3 minutes since sonny left with ez. She looked at the TV and sighed.

"Looks like its just you, me, that pint of ice cream, and some supernatural."

She grabbed the ice cream she hid behind the peas and a spoon, flopping onto the couch, and finding her show. She was the third episode in when her phone dinged. She frowned and paused it as Dean was about to shoot a pigeon. But she quickly smiled at the text.

Rafael

Is those drinks still on the table?

F sure. Are you free?

R I can finish the rest tomorrow, I need some air.

F Name the place

R There's a little bar off 4th, Lafayette.

F see you in 15.

Felix threw on a nicer top and tugged on a clean pair of jeans. She pulled the hair tie out and did a quick come through before giving it a pass. She grabbed a little leather jacket, putting her keys in one pocket, wallet and phone in the other. She put on a gloss to wet her lips and hailed a cab. Walking in a short time later, she quickly found rafael at the bar.

"Hey cutie."

He turned with a smile, "not to bad yourself."

He stood up, "want to find a table? More privacy you know."

"Sure," she turned to the bartender and ordered her drink before they took a booth in the back.

They started with simple questions like where you from, and moved on to stories about growing up and college. Rafael had just finished with a story about how he found his alcohol tolerance level that made her almost cry with laughter. She explained the 'lux' in her name. It hit this silent moment where they made eye contact and for the second time in her life, it didn't feel uncomfortable. But the thought of it not being uncomfortable with it just like with sonny did.

"So Rafael, do you have kids?"

"No. If you couldn't tell from my eating alone and delaying this date, I don't date much." He sighed, "perks of being a ADA I guess."

She smiled, "I understand."

"Do you?" He nodded, "you know, have kids?"

"Yes I do," she smiled, "one son, Ezio Renato."

"Interesting names are a theme with you." He chuckled.

"Yeah, but this one was a joke between me and my ex. We knew each other our whole lives and our parents joked we should pick baby names now, we were 14. So we named off what our parents would call horrible names, until we both simultaneously said Ezio. Our parents hated it so we joked that would be the first Borns name, boy or girl it would be ez."

"That would make a horrible girl's name." He joked.

"Thankfully it was a boy and we both thought, hey... It doesn't sound bad." She laughed with him, "and Renato was a family name on my side. If I was a boy I would of been named Renato lux culwell."

"But luckily you were a girl, or else this would be awkward." He nodded towards her lower cut blouse and skinny jeans, "a guy would look horrible in that outfit."

The two of them chatted more, Felix showing  a few pictures of ez and talking a few stories as well. Rafael threw in a few stories of his own childhood and before they knew it, it was almost midnight. 

"Wow, it's been almost 5 hours." She sighed, "sadly I should be getting home."

"I'll take you," he piped up.

"Oh no need, I'll get a cab."

"I insist, where would my manors be if I didn't."

She sighed, "I guess, I must accept."

He stood up with her and he stretched his arm out, "my lady."

"My lord." She took his arm.

They had just stepped outside when her phone dinged. Sonny.

sorry lux but I got called to work. Do you want to come pick up ez or let him stay here till I'm done.

she sighed and messaged back turning to Rafael, "my ex just got called into work so I need to pick up my boy. Rain check?" 

"Sure, but please take the Uber on me."

She smiled and kissed his cheek, "thank you rafael."

"Good night Felix." He waved as the car pulled away.


Sonny


sonny and Ezio went back to his place, after a quick stop for take out. The ate and Ezio talked about his day. Afterwards, sonny started playing video games with ez. Time was flying by until he heard his phone ring.

"Carisi."

"We caught a break on the Flores rape. Liv wants you in now." 

"Uh.... I can't. I got Ezio tonight."

"Bring him in, he can wait in the interview room for your ex or until you get sent home."

"OK, on my way."

Sonny walked over and told ez to grab his bags as he texted Felix. She would pick him up from the precinct and take him home. They rushed to the squad room and was greeted by Liv.

"About time carisi." She smiled, "and who are you?"

"Ezio." He smiled and carisi rustled his hair.

"Can you go wait for your mom in the room over their? Plenty of books and toys."

"Sure dad," he walked over and shut the door as carisi went to work.


Just a short time later, Felix walked in and carisi rushed over.

"Hey lux. Ez is over there."

"Thanks sonny, sorry your night got interrupted." She gave a soft smile to make him feel better.

"Maybe next time," he smiled, "I'm just glad I didn't interrupt your evening."

"Actually you did." She blushed, "I had a last minute date."

"Ohhhhhhh," he smiled like the Cheshire cat, "is this with the guy from the bar last night?"

"God I can't tell you anything can I?" She joked and walked towards the room, "yes it was."

"How was it?"

"Short.... I got a call that cut the drinks off." 

He rolled his eyes, "I meant details.... Come on I'm your best friend spill it."

"Maybe later," she opened the door and was tackled by ez, "I want to make sure we're good before I tell you anything... Or more like you slip up and tell mom."

"One time I tell our moms something that you hadn't, once and I'll never forget."

"Never," she smiled, "bye sonny."

She gave him a quick hug before ezio did, calling back 'bye dad' as he ran to the elevator. Sonny sighed and she waved before following ez out.

maybe one day I could actually get my son to sleep over without interruption.... Maybe one day I could even get Felix back. My biggest mistake was letting her go.

 

Chapter Text

Felix was helping Ezio grab all his gear, the boy was to excited to remember the basics. He and his best friend Avery from down the hall were going with sonny to a Islanders game and junk food before sonny dropped them off at Avery's for a sleepover. Ez wasn't a sports person, nor sonny really, but they wanted to spend time together and Avery's dad bailed on them. Sonny gladly took the offer the moment Avery's mom asked. Ez had on a hoodie and was running around with his buddy 'playing' hockey. Felix was just wanting them out.

The clock stroke hit and as if by magic, sonny buzzed the bell. Felix opened the door as two boys tackled sonny.

"Sonny!" They yelled in unison, "are we ready?"

"I am, are you two?"

They nodded and started to run down the hall, he waved to Felix and chased after them as she laughed. The whole chase sonny was thinking. I wonder what lux is doing tonight? Probably a date with her new guy... What this would be the, the 4th date? I need to meet this guy.

Sonny caught up and snatched them up under each arm and carries them to the car. They stopped for a quick meal before the game.


Felix


Felix looked at the clock and smiled, One hour to go from this mess to a hot package... Let's get to work. She showered and styled her hair while wet, curling it in large loose curles. She put on her favorite black backless bra and matching black and red lace cheeky panties. Tugged on the backless black dress with lace sleeves and sweetheart neckline, red embroidery designs to keep your eye. She buttoned the small lace band that held the dress tight to her shoulders. Next came the red kitty heels and hand bag, matching her lipstick. A little make up you could barely tell was there, and quick check in the mirror before she hears the bell.

She ran to the door and opened it with a big smile, "hello handsome."

"Felix... You look gorgeous." A stunned raf hands her a small boquet of flowers.

"Thank you, let me get this in a vase and we can go."

 She quickly got a vase of water and left with rafael for dinner. He told her to dress nicely, and she should've guessed that he was taking her to a nice restraunt. She just didn't expect a place like where they went. Chandeliers, candel lit tables, food that she would never pay half of what they wanted for it, and she honestly felt like cinderella. Raf managed to book a table last minute and didn't disappoint on his choice of food, felix savored every bite, especially dessert. When they left, raf took her back to his place instead of hers. The whole ride there her thoughts drifted to what she was wishing for tonight, sex. Strangely, her first time played in her head as she rested again him in the back of the car.


It was early spring, felix was sitting in sonny's room beside him on the bed studying. The two had a english test tomorrow that sonny was going to flunk. She tried to help but he wasn't getting it. After the third hour, he went down stairs to get some drinks to find the house was empty. His parents were out on a date and his sister have left to hang out with friends, he brought up to waters and smiled as he bounced on the bed.

"So lux, lets change subjects," he pulled her into a kiss as she giggled.

"Sonny, I'm not making out with you when anyone could walk in on us."

"Ok. Well I can fix that, we're home alone." He smiled and pulled her down on his chest.

"Sonny! We need to stud..." her words caught as her hand brushed his jeans as she tried to push away.

He bit back a groan and his face went red, "felix I... uh..."

She kissed him and tossed a leg over him so she straddled his lap, "we're alone right?"

"Y...y...yessss," he stuttered out as he watched her lean back down to kiss him.

"We could... I mean, if you want to?" She stopped a inch from his face and he groaned.

"Are you sure fe? I...have you ever?"

"No.... we'll go slow."

She sat back and took his hands, placing them over her shirt and bra to knead her breast. His breathing slowed, heart raced as she put her hands at about the same spot on his chest.

"Squeeze softly," she sighed as he squeezed and watched her head roll back, "soooonny."

He slid a hand under her shirt, stopping by her belly button. She brouht her head back forward towards him and reached down to pull her shirt off. His eyes were glued to the bra as she slowly reached back to undo it. It sagged down and she let it roll down her arms before dropping it off to the side. She bit her lip and started to cross her arms across her chest, sonny sat up and gently moved her arms to her side.

"Don't be afraid to say no."

She nodded and let him grope her, his mouth slowly coming in contact with her nipple and drawing a surprised gasp from her lips.

"Don't stop."

He nodded softly and sucked on her right nipple like it was a thick milkshake he was trying to force through a straw. Her gasps turned to moans before he went to her other breast to repeat. She started grinding on him and he let go to suck in a breath.

"Shit, sorr...!"

"No don't!" He rolled her over and stood infront of her undoing his jeans. He pushed them and his boxers down as his penis sprung free. Her heart almost stopped, but his missed several beats when she reached forward to touch it. It jerked and he bit his lip, she cautiously wrapped her hand around him. The tip was leaking and he looked down to see her kiss the head, as if she was unsure of what to do. He moaned so deep it sounded like a growl, she pulled back and his hand quickly covered hers.

"I won't last long if you keep that up." He bent down and kissed her again.

"Sonny?"

"Yeah felix?"

"Help me with my jeans?"

He nodded and watched as she undid the button and zipper. His fingers hooked into her waist band and pulled it down slowly revealing her superman underwear. She nodded and slipped her fingers down to push them too. He pulled both off and just stared at her. She was clean, no hair and glistening.... almost dripping from between her lips. He bit his lip and put a leg over his shoulder as he ran a finger through her folds, a gasp escaping.

"Sorry fe..."

"Don't stop sonny." She dragged her hand into his hair, "dear god don't stop."

He slipped the finger back in  and ran it up to a hard nub, she sucked in a breath and pulled his hair. He moved lower and found a hole, she shot straight up. He watched her as he leaned forward and slowly liked upwards between her lips.

"Sonny!" Her hips raised and he repeated.

She pushed his head back and then motioned him up, their waists flush against each other as they both groaned. They made eye contact and took a moment.

"I don't.... have..."

"I'm on the pill."

He nodded,"are you sure?"

"Are you?"

They both looked down and decided to reposition. She laid back on the bed and he moved over her again, she reached down to her lips and spread them open, his hand guiding him in to the hole. He pushed in with a lot of resistance, her mouth dropping and letting out long gasps. He froze half way before her hand covered his.

"Keep going."

He pushed harder and groaned with her gasps, his head finally making it in. He pushed until he was flush against her, their bodies rubbing against each other as she wrapped her arms around him. He pulled back and then pushed in, repeating it agonizingly slow as they both started making soft cries of lust. Her whimpers and gasps blended with his moans and groans. Her hands grasped his back, nails digging into his skin causing him to speed up. Then it all ended, his hips stutterring and she felt fuller then she ever thought possible.  he collapsed on her and she clenched him tighter as her body felt electrified, her mouth screaming his name.

The silence was deafining, as he pulled out and they just laid there. Panting like dogs as they both try to understand what they just did.


Felix was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of a car door.

"Fe, you coming?" Raf's hands extended as she slowly takes it.

"Sorry raf,"

He pulled her out of the car and walked her up to his apartment. The slow walk in was accompanied by laughter and soft kisses. The elevator ride was much more suggesting though, his hand holding her ass above the skirt as he blocked her form in the corner. A kiss causing their bodies to push against each other and create more friction. She tipped her head back as his clothed dick hits her wet panties and his lips attaching to her neck.

"Rafi." She moaned.

"Yes cariño," he purred.

 "I sure hope that isn't a gun in your pocket."

She felt a chuckle against her neck as the elevator stopped, he pulled back and took her hand to walk to his apartment. He unlocked the door and opened the door, she steps in and sighed. It wasn't her huge loft apartment, but it was beautifully decorated. Everything sat in the background to the floor to ceiling windows and the gorgeous view of Manhattan. She felt hands on her hips dragging her into his embrace again.

"I take it you like my place?"

"It's beautiful."

He kissed her neck and drew little patterns on her stomach, "so you wouldn't mind spending the night?"

Her heart skipped a beat as she turned around to face him, "absolutely."

He backed her up against the windows and kissed her like she was his only air source. Hands caressing, squeezing, pulling all over each other as they broke for air. Felix rested her forehead against his, catching her breath before dropping to her knees.

"Fe, what are yo...?" Raf was cut off by Felix nosing his cock through his pants.

"This is my thank you, for everything tonight." Her hands slowly undoing his belt.

"You don't have to do that," he panted.

She pressed her back to the window as she undid his pants, "oh but I want to."

He dropped his head forward to watch as she tugged the pants down, her hand rubbing the massive bulge, "felix I..."

She pulled his briefs down and gasped, he was much bigger then expected. But like instinct, she wrapped a hand him and he groaned. She kissed his head and pulled back with a smile.

"Ever have sex Infront of your windows?"

"No," he hissed as she licked off his pre cum, "always wanted to."

She sucked him in slowly, bobbing and twisting. His head flew back on the first twist, moans sounding from deep in his throat. She swallowed and took in his full legnth, resting her nose to his pubic hair. His hands flew to the glass, holding him up as his leg strained to do the same. She pulled back when he nudged her shoulder.

"Fe, Donde has estado toda mi vida? (Where have you been all my life?)"

She stood up and kissed him as his hand pushed her skirt up, "don't tease me raf, I'm already soaked."

"Then I'll have dessert," he dropped to his knees and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder.

He pulled her underwear off and pushed the other leg over his shoulder. She was flush against the window, his mouth attacking her core. She was in heaven, moans and gasps filling the room as she struggled for air. His tongue hitting all the right spots as his finger slid in. She was grabbing his head and panting as she lost control, soaking his face. He sat her feet down carefully and put his hands on her waist.

"Should we finish right here or move to my bed?"

"Definitely the bed, I barely think I can walk."

He smirked and lifted her up, carrying her back to the bed and slowly reaching back to undo her back clasp on the dress. It fell down off her shoulders and she tossed it to the side, pealing the bra off. He undid his shirt and pulled it off, his body climbing over her on the bed as she threw her arms around him. They went back into a heavy kissing spell as he lined up, simentanously thrust towards each other to seat him full inside her. He froze and sucked in air as she gasped, both adjusting to the new feeling overcoming them. 

"Color?" He locked eyes with her and she smiled.

"Green."

He pulled out and pushed back in as her back arched up for her stomach and chest to touch him. He repeated slowly picking up speed.

"God raf... Right there."

He gave a hard thrust and she screamed for more. He was mesmerized by her. He pushed all the way in and rolled over so she was on top. He brought his legs up and started the same pace as she leaned forward. Her hands holding his chest.

"Rafael oh god... More! More!"

He groaned as he picked up the pace and was sending her forward towards him before dragging her back, her chest swing with the pace. Her hair surrounding there heads as they panted in each other's faces. She broke, squeezing him tight as she came on his dick. He followed her over, emptying himself in her. She rolled off and raf caught his breath before grabbing a few towels. He wiped up and came back to the bed, wiping Felix up softly.

"That was amazing."

"Best I've had in a long time," he kissed her thigh as she whimpered.

"Shit!" She looked at him, "we forgot the condom."

He chuckled, "sorry, everything was happening so quickly."

"Don't worry about it, we'll remember next time." She tugged his face to hers.

"Next time? So I was good enough to be kept in your black book."

"Your good enough to be called my boyfriend," she bit her lip as he froze for a second.

Her heart was racing, say something...Shit I'm moving to fast. I fucked this up alr...

"you'll make the perfect girlfriend."

He kissed her and rolled her to his chest as they dozed.


Sonny


The game was over and sonny had just dropped the kids off. Ez had hugged him so tight and actually said I love you to him. Sonny didn't hear that often since they were so far apart, Avery even said he wished sonny was his dad. Sonny was walking on air, so happy that he wanted to share it. He stopped at Felix's door and knocked, no answer. He frowned and kept walking after a minute, texting her the good news. 

He went home, still no reply after 30minutes. He frowned, his thoughts slipping away as he changed for bed. Felix isn't back from her date yet? No she probably went to his place and are... No stop it. She isn't your girlfriend sonny, she is a grown women that can do whatever she wants. If she wants to fuck some dude, you can't stop her. If she doesn't text you back she is just busy... With him. Sonny checked the phone one last time before he threw it at his bed. Go to sleep... Just go to sleep. He laid down in bed and struggled to sleep.


Felix


Felix woke in the morning, still curled up to Rafael. She slowly stretched as he pulled her on to his chest, kissing the top of her head.

"Buenos días preciosa (good morning gorgeous)."

"Mornin raf."

"Sadly, I have work. I need to get ready but I'll gladly drop you off on the way."

"Sounds lovely, but you have to let go of my waist so you can get ready."

"Unless you join me?"

She chuckled and kissed his chest, "get the shower ready and I'll gladly join you."

She sat up to the side as raf got up and went to the restroom to start the shower. She checked her phone, 2 texts from sonny and one letting her know ez was dropped off at school OK.

Sonny

Ezio just said he loved me. Avery said he wished I was his dad. Tonight was great!

I know your still out, sorry but I had to tell someone. My night was great... Hope yours was too.

She smiled and shot a quick test back before running to the shower to join raf.


Sonny


sonny woke up feeling only a little rested. He noticed his phone was lit up and he smiled as he read her reply.

Felix

that's great! Wanna talk about it over lunch today? Say the dinner by the precinct.

Sonny texted back to confirm, smiling as he got ready for work. Maybe I do have a chance... I'll just have to show lux that I'm better then the rest of the guys she dates. Sonny wasn't going to give up, he wanted Felix back like when they were kids. He loved  loves her. He was going to get that happy family he always wanted.

Chapter Text

It was noon on the dot as sonny walked into the dinner, his short lunch break from the squad was going to be spent with his ex. They needed to discuss what Ezio wanted to do for his birthday and probably end up talking about her date and his night out with the boys. He took a small booth in the back corner and ordered his food while Felix walks over and gets the usual.

"So sonny, had a good night?" She plopped down on the bench and he chuckled.

"Yeah, the boys loved it and I was on the level of Superman or batman."

"That good," she laughed, "pretty soon you won't be sonny anymore, more like domino."

"Domino?"

"Yeah a play off Dominick and you'd wear black and white.... That would be a horrible superhero." She laughed through the end of the sentence as sonny shook his head.

"There you go ruining my high," he shook his head and she stopped with a quite sorry.

"So how was your night lux." He took a sip of his drink and wiggled his brows.

"So I had a date. Still the same guy... He took me to a unbelievable restaurant and treated me like Cinderella." They both laughed, "no but it was amazing, and oh god the food was gorgeous."

"I get it, your dating Richie rich... Or is it even dating?"

"Well we did decide to call it dating last night," she looked down knowing Sonny's response.

"Oh? So you two are 'dating' dating."

Lux hid her face as sonny leaned in, "so how was he? Would I put him to shame?"

"God sonny stop." She begged as he pushed on.

"Come on girly, how was it?" He laughed at her blush, "then just tell me about him."

"No."

"Come on."

The waitress walked over and smiled, asking why she was here with this dork and not Mr handsome. She blushed more and sonny laid in on the question to make her blush more. She is so adorable when she blushes. God I love that shade of pink on her cheeks.

"sonny stop it. Let's get down to business here." She took a bite of her sandwich and chewed it before looking at sonny, "our son is turning 10."

"Double digits!" He smiled, "what did he want?"

 "He said it had to be a boy girl party, " she smiled, "our boy is growing up."

Sonny laughed, "bit no sleepovers because that is one case I don't want to work."

"Deal," she sighed, "no he wants a skating party. This girl he kinda likes is into skating and he thought he could score points this way."

"He's growing up to fast," sonny smiled, "so this is happening Sunday on his birthday?"

"Yup, I have everything taken care of basically. Ezio already invited kids and parents, I have the stuff to make his cake, and the skating ring is booked."

"How did you get a place so quick?"

"Jason actually did it, said it was his present to ez. I figured it would be easier just to say yes."

"Anything else about the party?" Sonny finished his plate and checked the time.

"Just boy and girls skating and lots of music. Mixed music he said. And the cake is to be a rainbow cake."

"Rainbow cake?"

"I dye the frosting different colors and blend them together so it looks like a smooth transition of color. White cake of course. I planned on doing three tiers so I know there will be enough... He invited the whole class."

Sonny smirked, "so no one could tell he was trying to impress a girl."

"Exactly. So, decorations we don't need and I'll do the cake the night before."

"Sounds good lux, is your boyfriend coming?"

She blushed again, "it's ezio's party. If he wants to invite him he can."

"Fine, we'll talk about him later. I have to know who can make the great Felix culwell blush like a teenager." Sonny stood up and hugged Felix, "later lux."

"Bye sonny."


Felix


felix sighed as sonny left, the waitress came back over.

"So Honey, still dating that cute little Cuban?"

"Yeah Jane, he is just working." She slid the plate over and Jane picked it up.

"Bring him around again honey, he was fine to look at. Unlike that goof... He's just cute."

"He's mine Jane," she teased.

"I'm fine with just looking," she nudge Felix's shoulder.

Felix left a tip and left, walking to the store before gettinget Ezio from school.

Chapter Text

Felix and Rafael had been talking for 12 days, and in those 12 days they had 5 dates. Rafael was carving out time to spend with Felix and she gladly took every chance she got to say yes. He had met Ezio briefly twice, once when he dropped her off and he was doing school work with a friend. The other when he was picking her up and he was spending the night next door with the same friend. Ezio seemed impartial to him, he wanted to win him over a little especially if he wants Felix to stay in his life. So he came up with the perfect plan. 

Rafael had managed a day off this weekend, while the squad was struggling through a case with no evidence. He didn't have court and unless they had something concrete, he wouldn't be bothered... He made sure of it. Liv stopped by his office last night when he was packing up to go home.

"By the way Liv, don't call tomorrow unless you have something solid."

"Why? You got a date." She joked.

"Actually, yes."

"Is this the girl you ran off to have drinks with the other day?"

"Yes. She has a son I briefly met a few times so I figured I should come up with something to make a date for three." He grabbed his jacket and walked out with Liv, "I figured a day in the park would do."

"Sounds nice," she smiled, "so you two are getting serious?"

"I believe so." He smirked, "or else I wouldn't be trying so hard to make time for dates."

"Good for you Barba, finally being human."

They both chuckled and went their separate ways, he was clear to have a day without interruption... God did he deserve it.


Felix


it was a beautiful Saturday, bright sunny and perfect for a day out. She had just got dressed in a pair of shorts and flowy tank top, her high tops tied up and hair braided back so she looked younger then she was, I look 20 again... Damn and that ass in these shorts. She chuckled at the thought before her door rang. She ran over and opened it to find a Rafael dressed in jeans and a plain shirt, he looked so causal and handsome... She liked it almost as much as she liked him in a suit.

"Hey," he gave a awkward smile, "I probably should've called."

"It's fine, what's up?" She motioned him in.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out for the day."

"Sounds great but," she grabbed her jacket from the couch, "I promised ez we'd go to the park."

"Well I was gonna suggest, maybe the three of us go to the park and have lunch? If I want a relationship with you I need to get to know your son." He looked up unsure.

"As long as ez doesn't mind, it sounds great." She gave him a quick kiss, "let me go ask."

Felix turned as ez ran out, "ready mom."

Ez stopped and looked at Rafael, "hi Mr. Barba."

"Hey ez, what if we spent the day with Mr. barba at the park. Is that OK?" She smiled as ez nodded.

"Sure," he smiled at Rafael.

"Please call me rafael." 

"Could I call you raf instead?" Ezio asked.

"Of course." Raf smiled, "if I can call you ez."

"Deal," he shook raf's hand and ran to the door, "let's go."

Raf turned to Felix and she took his hand, "you heard the kid, let's go."


Rafael


The three of them walked to the park, over to the food truck area for food. Rafael insisted on paying, felix caved and let him pay. Ezio gota coke and the monster cheese burger with fries, Felix got a couple gyros and a ice tea, Rafael took a small thing of pepper steak and a water. The three sat at a shady table, Felix pushing her sunglasses up into her hair and handing Ezio a few napkins.

"God I swear your like your father, food all over the face and down the shirt."

 "Sorry mom," he chuckled and wiped his face before wiping up his plaid shirt, "so raf, mom says your some kinda lawyer?"

Raf looked surprised but answered, "yes, I'm a ADA."

"Assistant district Attorney... I think."

"Right," raf smiled, "are you interested in law?"

"My dad is. He was studying to be a lawyer."

"Interesting," raf looked towards Felix to make sure it's OK to talk about her ex.

"He's a cop," Ezio kept going, "he took me to work the other day when he got called in. It was awesome."

"Hey ez, let's not talk about your dad right now." Felix jumped in and ez nodded.

"Sorry." He changed subject, "so did you always want to be a lawyer?"

"When I was younger I had a passion for justice, I wanted to help people who needed it." Raf smiled fondly, "then one day I would be a judge. My abuelita always called me a judge from the moment I started studying law before my scholarship to Harvard."

"So you've accomplished most of your dream. You just haven't made it to judge yet."

Felix gave ez a look and raf interrupted, "not yet but I will. I'm stubborn like that."

"Mom is the same, she said one day she would be a amazing chef and met chef Ramsey.... I even tried to convince her to go on hell's kitchen." Ez smiled at Felix and she blushed.

"I'm not that good ez, Ramsey would toss me out first episode."

"I doubt that," ez frowned and raf added, "he would at least hire you as a bartender from what I seen."

"When did this become all about me? Ez any idea what you want to do when you grow up?"

"Smooth mom," they chuckled before he answered, "I haven't decided. I like the idea of being a cop but nothing set in stone yet... Especially since dad started talking about maybe becoming a lawyer."

"I still remember when you wanted to be on Broadway or a actor.... It was cute watching you sing show tunes."

"Mom," ez blushed and whined.

"Nothing wrong with that," raf smiled and looked up, "I go to shows often."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I always loved shows since I first went to one on a school trip. Now I go at least once a month to the new shows."

"Have you seen wicked? I never got to see that one, heard it's awesome." Ez smiled.

"Yeah it's a good one, one of my favorites." Raf nodded at the boy who was glued to his every word.

"My favorite one that mom let me watch online was taboo with boy Geor..."

"Ezio seriously? I told you not to tell anyone that." Felix blushed.

"You said don't tell Dad, besides you so g the songs all the time." Ez laughed, "it's your favorite show."

"It was one of my favorites," raf smiled at felix to grab her attention, "what's your favorite song from the show?"

"A tie between petrified and freak... But honestly I love sexual confusion, stranger in this world, come on in from the outside, and who could hate on karma chameleon. I hate people that make fun of culture club." Felix chuckled and nudged ez, "give me a freak, Any day of the week. I'm comfortable with those you call demented."

Ez jumped in, "give me a freak, not someone meek...with space between their ears that can be rented."

"I like noise, aggressive boys..." Felix was cut off by raf, "hookers, thieves, queers, and those confused."

Ez smiled as he finished the line with raf, "if you knew...What I knew... You'd be a freak too."

Raf couldn't help it he leaned forward just a little, "hello everyone, I'm Phillip... Always the bride, never the groom." Raf shrugged as he lifted the imaginary dress skirt and Felix and Ezio burst out laughing.

The three of them had finally settled down from laughing before deciding to move on, tossing the trash away and walking the park. It was 4pm as the three were on their way out of the park Ezio asking raf questions. Raf tried to answer the best he could as he walked with his arm around Felix.

"So you grew up in the Bronx?"

"Yup, born and raised in the south Bronx."

"Were you in a gang?"

"Ezio!" Felix scolded.

"Sorry," ez quickly replied, "were you ever married?"

"Ezio!" Felix started.

"Cause mom and dad never got marr..."

"Ezio Renato!" Felix snapped as raf bit back a laugh.

"No. I never got married, never found the right person to marry."

"Do you like my mom?" He stopped and turned around to look at them.

Felix started to snap at him again and raf quickly answered, "yes. I like your mom alot, that's why I wanted to do this today. I wanted to get to know you better and have a fun day free of work."

Felix blushed, "OK, I think that's enough questions ez."

He nodded and started talking about something about school as Felix gave raf a quick kiss, "thank you," she whispered.

"No problem... I wasn't lying."

Raf and Ezio went to buy some water, as they waited in line Ezio looked at raf.

"Hey raf?"

"Yeah ez?"

"My birthday is tomorrow and... I was hoping you could come to my party?"

"That sounds like fun ez but we should ask your mom first."

Ez nodded and they bought the water, heading back towards Felix.


Felix


 

Felix was beaming as they walked back to the apartment, her phone dinged and she checked it while Ezio and raf were grabbing a couple bottles of water from a vender.

Sonny

Is it cool if I take ez for the night? Since his party is tomorrow, I figured it would give you time to finish his cake.

F Sure, we're walking home now. Maybe 30 minutes, give him the time to pack a bag.

S  sounds good. See you then.

"Hey mom, Can raf come to my party tomorrow?" Ezio looked at felix.

"Well if he doesn't mind, I don't see why not. I mean it is your party."

Ez turned to raf, "pleeeeeaaaaaase?!"

"Sure ez, I'll make it for at least a little bit."

Ezio tackled raf and hugged him, "thanks raf!"

Felix smiled and took the water raf handed her, "so ez, up for a night with dad?"

"Yes!"

He practically took off running as she took raf's hand, "would you be interested in staying late tonight? Since we'll have some privacy."

"I would love too." He kissed her cheek, "let's get moving before ezio gets to far."

They arrived back at the apartment and Ezio packed a bag. He hugged raf goodbye as the bell rang and raf went towards the restroom, he thanked him again for today and tomorrow before finally letting him go. Felix smiled as she watch Ezio run to the door while raf walked back outta ear shot.


Sonny


sonny was on his way to felix's place, humming as he went. He finally was getting a night alone with his boy, the night before his birthday. Today at work he invited everyone to ezio's birthday party except Barba cause it was his day off, not that he expected he would come anyways. Barba had been spending most of his free time with some new girlfriend of his, the last time he saw him the squad was picking on him for being to happy about seeing her. Fin made a sex joke after Barba refused to talk about the girl and he didn't deny it. Naturally they all assumed they were sleeping together at this point when he changed the subject. Good for him, he could use a good girl. Maybe eventually he would even introduce her to us because everyone is dying to see what woman would be dating Barba.

Sonny got to the door and knocked, the door flying open to show a Ezio charging him. Felix giggled and handed him the bag.

"Hey dad."

"What's up ez?"

"We spent all day with raf in The park!"

"Raf?" Sonny smiled at felix, "his name is raf?"

"I'm a little busy sonny."

"Oh he's here?" Sonny was grinning, "come on let me meet the guy that has lux acting like a teenager again."

"How about no." She laughed.

"Dad, I invited raf to the party too!"

"Oh so I finally get to meet the guy." Sonny was enjoying this to much, watching Felix blush.

"remember you have ez till the party tomorrow." She adds to change the subject.

"I know, Have fun tonight." Carisi wiggled his brows and Felix rolled her eyes.

"Only you would be fine with me dating someone... your weird for an ex sonny."

"Love you too lux," he chuckled and picked up ez, "let's go bud."

"Bye mom! Tell raf I said bye too!"

The two ran off as Felix shook her head, "bye boys."


Felix


Rafael walked out a few minutes later and hugged Felix from behind, "so your ex picked up ez?"

"Yes, my ex knows your coming to the party tomorrow and can't wait to meet you."

"Should I be scared?" He kissed her shoulder.

"No, he's cool. We grew up together and all he cares about is that I'm happy.... He's still my best friend and he has been relentlessly teasing me about acting like a teenager when I think of you." She giggled as he kissed her pulse.

"Good, cause I would hate to cause a scene."

"If you keep this up, I doubt I will be able to make ez's cake."

"Then maybe," he tugged her shorts, "we should play first then you can make the cake."

"Or you can help me and we can play while it bakes... Have you ever had sex in a kitchen raf?"

"Honestly," he smiled when she turned around, "it would be a first. And I would be glad if you wouldn't mind helping me with it."

"Hmmmmmm," she tipped her head side to side, "I would love to."

He dragged her in by her shorts and kissed her, "then by all means, show me how to bake a cake before we make a mess."

Chapter Text

It was the day of the party, everything was set up and Felix was driving the cake over now. The three tier cake was just as Ezio showed her, and the skating rink was perfect. They had black lights and a disco ball, arcade, pool tables, and plenty of seating. She put the cake on display and smiled as the caterer Jason also hired, laid out the food. Sonny would be bringing Ezio in about 15 minutes, guests would be arriving any time. 

Felix got her skates and slipped them on, rolling over to the door to greet guests as they entered. She would put the presents on the gift table and tell the kids and adults to grab skates and get on the floor. The DJ put on a full mix of music, it jumped from country to rock to 80's to modern pop.... A perfect mix. Ez came running in and tackled her, then took off to get his skates.

"So, your boyfriend here yet?"

"No he had a little work before he could come... Probably a hour."

"OK... I have to meet him when he arrives, promise me." Sonny smiled.

Felix shook her head, "no promises... Ez likes him alot."

Sonny laughed and gave her a hug, "some of the squad will be dropping by... Ez had me invite them too."

"The more the merrier... That's why Jason also booked catering."

"Remind me to thank your boss next time I see him," sonny laughed and went to get some food.

Everything was going great, almost all the kids showed... Including ez's crush, and Sonny's squad showed up minus two he said.


 

Rafael


The party was in full swing, everyone was having fun as raf walked in. He was in jeans and a soft red button up shirt, his hair comb back and a little messy. He walked through the door with the small box in his hand, scanning the large building for Felix or ez. Luckily it was barely a minute before Fe came rolling over. Her hair braided off over her left shoulder, a pair of skinny jeans hugging her ass perfectly, a plaid button up shirt in different shades of blue with a little white, and a white tank top underneath that was skin tight and highlighting her curves well.

"Hey cutie," she smiled as she stopped just a inch from him.

"Hola cariño," he kissed her and pulled back, "I got a gift for Ezio."

"You didn't need to do that raf," she smiled, "and why does it look like a jewelry box?"

"Small gift, didn't want to use a big box." He looked at it, "does it look that bad?"

"It looks like you are giving a little boy a diamond necklace," she chuckled, "drop it at the table over there and I'll get you your skates."

"Fe I'm not mu..." She was out of ear shot as he sighed and finished the sentence, "much of a skater."

He walked the box to the gift table and Fe returned with his skates. He put them on after she promised to help him, besides he couldn't be that bad could he? He laced up and stood, moving carefully forward as Felix smiled from the rink. He came over and she took his hand pulling him with her as they slowly skated around the outside. She got him feeling comfortable and decided to loosen him up some. She put her hand in his back pocket and he crossed his hand over her arm and into her back pocket. She leaned into him and gave him a soft kiss as the next song started.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth.

She started humming along as he laughed ever so softly, his breath blowing her bangs towards her face.

Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

He kissed her head as she softly started singing just loud enough for him to hear.

I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.
And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival, you're my living proof.
My love is alive and not dead.
Tell me that we belong together.
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

Felix giggled as raf started to slip backwards, about to fall before she caught him between her and the railing, "easy there babe, don't need you getting hurt."

He gave her a quick kiss and she helped him start up again, Ezio skating under their holding hands. He teased them as Felix let go to catch the kid and pick him up. Raf chuckled as Felix spun him around before putting him down. The song just switched over as she let him go and he skated over to hug raf.


Sonny


Sonny sat talking to Liv and Amanda off by the food. Noah was playing on the ball pit and Jesse was somehow sleeping in her stroller. The song had just switched over and sonny smiled, standing up to find Felix.

Many times I tried to tell you
Many times I cried alone
Always I'm surprised how well you cut my feelings to the bone

"One moment lieu, I have to find Felix."

"Why?" Amanda asked curiously.

"This is our song," he blushed, "I always hug her when we hear this song and are together."

"That's cute." Liv smiled, "probably was better before you split up though."

He looked towards the floor to see Barba had showed up and had on skates, "I didn't know Barba could skate?"

Liv and Amanda stood and looked over with smiles, "I thought you didn't invite him because he had the day off yesterday?"

Sonny looked at Liv, "Carmen must've passed it on."

"I don't think so," Amanda frowned.

Sonny turned to see Ezio almost tackling raf with a hug and Felix rolling over laughing. Before sonny could say it was nothing, she leaned over and kissed him before taking his hand and dragging him as she skated backwards facing him.

We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better
We belong, we belong, we belong together

Sonny's heart dropped, Barba was the 'raf' that Felix and Ezio had been talking about. He felt his hand curle up a little as he watched Felix spun around and tuck under barba's arm. He seemed to be talking to her then he snaked his hand down lower to hold her hip to his and kissed her.


Felix


Felix heard the song and frowned after getting raf started again. He caught it.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just... This use to be me and my ex's song."

"I thought you two were on good terms?"

"We are... It just hurts a little you know?" She shrugged.

He slipped his hand down to her hip and pulled her closer, "then let's see if I can make it better."

He kissed her and she giggled as he kept her close after they pulled apart... That song barely registered in her head as it played. Raf was making everything better without doing more then being there.

 

 

She pulled away and slipped Infront of him, tugging his hands around her waist. He chuckled into her hair as she slowly let them skate along. He hummed in approval.

"Im Glad I could make it... I was actually dreading coming here."

"Why?"

"Meeting your ex. Causing a scene. Having to sneak off with you to hide my excitement."

She smacked his arm, "you are horrible."

"Come on, every skating ring has a make out corner." He whispered in her ear, "we are already acting like teenagers."

"Keep it in your pants and I might just have you spend the night again." She blushed, "definitely have you spend the night."

He kissed her cheek as he nosed it, "deal."

They had just made it around one time when she pushed off him and turned to skate backwards, "behave raf, there are children present."


Rafael


 

He laughed and took her hand, the two begin rolling off to the carpet floors when Ezio came over, "can raf meet dad now?"

Felix shrugged and looked at raf, "you ready to meet my ex?"

"Why not," he nodded, "ez is to eager not to."

He watched ez skate just ahead of them as Felix took his hand again, a soft kiss to his cheek before they turned the corner past the food table to the little sitting/dinning area. They turned the corner, and raf felt his heart slow down... Liv, rollins, and carisi sitting there. Ezio rolled over to sonny and hugged him tight, Fe laughing as she stopped by sonny.

"Hey dad, this is raf. He's the one that took us to the park and sang show tunes with us." Ezio smiled as carisi clearly had a fake smile.

"Hey Barba, glad you could make it."


Felix


Felix looked confused, sonny looked a little tense with a matching tone, and he called raf by his last name. "Do you two know each other?"

"Yeah lux, he's the ADA we use." Sonny looked like he was about to crack.

She looked towards raf who suddenly looked a lot less confident and flirty like he was in the rink. Got to fix this. 

"Hey ez, why don't you go find avery"

"OK mom." Ez rolled off and Felix looked at sonny.

"Yeah let's all go talk," she motioned raf and sonny to follow her to a small back room.

 "We should lux," sonny stood up.

Once in the back room she turned toward the two men as sonny looked pissed. 

"Really? Your dating my ex... My girl." Sonny started looking at raf.

"Wait a minute dude, I'm not your girl." Fe inserted.

"How was I suppose to know she was your ex... If you even had a ex or kid really." Raf tried to play a more reasonable position.

"Did you sleep with her?"

"OK sonny stop right there." Felix put a hand on his chest and glared, "what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Your the one dating my co-worker."

"Like I even knew that. Sonny five minutes ago you were dying to meet the guy that had me acting like a teenager now you want to start a fight?"

"My co-worker lux, I see him almost daily... I have work with this guy!"

Felix looked at raf who looked uncomfortable, Don't worry your not the only one. she turned to sonny again.

"Let's talk this out later... You know when your son isn't having a birthday."

"No I think we should talk it out right. You can't be dating my co-worker."

Felix was getting mad, the one thing they never did to each other was tell the other what to do. They didn't run the others life, that was their deal. And why they never fought, this was usually why it happened.

"Sonny, you don't get to tell me what to do. I can date whoever I want. I don't need your permission."

"Lux I just..."

"No Dominick. You never had the right to do that. Your not getting it now, especially because we aren't together."


Sonny


sonny winced, shit... Wrong words. Now lux is pissed. 

"I wasn't trying to tell you what to do... It's just I work with the guy. I see him every single day."

"Then you two can get along for ez." She rolled her shoulders back as she crossed her arms over her chest, "I can date who I want."

"Lux i..." 

"No save it. I thought you were better then that sonny."

Felix took raf's hand and tugged it lightly to get him to follow her. He followed her out with a mixed Expression, their hands grasping each others as the went through the door. Sonny felt his just as confused... He punched the wall and winced,Why would anyone punch a wall... It hurts. It's just a stupid thing to do. Like tell lux what to do... How am I going to fix that? How can I win her back after that little show? 

Sonny walked out, he went back to the seat he was in and looked deflat. Liv and Amanda tried to cheer sonny up but he wasn't having it. He would put on a smile and pep up around others and especially ez but, he felt dead inside. He would look over and watch Felix skate around, showing off like she does so well. Then she would take barba's hand and laugh, they would kiss and sonny felt sick. How am I going to win her back from him? 


Felix


It was getting late, the party would end soon. So felix grabbed ez and they got everyone around to do the cake. Sonny was front and center with them, the 'happy' family. They got their cake and Ezio sat with Avery and a few classmates as Felix sat with raf across the dining area. His arm wrapped around her as they shared the cake, it cheered him up some... A little less awkward feeling when he was focusing on her. Then ez skated over.

"Hey, I got a question." Ez stopped at their table.

Felix wiped cake off her cheek since raf so kindly decided to wipe his finger off there disguised as a soft caress, "what's up ez?"

"Actually it's for raf," he looked at the clearly surprised man.

"OK, how can I help?" Raf looked at ez.

"The parties almost over and I still haven't talked to Lucy yet."

"Let me guess you like this Lucy?"

Ez nodded and raf moved his arm so he could lean forward towards the boy, "well... Does she like to skate?"

Ez nodded and raf leaned in close so just two could hear.

Ez smiled, "OK. Thanks raf."

Ezio ran off, no doubt to do what raf said. He sat back and put his arm around her again. Now she was curious, she needed to know what he said.

"What did you tell him to do?"

Raf turned to look at her, "nothing."

"Oh come on, you said something."

"I told him to be himself."

"Liar," she giggled, "come on."

"Fine, I told him to go over and tell her your not a good skater and need help. Have her take your hand and help you into the rink and skating around... It worked for me."

Felix gave a fake shock gasp as raf smiled to hold back a laugh. She slapped his shoulder.

"You played me."

They sat their laughing and she leaned over and kissed him, before pushing the remaining cake into his face as she pulled back. He took the napkin and wiped his face, trying to stop laughing as she kissed his cake flavored cheek.

"Mmmmmm... Vanilla."

They both started laughing again as they watched ez do exactly as raf told him to, ez took the girls hand and she was helping him skate. As the song switched to a slow song, ez held her hand tighter and pulled her over to whisper something. The girl blushed when she pulled back, then kissed his cheek. Ez blushed a d the two kept going.

"Thanks raf." 

"De nada cariño."

Felix kissed raf again and pulled back resting forehead to forehead with him. He slipped his thumb over hers and rubbed it gently.

"Thanks for coming raf."

"No, thank ez for inviting me." He let out a hit breath that tickled her lips, "he's the reason I'm here."

"So I'm just chop liver," she joked.

"No... More like a afterthought."

She shoved his shoulder and tipped her head back to kiss his nose, "jerk."

They both chuckled, he moved his head just enough to steal her lips.

"So we're good?" Felix asked.

"Why wouldn't we be?" 

"Sonny... The way he acted."

"It's fine, if I can deal with him at work I can act civil with him outside of work as well."

"Good, cause I'd hate to see you leave... Even if I like to watch you go." She blushed as the words left her lips and he nosed her cheek to get access to her clever mouth again.

They were successfully making out like teenagers. Luckily they were in a fairly quiet area with no people. When they broke for air, she stood up and tugged his hand.

"Let's go."

"Where?" 

"To the make out corner, if we're acting like teens we might as well do it right. Besides it's darker and we could get away with more." She pulled him behind her towards the dark back corner, into the back room as he laughed softly... His hands holding her waist.


Sonny


As the party came to a end, sonny found ez and was helping him pack up the gifts in his mom's car. Felix walked over, and thanked them before looking to sonny.

"You still want ez tonight."

"I don't want him hearing what you two will be doing tonight lux."

Low blow, stop it sonny. He mentally scolded himself. Felix nodded and bit her lip.

"OK sonny, have fun. We'll be leaving after raf gives ez his gift." Fe picked up a small box that looks more like a jewelry box.

Rad walked over and gave a week smile as ez came back in and hugged him, "thanks for coming raf."

"Told you I would," he stepped back and took the box Felix handed him, "here, open my gift before we have to go."

"OK," ez pulled the ribbon on top and opened the box, a smile overcoming his face, "no way really?!"

Ez pulled out three tickets to wicked and was absolutely beaming, "thank you raf! Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Happy birthday ez." Ez tackled raf again as he spoke.

"Does that mean you'll come along too?"

"There is three ticket isn't there?"

Ez put them back in the box and handed them to raf, "I don't want to lose them, can you hold onto them for me?"

"Sure, happy birthday ez... See you later."

"Bye raf," ez hugged Felix too, "bye mom."

"Bye Ezio Renato... Have a good night with your dad." She kissed his head and the two left.

Ez was talking a mile a minute about the show tickets and Sonny's heart hurt, not only was felix dating his co-worker but the one he looked up to most as a mentor. She left with him, ez seems to love him, and sonny has been nothing but stupid since he found out. Taking cheep shots, telling lux what to do, and completely screwing up his chances at winning her back. How am I to compete with Barba? I looked at him as a mentor during law school and he even set up a ADA interview for me... Felix deserves a guy like him, but... I guess I need to be better then him. I have to win her back, I love her.

Chapter Text

Sunday night, he had helped Fe carry all of ezio's presents in and then drove her to his place for the night, which resulted and being sore this morning. He got in the shower, accompanied by Fe, and then got dressed and left for work. He promised to call Fe after she got off work at about 3pm, then she took of to the restraunt. 

Rafael got to work just on time, tell Carmen good morning before she gave him his messages. He went to his desk and dug into a case that SVU was working, a clean cut rape case except the suspect was claiming to be mentally ill. He was about a hour in when Amanda and Liv showed up. 

"Barba, we need a warrant." Amanda started.

"With what evidence," he scuffed.

"The evidence Infront of you." Liv sat down.

"Not enough," Barba looked up with his fake smile, "thanks for stopping by."

"Hey Amanda, give us a moment." Liv watched Amanda leave.

"Yes Liv?" He sighed.

"We need to talk about yesterday."

"Please no." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

 "Your dating carisi's ex, the mother of his child."

"Like I knew that. She never used his name or anything for me to know different."

"How serious are you two?"

"Can we not."

"No we are," Liv took his pen away, "you two have to work together and I'm concerned to see how that'll work out. Carisi looks betrayed."

"I didn't know!" Raf leaned back, "I had no idea but I like her Liv. I don't want to break up with her because carisi can't deal with the fact she moved on."

"I never said to do that."

"Then what should I do?" He looked at his friend for advice.

"How much do you like her?" Liv leaned forward.

"A lot... More then anyone I ever met." Raf groaned, "I sound like a teenager."

"You were acting like one too."

He glared at that and she laughed, tossing the pen back down.

"Talk to carisi before the end of the day." She stood up and started to walk out with a smile, "I don't need three toddlers to take care of."

Raf chuckled at that as she left. Liv's right, I need to talk to carisi. But what do I say? He carried on work, pushing through file after file before running to court. He got out with just enough time to meet his mom for lunch.


"Hey Mami."

Raf walked into a small sub shop and hugged his mom that stood to greet him.

"Hola mijo. (Hello son.)"

"como esta tu dia? (How's your day)" raf sat down at the small table after ordering his drink and sub.

"Busy, but it's always busy." She smiled, "what about you?"

"The usual busy." He gave a half smile.

"What's wrong Rafi?" She took his hand and gave her mother look of 'let mommy help'.

"I started to tell you about how I started seeing this girl, Felix. Well, on Saturday I spent the whole day with her and her son... We were in the park all day and I think I won her son over too. He invited me to his birthday party yesterday and it was probably the best time I had in a long time." Raf had a smile thinking about it, "I even got Broadway tickets for the boy, Ezio, and he loved them."

"But?"

"But I also found out she was a co-workers ex and said co-worker is ezio's father." He took a sip of his drink.

"And?"

"I just don't know how to go about this when I work with the man almost daily."

She shook her head, "how much do you like her?"

"A lot Mami, she is something else."

"Then things will work out Rafi, have faith." She winked as the food was brought out, "so tell me about this girl."

Raf laughed and his mom nudge him on. As they ate.

"Her name is Felix, she's a chef. Has a 10 year old son, Ezio, who loves musicals and Broadway shows." Raf blushed a little as he told his mom about some of the dates and things that were said.

"How old is she Mijo?"

Raf went red, "33."

"Rafael...." His mom rolled her eyes as he Interrupted, "I know Mami, she's a little younger."

"Mi hijo el zorro plateado (my son the silver Fox)." 

Raf blushed, "9 years ain't bad."

 "Who am I to deny you your love." She smiled, "just remember, what would abuelita think of her?"

"Abuela la habría amado ... ella me hace feliz (grandma would've loved her ... She makes me happy)."

"I want to meet this girl, we should have lunch together soon." She smiled at her son, "what do you say, Usted no está avergonzado por su madre, ¿verdad? (Your not ashamed of your mother, are you?)"

"Of course not Mami, I just have to make sure she has free time."

Rafael texted Felix, he asked if she would be willing to meet his mother. He slipped his phone away and made small chat with his mom.


 The rest of lunch went quick, Rafael running to make it to court in time. The case was a slam dunk and easy win, to which he did and was on his way to his office. A ringing phone grabbing his attention, Felix.

"Hola cariño."

"Hey Rafi, what's up?"

"Just got done in court."

"That's awesome."

He laughed, "why did you call baby?"

"Great, you can already tell when I'm stalling," she giggled, "I got your text from earlier, I would love to meet your... Mami."

"That's great," raf tipped the phone down away from his mouth as he walked by Carmen's desk asking her to hold his calls, "I'll set that up. Anytime you would prefer?"

"Anytime is good as long as I'm not at work. I'll leave that to you and," she pitched her voice, "mami."

"I have been picked on for worse," he smirked as he sat down, "besides I love my Mami."

"Good, mommy boys are always sweeter." He rolled his eyes as she finished, "but you definitely are much bigger then most the mommy boys I've been with."

"I'm not doing that at work," he bit his lip to hold back the urge to moan.

"Then I guess I won't show you the lingerie I just bought on my shopping trip."

His eyes fluttered, just imagining what it could look like... Especially on her, "I'm trying to work cariño."

His voice failed him as she giggled, "you don't sound so sure."

"What color is it?"

"Oh? Is Rafael Barba actually gonna do this at work."

He looked at his door and groaned, "por favor Felix."

"Red."

He closed his eyes and could almost see it now, "are you busy tonight?"

"A little raf, Ezio is home tonight and I promised to watch Avery until his mom got off."

Rafael locked his door and closed the shades, Carmen wouldn't Interrupt unless it was important, "you'll be the death of me fe."

"I'll take that as a yes. Let me get changed and I'll send you a shot or two." She put the phone on speaker, "tell me about court while I change."

"I...I...I..."

"You shouldn't stutter until after you see me." She teased and he could her the rustling as she pulled stuff from a bag. 

"What can I say, you amaze me."

She giggled, "i try."

He listened to her talk about her day, how she went shopping with a friend and got her hair done, red streaking. After 10 minutes, his phone received a few photos. He went to open them and she said goodbye. He hung up and slowly opened the messages, immediately regretting it. Inside was four pictures, one of Felix in his old hoodie and bare legs as he took in her new hair. Next was her laying down on her bed, barely held in by a see-through red bra. Then one of her laying on her back, the full lingerie lace dress in view. Lastly was the one that pushed him over, Felix in the same dress chest lifted up slightly as she took a picture of her hand sliding under her panties. A message attached reading 'wish you were here.'

Rafael was officially stuck in his office until he could hide his excitement that was straining his pants. He knew it was a bad idea but he couldn't help himself, now he pays the price. rafael you know better. Maybe you can slip Felix into your schedule tomorrow. He undid his pants and grasped himself, giving a soft tug as his head fell back. His mind slipping into thought of Felix in her little outfit.

He Grabbed her by her waist and kissed her neck as he slowly moved his hand down. Her breath hitching as he tugged the underwear off and bent her over a counter. He kicked her legs apart and ran a hand through her slit. She bit in a moan and he watched her body shiver with anticipation. He ran a hand up to her breast and licked her ear.

"Your so wet for me, such a good girl."

She whimpered and he slowly pushed in, her head resting against his shoulder as she gasped. He slowly brought her up against him and lifted her leg to get a better angel as he thrusted. He could feel her walls clamping down and a quick build up. His hips stuttered as he bit his lip to keep quiet. 

He opened his eyes and looked at his hand. Quickly wiping it off and throwing away the tissues before wiping off. This isn't what I imagined when I said I felt like a teenager again. He zipped back up after adjusting and looked at the picture of Felix on his phone again, he was making room in the schedule for her soon... He wanted to see that outfit in person. And he definitely wanted to feel her in person next time he cums. 


It was almost time to turn in, he just wants to go home and sleep if he couldn't spend time with fe. There came a knock and Carmen peeking in.

"Mr. Barba, detective carisi is here to see you."

He nodded and watched as the tall blonde walked in and sat down across from him, his blue eyes staring at him ever so closely.

"What did you need detective?"

"We need to talk."

Raf pushed off the desk to roll the chair back to stand, "I thought we already did."

 "Not really, that was lux knocking me down a peg. We didn't really get to talk and I was to angry to be able to really discuss the issue."

"Are you going to yell at me again?" Raf barely acknowledge the eye roll he got.

"No, we need to talk like men... Liv said so."

"Why does Liv always have to play mom?" Raf sighed, "fine, should I start or do you want to."

"I feel betrayed." Sonny sighed, "especially after all the jokes we made about you and your new girlfriend."

"I didn't know she was your ex."

"Are you two sleeping together?" 

Raf cleared his throat, This is why I didn't want to talk. How the hell are we going to talk without fighting. He looked away from sonny trying not to walk out.

"Does it really matter?"

"It does."

Raf looked up, "what do you want me to say?"

"I... I don't know. Nothing can be said to fix this." Sonny leaned forward and put his head in his hands, "this was a bad idea."

"Carisi I.." raf tried to figure out how to phrase it, only to have sonny blurt out, "I still love her."

Raf froze, unable to look at the detective but not willing himself to stop listening.

"I still love Felix, I wanted to win her back when they moved back....But she met you and now I, I don't know what to do." Raf knew sonny was looking at him and he couldn't take it.

Raf didn't even hear it, how could he when it left his lips without thought, "I love her."

The silence was deafening, a soft ringing In their ears as niether one could say anything. They both just said they love her, they both made it clear from one statement that niether one would back down. Sonny just standing up and leaving, this wouldn't end well and raf was greatful he walked out so he didn't have to. 

Sonny still loves her. Sonny wants her back. What the hell did I just get myself into? Has he told fe?…. Would felix pick between us or just give up on both of us? Ultimatum her to choose between us and take a chance at loosing her? What have I done?

Rafael left shortly after, calling fe as he walked in his apartment door only to have it go to voicemail. He took a deep breath and sent her a text, hoping to get a call back soon. Hoping sonny didn't go and confess his love to her and that they were together right now. 

Rafael

Give me a call when you can cariño, I really need to tell you something.

He bit his lip and poured a drink, Now I get to figure out how to tell Felix I love her.

Chapter Text

After sonny and Rafael's talk, sonny needed to talk to Felix. It was possibly the worse idea, she wasn't happy with him for the party, but he needed to talk it out. Having Felix angry at him was like having the lieutenant mad at him, it was very rare for it to be real anger and not pass quickly... But he had to fix it when It did happen.

So.... Sonny had to win her back. He had to show her that he was the best choice. That he was better then Barba. But how?

Sonny was walking to felix's place, knowing ezio would be with Avery till 8ish tonight... Then Felix was watching them all night. He check the time, just under a hour to talk to her. He got to her door and knocked, his heart racing. Please, please, please answer the door.... I need to talk to you. Please lux, I'm sorry just talk to me. 

The door opened and Felix was standing there in leggings and a oversized Harvard hoodie, "hello sonny."

No pep in her voice, just a monotoned hello.... Shit is that his hoodie?

"Hey lux, can I come in and talk for a moment?"

"Are you gonna tell me what to do?"

"I'm sorry about that." He sighed, "please lux... Let me explain myself."

She rolled her eyes, "fine, but your gone before ez gets home."

She stepped aside and let him in. He took in the apartment as he walked, noticing little things out of place like she had been cleaning or more likely a angry distraction cleaning. Sonny waited till he heard the door before turning towards Felix standing by the door. Her blonde hair had small tones of red by her bangs, She must've done her hair today... The red wasn't there before. She looked at him expectantly and it clicked in his head. Out of the thousands of things he wanted to say, the hundreds of time he practiced it, tens of pep talks to get here... Only one thing left his lips.

"I'm sorry."

"That's all you needed to say sonny?"

"No," he sighed and locked eyes with her, "I was a complete jerk..."

"More like ass."

"...I shouldn't tell you what to do..."

"Never tell me what to do."

"...And I was just jealous."

Felix sighed and put a arm around his neck to hug him, "sonny, ez might like raf but he loves you. He wants to be like his dad not his mom's boyfriend."

I'm jealous of him getting you. Sonny hugged her close and took a shallow breath, hiding the fact he wanted to kiss her so badly right now.

"Sonny, can you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Handle me dating... I mean Ezio doesn't mind and I want a relationship but, if your having trouble with it then I can always keep it a little more private around you. I know you two work together but we can keep this civil." Fe had pulled back and started to do her nervous straightening of the clean room.

"Lux, it's fine. Stop rambling."

She smiled and looked at him as he stepped towards the door, "good sonny, cause I really like him... I was even planning a lunch with mom to tell her."

You need to make a move... Your gonna lose all chances at winning her back if you let her fall more for Barba... Come on sonny. He stopped and looked at Fe that had walked over to let sonny out.

"I'm glad we can work so well together sonny, I was scared that this might get out of han..."

Sonny grabbed fe, pulling her into a passionate kiss.

Sonny grabbed fe waist, her hands pressed flat against his chest. Their lips pressing bruisingly together, as their hearts raced... Then 30 seconds later, it hit her. She shoved him away towards the door and gasped for breath.

"Out."

"Felix I...."

"Out!" She screamed and shoved him away.

She watched the man of the boy she loved look defeated. His ocean colored eyes were just as wet as he tried to stuttered out a apology, giving up and walking out. He slowly ran a hand down his shirt to feel three broken buttons where her hands were, she must've broke them off when she pushed him away, She pushed me away... She broke the kiss... I fucked up, I messed it all up.


Felix


Felix had the air feeling like she had with their first kiss. The one where sonny climbed up the small rickety trellis walkway and carefully walked it up to her window. He knocked lightly and was met with soft lips, and caressing hands gently holding him to her through the open window before she pulled back just a little and he said goodnight. He climbed back down and swore she felt her feet lift from the ground.

But it also felt like her first kiss with rafael. The one where she twisted her ankle and fell into his side, he sat her down on the small stone wall along the edge of the park and kneeled down to check her ankle. When he lifted his head up to look at her, their lips were but a inch apart... Quickly disappearing as there lips barely touched the other. His hand holding her ankle softly as the other held her cheek. Her left hand holding his head to hers by the hair and her other holding the side of his chest. They pulled apart after a minute and he cleared his throat, helping her up and half carrying her back home... Though she was surprised he did, she barley felt the ground beneath her.

Now she stood in her apartment, feeling dread instead of bliss. No...no, no, no... I  can't feel like that from sonny. I love Rafael not sonny. .. don't I. I do. I really do... Shit, how am I going to tell Rafael? Her heart fell, how is she going to tell him that sonny kissed her. How would he take it? What happened to just talking?

Felix fell back on the couch and caught her breath as her head pounded. A soft to g fro. Her phone was ignored, until a text came through.

Rafael

Give me a call when you can cariño, I really need to tell you something.

She only had a minute before ez would be home, and she didn't even know if she was still on Earth after that kiss. She need to talk to raf, but she couldn't do it now... She just focused on ez and would call raf back tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Felix woke up, her heart falling when she looks at the phone and See's she still hasn't answered raf. Should I call or let it go... I mean, I still love raf... Even if we haven't said it yet.  She looked at the message again and sighed, she had to reply now.

Felix

Sorry about last night, kinda hectic. Give me a call when you can and we can chat.

Felix got up and got ready for work, her phone ringing as she was walking out the door.... Rafael.

"Hola Cariño."

"Hey Rafi."

"So how was your night?"

"I... I don't know how to put it." She sighed, "I can always explain it later. How was yours?"

"Not much better." She heard a click, like a pen tapping his desk. Is he tapping his pen?.... Is he nervous? "do you have some free time tonight?"

"Uhm... I can, I mean I can switch somethings arou..."

"It isn't direr, I ju..."

"No raf, I want to. We really need to talk, I have something I need to tell you." She bit her lip and leaned against the door.

"Oh... Uhhhhh." 

Shit no,no, no... Fix this now girl.

"no not like that raf, just... I really need to tell you something and you sounded like you needed to too."

"Oh thank God," he whispered so she barely heard it, "yeah, say 8ish?"

"That sounds good, my place and I'll cook." She smiled, "you haven't got to taste my cooking yet."

"I believe Ezio said, 'you could be Gordon Ramsey's personal chef'."

"I need to get that boy to stop talking likeke that... One day it'll bite me in the ass."

They both chuckled, "no that sounds good. Should I bring the wine?"

"Sure... But I'd go with a Chianti." She smiled, "pairs well with what I had in mind."

"Interesting, Chianti it is. See you at 8."

"Bye rafi."

"Bye Fe."

After he hung up Felix made a few calls and sonny would pick Ezio up from school and take him to work with him. He would keep him for the night and give her the chance to talk to raf, she couldn't keep secrets and already was dealing with enough without sonny kissing her like that. She ran off to work and arrived with minutes to spare.


Rafael


Rafael hung up and sighed, he still didn't k is how to say it. How to say sonny confronted him and said he still loved her. How he said it too. How he... Well how to say he loved her. Now he was lost in thought of what she needed to say. At first he swore she was ending it, that sonny had went over there and won her back which would be a great chick flick but not ending well for him. Thank go she told him it wasn't what he thought... He might've cancel.

Luckily, he sat in his office alone daydreaming of what to say and how she would react. It was about three when Liv called with a case, he rushed over to the squad room to be met with a surprise. Ezio was with his dad and gave him a hug when he walked in, throwing off his usual swagger he was hoping to hold so carisi would hold his. 

"Hey raf," Ezio have him a quick hug, "thanks again for those tickets. I can't wait to go."

"It was nothing ez," he smiled and turned towards the detectives, "what's the case?"

Carisi wouldn't make eye contact and Amanda tried to bring the attention to the case again. Liv came out and had carisi put Ezio in the interview room to read or something. When he came back the tension was even thicker, God how I wish we could just work. Liv is going to make us talk again at this rate. Liv waited till everything was discussed and ask him into the office. Raf sat down on her desk as she shut the door and turned towards him.

"I thought you two talked."

"Not how you would've wanted."

 She frowned, "what happened?"

"Carisi said he still loved Felix. And I kinda said I loved her and then he ran out of my office." Raf sighed, "he also said something about feeling betrayed before the confession of love."

"You were suppose to talk this out not make things worse."

"A little hard to do when he just says he feels betrayed and looks at you like your suppose to give up everything for him." Raf took a deep breath to calm down as he looked at Liv, "I love her Liv, I'm just trying to figure out how to say it."

Liv looked down, "can you at least act professional?"

"I tried, he won't acknowledge me.... He won't even look at me." Raf gave that fake smile to hide the hurt, "I finally got what I wanted for so long and I can't even enjoy it."

Liv shook her head, "fix it. I need you two talking and I don't need to transfer him or get a new Ada."

Liv opened the door and walked out as raf slowly followed, this was becoming a mess quicker then he could've thought.


Sonny


Sonny sat at his desk, a heavy sigh as Amanda came over to talk.

"You ok?"

"Yeah," he nodded with a fake smile.

"You won't even look at ba..." She watched him flinch and quickly stopped, "I know he is... You know dating your ex but, she is your ex."

He shook his head, "can we not talk about this," sonny stood up and got a soda to give his son as raf and Liv stepped out.

Everyone looked at him as he walked by without looking again and raf sighed quietly, "carisi..."

His words fell on deaf ears as carisi shut the door and Barba rolled his eyes before grabbing his things, "call me if you more."

Sonny sat in the room with Ezio as he took a sip, "hey dad?"

"Yeah ez?"

"Do you not like raf?"

Sonny froze and bit his lip trying to figure out how not to bring his son into this mess too, "no I do. I like him but we work together and things can get complicated."

"Then why don't you talk to him? You barely looked at him."

Because I hate myself for making things worse. Because I feel like I would punch him... Because I still admire the guy even if he stole my girl and I want her back. 

"It's complicated ez, don't worry about it."

Sonny gave ez a quick hug and left to find Barba had left already. He gave a silent prayer before Liv called him in for a chat as well.


Felix


Felix ran to the store and picked up what she need, the steak, potatoes, green beans, and a few fresh spices. She got home about 5 from the market and sighed,  don't start it till 7... You'll be ready to quick if you start before then. She sighed and decided to pick out a outfit for tonight. 

She walked to her closet and skimmed through, i need something to catch his eye so when I tell him he will be distracted. Maybe possibly not start a war with sonny. She skimmed through her dresses, deciding it was the best way to keep him focused on her. She didn't want to go to fancy, but she need more the. A simple slip sundress wouldn't be enough, it had to show her figure more. Her eyes landed on the perfect dress. It was a deep vneck structured dress, brilliant bright white with a deep bright blue design over it that looked like a ink stain. The blue made out a soft flowery design down the right side and along the very bottom with a tie-dye effect at the neck line. It stopped mid thigh and had a small flare to the skirt.

 She laid it out and took a shower, washing up and stepping out to towel off. She bunned her hair back and tossed on a pair of shorts and a tank top to start cooking. Checking the time it was just before 7 so she turned on her stereo and hit her cooking playlists. A little train, Daughtry, acdc, Rhianna, show tunes coming up before switching to Luke Bryan. She relaxed and had fun cooking like she rarely got to.

When Felix cooked at home, there was three ways she did it. Quick family style, which was the most common. Then you had her trying to impress with her food, which could take hours and a lot of stress to make something remarkable but she rarely enjoyed it with all the stress. Then there was her creative cooking, were she made easy taste food that calmed her and gave her time to think. Tonight's would be the third one, a simple steak dish she was making as a teen and perfected in LA. She seared off the steak and then cooked the potatoes and green beans. After everything was done, she had 5 minutes to change before raf could be showing up.

Felix ran back and put on her strapless backless bra and sexiest pair of panties she could find clean. She let her hair down, just slightly damp but curled softly to show off her red streaking. She was in the process of adjusting her chest in the deep vneck to give a little less of herself when there was a knock. 

"Just one second!"

She ran out to the door after making sure the dress was straight.opening it to find a Rafael with wine in his hands.

"You look beautiful fe."

"And you look dashing raf."

She kissed him and let him in, running to plate the food as he insisted on getting the wine poured. He pushed her in once she sat and took in the gorgeous looking food.

"It looks amazing," he cut a small piece as she smiled.

"Filet mignon wrapped in a honey coated bacon, spiced roasted potatoes, and garlic buttered green beans. Pairs great with red wine." 

Rafael took a bit and closed his eyes, savouring the taste, "it's absolutely delicious."


Rafael


 She blushed and kept taking small bites, She looks nervous. What's wrong? Why did she need to talk to him? He shifted so he could lean forward and take her hand that was resting on the table.

"You ok Felix?"

"Not really, I have to tell you something raf." She sighed and pushed the food away, "sonny came over to talk to me last night."

Raf looked down and quickly found his voice, "Fe, I have to tell you something first. Me and carisi talked yesterday."

"How'd that go?" She gave a worried look.

"Well he... He uhmm..." He shifted in his seat, "he said he felt betrayed and asked if we were sleeping togeth..."

"I... I'm so sorry, he never acts like this. I don't know what is going on with him."

"Fe, he... He said he still loves you and left angry."

Raf looked up as she squeezed his hand before getting up to clear the barely touched plates. Nervous cleaner I take it? 

"Raf, when sonny came over last night. He...He... Uhmmmm, he ki... Fuck. He kissed me." She turned away from raf ashamed as he walked over to her.

Does that mean she still loves him? Did she kiss him back? Is she breaking up with me? I haven't even said I love you yet.... Maybe I... I don't know.

"Fe, I understand if you wan..."

Rafael was cut off by Felix spinning around to kiss him, pulling back to cut him off, "no... Rafael, I don't love him like that and I want you. Don't go."

She tugged him close and blinked back the tears, his arms wrapping tightly around her. 


Felix


"Felix... He left after I told him I love you."

Felix's heart skipped a beat... Or six. Did rafel just say he told sonny that he... He loves me. Rafael loves me. Her mouth went dry, eyes out of focus, her body numbing as she stared at him, a soft little mouse of her usual voice came out.

"I love you Rafael."

She felt his arms tightened around her as he squeezed her tight and kissed him like it was the last time. Every nerve in her body lighting up as he lifted her onto the counter and continue kissing her more passionate then she could remember. Every inch of his ar.s and chest finding somewhere to touch her as the 'I love you' heated up quickly.

Felix felt lost, her brain kept drifting back to the memory of her and Sonny's first I love you... 


flashback


it was the end of summer, school was starting back up. Sonny had left for school at the normal time while Felix had to leave early to meet a teacher about a paper. Sonny hated walking alone, at least with lux there he could feel stronger and fight back... If she didn't defend him. Then came the moment he dreaded Bobby.

Felix

Felix was in her first period class when she got called to the office over the speaker. She ran up and almost screamed, sonny sat there bleeding with paramedics cleaning him up as he refused to go to the ER. The principal asked if she knew who did this and she of course said no. It was sonnys choice to me Bobby or not. But the principal asked her to walk him home since his parents weren't answering and as soon as they were away from the school she started in.

"What the hell did he do sonny?"

"He may have shoved my face through a plate glass window." 

"What! Sonny why didn't you tell!"

"Because I don't want to be a snitch, I don't want him to get in trouble... Just leave it alone lux."

"Sonny, this is to much.... You have to tell them." She called after him as he walked to his door.

"Why?" He unlocked the door and lux helped him up the steps to his room.

"Because."

"I need more then that."

"Because I love you sonny and I can't keep standing by and watching you being beaten bloody by Bobby and not tell someone!"

The room went quiet and sonny stopped at his door. Felix was almost in tears as sonny turned around and quickly wrapped her in a hug.

"Shhhhhhh, it's ok lux. I love you too.... I love you, don't cry." He squeezed her tight and she whimpered against his chest.

"Sonny... Please, I can't take this. Make it stop."

He kissed her head, "ok....Ok....I promise everything will be fine. This will stop."

It wasn't the first 'i love you' she wanted but it made her point. After all those years growing up together, they finally said it to each other and could finally say it without he heavy burden of scaring the other.... They finally could say I love you like they both did.


Present day


Felix pulled back from the kiss and put her hand to hold Rafael back, "I love you Rafi... I love you."

He smiled, "I love you too Fe... Let me prove it."

He lifted her up as her feet wrapped around his waist. He kissed her the whole way back to her bed. When he dropped her on The bed, she tugged him down on top her and rolled her hips against his. His hand barely holding him up as the other pushed her skirt up so he could rest down between her legs. She was almost panting just from the thought of what he was about to do.... No one has ever been half as good as Rafael at oral. She truelly pities any girl who ever been with him and left after having sex like this... They must be fools. 

First was the feel of his nose running up her thigh, soft kisses placed along the way. He lifted a leg over his shoulder and softly kissed her lips as they started to part. He licked up, swirling through and poking at her holes with his tongue. Her breath catching, as he moved up and sucked in her nub.

He removed his mouth and hummed in approval, "tú saber Asombroso (you taste amazing)."

She whimpered and he sucked in a finger, letting it out with a pop before returning to her. He lapped at her open lips before sliding a wet finger in her hole. Her head thrown back as she let out a loud moan. He works in a second finger and curles them up to hit her gspot, sucking in her clit as he looked up at her. She was lost in the sensation as her body shook and her hands gripped the sheets, letting out a broken moan as she came undone.

Rafael pulled back and kissed felix's almost bleeding lips, the teeth marks still visible around the plumped skin. She put her arms around his neck and he reached back to undo the dress. His hand gently guilding the dress over her head before she latched back on to his lips and deepened the kiss. His warm hands holding her to him as he sat up, her heart racing and eyes fluttering. She pulled back and swung her legs behind her giving a wicked smile before asking him to stand up. He obeyed and she slowly undid his pants, locking eyes with his. He sprung free and she kissed his head before licking up his legnth. 

"Feeeeeeelix," raf moaned as she took him in. 

She kept looking up at him, big doe eyed and hair tossed over to her left side. As if she was a porn star in that moment, every man's dream girl. 


Rafael


Rafael could barely look at her, she was to good at looking innocent. looks innocent, she definitely isn't innocent. he gasped when she shallowed and reached to grab his balls. Her hands were harm, soft, very gentle in the caress. Her finger, finding the sensitive spot between the balls at the base of his scrotum. That did it, his hips bucked forwards and Fe took it like a champ without choking. He pushed her back and watched the small string of saliva from where her lips left her skin. He pushed her back and kissed her, ignoring the taste of himself on her tongue. 

"Fe..." Raf started before she Interrupted, "top drawer in the red box."

He smiled as she continued kissing his neck and chest, his body stretching to grab the condom. He ripped the small foil packet and slid it on as she started rubbing against his body. He lined up and pushed in slowly as their lips reconnected, moaning into his mouth. 

"Color?"

"Green."

He started thrusting as her body moved up the bed with each thrust. He kept it nice and slow, drawing out each thrust before starting the next. She was far too tight for him to keep going, he need more self control. He could already tell this would be his problem with this relationship, self control. He hit his tipping point and screamed out as he came, her body clamping down and following to her orgasm.

The two laid there panting, their heads turned towards each other. He pulled out and rolled off the bed slowly to walk to the bathroom. He tied and tossed the condom in the trash can before wetting down two wash clothes. He wiped down and took the second one back to Felix laying in bed still. He wiped her up before tossing it to the side.

"We actually got the condom this time... We're getting better." Felix smiled.

"We really need to work on that though," he chuckled.

"I love you raf."

He rolled her over to his side, "I love you Fe."

The two dozed off, the words still ringing in their heads. 

Chapter Text

Felix stretched lightly, her body arched just a little before relaxing again. It had been four days since their 'i love yous' and the next day the squad noticed his mood. Sonny, according to raf, was basically ignoring him and everyone else made jokes to dodge the awkwardness. He told Liv all about it and she apparently told him to do what he believed was right... So he ends up in her bed naked yet again and on the day of a big court case that he had been stressing over.

 Raf was out cold, she rolled over and sighed, 10 minutes till his alarm. Well, I could wake him early.... Haven't done that in a while. She moved his arm from around her and slipped under the sheets. She licked her lips and bit them lightly to pump them up. She carefully kissed the head, softly as the morning wood bounced and he groaned from deep in his throat. Then she rested her tongue on his underside, slowly closing her lips around his penis. She dragged her teeth just a little and feels his body jump.

"Oh dear lord," he gasped and rubbed her back, "I don't have time for this Fe."

"I'm not stopping you," she purred and gave a devilish smirk after pulling away.

"Se burlan (you tease)... I won't fit in my trousers."

"That's not my problem." Fe got up and walked towards the bathroom whenever spoke.

"Cariño, a little help?"

"I thought you didn't have time." She called from down the hall.

"Sabes que amas mi tacto, mis suaves caricias ... la forma en que te llevo al orgasmo tan fácilmente. (You know that you love my touch, my soft caresses ... the way I take you to orgasm so easily.)" He bit his lip hoping fe wouldn't leave him, literally stiff.

"Raffffffiiiiii," she moaned from down the hall.

"Quicky?" He asked as she walked back and leaned on the door frame.

"You can't wait till after work?"

"Not with a body like yours."

She giggled and walked over and climbed on top of him, "quicky it is."

He ran his hands up her waist and kissed her chest as she grabbed a condom and rolled it on him. He moaned softly as he sucked in a nipple, her hand guilding him in. She pushed down and he gasped at how quick she went, she rolled her hips and peppered his neck and chest with little kisses.

"Like that?"

"God yes... More."

She nipped his neck as she lifted up and slammed back down. She repeated this a few times before his hands took her waist and started helping her as he thrusted up. Less then a minute later, he was filling the condom and she was kissing him down from his high as the phone alarm went off.

"Gracias por El semen papi." She pulled off and slipped the condom off him, "te amo raf."

He chuckled as he turned the alarm off and slowly got up, "I'm proud of how quickly your picking up Spanish."

"Me too, I guess your enough of a motivation for me to do my best." She stood Infront of her mirror in the bathroom making a face in the mirror as raf walked in.

He laughed, "te amo felix."


Rafael


rafael hugged Felix from behimd and slipped a hand down her stomach, his fingers grazing her core. She melted into him as he slipped in two fingers.

"Let me show you how much I appreciate it."

She nodded and let him go until her legs gave out a few minutes later. He lifted her up and carried her in the shower with him, kissing her as he leaned her against the wall.

"Sorry about forgetting the condom again."

She smiles as he pushed in and set a creeping pace as he felt her tightening. Her breath labored and body tense... She came almost immediately as he slowly set her down.

"You are definitely more then enough motivation for me." She purred as they kissed.

"Good, now I really do need to get to work."

She stepped out and left him to get ready as she cleaned a little. He kissed her goodbye and ran off to work. i could get use to this. I really could get use to this. 


A couple hours later after dragging through court, a witness didn't show and raf joined Liv, Amanda, and carisi. Carisi seemed on edge a lot more recently and that's when it happened. Carisi snapped at raf at the courthouse infront of people, raf got defensive... Both hitting their breaking points.

"I don't care if you understand, just find him now." Raf said and carisi turned around.

"You know what, we're gonna find this kid.
But don't you hang this on us. You lost that motion to suppress, not me."

"This again, Carisi?" Raf barely finished his sentence before carisi snipped again.

"I showed you a case with precedent that was directly on point."

"It was a Delaware case."

"That white supremacy group..."

"Was not applicable."

"Well, that's your opinion And that worked out great for us." 

Amanda pulled carisi away as raf looked at Liv. He could tell she was disappointed, this little divide was getting bigger because they couldn't talk without fighting. If sonny didn't just ignore him, he'd snapped at him. how the hell do you fix this?


Sonny


Sonny stormed out before Amanda stopped him.

"Hey, what the hell was all that about?"

"It was nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing." Amanda stopped him and gave him a questioning look.

"Listen, Amanda, I don't care about Barba.
All right, but I gave him a good case.
It would've kept the original confession alive.
And we wouldn't be in this position right now, where a rapist is about to walk."

"Sonny, this is about more then just this case. You can't even look at barba since you two talked after ezio's party."

He scuffed, "you know, don't worry about it."

"Sonny I have too," she grabbed his arm, "Liv isn't going to take this much longer. She is either shipping you or Barba out if you two can't work together."

"I work fine. He jus..."

"Your the one snapping at him and not acknowledging him. Sonny, you got to get a grip."

Sonny pulled away, he wanted to run away but that isn't a option. why the hell does he love her? Why does she love him? We were suppose to be together, we grew up as a couple and we're suppose to go till we were old and gray.


Felix


Felix got a text from Liv, she was inviting her and ez on a playdate with her, Noah, Amanda and Jesse tomorrow. It was Saturday and raf said he would be catching up on a little work, so she said yes. Raf texted her that night to check in since he was passing out at his place tonight. She told him the news and how ez was excited for that night, all he has been talking about is going to see wicked. When they finally hung up, fe smiled at the picture on her screen. The three of them in the park, she was against his side on the bench and Ezio held the his phone out from behind them and took a photo of the three of them. 

Felix woke up the next day, she got dressed and woke up ez to get ready. She pulled on jeans and a flowy tank top, haired pulled back in little curles. Ez came out in jeans and a shirt, his hair messy as she rolled her eyes. 

"Ready dude."

"Let's go."

They walked out with a smiled on their face, a beautiful spring day to be outside. They went to the park and seen liv and Noah waiting. They walked over and made small chat as Amanda showed up. They ordered food at a food truck and ate. Afterwards, Noah and ez went to play... The sight of ez being the big brother type was heart warming to the women. Liv volunteered to change Jesse for Amanda, she need to hit the restroom anyways. After she left, Amanda looked at her.

"So Felix, you and sonny use to be a item?"

"Yeah. Grew up together and we were born a month apart." She shifted, where is this going?

"Do you still love him?"

Felix choked on air, Not one to dance around the subject I take it.

"You know he still loves you."

"Yeah he told me... He also kissed me." Fe looked down.

"Well do you love him?" 

"It's complicated."

"When isn't it." She kept pushing, "would you ever consider taking him back?"

"Not while I'm with Rafael." this is getting very uncomfortable.

"What do you see in Barba anyways?" She shrugged, "he doesn't seem that interesting when all he does is work."

"What makes you think all he does is work?" ok now it's awkward and getting on my nerves.

"He is a ball of stress and only talks about work. Not much of a personal life from what he talks." Amanda shrugged, "almost always has a stick up his ass."

"Did you ever think you put it there."

That got her attention, she obviously wasn't expecting her to fire back.

She just smiled and carefully worded her sentence to hit hard, "I'm not the one leading him on with the dream of being a family again."

"I never said we would and I made it clear I didn't plan on it. I just wanted him there for Ezio."

"Not clear enough," Amanda shook her head, "he's pissed at barba and himself...  He's letting it get to him at work."

"And that's my fault?" Felix looked at her, "I played carisi's guardian angel growing up. But now he's a grown fucking man, he doesn't need me."

"He didn't get that memo."

"You know what, I'm done with this conversation." Felix looked away towards the kids.

"What could he have done? What was so bad you wouldn't even think to give him a second chance as a family."

"He never told you," Felix stood up and started towards the kids, "you won't get it."

Felix walked over and started helping Ezio and Noah build a sand castle. The whole time she thought of anything else to forget what Amanda made her remember. That one fight that changed everything in her life, the one mistake Felix will never forgive sonny for. She might still love him like a best friend and ever joke with him like they were kids, but she wouldn't give him a second chance as long as she remembered that fight.

Chapter Text


Ezio was starting to notice his mom and dad not talking. He also noticed dad didn't seem to like raf even though they work together. He decided he needed to fix that, so he schemed up a plan. With help from Avery and his mom, he called his dad and mom to have them meet at a dinner and hopefully talk it out. He schemed everything up and even set up for them to be alone for a few hours before mom would have to get ready for the show. 


Sonny


sonny walked into the small dinner, a text from Ezio asking him to meet him there to be picked up. He sighed and noticed Felix was sitting in a corner booth and the waitress, , jane, lead him back forcefully. 

"Fe?"

"Sonny?"

"Where's ez?"

"He said Avery was dropping him off here and asked me to pick him up. You?" 

Sonny stared blankly and she sighed, "he parent trapped us."

"He gets that from you," sonny joked as fe rolled her eyes, "maybe we should talk. I think that's what he wanted."

"Are you going to kiss me again?" It sounded slightly harsh.

"No. I want to talk, just talk." He sighed and sat down, "fe I... I shouldn't of kissed you like that. I just, I feel like I'm losing you more and more and I want to stop it."

''Sonny, we aren't together. I'm with raf... I love him."

He flinched just a little, "I just..  I... I really wanted us to try again."

"Sonny don't," she sighed, "it won't work between us sonny. We knew that when we ended it. We can't be together."

"Why?" He sighed, "why can't we try?"

"Because as much as I love you, I can't do it. It went to far for me to forgive completely and accept you back like nothing happened."

"You love him?"

She looked confused.

"Do you love him?"

She sighed and nodded, "yes. Very much so."

He nodded and closed his eyes, "I'll never stop trying you know."

"Yeah I know."

The two sat and ate a small lunch, the talk moving to softer subjects. They chatted about work and how sonny went to see his parents with Ezio. How her parents stopped in and it slipped about raf and now they want to meet him. She did get a little upset with that but they would've found out soon anyways, plus Ezio slipped and not sonny. After an hour, they parted with a hug... Finally back to their understanding best friends spot.


Ezio


Ezio sat in the living room watching TV when fe got home. She shut the door and gave him a look as he smiled.

"Hey mom, Change of plans. They took me home instead."

"You parents trapped me and your dad."

"Yeah," he gave a pathetic face, "I'm sorry."

She raised a brow at the slight mockery, "I shouldn't let you see wicked tonight."

"No,no,no... I'm sorry mom please," he almost dropped to his knees from the couch, "please, please!"

"But!" She cut off his begging, "raf already bought the tickets and it was for your birthday. Your lucky mister."

He nodded, "I'll go shower and get ready."

"Good choice," she sighed and fell back on the couch.


Felix


Felix sighed and slowly went back to get ready. She picked a beautiful cocktail dress for the night and caught ez on his way to his room to remind him to wear his suit. He rolled his eyes as she walked into the bathroom for her shower. She turned on the hot water and turned on her Bluetooth speaker to her date playlist. She started singing marry me by train as she showered.

What the hell was sonny thinking kissing me? Like that would just magically win me back? And my parents know about raf so I have to find time for him to meet them, which means they'll probably have to come here for dinner on night and embarrass the hell out of me.... Shit I have that lunch with his mom too. 

She finished the shower and went to her room to get dressed. She slipped on a tight black asymmetrical cut skirt dress, 3/4th sleeved, and a sweetheart neck line. She fixed the side that scrunched up and curled her hair while wet. Next was the make up, as usual she did a simple lipstick and a smokey eye, finished with a little eyeliner. She slipped on kitty heels and made a face in the full length mirror, just to check the make up was good. She heard laughing from behind as her eyes met ezio's in the mirror.

"I'll never understand girls."

"Good, your already smarter then half the men in the world." She turned towards him, "ok, let me hear it."

"You actually look very beautiful mom, not like a cheap date." He smiled.

"Ouch, I know I had horrible date outfits before but... Cheap? Really?"

"The Orlando guy in LA, it was pretty bad." He smiled, "good thing you don't dress like that with raf. He is a real man, like dad."

"Yeah you are still getting punished for that parents trap trick you did.... I just have to figure out what."

"So are you and Dad talking at least?" Ez smoothed out his pants as he sat on the bed.

Felix turned around and bent down to fix his poorly tied tie, "honey, me and your dad always talk. Sometimes we fight and talk less but we always talk."

"You two are best friends and I hate when you two fight."

"I know ez. We hate it too but, it happens." She shrugged.

"Do you fight with raf?"

"Not really but, that's because we are still getting to know each other and... It's complicated." She hugged her son, "stop asking questions I can't answer."

He laughed, "ok. It's almost time... You ready?"

"Of course," they heard a knock and ez ran for the door.

Felix laughed and walked out behind him, she seen the door opened and raf standing in his tux. They both turned as she walked in, raf's face lighting up.

"You look beautiful fe."

"And you look absolutely handsome." She kissed his cheek. 

"Come on, the show is almost starting." Ez rolled his eyes and took off.

She Sighed and took raf's hand, the two following the overly excited boy.


Ezio


After the show, raf took them to a dinner down the way where Felix slipped off to the restroom after ordering. Ez looked at raf, It's now or never. 

"Hey raf?"

"Hmmm?" He looked up at the boy across the way.

"Do you really love my mom?"

Raf smiled and said Thank you as the waitress brought there sundaes, "of course I do. Why?"

"Because she really likes you and I don't want to see you turn out like her and dad." He took a few bites as raf looked at him curiously, "they are close but they never spend a lot of time together without fighting."

"Everyone fight sometimes, it happens when your close to people."

"But they never fought before me."


Rafael


 

"It's not you ez," raf was racking his brain trying to explain it, "your not the cause of the fighting."

"Ain't I?"

"No, they aren't fighting because of you."

"Then why are they fighting?" Ezio looked up as raf stared, he had no idea how to answer that.

"Hey boys, don't hog the ice cream," Felix dropped down beside raf and took a small finger of whipped cream.

"Spoons work well you know."

"Yes, but my finger..." She took a little whipped cream and booped raf's nose, "works better for playing with it."

"Love you too Felix," raf wiped his nose, "now would you like a bite?"

Raf scooped up some ice cream, bringing the spoon to her lips as she smiled. She took the bite and then kissed his cheek. The rest of their desert went quickly, ez talking about wicked and how awesome it was. The whole way back to the apartment he was singing the songs, laughing as Felix got into defying gravity and broke away from raf to jump on a park bench and belt out the words as they chuckled at her. Raf lifted her down and kissed her before joining in on the next song. Raf watched as mother and son dueted for good, smiling at them perfectly in sync.

They get to her apartment and raf agreed to stay over, he didn't have work tomorrow and he could tell you were nervous about lunch tomorrow. Ez went to bed, raf laid down with fe in bed. The two curled up, sleep eluding them.

"Fe, are you nervous about tomorrow?'

"Yeah," she kissed his chest, "I'm beyond nervous about meeting your Mami."

He sighed, "she'll love you."

"Doubt it."

"If I love you, she will."

'Do you love me? I mean... I'm weird and have a annoying kid, I'm giving you a out now." She locked eyes.

"I want you, not out." He kissed her head, "stop worrying, you'll do go."

"Night raf."

"Night fe, get some sleep."

Chapter Text

It was late morning, the two love birds woke up intertwined to a knock at the door. Felix grumbled and gave a half yawned come in.

Ezio walked In and smiled, "can I go with Avery to the zoo? I know you had lunch planned and everyt..."

"Go dude. It's cool."

Fe smiled as Ezio cheered and yelled bye before running off. They heard the front door and smiled at each other.

"Morning amor."

"Good morning raf." She smiled as he kissed her forehead, "thank God we were wearing clothes."

Raf chuckled and felt a small pang in his stomach, not at the though of Ezio catching them as much as what he said last night. He thinks that he is the reason they fight. I need to tell her.... She needs to know. 

"We should get ready for the lunch." Felix sat up and stretched, "don't want to keep Mami waiting."

 "Still doesn't bother me," he chuckled before wrapping his arms around her waist and moving to sit behind her, "I love my Mami."

"God bless Mami boys." She kissed his cheek before slowly getting up as she removed his hands.

I should be happy. I have Fe, she's meeting Mami today, everything is going great.... But I feel weird. What is this nagging feeling? Is it because I haven't told her what Ezio said? I shouldn't tell her till after the lunch, she is nervous enough. No... It's the curiousity as to why they fight. He had over heard Amanda talking about fe the other day before she stopped quickly at his approach. He only caught a little bit it was something about a huge fight between fe and sonny. The reason they broke up and she wouldn't try again. He wanted to know what could've been that bad? But he didn't want to pry... The relationship was way to new for that.

He got up and walked to the bathroom, smiling at Fe naked making a face in the mirror fogging up. She noticed him and quickly hopped in the shower as he joined her.

"So how you feeling?"

"Not to bad.... Just nervous I'll fuck it up." She sighed as he kissed her.

He turned her around and started shampooing her hair as she leaned into the attention, "Mami will love you."

"Doubt it, people rarely like me."

"I love you, she'll love you... Don't stress."

"Easy for you to say, your not meeting my parents right now," she rinsed her hair and smiled as he immediately put in the conditioner.

"That'll come soon enough."

She reached behind him, giving a soft kiss as he grabbed his shampoo and put a little in her palm. She shampooed his hair as he laughed at her, she started to slid and he grabbed her quickly.

"It won't be that bad, they'll help you make fun of me when they aren't distracted by Ezio."

Raf rinsed fe's hair and kissed her forehead, "just relax, you'll be great."

The two finally make it out of the shower and start to change. Raf put on khakis and a pink polo, Felix chucking as he fixed his hair.

"What?"

"Nothing skipper."

Raf bit his lip holding back his laugh, "are you telling me I look like a sailor?"

"Or a rich boy that thinks croquet is a sport."

"I love you Felix, even if you pick on my style." He fixed his hair and smiled as Felix pulled on a little sundress.

"What? Not good enough for your Mami." she jested and flipped her hair forward to fasten the neck straps.

"No, that dress is kinda old school and a red version of the one Marilyn Monroe wore in that movie where her skirt gets blown up." He kissed her and ran his hands up her skirt to make it look like it was blowing up.

"Rafael, we have lunch with your mother in less then a half hour... We'll be late if we don't leave now." She smiled against his lips.

"She'll understand," he deepened the kiss and she pushed him off, "no, put on shoes. I have to dry my hair before we can go."

He rolled his eyes and put his shoes on as Felix came out a few minutes later. Her hair was a little curly and he just watched her slip on sandals. She looked up and gave a funny look.

"Raf? Earth to Rafi?"

"You look amazing Felix.... Muy bonito, absolutamente notable (very beautiful, absolutely remarkable)."

"Thanks. You look good to amor."

He took her hand and walked out to the waiting cab. The whole drive over she was fidgeting and playing with the dress. She asked if she should've picked a different dress and looked down at it frowning. She remarked that she looked silly and kinda like a teen trying to dress to look older. He laughed and reasuringly wrapped a arm around her, telling her how beautiful she was and kissing her head. They pulled up to the restaurant and raf helped her out, walking in hand and hand. 


Felix


the small coffee shop perfect for the meeting, very warm and inviting yet allowing Felix to stuff her face with sweets when things go wrong. Raf was holding her hand and lead her towards the back, a smile on his face as they approached a older woman with a cup of coffee sitting alone at a table.

"Hola Mami, te ves hermosa hoy (hello mom, you look beautiful today)."

"Gracias mijo (thank you son)." She stood and hugged him as he kissed her cheek, "Te ves muy guapo. (You look very handsome.)"

He pulled back with a smile and let his hand reach back for felix's again, "Mami, Esto es felix, mi novia. (This is Felix, my girlfriend.)"

Felix smiled and stretched out her hand, "hola."

 "Eres absolutamente hermosa, tan joven y bonita. Mi hijo tiene suerte de haberte encontrado. (You are absolutely beautiful, so young and pretty. My son is lucky to have found you.)" She pulled felix into a hug Instead of shaking her hand.

Her mind was racing, trying to place what she said....Only getting part of it and looking to raf to help her right now. He smirked and tapped his mom's shoulder.

"Mami, Felix no habla español fluido. Ella está aprendiendo y no puede escuchar tan rápido como hablamos (Felix does not speak fluent Spanish. She is learning and can not hear as fast as we speak)."

 "Oh, deberías haberme dicho. (You should've told me.)." She smiled and swatted raf's arm and turned back to Felix, "sorry, my name is lucia. Rafi has told me so much about you."

"Good I hope," Felix blushed and took a seat beside raf and across from Lucia.

"Would you like a drink cariño?" Raf kissed felix's cheek before running off to order, her nod telling him just how nervous he was.

Felixed looked at Lucia and she chuckled, "niña calm down." 

Lucia took her hand across the table, "you're doing good.... If Rafi likes you then your good enough for me."

Felix let out a sigh of relief, "oh thank God, I was scared I would fuck up." 

Felix covered her mouth as Lucia laughed, "He dicho peor chica tonta (I said worst silly girl)."

"My mom would slap me if she heard that." Felix chuckled.

"So where are you from girl? That accent is familiar."

"Staten island, born and raised."

"And rafi said you were a chef? Profession or Hobby?"

"Both, I work as a lunch chef at this restaurant off Broadway... But cooking is a passion for me."

"Good, Rafi loves his food and hardly eats because of his work schedule. Hopefully you could change that."

"He has been coming over often for supper, and he had trouble getting his pants on this morning." Felix chuckled with Lucia about that as raf came back with two cups and a chocolate turnover.

"Good to see you two getting along."

Felix kissed his cheek, "I hope that is for me."

"Of course it is," he handed her the turnover.

"Good, you eat that and those pants will never button." Felix and Lucia chuckled as he put his head down.

"Maybe this was a bad idea, you two getting along that well will only be bad for me."

"Oh come on Rafi, she hasn't even got to the baby stories or little raf stories." Felix smiled as Lucia looked over and started on some stories.

The three chatted for almost two hours before raf pulled Felix away, his mom giving her to much amo to use against him later. She said good bye and hugged Lucia tightly. Raf kissed her and promised to call soon before pulling Felix out to a cab. They were running off to her apartment, Felix curled against raf cooing to him how he was such a adorable child.


Rafael


 He combed his fingers through his hair, his eyes closing and taking a deep breath to stop from laughing or blushing. why did I have to introduce them? Now Felix will be talking to my mom constantly about my childhood and showing her the embarrassing photos. he turned to the beautiful woman and kissed her to stop her jokes. He pulled her out at her building and dragged her up the steps to her apartment. 

She giggled and kissed him as he opened the door, pushing him till he fell back in a chair and hopping on his lap to straddle him. She kissed his jaw, back to his ear and started to unbotton his shirt when she noticed he didn't seem to interested.

"Everything ok Rafi?"

"Of course," he faked a smile.

"Is this about the kid jokes because, I didn't mean t..."

"No that's fine."

"Then what?" She leaned back and gave a worried look, "did I do something else?"

"You didn't do anything cariño, it's just... I.... I don't know how to explain it." He sighed and put his hands on Her waist.

"It's ok raf, you can tell me. You know I'm obstinado (bullheaded)." 

He chuckled softly before locking eyes with her, "me and Ezio had a chat last night. He said he thinks he's the reason you and sonny broke up. Because he was born afterwards, right after."

Felix slumped and dropped her jaw, "wait he told you that."

"Yeah," raf had a pity full look, "I didn't know what to say and it's been bothering me all day. I just didn't want you getting nervous or anything worst before you met Mami."

"Raf, thanks for telling me. I guess I need to talk to him." 

Felix climbed off his lap and started picking up a few stray things, Nervous cleaning. He stood up and stopped felix's hand as she went to pick up something.

"Fe? You ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she shook her head, "ok no I'm not. What all did he tell you?"

"He just said you two had a huge fight right after you found out about him and he figures he was why you to don't try again." Raf turned her head to see his, "why?"

"He wasn't the reason, but... I never told anyone exactly why we broke up. I always said it was just because he didn't want me to move and I was moving anyways." She looked down.

Sighing, raf kissed her head, "cariño you don't have to tell me, but when you're ready I want to know. I'm here for you felix."

She smiled as she looked up, "I love you Rafael."

"Love you too Felix, now what do you want to do?" He watched her flinch back, she is shying away from affection? Felix? 

"Let's just order take out and watch some TV." She smiled and slipped from his hold to go grab her cell phone, "Chinese, Mexican, or indian?"

"Mexican sounds good," he smiled softly and found a cooking show on TV to watch as they cuddled up.

After the food was delivered, Felix started to get more comfortable. She cuddled up to raf and watched TV till Ezio got home. He watched how she seemed to jump or fidget when he attempted to be intimate and it wasn't because of Ezio being present. That night when he left she gave him a kiss and thanked him for the great day. He got home to find a text on his phone.

Felix

Sorry if I seemed distant after meeting your mom. What Ezio said just got to me. I know you don't know what Happened but I'm glad you are willing to give me time to figure out how to tell you. Thank you for being patient.

Rafael smiled and set his alarm, love you Felix... Of course I can wait. 

Chapter Text

It had been a few weeks since that night, Rafael still waiting to know why Felix and sonny did break up. He was getting more curious with each day he waited. He met her parents and listened to them embarrass her worst then his mom did to him, and constantly talk about her and sonny. He started getting the guilty feeling again before the curiousity sunk back in. He wouldn't dare ask fe anymore, he didn't want to ruin this good thing. Sadly, he could only hold it for so long.

Tonight was that night sadly. Rafael and Felix were at his apartment, Ezio with his grandparents so the two could be alone. Everything was going great, the night was perfect until that nagging feeling sunk in.... He needed to know why. So as the two sat making out on his couch, his tongue slipped.

"Felix, why did you and sonny break up?"

She paused and pushed back, "you really want to know right now? Seriously?"

 "Every since ezio and then us talking.... I've been curious. What could he have done that was so bad?" Raf realized how stupid it was after it left his mouth.

"I thought you said you didn't care.... That I could tell you when I wanted." She stood up, grabbing her jacket on the way to the door.

"Wait fe, can we talk about this?!"

"No! I'm not ready to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. You don't need to know why Rafael." She turned towards him, "this is between me and sonny."

"I'm sorry Fe, I didn't mean t...."

Fe slammed his door and ran down the hall to the elevator. Rafael stared at the door as he kicked himself for saying anything. what did you just do? he quickly grabbed his phone and tried to call and text her, nothing. He felt like chasing after her but he had wasted so much time..... Where could she be? Should I even chase after he now? Maybe I should give her some space and try later? He dropped his head into his hands as he sat on the couch, in moved since she had walked out his door 20 minutes ago. What have I done?


Felix


Who the hell does he think he is? He has no right to rush me. Felix ran down the streets, her feet carrying her as she barely could think of anything but how much she hated Rafael right now. It didn't matter that it was a simple question and that she should just tell him, no that would be simple and make her blow up unnecessary. So she let her feet carrying her to where ever they went.... To her surprise as she finally realized where she was, sonny's apartment. 

He is the reason I'm mad... Why am I here? She sighed and felt her pocket vibrate as her ringing phone broke her thoughts. She turned her phone off and hit the buzzer. Please be home. Please be home.

"hello?"

"Sonny...." Her mouth let out but couldn't form another word.

"Lux? Are you ok?"

"Sonny... C..c...can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course."

The door opened and she grabbed the handle quickly, her thoughts blocking out everything but sonny right now. She just needed a shoulder to cry on, he has always been her best listener... So why did it feel wrong? She pushed the uneasy feeling away and climbed his steps, time slowing as she reached his floor and door. The knock was soft, but he still heard and opened the door.

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, let her bottom lip free from her teeth, her face paling, eyes glossy as they start to water...  She tackled him as the tears fell. Sonny's warm arm embracing her shaking form, the safest feeling in the world while she is sad. 


Sonny


"What's wrong lux?"

"Me and Rafael are fighting." She mumbled in His chest.

"I'm sorry lux... It's ok. I got you now."

He kissed her hair and lifted her up gently, carrying her to his couch. He sat with her curled in his lap, she kept crying as he hugged and rocked her. what could they have to fight about? Felix is a strong woman, why would she breakdown like this if it was nothing? He shushed her softly and waited till she pulled back a little before he stopped. Her eyes locked on him, she leaned in just a little and Sonny's mind went blank except for one thing... Kiss her stupid. 

Sonny stole her lips and smiled as she kissed back after a small hesitation. Her arms wrapping around him as he slowly moved her leg to the other side of his, so she was straddling him. She deepened the kiss and started rubbing against his clothed legnth. 

"Felix... I..I..I.."

"Shhhhhhh, less talk."

Fe leaned back and pulled Sonny's shirt off him. He rested his hands on her waist as her top flew off behind them. Another kiss before she fell to her knees and pushed his legs apart, her hands undoing his pants. Sonny watched as she freed him and immediately took him in her mouth, causing him to moan loudly.

"Fuck.... Lux, right there."

She hummed and started working him over like it was second nature. He falling apart as she hit a groove and edged him.

"Lux...  Oh god..."

"Louder sonny, I want your neighbors to hear this."

She pulled away and kicked off her pants, tugging her underwear off and tossing them over the arm rest of the couch before climbing on top of him. He watched as she closed her eyes and guided him in her in one small drop. She didn't even look phased, starting at a hard pace that had sonny feeling dazed. 

This wasn't the Felix he knew, she almost seemed detached after he kissed her. He had seen this only once before and should've stopped her right there, this is how it went before they broke up for good.... Before she wound up pregnant and in LA alone. He should've pulled her off and made her calm down instead of letting this continue.... But it was his lux. The girl he loves more then anything and this is the first time in almost 10 years they had sex. He couldn't pull himself to break from her affection.

It had only been a few minutes when he broke and squirted inside her, screaming her name. She smiled victoriously and rode him till the last drop. She pulled off and kissed sonny again, his hands still holding her waist.

"Fe, you were... Wer...."

"I know." She sighed, "excuse me."

She ran to his bathroom, he heard a muffled cry and forced himself to knock.

"Lux, you ok?"

"No."

"I can..."

"No just..." She shook her head, "... Come in, I need more."

Sonny looked taken aback, Felix wasn't this. lux you aren't usually like this... What's wrong? Why can't I say no? Why do I feel like I have too do as you say? he opened the door and found her starting the shower, he undid her bra and kissed her neck.

"Fe..."

"Don't talk sonny, let your body do the talking."

She tugged him in behind her and she raced the wall, one hand reaching back to stroke him before lining him up. He covered her hands with his and pushed in, moving with her to as she pushed back. 

"Faster. Harder."

Sonny bit his lip and took her waist, trying to do what she asked. Her head fell back against his shoulder as he finally hit her sweet spot. His hands moving her with him, his own semen spilling out as they fucked in the shower. Sonny felt numb, but before he could do more then cum again... She pulled off with tears streaming down her face. She kissed him and hugged sonny.

"I...I...I... What's wrong with me?" She leaned into sonny, "what the hell is wrong with me?"

 "Nothing is wrong with you. Just calm down lux." Sonny sighed and slowly carried her to the bed, laying with her as she whimpered. 

I finally get Felix back in my bed and it doesn't feel right... She just keeps crying and won't look at me. This is more harm then good isn't it? What's wrong? Why is she acting like this? What the hell kinda fight did they have for her to me here with me and not acting like herself? Sonny spooned Felix as she cried herself to sleep. His mind racing with how to proceed, if they were together or she was using him...  He finally felt sleep tug at him, dragging him along to a restful slumber. 


Rafael


It had been almost a hour he just walked around, he secretly hoped fe was doing the same and he could bump into her to talk. Unfortunately, his hope fell flat and he was left standing outside her building. If she went anywhere, it would be here right? She would want to be alone and wouldn't bother with any public setting... But maybe she might ha... Rafael shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. Stop. No. Don't think about that. Focus on what to say to fe, to apologize for something you didn't even knew you did wrong. Come on.... Be home. Please be home.

Rafael pressed her button, no answer. He pressed Amy's button and let out a sigh of relief when she answered. 

"Hello?"

"Amy it's Rafael. Is Felix home, she wasn't answering?"

"Sorry she hasn't been home since you three left. I thought she was staying with you tonight."

"Yeeeaaahhh." He sighed.

"You two are fighting, aren't you?"

Raf didn't reply as she did for him, "come on up and talk about it... You know, so I don't have to hear about the guy waiting outside our building and feel guilty."

He smiled, "thanks."

The door opened and raf walked up the steps and stopped at her door and sighed. The door just down they way opened and Amy stepped out motioning him in.

"Tea or coffee?"

"Coffee thank you." Rafael stepped in and sat down on a bar stool watching as Amy made the tea, "where's Avery?"

"His dad's parents. They take him for a week here and there."

Raf nodded as she gave him a look, "now what did you do?"

"I'm not sure really."

"Ok tell me what was happening."

"This kinda..." Raf sighed and made a awkward gestured.

"I get it. But think of it this way, I know Fe better then most people, I know everything about her and sonny and everything else." She sat down a cup of coffee, "I can help you understand it."

"Well, me and Fe were...." He stretched it out to find the words.

"Don't worry about it, I get what you meant."

"Ok so I know where I went wrong.... I just don't know why." He took a drink and sighed, "I asked why her and sonny broke up."

"Well that's a mood Killer." She shook her head.

"I didn't think she would flip like that."

"It wasn't the question rafael, it's the reminder of what happened."

"Yeah, we got drunk on night and she told me." 

"What Happened?"

"That's for her to tell you. Just give her time, it wasn't easy for her to tell." Amy sighed and rubbed her mug softly, "she won't be home tonight you know."

He nodded, "how do I fix it?"

"Tell her your sorry and stop asking."

"Thanks Amy," he stood up, "could you let me know if she comes home."

"She won't but yes." Amy patted his shoulder, "go home and sleep... Try again tomorrow."

Rafael nodded and left for his apartment again, firing off a text for Felix.

I'm sorry Fe, can we please get coffee or something and talk this out? I don't need to know, but I do need you.

He sighed as he opened his door, going to bed and praying Felix would at least talk to him tomorrow. Maybe a text.


Felix


felix woke up stretching, a soft smile as she felt arms tightening around her. Then her eyes opened and she was met with the wrong room... This was sonny's place not raf's. She sighed and pulled away slowly, rubbing her head trying to remember what happened, then it hit her. Raf asking about her and sonny, her running out angry, showing up at Sonny's apartment... The sex. She bit her lip and walked away to find her pants and jacket, feeling out her phone e finally and turning it on. Her heart dropping, five missed calls and seven texts from Rafael.

Fe I'm sorry.

 

Fe talk to me please.

 

I'm sorry, I don't need to know.... Just come back.

 

Can we please talk this out.... I'm sorry.

 

Please come back, please.

 

I really want to to talk this out Felix, please.

 

I'm sorry Fe, can we please get coffee or something and talk this out? I don't need to know, but I do need you.

Felix wiped away a tear, pulling on her clothes and tugging her hair back out of her face. Sonny walked out and seen Felix about to leave, he couldn't just let her leave.

"Lux wait, you can't leave now."

"Sonny I got to go... I have to fix this."

"But what about last night?"

"It was a mistake sonny, we both kno...."

"Felix don't say it. Please don't say it." He walked over and put his hands on her shoulders as she shrugged back from his hands.

"Sonny, we'll never work. We both know it. I love you but I can't do it, I can't let that happen aga..."

"It won't happen again! It was a mistake, a single bad choice." He pleaded, his eyes filling with tears, "lux come on, we could be a filter again. You came to me when raf hurt you..."

"Raf didn't hurt me. You did sonny. He asked a question and I over reacted.... He did nothing wrong, I did." She sighed, "he would never lay a hand on me."

"Lux please, that wa..." Sonny pleaded as his tears fell, "was a mistake. One mistake. We could make it work.... I promise it will never happen again."

"Doesn't matter sonny, it did happen. All it takes is one time..... You know this." She opened her door and turned away from him, "bye sonny, see you later when I drop off Ezio."

She shut the door and swore she heard sonny punch the wall. Her heart racing as she walked away with her phone in hand. Her fingers typing out a message she should've sent last night... But instead, she made a mistake and had to confess more.

I'm sorry Rafael, I over reacted. Can we please talk? 

She held her breath as her phone took a minute to vibrate.

My place or yours? I'll bring the food.

She smiled, God I made the wrong choice last night.... Please forgive me raf. She left Sonny's building, trying to figure out how to tell raf she slept with sonny and their dark secret... To finally feel free.

Chapter Text

Felix stood by her stove making tea, within the next ten minutes raf would be here. She promised to tell him everything. Which left her worried, she never told anyone everything... Parts yes but not everything.  She changed into a pair of leggings and his oversized hoodie that she basically stole from him at this point. A cup of tea in hand and a fresh pot of coffee just finished, she sat in her reading chair and mentally prepared herself.

A soft buzz stole her attention and she opened the downstairs door and waited for his soft knock. It came soon, but not as quickly as usual. Was he angry? I did blow up on him and leave him confused.... God how will he react? her thoughts were interrupted by a second knock.

"Hey fe, can I please come in?"

She swallowed and opened the door, "sorry. Of course you can."

He stepped in with a bag of takeout and her heart stuttered. He sat the food on the coffee table and fetched him a cup of coffee. He watched her movements, looking for nervous habits but finding something else.... Numbness. He waited till she sat down.

"Here, fresh brewed... Cream and sugar."

"Thank you." He reached over and took it, letting one hand rest on hers, "are you ok?"

"Just a mixture of nervous and relief."

Raf took her hand and made her look at him for the first time since he walked in, "you don't have t...."

"I do." She Interrupted, "you deserve the truth."

He nodded, "don't rush it. It'll only feel worse then if you waited."

"No.... No this is the right time. I just..." She smiled ever so softly, "I love you rafael, I just...." Her head dropped down to look at the couch between you two, "I... I just don't... I don't know how you'll react to everything."

"Hey, it'll be fine." He slipped a hand over her cheek and lifted her head, "I promise we'll be fine. Just go slow cariño."

She nodded, "raf... You know last night I. .... I was at Sonnys."

He nodded, "I checked everywhere but there."

Her heart broke at that sentence, Everywhere? He looked for me after I left and knew where I went? 

"Well I... I... I slept with sonny." She watched his face as he held in what looked like anger and bit his lip.

"Somehow I knew but...." He just stopped the sentence and she leapt to finish.

"I was just so angry and needed comfort... He... He always was my comforting shoulder to cry on. I don't know how it happened but, but the whole time I was wishing it was you. I hate myself for it but I just started crying and passed out and woke up to see his place and not yours and regretted everything." She let out a small whimper as she shivered, his hand still holding hers tight, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. Please forgive me Rafael."

"It's ok Felix, I forgive you....Hey, hey ,hey." Felix leaned in and cried on his chest as he held her, softly shushing her and humming.


Rafeal


Rafael hummed to softly trying to comfort felix. Whether she cheated or not, he couldn't stand to see her cry. it was a mistake... made out of anger. we were fighting.... But we're we really? Rafael sighed and rocked fe a little as he rubbed her back.

"It's ok."

"No it's not." She mumbled as he lifted her head and wiped the tears.

''It is."

"But it isn't... I cheated. I technically cheated on you." She mumbled about some of the things and how she cried herself to sleep.

"It's ok, don't worry about it right now. I just want to know your ok." Raf kissed her cheek.

"Well, I'm not. I haven't been in a long time." She pulled back to the corner of the couch and brought her knees to her chest, "I'm broken."

He slid over just enough to rest a hand on her knee, "mi amor, is this the sonny thing? I don't have to know."

"You do, you deserve to know." She let out a shakey breath, "I love you raf, I don't want to lose you."

He nodded and brushed away a few stray hairs, "cariño, I'd never leave you over that."

"I wouldn't be so sure." She closed her eyes, "I have plenty baggage."

"Then go ahead and tell me, I promise I won't leave."

"Well it started back when me and sonny were young. He got into college and I found a job to save up money since culinary school is expensive." She sniffled, "I got in these little competitions and challenges, even made the paper a few times since I was only 21. After turning 22, I got a job offer that was to perfect. I would study at a five star restaurant, they pay for schooling at the Harvard law of culinary schools, pay for all moving costs for me and anyone moving with me, and helped to find a suitable living facility before the move."

"That's amazing."

"Yeah, but it's why we started fighting." She wiped a tear, "for two months, we fought off and on about this opportunity. I couldn't turn it down but didn't want to leave sonny. Sonny wouldn't leave New York City, much less the state... So one night he took a jab that made me pull the trigger on the offer. He told me he couldn't leave for my silly chance of being a 'chef'... I wouldn't make much and he didn't want to live broke in LA. I know it was out of frustration but it made me so angry I took the offer."

"Why wouldn't you? Something like that is close to a miracle." Raf watched Felix nod.

"Exactly, then I had to tell sonny." She bit her lip a second, "he looked so heartbroken... Then he snapped at me. We fought over the relationship and when I told him I was moving three days later, everything went down hill. It was a screaming match, and I pushed sonny away. He shoved me and I slammed against the mirror. Of course it shattered and I ran to the bathroom as he apologized. I have scars still, just small ones down my back but still. Less then a minute later it was turning to make up sex."

Raf gave a surprised look, trying to figure out were this was going.

"The heat of the moment, taking out our anger in a different way....He moved so fast, hard. I barely could focus and I couldn't take it. I said no. After it started, after we were in to deep... I said stop." She swallowed and looked away from raf.

"He didn't." Raf closed his eyes after seeing her soft twitch.

"No. He kept going. I didn't fight much, I wasn't in the position to end it. So after a few minutes, he was done and I was crying. I couldn't process it, he couldn't.... We both laid there in the same bed with what felt like miles between us, trying to figure out what Happened. Nothing said about it, we ended with I love you before we fell asleep but, I woke up in the middle of the night and slept on the couch. The next day we didn't talk about it, we pushed it away and acted like it was fine until I was leaving." Her eyes watered, "I felt so scared. The broken mirror and little cuts... The.." she shuttered instead of saying it, "I couldn't believe it. Then a month later, I found I was pregnant."

"He...He r...."

She interrupted, "no! Don't say it."

"Felix, he.. "

"no he didn't! He wouldn't..." She looked at raf, "it was a accident."

some accident... How can he work sex crimes and do something like that? Raf reached over and pulled fe in for a hug, "hey, hey...... I'm sorry. Just please stop crying.... I got you, I'm here for you....Always."

Fe curled up in his arms and smiled, "I love you raf. I'm sorry I love..."

"Don't worry about it." He squeezed her, "let's eat and I'll see you after court tonight."

She nodded, "sounds good." She wiped her nose as he let her go, "what did ya get me?"

He chuckled and unpacked the food, talking to Felix about anything that came to mind. The two had a good morning/lunch before Rafael ran out for his half day of work. He finally knew what happened with them and understood her reason for the fight. A small part of him felt bad for disapproving of her refusing to call it what it was... Rape. But none the less, he felt happy about fixing things with fe and made the best of it.


Raf had just left the courtroom to find the squad waiting, congratulating him on winning the case. But for some reason, he couldn't help but look at carisi... Don't do it. You'll regret this later. Raf walked over to sonny.

"Hey can we talk?" He motioned down the hall and carisi walked with him.

"Sure what's up councilor?"

"Felix told me what happened. She told me everything." He bit back the urge to yell at carisi.

"She came to my place. She started it... She never told me to stop and spent the night. Sorry you two were fighti..."

"Not last night." 

Carisi froze, a clear fear taking over his face before he walked to a side room and threw out the paralegals so they could talk."Wait a minute, What did she tell you?"

Raf shut the door and looked to carisi, "everything.... Tell me it's not true."

Carisi looked away, "it was a accident. She even says it's a acc. ..."

"That wasn't a accident, carisi that is the details of a case we would prosecute!"Barba wasn't hold back his anger now.

"You weren't there, you wouldn't know."

 "She gave me details... How the hell can you work this job after doing something like this." Raf stood beside the table crossing his arms.

"It's the reason I do this job!" Carisi looked away, "I hate myself for that night. I swore it was a mistake and when lux refused to acknowledge it, I let it go with her but hated myself. I wanted to fix it but you can't fix that."

Barba tapped the table with a pointed finger, "you Raped her carisi." He put extra emphasis on that word, to make sure carisi understood.

"You think I don't know that! I didn't mean too and I try everyday to fix it."

"It doesn't work like that carisi. She got pregnant with Ezio because of..." 

Carisi's eyes went dark, "don't you dare go there. Leave my son out of this, he doesn't need to know any of this."

"He thinks he's the reason you two aren't together! He told me he thought fe being pregnant with him was why you two broke up and she moved across country." Barba wasn't backing down.

 After every time he watched fe change around him because she remembered what carisi did, the look on ezio's face thinking it was his fault, or the way carisi tortured raf when he found out they were dating and made him feel guilty.... Barba felt like they were his family and he wasn't about to let this go.

"It's not true."

"Then talk to him... I'm not the one that can tell him anything. As you so clearly like to point out, I'm not his father. But I plan on being around for a long time." Barba glared.

"Felix will get tired of you, she always gets tired of "the flavor of the month". No guys last longer then a few months." Carisi rolled his eyes.

"Flavor of the month taste better then you." Raf smirked, "she says it plenty."

Carisi broke at that and got into barba's face, "just cause she says I love you doesn't mean she always will. She'll get tired of you like every other guy. Then you'll just be a after thought as she moved on back to me."

"You still think after that she would go back to you? What did she tell you this morning when she left to see me?"

Carisi glared, "doesn't mean it's true."

"But it is carisi. Think about last night, how did she act? Was she different? Did she cry a lot or does that just turn you on!"

Carisi swung at Barba, nailing his cheek and raf shoved carisi away as he tried to regain balance. The door flew open as carisi hit the floor, the security guards keeping them apart as Liv walked in with fin. Fin watched Barba as Liv pulled carisi out and Amanda escorted him out. The guard let go and fin put a hand on his shoulder, looking at the already bruising cheek.

"What the hell was that?"

"A mistake." Barba huffed and rubbed his cheek, "can't believe he punched me."

"Why were you to fighting?" Fin was gifted with eye contact but a lame excuse, so he tried again, "it's about Felix ain't it?"

Barba looked down and fin told the guard to go, "come on let's go."

"Where?"

"To your office. We need to chat while Liv chews out carisi."

He followed fin out and suddenly became aware of how loud things must've been, as the hall of bystanders were staring. He had a feeling this we're getting worst before they could get better now.

Chapter Text

Fin walked Barba back to his office and locked the door. Barba sat down and took a deep breath, apologize... Say sorry and hope he doesn't actually talk... he sighed and straightened up, his mouth opened and fin shot him down.

"Listen, I get it. Love can make people do crazy things... That's half our jobs. But I have two simple rules to make the job easier. One is you can't take this job home with you. Two is you can't take anyone from this job home with you." 

Rafael sighed, "how does that apply to me?"

"You just made a third one. Don't start fights with people at work."

"I thought that was obvious." Raf deadpanned.

"Yet you broke it." He sat down across from him at his desk, "what happened?"

"We talked. We yelled. We fought.... Then we actually fought."

"Seriously councilor, I never seen you like that." Fin looked at him, "this thing between you and carisi has gone to far. Why did he punch you?"

"I can't tell you." Raf tipped his head back, "technically I shouldn't of said anything to carisi either."

"So it is definitely about Felix. What is it?"

"I can't..."

Fin stopped him, "you need to talk to someone impartial. It's not like I'm gonna tell anyone and do you really want Liv to hear it first."

"Your right, but I can't." He looked at fin, "it's not mine to tell."

 "I think you became part of it when carisi punched you." 

"I was out of line, and should've let it go." Raf thanked Carmen who handed a small bag of ice in before fin locked the door again.

"Say that to your black eye." He shook his head, "someone has to fix this rift between you two or one of you go."

Fin stood and went for the door, raf sweating as he thought it through. he's right. Unbias ear to the issue, it never leaves the room..... Maybe he can talk to carisi too. I sure can't. Shit... 

"Nothing leaves this office?"

Fin stopped by the door, "ok."

"All hypathetical?"

"Sure," fin turned around.

"Sit down... I'll tell it all and hope Felix forgives me." Raf sighed.

"Sometimes when you love someone, you have to go against their wishes to help." Fin sat down, "go ahead councilor."


Sonny


Sonny sits in the back of the SUV, Liv upfront and Amanda going to break. The stoney silence scaring sonny as he thinks about the secret that is slowly spreading through the squad. His whole career seemingly falling apart and law career iffy as well. He couldn't break the silence.... Bit Liv sure could.

"What happened back there?"

"A disagreement." Sonny looked at his hands, the memories of all the time he was in the principal office flooding back.... Only Liv was worst then the vice principal.

"And you punching Barba?"

"A mistake."

"Good to know you think so. Why did you do it?" Silence.... She sighed, "talk to me. I need to know what the hell I am looking at here."

"I just assaulted a ADA during a argument. I feel like I'm looking at a suspension at least, if not a transfer." His voice Shakey.

"What was the argument about?"

More silence as Liv turned and looked at her detective, "fine. Go to your desk and stay there until I decide what to do. Amanda will be back soon. I need to chat with fin and Barba."

She started to open the door, he swallowed the best he could with his dry throat, "I'm sorry lieu."

"Just go... And no more talking to barba."

Sonny nodded and got out, deciding that a walk would clear his head. His heart racing with every step.... Every step towards his demise as he seemed to already know was there. He knew he was done for by the way Liv couldn't look at him... Or he couldn't look at her. One talk with Barba and I'm screwed... This is it, I'm done. 


Liv


Oliva waited only a few minutes for fin to emerge and get in. He sighed, starting immediately to her surprise.

"Barba told me everything."

"Is this still about Felix?"

"A little more then that." He looked over, "I can't explain but...This isn't a easy fix."

"Since you know the situation, can you talk to carisi? I sent him on a walk back to clear his head."

"Sure. What are you thinking Liv?"

"I think I need some help... Talk to sonny and I'll make a call. Hopefully, I can let you know where they can talk this out at."

"I'm not sure if they can."

"They have too," she looked over, "I can't lose either one right now."

Fin nodded and hopped out, heading back to the squad as Liv told him. She pulled her phone and found the number. A soft breath as she pressed send and her eyes closing on answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey felix, it's oliva... We need to talk."

"What happened? What did they do?"

It was as if she seen the scene with them, "can I come over and we talk? I think I need your help on this one."

"Sure. I get off in ten if you want to pick me up we can talk on the way... I'm assuming you need me to come to them.... Right?"

"Yeah." She checked the time, "be there in eight. You don't have Ezio do you?"

"No, he's with his friend till eightish."

"Good, this talk might take a while." Liv opened her eyes and ended the call with a quick bye.

This is either a mistake or the best option... I guess I can only hope for the best.

Chapter Text

Felix got in with oliva, her head immediately looking out the window, "what happened?"

"Carisi punched barba. Didn't go much further before we broke it up."

"They aren't talking are they?" 

"Not really."

Felix looked over, "you want me to talk sense into them. Think I could really resolve this issue?"

"Well... You couldn't hurt it." Liv shrugged.


Sonny


Fin walked into the precinct, over to carisi and pushed his shoulder lightly to get his attention, "we need to talk."

"Lieu already talked to me."

"Yeah but she doesn't know the whole story, barba told me everything." 

Fin watched carisi tense and nod, following him to Liv's office to talk in private. The whole way it was quiet, niether daring to break the silence until they knew they were alone. Once the door shut, fin leaned on the desk and looked at sonny plopping on the couch holding his head.

"How much did he tell you?" Carisi squeaked out.

"Everything." Fin took a deep breath, "I'm not here to judge you. I am just here to make sure you don't do anything stupid again."

"Good to know." He sighed, "Liv already said it was bad, but how bad?"

"You two had a good audience. Liv is just trying to fix this before the chief fixes it for her." 

He nodded, "so what's the plan?"

"Liv is going to make you and Barba talk this out. I wouldn't be surprised if she locked you two in a room until it was fixed." Fin walked over to sit beside carisi, "listen, I get it. You still love her but she obviously isn't looking to get back with you. She seems happy with Barba... What does your son say?"

"He likes him. Says he's nice and that he treats Felix good."

"Then is it really so bad? I mean if you two can't be together, don't you at least want her to be happy?"

"Yeah fin, I want that but.... That's not the issue." Carisi looked over, "it's the fact that he started a fight over the worst night of my life..."

"He didn't seek out a fight. You hit him first... And the last words said are about Felix before you hit him." Fin watched carisi look away, "I get it, ex's are hard. Especially with kids involved. But you can't bring this to work."

"I know.... But Everytime I see him, I see him and Felix being happy and I just want to shot him." Sonny run his hands through his hair, "how do you fix that?"

"Talking." Fin stood up as his phone rang, "one second."

Fin answered the phone and talked to Liv for a moment before hanging up and motioning sonny up, "come on, we gotta go."

"Where?"

"Barba's office, now come on."

The two rushed out the door and back over to barba's office. Walking in, sonny and Barba had the same looks on their face... A mixture of anger, confusion, and worry. Fin motioned sonny in and Barba took a breath before speaking.

"So we're just suppose to talk this out? Are you the mediator?"

"No I am." Everyone looked at the door to see Felix, "now let's have a nice long chat."


Felix


Felix walked in and dropped her bag on the table, smiling at fin, "I think I got it from here, but do come running in if you hear screams for help. I don't need the murder charge."

Fin nodded and left, closing the door. She turned towards sonny and pointed to a chair before pointing to the other one and motioning raf there. They obeyed and sat down, she hopped up on the edge of his desk and leaned forward.

"So, who wants to start?"

Sonny cleared his throat, "you told him about the incident."

"Yeah I did."

"Why?" Sonny looked up to her.

"Because it happened and nothing can change that. And if I can't be truthful with him how are we suppose to have a healthy relationship."

Raf looked at sonny, "carisi i..."

"Don't even want to hear it." Sonny snapped.

"Hey, no. No interrupting each other." Felix scolded and both men quickly sat back, feeling like they were in the principal's office.

"Carisi, I know this is hard on you but... I can't work like this. Screaming matches, fighting... It's interfering with everything." Raf looked over, "I want to fix this. We need to work together."

"Sonny?" Felix prodded his leg with her foot softly.

"I feel betrayed. That was a private thing and you told him... And he told fin. That was my biggest mistake in life and I regret it daily but I know I can't fix it." Sonny looked at raf, "and you asking to talk in private about it wasn't very helpful."

"It does sound like a attack raf." Felix looked at him before asking, "what was your goal from doing that?"

Raf looked up, "I wanted to understand it. He works sex crimes, and that happened... And what Ezio said. I was hoping to get him to understand that Ezio was seeing all this too and needed to know it wasn't his fault."

 "Stop talking abo...." Sonny was cut off mid rant by Felix snapping at him.

"sonny stop! We aren't gonna yell and berate each other." Sonny looked down as Felix finished, "Ezio is your son, but he also has raf because we're dating. Did I know ez felt that way? No. Am I glad he told someone and we have a chance to fix it? Yes. And I do believe that it needs to come from both of us, its the only way to make sure he's ok."

"I know... But, I..." Sonny looked up, "do we seriously have to talk like this?"

"Anything you say to me, raf can hear. Work with me here sonny." Felix made sonny keep eye contact, "talk to me... Talk to him."

"We're the parents lux."

"And as long as I'm with raf, he is a parent too." 

"I'm not trying to intrude carisi. Trust me I wish this was less complicated." Raf sighed, "but it's our reality. Which means we need to find a way to make it work."

"So your saying, that this is three-way parenting. That it now becomes a group effort in raising our son?" Sonny sighed knowing what was about to be said.

"Yes." Felix made sonny look at her, "I love raf. I love him and as long as he is in my life, ez is going to see him and you can't fight that."

"Fine... I don't like him being a father to my child and I can't stand anyone else being with you. I know you don't want to try again but... I feel like I need a second chance. Like I have to prove it was a one time thing. Like if I can be a great dad that it could fix things." Sonny looked at raf, "it's hard enough competing against him for ez's attention when Ezio constantly talks about the fun you guys have. Raf took us to the park, raf got us wicked tickets, raf met grandma and grandpa.... Raf took us to lunch at a expensive restaurant."

Raf looked down biting his lip, holding back something. Felix watched sonny closely as he snipped at raf, trying to let him Express himself without bulling raf.

"He talks about him like a god. I barely been able to see him until you came back and then shortly after that you started dating him and, well, I feel like I'm competing for the role of dad with my own son."

"Your his dad, he knows that. He loves you." Felix jumped down and hugged carisi, "he really loves you. He always will but just think about if you find a girl and then I have to deal with it. It goes both ways."

He nodded and Felix pulled back, after looking at a sad raf. She leaned over and kissed his cheek, "go ahead and speak, I know you have something you want to say."

"No I'm good," he rolled his shoulders back, "are we done now?"

"I maybe younger then you, but I wasn't born yesterday. What's eating at you?" She rested her hand on his shoulder, "and don't say nothing. I know you better then that, I know both of you better then that."

"I'm not trying to replace you as his father, I'm just trying to be there for him. If we work out well, I don't want to have to build a relationship with him where he resents me because I'm stopping you two from being together. I want Ezio to know it's not just about me and Fe." Raf put his head back and closed his eyes, "and Everytime you say something about me or act like I don't exist with him standing there he sees it and it bothers him. I don't want him to feel like he has to chose between us too."

"Too?" Sonny scuffed, "lux done picked. I lost. You both make that very clear."

"Sonny..."

Sonny cuts off Felix, " no, I can't do this. I can't. After everything he said earlier and done today.... I'm done. I act professional at work but fuck him outside of it." 

Sonny got up and went to leave, stopping by the door, "you know lux, I thought you did good when you picked someone like him. Thought I didn't stand a chance. Truthfully I guess he isn't much different."


Rafael


 Carisi slammed the door and walked out with fin trying to stop him. Felix shook her head and told fin to forget it.

"We'll have to talk again later. Once he cools down." Felix turned around to look at raf, "do you want to finish this now or later?"

"What?"

"Your going to tell me everything said during your fight."

Raf sighed, Why do I feel ten again? This isn't what I meant when I joked she made me feel young again. He stretched his arm back towards his office and Felix walked in waving bye to fin who was going to report back to Liv. He asked Carmen to make him a copy of a few files so he could work at some point today before stepping in and locking the door. He sat beside Felix on his couch, hands folded as if to say a small prayer before he just started.

"I told him I knew what happened. He started with it was an accident and I told him it was a case we would prosecute. I asked how he could do the job after that and he said it was the reason he did it. Said how he keeps trying to show it was a one time thing and win you back. I told him it doesn't work that way because you got pregnant with Ezio because of it and he bit my head off with how I shouldn't talk about his son. I gave him a little of what ez said and things went down hill fast." Raf paused, unsure whether to push or let it go before the part of the fight.

"And?" She covered his hand and stroked his fingers softly.

"I told him I planned on being around for a long time and he said you would get tired of me. Quote 'she always gets tired of the flavor of the month'. Unquote." Raf slowly looked over to her soft eyes, "and I might have... Well.... I might have said Flavor of the month taste better then you, she says it plenty."

She bit back a laugh as he bowed his head, "of course he said you'd get tired of me and go back to him so I kinda pushed him over the edge ...  Telling him you'd never go back to him because he hurt you and well..... I asked if he even paid attention last night or does he get turned on by crying girls."

Her face dropped, "raf...."

"That's when he punched me and I pushed him off before the guards kept us apart." He couldn't look up now, "I know it was a cheap shot but he pressed the wrong button. I was just trying to get a rise out of him since he was getting it from me."

"I would've punched you too." She whispered, "god you deserved that."

He frowned, "I know."

"Look at me." She said softly, "raf." Came out a little sterner as he looked at her, "I still love you.... And not just because I couldn't find a better tasting flavor of the month if I tried."

He chuckled and smiled as she leaned in for a kiss, "god I love you fe."

"Good, cause I'm not going anywhere." She stole his lips and melt into his kiss before pulling back, "unless you are willing to have office sex, we should stop here."

"Fair enough.... But," he ran a hand up to caress her face, "I really want to.... If it weren't for the fact I do actually have to work today."

"Ok, see you tonight at my place? Ez will be out at nine or eight depending on how long he plays with Avery." She stands up and waits for him to do the same so she could hug him, "Just don't make me scream and remember to lock the door."

He smiled, "deal."

"Good.... I get to have a small lunch before I track down sonny and fix this mess completely." She pulled back, "see you soon sexy."

"Later Felix." He waved as she walked out past Carmen who rolled her eyes.

"Bye Carmen." She called.

"Bye Felix." Carmen shook her head.

"What?" Raf looked at her.

"I think you finally found a good match... You just picked the one complicated enough to effect work."

"Like I knew that before I was in to deep." He walked behind her desk as she handed up the papers to sign, "how bad do you think it'll be."

"If she can actually talk carisi down, none. If she can't..." Carmen looked up, "your hair is going to get grayer."

He held in his laugh and walked towards his office, "luckily she likes the gray. Cause I'm a silver fox."

His usual pep was back, Carman chuckling softly, "you forgot your files," she held them up as he slowly walked back over to take them.

"Thank you Carmen."

"Welcome.... Silver fox."

He blushed and quickly retired to his office, feeling that little heat rising in his cheeks. god I'm in to deep... This isn't going to end well...... I need some help, I need a clear head. He pulled out his cellphone, I need Mami.


sonny


Sonny had walked back to the precinct just for Liv to send him home. He wasn't work ready and needed to calm down. So he stopped at the diner, back corner booth, everyone cheery and chatting.... He sat alone basically playing with his food. 

How do I compete when I know I lost? How can I even be near him? He won Felix and might as well be ez's father.... Why do I even try? Take the ADA job in the Bronx and just stick with seeing ez on weekends... Let them be a happy family. Lux obviously wants him and isn't about to change her mind. He swallowed hard, I doubt she even cares about me anymore.

He was to deep in thought to see Felix approach, nor sit across from him, "wooo, I'm famished. I could definitely go for some pie right now."

"Have Barba buy it, he seems to be the love of your life." Sonny flipped his bun over and poked it with his fork.

"Or I could buy it myself... And yours."

"Don't worry about it. I'm a big boy remember." Sonny looked up, "so did you come here to scold me or tell me that you love me but it'll never work out so you'll stay with Barba and we'll be a big happy family."

"No," she waved down Jane and ordered two slices of pie, "I'm here to tell you something important that you might not have realized."

"What might that be?" He looked up.

"We we're breaking up before the incident." She leaned forward, "I was leaving for LA before it happened. The offer was too good to pass on and we started fighting because I said I took it. I wasn't thinking long distance when I said it either."

Sonny leaned back as if it clicked in his head, "wait..."

"Sonny, I do love you. Your still my best friend and the father of our son.... Your just not my guy. We weren't going to make it and it took that offer for me to see it. Believe me sonny, every fiber of my being loved you and wanted to turn it down to stay with you.... But my brain told me i was better off. You would be better in New York and I got my dream of being a chef." She sat back as the pie was sat down and she thanked Jane before she moved on, "if I stayed here for the relationship, I would've resented you for losing that chance and we would've been worse off."

"I never thought about that...." He looked at the pie and took a bite, a small smile spreading, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything I'm putting you through because of my jealousy. You did good picking Barba." He sighed, "I'm a ass."

"You are but that's beside the point." Felix smiled, "are we good?"

"Yeah," sonny nodded, "we're good. I'll even apologize to Barba."

"How about tonight? Dinner at my place so he can see you two getting along."

"Sure," sonny smiled, "I can do that. Thanks lux."

"Welcome sonny, I know that that doesn't fix everything but... It can at least give you some sort of closure." Felix kissed Sonny's cheek as she dropped cash for their pie, "see you tonight?"

He nodded and watched her leave with a quick hug to Jane as she rushed out. so where did we go wrong? If it wasn't the incident then what broke us up? Was it just...  Me?

Chapter Text

Sonny was walking to felix's place for dinner. He would apologize to raf and they would tell Liv it was all good later on. After talking with lux alone, he finally started see she was happy and better off. But that also gave him a chance to grow too, and there was a certain girl that had asked him out. He decided it wouldn't hurt and called her on his way over, setting up that date to show Felix he really was ok with everything.

Sonny walked in to the building and right to the door, took a deep breath and knocked. He heard feet approaching the door fast and the door swing open as Ezio tackled his dad.

"Hey dad. Mom said you were having dinner with is and raf." He was smiling, "is it true?"

"That's why I'm here." Sonny let go of him as he looked up to see Felix and raf in the kitchen cooking.

"Hey sonny."

"Hi carisi."

He smirked and nodded, "hey. What's for supper?"

"Lasagna. Fresh made like momma use to." Felix laughed as raf laid down the noodles, "well kinda like momma use to."

They both laughed for a second as he felt his heart drop a little, i never cooked with her like that... Could that be part of the reason why? She looks so happy having a extra ha d in the kitchen. sonny went to play with Ezio, he looked back real quick to watch the scene they were playing out again. Felix laughed as raf stepped behind her, threaded his arms under hers, and tried to help her blindly. He missed the pan a few times and got felix's nose with the sauce. She pushed his hands away as she giggled and tried to fix the dish, only helping him to put some more sauce on her face. Why didn't I ever cook with her like that? I know she would've loved it. 

Sonny followed Ezio back to his room and started talking about school and asking out this girl, Lucy. Sonny listened and tried to help.

"So lucy. is kinda popular and well.... Very cute. She is beautiful and I just don't stack up to the other boys in class when it comes to much of anything." Ez frowned, "I barely think she knows I exist."

"Well describe this Lucy to me." Sonny laid on ez's bed and watched his face light up as he described her.

"She is a blonde, beautiful brown eyes, she is like... The tallest girl in the class and loves sports. She plays soccer, volleyball, and track. She is really popular and have guys asking her out all the time.... She doesn't even acknowledge me really." Ez looked so pitiful at the end.

"Is this the girl from your party? The one you were skating with?" 

"Yeah but I haven't really tried since then." He sighed, "I doubt she would say yes."

"Oh come on, your a carisi. Carisi's have a undeniable charm and Italian attitude." Sonny joked as ez laughed, "you just need to make a move."

"Like what? How did you do that with mom?"

Sonny stopped, "that was very different... Me and your mom grew up together since birth basically." 

Ez smiled, "ok then... Give me a example that wasn't mom."

"Well... I do have a date with a beautiful woman Tomorrow." Sonny smiled, "we were at this coffee shop waiting in line when I seen her and decided to ask her out."

"Really? How."

Sonny bit his lip, maybe your one night stand turn to date isn't the best option. Maybe tweak the details a little. sonny adjusted a little.

"Well she almost looked like your girl." Or more like your mom but let's not touch that fact. "and she was buying a coffee when I noticed her. She dropped a dollar and I quickly picked it up and handed it to her. She thanked me and smiled. I took a chance and told her she had a pretty smile before asking her out."

"Smooth dad." Ez nodded, "I just don't think I can do that."

"Just make her smile, tell her she has a beautiful smile... Everything else just seems to work itself out." Sonny reassured as they heard Felix call for dinner. 

They both came out and smiled as raf and Felix had set the table and was cutting the lasagna. Everyone sat down and was well behaved as they ate. Ezio talked about school and everyone made small chat till ez finished and went to Avery's to play Before bed. The room was quiet, sonny breaking the silence as Felix almost jabbed him to it.

"Barba, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I should have actually tried to work with you and not start fights."

"It's ok, I shouldn't have made you talk about it at work." He offered back.

"there, now can we all be adults?" Felix smirked as they rolled their eyes as a yes.

They started chatting and again and after a little bit, sonny left to go home. He let slip he had a date tomorrow and they seemed pleasantly surprised. Felix hugged him good night and Barba shook his hand. Sonny said goodbye to ez as Ezio came back for bed.


Rafael


Ezio was getting ready for bed as raf sighed, he took fe's hand, "can we talk?"

"Sure raf, what's up?" Felix sat down on the couch, smiling as he sat beside her.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking and... After today I realized... We might be better off apart." Raf looked down, "I really do love you but, your interfering with my work and I can't fix it."

"Wait raf, where is this coming from?"

"A lot of thinking. After today... I can't do it." Raf shook his head, "I'm sorry."

"Raf no wait... Talk to me here." She leaned in, "where is this really coming from? Is it the fight with sonny? I call Liv and it's all good."

"No it's not that."

"Then what? We were doing so well.... Where is the problem?"

"I can't let my personal and work life merge like this." He sighed, " I love you, I love ezio... But my brain says it's the right thing."

"What does your heart say?"

"It's the biggest regret of my life."

"Raf please..." Fe tried as raf stood up, "please Rafael."

"I'm sorry Fe, I had to decide."

She stood up, "I thought you wanted a family? You always told me how much you regret not trying for a family before. About being in your forties and watching your Mami being sad about not having Grand children."

He went towards the door, "I can't do this though, I can't work up to a judge if this keeps happening."

"Your Mami said this would happen, I should've listened." Fe said so softly.

Raf stopped, "what?"

"Your Mami called and said you were thinking about breaking up. She said you were también obstinado (too bullheaded) to understand what she was saying."

"Mami called you?" He turned around, "really?"

"Yeah, she knew you would do this." 

Mami called her? She never talks to my girlfriends... She barely acknowledges them when I'm not around. Does she actually like Felix? Mami hasn't liked a girlfriend of mine in a long time. 

"She really Called you?" He looked at Felix dumbfounded.

"She said you'd do that too... Sorry." Fe handed him her phone, "call her. If you still want to break up, I won't stop you."

He stared at the phone before frowning, "she told you to do this too?"

"Your mami isn't a fool." She smirked.

Raf took the phone and called his Mami, waiting as it rang through.


Ezio


Ezio sat infront of his mirror, practicing what to say.

"Hi Lucy, you look nice." He sighed, "I sound like a idiot. No."

"I seen your practice last Thursday..... Now I sound like a stalker. Think ez, think." He gently banged his head against the mirror before looking up 

"Maybe dad doesn't have the best advice....  Raf helped alot at my birthday, maybe he can help me ask her out."

Ez walked out to see raf biting his lip talking on the phone, "yeah I know Mami."

"Hey raf?" Ez stopped, "can I ask you for some advice?"

Raf stopped, "uhmm... One second Mami." He handed the phone to felix, "what can I help with ez?"

"Remember the girl from my birthday, Lucy?"

"Yeah."

"Well I'm trying to ask her out and I don't know how." 

Raf nodded, "well, I know one way to try... It always worked for me. Actually, it's how I got a date with your mom."

"Okay, how?"

"Make her smile or laugh. Tell her she has a beautiful smile. Then ask her out. Just start with something as simple as you look beautiful today or compliment her outfit... A sure fire way is the hair though, women are always worried about thirty hair. Then you just say, 'you have a beautiful smile.' and slip in something like, 'what are you doing Friday night.'." he smirked, "I talked to your mom and made her smile, then I asked her out."

"That really works?" Ez smiled.

"Yeah, just tell her she looks beautiful or compliment her, tell her she has a beautiful smile and add in the date. Never fails."  Ez hugged raf.

"Thanks raf, I should get to bed now."

"Night ez." Raf watched him run back, Felix calling out, "love ya Ezio, good night."

"Night Mom!"


Rafael


Raf watched ez run off, before looking back at the phone. He took it and lifted it to his ear.

"Still there?"

"Of course," she said, "but I have to ask... Do you really want that to stop?"

"No."

"Don't worry about change mijo, it always works out for the best." Lucia sighed, "goodnight Mijo. And tell your girlfriend good night for me too."

Raf sighed, "goodnight Mami."

He hung up and handed fe the phone, "so?"

"Mami says goodnight."

"And?"

"I think you promised me a fun night. If I lock the door and you can stay quiet." He pulled Felix up, "or is that off the table now?"

"Depends." She locked eyes with him, "break up sex or make up sex?"

"I don't know," he pulled her close, "but I certainly don't want to go."

"Alright sexy, make up it is."

The two walked to her bed room and locked the door. A fun night to follow for them, as raf forgot his earlier attempt to end this relationship... The biggest regret he luckily didn't make.

 

Chapter Text

Now that it was hotter out, the carisis and culwells decided to throw their annual bar-b-q and pool party for their family and neighbors. The culwells had the big pool and the carisis had the room for the guest after they removed the small fence that separated the two properties. They would invite the neighbors and have more then enough food for everyone as usual. Sonny was told first, his sister and mother calling him and having him tell Felix if she didn't already know. They were to come and bring Ezio, and Felix was certain to bring her boyfriend even if it wasn't the warmest welcome from most of the family. Sonny was meeting them at her place and the four would drive out together, since they figured sonny being ok with them dating would stop the others from being so bad.

They gathered at the door, sonny holding a small bag with a change of clothes for him and ez, raf carrying the bag for her and himself. The four went to the car sonny had rented, piling in for the drive out. Raf and Fe sat in the back as sonny drove with Ezio riding shotgun. The drive went quick once Fe stole the radio from sonny and ez picked the station to stop them from bickering. Classic rock was playing as Felix cuddled into raf's side, raf cracking his window as he watched the buildings fly by. Occasionally, his hand would stroke hers, as she hummed to whatever song played. Ezio was dancing a little as he watched out his window. The four seemed almost like a family, much to raf and Felix's surprise after the past few days.

They pulled into her folks driveway, slowly leaving the car as her parents called from around back. Sonny's sister came around and ushered them back Ezio running off to play with a few kids. Sonny was pulled off to help his mom do something as Felix pulled raf to sit at a small table beside the pool. Her parents and a few neighbors joined the same area and started conversation.

"Felix culwell? Oh my God you have gotten so big!" 

"That's what happens when you turn 33 Mrs. Coors." She giggled and hugged her old neighbor.

"Who is this then?" Mrs. Turrano asked as she smiled at raf.

"This is my boyfriend, Rafael." Fe hugged raf's arm tighter around her as he smiled and nodded, "nice to meet you."

"I though you were dating sonny? You two were attached at the hip growing up." 

"You two also have a son. How old is he? 8... 9...  10?"

"You would think the parents would be together for him... How does sonny feel about him?"

Felix wasn't prepared for a thousand questions from people she hasn't seen in years, raf was just trying to look more comfortable then he was. Their silent prayers answered when sonny came over.

"Lux, mom needs your help. She burnt the last four attempts at the salads." He stopped noticing the sudden feeling of discomfort.

"Sure sonny." She leaped up and ran by him whispering 'help raf' as she pushed by to the kitchen. 

Sonny smiled and handed raf a bottle of water, sitting beside him as everyone made small remarks. Sonny looked at raf and chuckled.

"So did Liv tell you about the prank we pulled on fin? We taped a air horn to his chair." Sonny smiled as raf chuckled.

"Seriously? Did you get video?" Raf leaned over as sonny pulled out his phone.

"No...just checking a text. Liv." Sonny read the message, "they got a lead. The taxi driver found the address."

"That's good, maybe I can actually get charges from that." Raf leaned back.

The others looked over and one asked, "you two know each other?"

"We work together." Sonny said, "he's the ADA my squad works with."

"So your a lawyer?" Another man nodded, "make good money?"

Raf sat back and tried to make small chat, as the question got more personal sonny would jump in and cause them to chill out a little. Fe came back a half hour later, sitting on raf's lap and the edge of sonnys. She smiled and made a joke as everyone chuckled. The next part did catch them by surprise.

"So sonny, does Felix dating someone else bother you?" 

It was dead quiet in the middle of the beautiful summer like day. All three looked uncomfortable, they might have fix this with themselves but this was weird to talk about.

"No. She's a grown woman, she can date who she wants." Sonny held his face even though part of him wanted to change the answer.

Shortly after that, the men went to cook on the grill and Felix pulled raf up and into her old house. Sonny followed knowing what was up. The three stepped in and sonny started.

"I wish they would leave it alone. They know we haven't dated in over 10 years." Sonny looked up at Fe.

"I can't believe they told the neighbors we were still dating." She sat down deflated, "are parents really don't think we can be happy apart."

"Let me go chat with my parents... Figure out what exactly they said." Sonny walked away as Felix frowned.

Raf took a deep breath before sitting beside her, "don't worry about it Fe. Just brush it off and let's have a good time."

She smiled and gave him a kiss, more like makeout session until he pulled back for air. She blushed and hid her face as a giggle emerged, raf raising a brow in question.

"I feel like a teenager making out on my parents couch again."

He chuckled at that, "I can understand that... Ok not really Mami was nosy when I had a girl around."

 "Poor teen Rafi." Felix laughed before giving a look raf knew all to well.

"We are not having sex on your parents couch."

"No of course not.... Upstairs bathroom or my old bed room." She kissed him, "just tell me your up for a quickie."

"I love you Fe."

She grabbed his hand and pulled him up. She lead him to the stairs and walked up them backwards kissing him. His hands holding her waist, her lips leaving his to trail down his neck as he walked her to the first bedroom on the left. She looked around and smirked.

"This is my parents bedroom."

"More revenge like," he smirked and kissed her lips tenderly, "or does it make you uncomfortable?"

"Nah, just drop those pants." She pulled off her shirt and kicked off her shorts, "hurry up."

He rolled his eyes and let Fe pull his shirt off over his head. She undid his belt and kissed him before he pushed the door shut and locked it, she dropped to her knees and tugged his pants down. He rested his back against the door as she slipped his boxer briefs off and kissed his tip. His body tensed and she smiled at the twitch he gave in her hand. She takes in just his head, swirling her tongue around it before gently sucking. He moaned and braced his hands behind him on the door and wall. She bobbed and twisted softly, Rafael restraining himself as she took in more and more until he couldn't take it.

"Fe, get on the bed."

She pulled off and strutted to the bed. She swayed her hips and sat down as raf walked over and kissed her. He undid her bra and tossed her underwear off to the side. The two made out for a moment before she pushed him back and rolled over. She pushed her ass up and turned her head to look over her shoulder.

"I figure this could make things quicker... Wouldn't want people to go looking for us." She giggled as he shook his head.

"No, you just want to hear me growl." Raf kissed her shoulder as he lined up, "green?"

"Green."

Raf pushed in and let out a soft growl as he bottomed out, her lips breaking to release her wet gasp. He set a soft pace and held her hips. She pushed her head back and let out a loud moan. One of his hands laced into her hair and she encouraged his tug with another moan.

"God raf.... Right there. How can you go that deep?" She purred out as he thrusted harder.

Time seemed to be rushing by, they lost focus of everything except them in that moment. His hips stuttered, hers pressed bruisingly against him... Her lips opened wide, all air rushing from her as he released his load deep in her. He pulled out slowly and kissed her ass as he watched her leaking.

"We forgot the condom....again." he chuckled.

"And we forgot to make it quick," she lifted her phone up and texted something, "sonny said they were looking for us."

He grabbed a towel beside the bath and wiped himself off before cleaning her up, "I would clean you completely except... We don't have time." 

She laughed and sat up, she fixed her hair and got dressed before slapping his ass as he put his belt back on. He smirked and kissed her before opening g the door and walking back out.

"By the way... You taste amazing papi." Felix kissed raf before they walked out.

 The two sat back down after getting food, sonny joining them.


Sonny


"hey guys, do I even want to know why you two were gone for almost a hour?"

"Probably not." Felix smiled, "and my parents won't either."

"God you are still a teenager Felix." Sonny took a bite as raf smirked, "and you too Barba."

They both chuckled as sonny sighed, "Fe can we talk in private in a moment?"

"Sure sonny."

They finished eating before Fe and sonny walked around to the front porch and sat on the porch swing. He took a deep breath, before looking over.

"Remember that girl I was telling you about?" 

"Robin?" 

"Yeah," he nodded, "I want to introduce her to ez."

"Wow that's a big step. What you've two been dating what...?" She thought for a second, "two and a half weeks."

"So. You introduced Barba after a week basically."

"Because ez lives with me and it was impossible to stop that from happening." Fe laughed, "dude... Do you like her or like like her."

"What is this? Grade school." Sonny laughed.

She shook her head, "screw you."

"I like her... Really like her." He smirked, "she's kinda like you before you hit puberty... You know when you were like 15 or so."

She punched him playfully, "screw you sonny."

"You have..... Cause that's wear babies come from." Sonny dodge her next punch only for her foot to kick him off the swing.

They both started laughing as she helped him up. The two walked back as she smirked at him.

"I'm glad your happy sonny...  You deserve it you know." 

"Thanks lux... It's nice to see you happy too... Even if it's with barba."

"He's my silver fox." She gave a sassy head Bob as they both laughed.

"Is he now?"

"Believe it or not, he said it first." She smirked and walked back over to raf and sat on his lap as he watched ez playing in the pool with the other kids.

"Who said what first?" Barba asked as he snaked his arms around her waist.

"You called yourself a silver fox first." Barba's face turned a pretty pink and he looked down as Fe laughed and kissed his nose, "it's true though.... You have the perfect gray streak on the side and the rest is peppered."

He smirked, "why would you want to date a old man?" 

Before she could answer Ezio called out, "because he's awesome."

Everyone chuckled and sonny took off his shirt and dove in to grab ez. He squeezed ez Close and tickled him in the water.

"Really? He's awesome. What about your dad buddy?"

"He's cool too." He laughed as sonny tossed him in the deep water.

Felix rolled her eyes and jumped in after stripping down to her bikini. Rad followed after she threatened to sit on his lap wet, dropping in the water and joining them in their fun. 


As it got late, the four toweled off and changed into dry clothes. They said their goodbyes, Ezio hugged his grandparents. As they were all leaving, the same seats as the drive in, Felix used raf as her pillow. She held him and kissed his cheek.

"How was today?"

"Fun." He smirked, "I'm glad I came."

"Good. Ezio?"

"Amazing mom... We should do it again soon." He started playing with the radio.

Sonny looked back at Felix, they spoke in unison, "not to soon."

 

Chapter Text

"where is my briefcase?!" Raf yelled back as Felix dropped on the couch.

"Did you check your office?"

"I never went into my office last night. Why would it be there?"

"It grew legs and walked." She gave a irked smirk and went back to the tv show she was watching.

"Just say you moved it, I don't need the sarcasm." He rolled his eyes and retrieved the briefcase and walked over for a kiss, "have a good day off."

"Just go to work." She didn't attempt to kiss him, just let him kiss her hair Instead.

"Love you too." He sighed and left.

What's her problem? Why is she angry now? Sometimes I wish she would talk about it like a normal person instead of being passive aggressive all the time. Raf ran to work and jumped right into court. This would be the tenth day of trial on this case thanks to the defences constant adding of pointless witnesses and experts. He was going mad as sonny came up.

"Hey carisi, do you have that file Liv called me about last night?" 

Carisi handed him the file, "yeah here. Quick question for you, how was Ezio last night?"

"I couldn't tell you, he never left his room and Fe wasn't feeling like arguing to get him out." He looked up, "why?"

"He called and said he had this party with friends tonight, he just.... He didn't sound like himself. Distracted you know." Carisi shrugged.

"Who knows.... Teenagers and all."

Carisi took his seat and raf prepared for trial.


Felix


Rafael why can't you just keep your work things in your office? I know Ezio is grown but he doesn't need to see that shit. Felix huffed and started her sweet bourbon chicken pasta. She always started the chicken in the sauce in the morning so it absorbed more flavor by the time she cooks it for supper. She cooked the sauce and poured it over the chicken before moving it to the fridge, checking to make sure the shrimp was the right ones since ezio didn't seem interested in listening to his mom's full sentences yesterday. 

Tonight, Fe was cooking for five... Sonny was bringing his girlfriend Allison over. Her and sonny decided on the meal choice, raf and Ezio not caring as long as they were fed. She pre mixed her seasonings for the garlic potatoes and shrimp before checking to make sure she had the homney and Ezio didn't eat it all on his day off from school the day before last. she finally felt good enough to sit down on the couch, her phone staring at her as she thought. I overreacted... God I hope raf isn't in court. 

Rafael

F I wanted to apologize for this morning baby. I was just angry over you leaving your work out. I know Ezio is grown now but, I still worry.

i understand. I'm sorry and promise to put my things away from now on.

R  so how is your relaxing day off going?

F  horrible... I don't think it'll be relaxing until I actually start supper. Btw bring home a nice wine because I forgot to buy some.

R  you still have several hours before you need to start cooking. Did you try turning on the TV and finding a cooking show?

F  so I can yell at the TV? Why not, it'll work.... Hopefully.

 I promise to pick up wine and put my work away tonight. Love you Felix.

F  Love you rafael. 

Felix smiled at the phone and turned on the TV, trying to relax now that she knew her and raf were good. 


Sonny


After court, sonny flagged down Rafael again. He stepped on the elevator with him alone, turning towards him.

"So, what do you think about Allison?" 

"She seems nice, why?" Raf looked up cautiously.

"I was thinking about purposing to her. I think she's the one." Sonny smiled, "I mean she is just perfect."

"You two have been dating for six months, don't you think that's a little soon?" They got off and started towards his office.

"When did you know lux was the one?"

"First time I talked to her...  But I wanted to make sure before I did something like that." Raf looked over, "if I asked before I did, she would've said no. You know she would've."

"True but, I don't think Ali will." Sonny smiled.

"Hello Carmen." Raf smiled to himself receptionist as she replied and handed him a note.

She waved to sonny and went back to typing as the doctor would men walked into his office. Raf tossed his coat over his couch and grabbed a water from the small fridge before offering one to sonny. He refused and leaned against raf's desk.

"So you really want to propose to Ali?" Raf gave a questioning look, "last week you were convinced she was breaking up with you because you bailed on her birthday."

"It was just nerves over our fight." Sonny shrugged, "it's fine now."

"Hey, do what you believe is right..... Just not tonight at dinner." Raf smirked, "it's bad enough me and Felix fought this morning."

"About what?"

"Not sure entirely.... All I know is she apologized during the break at court for yelling this morning and asked me to put my briefcase in my office."

"Sounds like lux." Sonny smirked, "so this proposal..."

"Why don't you talk to Fe about it? She knows you better then most and will gladly tell you her thoughts." Raf sat down at his desk as sonny turned around to face him, "but honestly, You should do what makes you happy."

 "Ok... I can do that." He smiled, "see you tonight councilor."

Sonny waved goodbye to carmen and walked back to the squad on his phone. He was calling Felix as he approached the precinct. I don't see anything wrong with this? I love Ali and she loves me..... Why couldn't he just say yes this was a good idea. 

"Hello?"

"Hey lux, I got to ask you something."

"Sure sonny, not like this dumbass on chopped who can't even cook a steak is going to make it." 

Sonny chuckled, "well, how do you like Ali?"

"She seems cool. Why?"

"I'm thinking about taking the next step." Sonny sighed.

"well I know you're sleeping together already and we're not sixteen anymore so you have to be talking marriage."

"And?"

"You should do what makes you happy."

"Funny, Barba said the same thing." Sonny rolled his eyes as he sat down at his desk across from Amanda, "those exact words too."

"Smart man." Felix gave a small annoyed grunt obviously to the tv, "just do what you want.... Everything will work out for the best."

"Thanks, bye lux."

"Bye sonny."

Sonny sat his phone down and frowned at Amanda, "that wasn't very helpful."

"What?" She smiled up.

"Barba and lux gave the same advice... But it sounded kinda fake."

"What did they say?"

"You should do what makes you happy." Sonny rolled his eyes as Amanda laughed.

"It's good advice... Take it. What's the worst that could happen?" She started to say something else as Liv walked out to send them on a disclosure.


Felix


Felix had just finished supper, the five plates perfectly made as raf let sonny and Ali in. He knocked for ez as everyone took their seats at the table. Felix sat down the plates and raf helped poor the wine. 

"This smells delicious, what is it?" Ali took a small wiff of the plate.

"Sweet Bourbon chicken, spicy shrimp, garlic potatoes, and grilled homney. One of my personal favorite dishes." Fe sat down as raf pushed her in.

"As mine." Raf sat down, "but be careful with the shrimp."

Every started eating and making conversation, Ali taking a bite of the spicy shrimp and coughing. Sonny helped her with a sip of the wine, and making a joke. Everyone moved by it fairly easy, then Ezio was about to leave for his room when sonny stopped him. No sonny.... Not here. Not now. Please no. her eyes went to raf who must've thought the same thing.

"Ali, you are a beautiful amazing girl and I am beyond lucky to have you in my life." He slipped down to a knee and pulled the box out as they both got nervous for him, "will you do me the pleasure of marrying me?"

"Oh sonny..." Her voice was low, "I...I...I..."

She pushed her chair out and ran out to the hall as sonny stood. Felix ran after Ali to make sure she was ok, raf calmed down sonny who was beating himself up. Felix caught her by the front door.

"Ali wait."

"I'm sorry Felix, that was just...."

"I know, are you ok?" Fe gave a reasuring smile. 

"Yeah, but I... I don't know where that came from." She looked up, "tell sonny I'm sorry. But I can't do this."

Ali walked out as Fe slowly walked back to the apartment. She stepped in and motioned sonny out to break the news. Raf already knowing what it was from her look. 


Rafael


As the door shut, raf noticed Ezio was again in his room. He frowned and went to talk to him. He knocked on the door and waited till ez called him in. He was sitting on his bed holding the playbill to wicked. He looked up.

"Whats up?"

"You ok ez?" Raf leaned on the door.

"Yeah good." 

"Now try to say it more convincingly." Raf sat down beside him.

"Ok.... Rafael, I need some advice." He looked over with a frown.

"How big of advice?"

"Huge..... Big big."

"Then you should ask your mom or dad."

"But that's part of it.... How to tell them."

Raf leaned forward, "Uhmmm... Ok then. Let's see if I can help."

He looked over at ez as he figgets with the playbill for a minute before sitting it down. He looked over and opened his mouth just to shut it and take a deep breath.

"It ok ez, no judgement."

"Remember how I really liked that girl...Lucy."

"The one from.your birthday right after me and your mom started dating."

"Yeah.... Well we broke up a few weeks ago."

"Break ups are hard," raf started but ez stopped him.

"I broke up with her." He looked down, "after dating for almost five years, I broke up with her... Because I...well."

"It's ok ez, just tell me." Raf looked carefully at the teen.

"I'm gay. I kinda kissed Lucy's brother and that was when I had to break it off." He sighed, "I just don't know how to tell mom and dad."

"Well, Uhmmm...." Raf rubbed his neck, "I don't know how to help with that."

"Of course." He frowned.

"Just tell them." Raf looked over, "they are understanding. Your dad deals with this stuff all the time, and your mom is one of the most understanding people I have ever met."

"How do I tell them?"

"Just say it.... Sit them down and tell them both. Give them a minute and they'll be supportive." Raf sat back, "they'll always be supportive."

"I just... I don't know how?" He stood up, "I feel like if I try, I will chicken out."

"What if I am there for you." Raf watched him look over, "I won't tell them but I will be there to make sure you feel comfortable in saying it to them."

"Really?" He watched raf closely.

"Yeah," raf nodded, "I became your step dad, I would be horrible if I didn't support you."

"Thanks raf," ez tackled raf into a hug, "I'm lucky to have a step dad like you."

"I'm lucky to have you as my stepson," he smiled, "now let's make sure your dad is ok.... Maybe tell them in a few days after this blows over."

"Deal."

The two walked out and went to see how everyone was. Their main focus, the broken carisi that Fe was calming down.

Chapter Text

Felix gave a gentle smile to sonny, walking him to the small bench in the short hallway. Her heart breaking for him, trying to figure out how to break it without destroying him. Luckily, sonny wasn't completely delusional. 

"She broke up with me, didn't she?"

"hey sonny, look at me.... Everything is fine." Felix pulled him in as she hugged sonny.

"No it's not, she said no. I proposed and she said no." Sonny tried to push her off but she wasn't moving, "lux please."

"Sonny stop. I love you, your my sonny but I can't take this. Your a good guy, stop crying." She made him look at her, "Ali wasn't the one... Your girl is still out there."

"No your my girl, you always have been.... No one lives up to you." He was wiping away tears.

"Sonny..."

"No Felix it's true. I'm never going to find anyone like you, you were my girl. You always was." He hugged her back.

"Sonny I'm married now." 

"And not to me.... I fucked up. I really fucked up." He was crying again.

"Sonny stop that. Listen, I'm not your girl. I never was your girl. We grew apart."

"When?" He wouldn't look at her.

"Right after high School. You were working and school.... I was struggling to get attention and doing the competitions to get a little. And not for a career, that was by accident, to get any attention." She pulled back and looked at him, "I told you before it wasn't that fight or accident. It was us. You weren't paying attention to what I wanted and needed, you just wanted to further this apple pie life you imagined. You didn't see me as unhappy, just rolling through the motions.... You didn't see me fighting with myself to decide if I should leave. You had on blinders, and I couldn't do it much longer."

"So where did it go wrong?"

 "Your mom said it best, your a city mouse and I wanted to explore. You wanted kids and dinner on the table when you got home... I wanted Adventure and mystery. We weren't going to last."

"But look at you now." He tried, "I mean Barba?"

"He wants a family and a career. I explored, I had my fun.... And he doesn't hold me back if I want to do something. I mean I got the promotion and even gained attention for my career. And I don't want this to sound bad but... You would've held me back. As much as I loved you, it wouldn't of worked." She stood up, "me and raf... We get each other and we make it work well. I love him, like I loved you.... He really makes me happy and I'm loving where I am right now."

"So you didn't even want to try?" Sonny stood up, "you never wanted to try being with me?"

"Sonny I did... For years I did. I tried and it only helped me realize I shouldn't, couldn't do it." She sighed, "I have some amazing news that I haven't told them yet.... If I tell you, will you cheer up?"

"Depends...  If you say your pregnant..."

She cut him off, "no! God no... If I was pregnant raf would know first."

He shook his head with a soft smile, "ok what's the news?"

"I'm going to be on chopped.... I got the acceptance letter today and I am dying to tell everyone but I don't know how." 

Sonny hugged her, "congratulations, you finally made it to tv. I can't believe it."

 "That's why I picked him sonny." She poked his chest, "he'll say I knew you would."

Felix lead sonny back in to the apartment and was trying to cheer him up when raf and Ezio came out. Ez hugged his dad and started talking about how bad his dating life was and made a joke of 'like father, like son'.


Rafael


Raf smiled knowingly at ezio's reason for having horrible dates. Then he noticed fe motion towards the kitchen, so he followed her in. She pulled out a tub of ice cream and had him pull out the cookie/brownie bar she made. They dished up four plates and put away the extras, carrying them in and each handing one to one of the boys. 

"Allison wasn't the one, she was to high maintenance anyway." Ezio joked.

"I know I don't see the point in make-up all the time or dressing up daily but... She seemed to uppity." Felix smiled, "she was nice but not good enough for this family."

"Your just saying that."

"I'm saying the truth," Felix punched sonny, "don't forget it."

"Oh look at you, getting a ego from marrying him are we?" 

"Of course, how else would she put up with me," raf kissed her.

"Or is it your new break Missy, getting big in the britches are we?" 

Ezio and raf looked confused and Felix punch sonny harder this time, "way to go dude, ruin my fun."

New break? What is he talking about? Raf sat down on the chair to the side as ezio asked for him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Since sonny is a jerk," Fe glared, "I guess I'm spilling the news early." 

Fe stood up and stepped back from everyone, "gentleman.... I, Felix Lux Barba, am competing on chopped."

Ezio jumped up and hugged her, "mom that is awesome! Your only steps away from meeting Gordon Ramsey.... Get you on Hell's Kitchen or maybe we could swing Master chef."

"No stop it you brat." She chuckled and ruffled his hair.

Ezio sat back down as raf walked over and kissed her sweetly, "I knew you could do it... Never doubted your ability."

She smiled into his chest as he hugged her and kissed the top of her head, "love you raf."

"Love you too Fe."

 He pulled back and smiled at her blush, "it's not that big a deal, I just made it to tv.... For one episode." 

"It's amazing news, don't sell yourself short." Raf smiled, "we should celebrate it later... Along with your victory."

"Stop," she pushed him back through laughter, "I'll probably be the first one out."

 "Never, I'd be surprised if you didn't win it." Raf smirked.

"Ok can we stop with the lovey dovey stuff...I don't think I can stomach it much more tonight." Ez made a vomit gesture and everyone laughed.

"Go to bed... You have school tomorrow." Fe smacked his leg so she could sit down beside him.

"It's eight mom."

"I will carry you back there like when you were a kid boy, don't test me." She sassed back to the teen who laughed and kissed her cheek on the way back to his room.

Raf nodded, "you can stay the night if you want."

"No..no..  I'm just gonna go home. I'll see you at work tomorrow." He gave Fe a hug, "later lux."

"Bye sonny."

They watched him leave before Fe turned to raf, "did I seriously just send Ezio to bed at eight pm?"

"You did." He chuckled.

"Yeah... In that case, I'm sending you to bed too.... With me.... For a very different reason." She kissed him and slowly pulled him with her to the bedroom, "show me how much you love me."

He chuckled and followed her back to the room, around the tangled mess of groping and kissing. 

Chapter Text

After a few days, sonny seemed back to normal and trying for a new relationship. Ezio had plans with friends for the night and would sleep over at his dad's afterwards, which meant that Felix and Rafael had a night to themselves. That's all they needed one whole night alone in their apartment, clothes optional, and they would be good for a while. So as it usually went, Fe cooks a amazing dinner while raf runs out to get the perfect wine or alcohol of choice. They would sit down and talk about their work and frustrations before heading right back to the bedroom. 

 Tonight was no different, they had a perfect dinner and was currently stripping down in the bedroom. His hand squeezed her through the bra as she gasped. She threw her head back and let raf guide her back as she dropped down for his dessert ....  a phone ringing.

"Hello?" He bit back his frustration fe rolled her eyes.

"Raf... I need your help. I'm sorry I know it's late..." He heard a sniffle, "can you please come get me?"

"What happened?"

"I'll explain when you get here... Please I need you raf." 

"Ok... Text me the address." Raf hung up and pulled away as Felix whined.

"Raaaaaaaaffffffiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... It was just getting good.... And it's midnight, let work wait." Fe sat up and kissed his stomach as he kissed her hair.... Her lips trailing down to his open pants.

"Lo siento fe, I have to go but I promise it'll be quick." He bit back a moan and tried to step back as she licked his legnth through his drawers, "I wouldn't leave my wife hanging."

"You better not," she laid back, "she is dying of pent up sexual frustration."

He kissed her again before getting redressed and running out the door to the car. He checked his phone and immediately frown at the address, it was a club. Raf drove over as quick as he could and call Ezio when he was close, he found ez quickly in a alley.

"What's with the midnight call and why were you at a club?" Raf stopped short as Ezio turned around and raf seen his bruised cheek, "what happened?"

"I got into a fight.... I'm better then my friend." He looked away, "can we just go home."

"Why are you at a club?" Raf shifted into his lawyer stance, "tell me you aren't drunk and don't have a fake id."

"I get it, I did wrong.... Let's just go." He was on the verge of tears as he walked past raf to the car. 

Raf got in behind him and started the vehicle, only to shut it off a moment later, "no... Tell me what happened."

"Raf..."

"Do you want me to call your parents?" Raf threatened.

"Fine.... But you can't tell them." He looked over, "promise me."

"You know I can't do that, if your mom asks I'm going to tell her." 

"You can't... You can't tell anyone." Ezio pleaded, "raf you can't."

"What Happened?" Raf nodded, "Just tell me why you are bruised and at a club."

Ezio sat back and closed his eyes, "my friend wanted to watch this band and they were playing this club. You had to at least be eighteen to get in, so he got us some fake IDs." He pulled out his and sat it down for raf to look at, "He got them for thirty bucks, I knew it was wrong but I wanted to go. So we came here and got in, since the IDs said we were twenty-five he decided on a drink. I wasn't down but he pushed. Said it would look off if I didn't, so I got a shot and sipped it."

"Who much?" 

"Just two sips... It burned and I couldn't stand the taste." Ez looked over, "I don't know how you and Mom can drink Scotch."

"Practice." Raf motioned him on.

"Well, he started flirting with the bartender that was obviously gay. A guy at the bar made a few jokes and next thing I know, my friend was being beaten. I tried to pull him out from under the guy as someone deck me. He called me some, unkind names and shoved me over the bar. The bouncer threw them out and dragged us out the back door." He looked away as raf seen where this was going, "he was badly hurt and I wanted to call for help, but the guys from inside just... They beat him and went after me. I tried to stop them but...but I was good compared to him."

"Where is he?" 

"I called 911 at a payphone and didn't leave my name. They took him in... I just didn't want mom or dad getting that call."

"Ez... Are you hurt anywhere else?" Raf looked over his bruise that was lining in a whitish yellow, "tell me now."

"My side. I haven't checked it but it's painful." He frowned as he lifted his side and Raf's eyes went wide.

"Dios mio... We have to go to the emergency room.'

"No! I can't explain this." Ez was in denial, "it's not that bad."

"It is..... We have to let your parents know too." Raf closed his eyes as Ezio pleaded.

"God no.... No, no, no, no... They can't know." He turned towards raf liked a kicked puppy, "they don't know I'm gay, this assault isn't how I wanted them to find out."

"It's a hate crime ez, these guys attacked you two because you were gay. Who knows how you friend is doing but you...you need to get checked out."

"This isn't a case raf, just drive me home please."

"No." Raf sighed, "I'm not hiding this from your mother. This is a serious matter and I can't... I can't do it." 

"Please." Ezio looked over knowing this was final, "fine, but I want you to take me to the hospital. Call them while I'm being treated but please... Please don't tell them anything. I need to."

Raf nodded, "deal, once your checked in I'll call them down."


Ezio was back in a exam room, raf paced the waiting area as he called Felix. He heard the ring and prayed she was still awake and not mad at his longer then expected absence.

"Where are you raf? You said it should take no ti..."

"Fe listen, Ez is in the hospital. He called me to pick him up and he was injured." Raf bit his lip.

"Injured? What happened? How bad? Where?" She was talking almost as fast a raf as he heard things being pushed around, obviously she was trying to find clothes.

"Just get down to mercy, I'm in the waiting room of the ER. I'll call carisi and have him come too."

The line went dead as raf pulled his phone down to start the next call. Sonny wasn't much better just as frightened. But as he waited, he asked for a update and got nothing new. The doctor would be out soon, let them work and help him. Next thing you know, they arrived at the same time and jumped at raf as he tried to tell them to calm down.

"What happened? Why is he here?" Fe pushed, sonny adding "why is my son in the emergency room and why didn't you call us sooner."

"He called me and I had to talk him into coming. As for why, he is the one that needs to explain."

They both looked like true parents, overly concerned and frightened... A small part of them wanting to kill him. And they wanted to kill raf for not telling them any details. But he couldn't, that was on Ezio to tell... And on Felix and sonny to decide how to handle it. Raf was sitting back as they started to hit the panic part and he ended up holding Felix and talking them both down. By the time the doctor came out, he escorted them back and stop them by the exam room door.

"Your son has a bruised cheek and a small nose bleed, nothing bad there. Our concern is his side, he has a bruised rib and it looks like bruising around his kidney/small intestines." The doctor frowned, "I'm proscribing pain killers and he'll need to wrap his abdomen. No school or activities for at least a week. I'll even recommend bed rest."

"How bad is it?" Fe looked up scared.

"Nothing major, the meds are just for comfort. He can go home anytime after he gives a statement."

"Statement?" Sonny asked.

"With that kind of bruising... We had to report."

"Thank you doctor." Raf nodded as he walked away.


Ezio


Ezio heard the door open, his eyes flicking up to see his parents walk in. Raf stayed back by the door, letting him take the full wrath of his parents. He watched his mom sit on down across from him as his dad put his hands on his hips. Shit.

"what happened?" Sonny was staring down his son.

"I was at this club with a friend to see this band." 

"Club? You do not have a fake ID." He narrowed in, "and you better not be drinking."

"Sorry." Ezio felt sick, he looked down afraid of the looks he was getting.

"You were in a club drinking with a friend... Do you understand how bad this is?"

"Yeah... But it was nothing compared to my friends injuries." Ez looked up, "I want to check on him."

"Did you get a good look at these guys?" Sonny pushed.

"Dad... Can we not."

"No we are, you were drinking at a club and was attacked. Your injuries were reported already and a few officers will be here to take a statement."

"But not you!" Ez stopped when he heard it, "please... I don't want to tell either of you right now."

Raf shifted in the background as sonny turned on him, "did he tell you?"

"Carisi..."

"Did he tell you?" He started that way when Felix stopped him.

"Don't sonny, make a few calls and see if you guys can swing this case. If it makes you feel better but, attacking either of them won't help." She stood and motioned sonny out, "let's go call."

Raf mouthed Thank you before she stopped and whispered, "thank you for being there for him... Please help him along while I take care of sonny."

He nodded again and they waited till the door shut, "you have to tell them."

"I will... Just not now." Ez looked up, "dad is getting the squad to take this?"

"Yeah, it won't be easy till the hate crime part comes out. Hopefully after you do or your parents will be worst to handle." Raf sighed, "do you want me to stay?"

"For as long as possible." Ez shifted, "sorry I got you in trouble."

"It's fine... But you have to tell us your friends name so we can find him and make this case." 

"I know... Thanks. For everything Raf."

Raf stayed with him till Fin and Amanda came in. He stepped out to talk to Liv and told her what he disclosed and then stepped back in at the end of the interview. Ezio gave up his friend, James Garner, and they immediately went to find out where he was taken. Liv stayed behind with Raf, looking to Ezio who sighed. 

"Thanks Raf."

"It's nothing Ez. Anything else you want to say?" Raf nodded.

"I called from a payphone and didn't leave my name... After the slurs and what he said, I didn't want my parents to get the call. They don't know."

Liv nodded, "your dad will find out soon, you should tell them."

"I will. Can you please tell me how James is doing when you find out?" Ez stood up, "I would like to visit him.

"I can do that." She smiled, "feel better."

Liv left and raf looked over at ez, "let's get you home. We need to tell them."

"We?" Ez asked.

"You should but.... After tonight I think you could use the backup." He smirked, "I can try to butter them up so they won't freak out. The hate crime aspect might be a blessing, it could keep them mildly worried so they don't kill you."


Once the four were back home, Ezio turned to his parents, "mom, dad.... We need to talk."

They both stopped and Ez motioned them to sit. They did as he asked and sat on the couch as ez fidgeted, raf walking up to beside him.

"There is a reason Ezio told me and not you two, it's more complicated then you being his parents." Raf sat down on the chair to the side, "he had already confided in me, I was the only one that knew everything."

"Thanks raf," he stood up straight, "remember that girl I was dating, Lucy."

"Of course, you looked devistated when you two broke up. Why?" Felix frowned.

"Yeah, well... I liked her but not in that way." He smirked, "I actually kinda liked her for her brother.....then I broke up with her cause I kinda kissed her brother."

Felix went dead silent, as if she wasn't even phased compared to sonny who looked confused, "wait what?"

"About time." Fe smirked, "no one can sing sweet transvestite or sexual confusion that well with out feeling the song at least a little."

Raf smirked as ez smiled, "I didn't hide it very well did I?"

Sonny was still speechless as Felix nudged him, "hey, your son is waiting to make sure you didn't just die."

"I actually didn't see that coming."

"To be fair I overlooked it too." Raf shrugged, "happens."

"You ok dad?" Ez looked worried.

"Yeah.... Does that mean...?"

"It was a hate crime. They called us names." Ez nodded, "that's why I told raf, I already told him the other day."

"I can't believe I didn't see that." Sonny shook his head.

"Me either, I was waiting for this." Felix stood and hugged her son, "I love you Ezio Renato... Just don't start wearing tights and women's lingerie."

"I promise I won't." He laughed and kissed her cheek, "love you Mom."

Everyone looked to sonny, "do you need time?" 

"No... No I'm good. Love you Ezio." Sonny hugged his son, "I always will."

"I know dad... Thanks." Ezio said something about laying down for some sleep as sonny left.


Felix


 "So..." Fe turned towards Raf, "you still owe me for earlier."

"After everything that has happened.... I was hoping you'd say that." He stood up, "after you my lovely wife."

"Enjoy the view.... Cause you'll be working to get this if you ever lie to me about my son again."

"Punishing me because I cut him a break?"

"Oh yeah... Lay back. I'm taking lead." She kissed him and pushed him on the bed.

"About time," he smirked as she straddled his lap, "I've been thinking about this for a while."

"Then let's not talk. Clothes off."she popped each button on his shirt and stroked his crotch before unzipping him.

He lifted his hips so she could remove the clothing. He tossed his shirt to the side and watched her kiss down his stomach and chest. It had been too long, between their work and Ezio being there. So now, even with ez sleeping just on the other side of the wall, Felix needed something good. She took one of his pocket squares and matching ties, the tie around his mouth to keep him quiet. The pocket square adjusted in her hand as she pulled him free and wrapped a hand around his hard legnth.

"I never got the point of all these pocket squares. You don't need so many." She smiled and started rubbing it along his stiff friend, "I honestly though you just used them as a hanky. I even imagined you doing this at work when we both got busy.... Does the silk feel good? Is it close to the softness of my mouth, minus the wetness?"

He groaned around the cloth and shook his head no.

"But does it feel good? Am I giving you naughty ideas for work?"

He panted and nodded, a faint "mierda (fuck), feeeeee" being heard against his gag.

"Shhh... I'm not up for Ezio hearing us tonight. So keep quiet." She said sternly, giving a sharp twist as his hips bucked.

She sped up and swiped a thumb over his cock Everytime a little precum escaped. He was turning red trying to hold in all the moans and groans. So she stepped it up, a sharp twist and her tongue running up his slit.

"Feeee!" He muffled out the scream as she sat up and let go.

"Quiet... Or this'll just get worse." She smirked and slapped his hip, "up so I can pull them off."

He lifted his hips and she stripped him the rest of the way, tossing the pocket square aside as she slipped into place. Her pants were on the floor and underwear laying on the edge of the bed. Her top was thrown quickly bra  undid. She lined him up and ran him through her folds, smiling as she watched his eyes pleading and hands turning white in the sheets. She slipped him in, bobbing on him slowly, letting out a soft whine just to tease him more. He was trying so hard to stay quiet, she gave in. Straight down, filling her up completely before moving his hands to her waist.

"I'm going to undo the tie. When I do, you will stay quiet and focus on me. Get me to make a noise and I'll give you the win. If you cum before I make a noise, I get the win." She undid his tie and smiled.

"Si Mami." He whispered back, "this shouldn't take long."

She smirked and reached to grab her underwear, bitting down on them as he shifted his grip to lean her back against his know bent legs. One hand against her stomach, guilding her as he thrusted hard to lift her up. His other immediately found her clitoris, starting up a soft rythm against the thrusting. He was panting, working more then he had in a while, watching her squeeze his knees and try to keep quiet. She pushed the underwear in her mouth and looked down at him as he moved his hand up to her chest, holding her still so he was the only one moving. That did it, she was squirming as he held her still... She wouldn't last much longer.

"That's it.... Just a peep cariño." He whispered as she twisted her face, "let it out."

She tried to glare but it turned pathetic and she let out a soft moan and leaned forward. The sharp turn while he was still moving in her made him blow inside her. Her face was pure Bliss as she leaned down to his, spitting the underwear out before kissing him through their heavy breathing.

"You win." She smiled, "anywhere, anyway, anytime."

"Then you'll need some new lingerie cariño... And you'll want it to hide easy so less is better." He kissed her cheek, "I haven't had office sex in a long time."

"It's your bank account that'll see the bill. Be warned." She whispered and felt her eyes flickered.

"It'll be worth it." He smiled as he felt her heavy against him, with a slow heart beat.

He lifted her face to see she was out cold. He laid her back down and left her as she laid. Still fully inside her, her passed out on his chest as his hands held her tight.... He closed his eyes and smiled, his breath evening out as he slipped under.

Chapter Text

Rafael stood in the DA's office, his heart racing as he pleads to take lead on the case.... Ezio's case. Raf stood Infront of his desk, strong posture and willed as he stared him down.

"I know he is my stepson but the thought of passing a hate crime case like this off to just any ADA is appalling. The amount of press this case could generate alone is a good reason to keep it close to home." 

McCoy shook his head, "it's a good reason to play by the rules. Family is family and you should be removed."

"Like you wouldn't be doing the same?" Raf pushed.

"Co-council." He smirked, "lawful and you still get to be behind that table in court."

"Thank you sir..."

"On one condition... If you need to testify as a witness, it's first thing before you take that seat." He sat down behind his desk, "don't make me regret this."

"Of course not sir." Raf smiled, "thank you."

McCoy waved him off and watched as Raf left. His body calming as he ran back to his office, his phone out to call Liv. He waited a second and smiled.

"Benson."

"Hey Liv, any news on the case yet?" He motioned for Carmen to hold his calls.

"I take it the DA let you stay?" She asked.

"Co-council."

"We found ezio's Friend, he's in critical condition. Doctors are saying he's on a up swing but not giving much more."

"Where?" Rad swallowed at the thought that that could've been ez.

"St. Mary's. ICU....if you tell Ezio, make sure he's prepared for the sight. The boy had quite a bit of surgery and a lot of surface wounds... It's hard to stomach." She sighed, "I seen fin and Amanda to get video surveillance footage."

"And Carisi?"

"I can't put him on this case. He's to close, your to close... But I can tell him no." She gave a slight nudge at those word through the phone.

"I've already been addressed as a witness possibility, I know how to handle it." He took a deep breath, "he can't be called as a witness and all hands will be better. Give him a chance."

"You realize you are talking me into having sonny help you? This really must be big." She jested, "fine... But the smallest thing and he's pulled."

"Thank you.' raf was about to hang up when Liv stopped him.

"Hey wait...." She paused, "everything will be fine."

"Thanks." He hung up and immediately texted ez the hospital and area for his friends room, warning him that it might be better to skip it if he couldn't stomach his injuries.


Sonny


Sonny sat at his desk, he was doing paperwork after failing for the tenth time to get Liv to let him on the case. He was frustrated but stuck, no winning in this case. He was one of the victims father, it would be stupid to let him investigate this. 

Liv called him in the office and had him sit, "Carisi, I'm putting you on this case background only. As of right now, we have two victims and you can assist with one victim."

"Thanks lieu."

"Don't say that just yet. This case still has plenty of catches and I can pull you if I need to." She warned, "now I need you to go to the hospital and check on the patient with me."

Carisi followed Liv out and to the hospital, they walked in as a code was called over the speaker. Nurses ran like crazy past them rushing into the ICU. As they approached the desk, Liv stopped a nurse.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a James Garner."

"I'm sorry, he is in code right now..." She held them Back by the desk.

"What happened?"

"He went into cardiac arrest. The doctors are trying save him now.... Please wait here." She ran in the room and went to help saving the young boy.

Liv and sonny watched from the glass, only a minute later they called a time of death. They both shook their heads and waited for the doctor to come out, they walked with him to the parents to break the news. Their hate crime assault just turned to a murder investigation.


Ezio


Just a hour before, Ezio and Felix stopped in to visit James. He was in a medical coma due to the extent of injury, ez kept backing away afraid to go in. His heart racing at the sight of his friend, he could only think about what should've Happened. That should be me. They went after me, you defended me James. You tried to fight them off, you made me run for help and I listened.... I should've stayed. I should've fought with you... I just left you there and went for help, I just left you... Ez's face twisted as he tried not to cry. He held in tears until his mom seen, then he broke down. She wrapped her arms around his son and squeezed him close.

"It's ok... It's ok. Breath ez, you have to breath." She rubbed his back as he nodded, "you don't have to see him.... You know that right?"

"Yes but... I do. I do have to mom. I owe him that much." Ez pulled back, his small smile as he looked down at her, winning in hieght by five inches.

"Ok, I'll be right here if you need me." She waved him in and waited outside facing away from the glass.

Ez walked in, slowly taking each step. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. There was James. His black hair matted, skin paling where it wasn't bruised or bloody.... He looked like a stranger to the poor boys eye. He didn't recognize the boy who told him to be proud of who he was or said it was ok that he kissed his girlfriends brother. It can't be him... It can't be. He sat down in a chair by the bed, his eyes glued to the boy as he tried to speak. 

"I-i-i-i....I Uhmmm...." He rubbed the back of his neck and finally looked to the floor, "I'm sorry james. I should've helped you.... I should've tried to save you better then I did."

He sighed and looked up, a hand combing through his hair, "I fucked up. I could've saved you..... I could've done something."

The silence was maddening in his head, the boy was in a comma and ez still prayed he would wake up and tell him it's fine. He needed him to say it, not his mom, not his dad, not raf, not the school councilor or his other friends.... James. If james said it, he would be fine. But he knew he couldn't, knew there was no chance and that he was left hoping for the best so he could hear it from James. 

He looked at his thin long fingers, sticking out from the gauze wrapping up his arm from his palm. He bit his lip and rested his hand over his, letting his fall perfectly between his friends. He gave a soft squeeze and laid his head down beside his body in the bed, a soft sob escaping.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry..... I'm sorry for everything. Especially suggesting the club." He sniffled and sat up, "I shouldn't of talked you into this... It's all my fault."

He squeezed tighter on his hand, "I want forgiveness... Not that everyone isn't giving it. But I need it from you."

With still nothing, ez nodded and slowly let go of his hand as he stood up.He watched it fall softly to his stomach....  Wishing it would stop him instead.

He left and walked out to his mom. She hugs him and kiss his cheek, slowly bringing him back from his dark mindset. 

"Let's go home ez, I think that's what you need right now." She walked him out slowly to the car.

"Hey mom," ez finally spoke as they got in the car, "why do I feel like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like shit...." He paused, "sorry."

"No, you earned a few choice words." She sighed, "your feeling guilty."

"Yes." He nodded.

She bit her lip and closed her eyes before turning in off the car, "listen.... What I'm about to tell you was never said. Understand?"

Ez nodded.


Felix


"remember how your dad always talks about bullying. He said he had first hand experience."

"Yeah mom, why?" Ez looked over.

"Well, your dad was badly Injured the one time." Felix looked down, "usually we walked to school together and the one time I don't, this kid shoved his head through glass."

"Seriously?" Ez looked more confused.

"That wasn't even the worst of it... Just the moment that he realized he had to fix it. At one point, he was in the hospital with a cast on his arm and a bruised side.... He had lost a fight with several guys. I went to visit him and couldn't walk into the room for the longest time. I blamed myself."

"Why would it be your fault?"

"I asked him to come take me home from a bad night at my summer job. He didn't want to but I begged and he agreed. The only reason he was out that night was because of me." She sniffled, "in that moment, at 17 years old... I was sure it couldn't get worse. Then after we graduated, it went down hill until I left for California. I swear it started back then, just little things and I wouldn't acknowledge it until later..... I pushed him away you know. I stop trying even though I never told him that. All because I got him seriously injured."

"That wasn't your fault." Ez reached his hand over to take his mom's.

"And this wasn't yours.... Don't blame yourself or you will take forever to fix it." She sighed, "I know."

"What if... What if things were slightly different from the way I told the police. What if I rephrases it so dad wouldn't find out?" Ez looked over.

"Found out what?"

"I was the one that wanted to get into the club, and I bought the fake IDs.... And I might have... Well.... I might have been the one to flirt with the bartender and the guys were targeting me." Ez looked down, "James was defending me and I left him behind to call the police from a pay phone."

"Ezio...."

"Mom I...I...I..."

"Ezio Renato... Tell the truth. I will handle your father..... You have to tell raf and the detectives." Fe nodded, "let's get home.... I need a scotch."

Chapter Text

Ezio went to the precinct, walking in with a fake smile. Amanda was the first one to see him, her smile giving him a little courage.

"Hey Ezio, looking for your dad?"

"No, I was looking for Raf. I texted him and he said to meet here."

"In the office with Liv." Fin pointed over, "does your dad know your here?"

"Probably not. Mom needed to talk to him." He paused, "if he comes in, don't let him go in."

Amanda nodded and waved him over. He took a deep breath and knocked, regaining control over his body slowly as Liv opened the door. She looked for a second confused.

"Ezio. Wasn't expecting you here.... Are you looking for your dad?"

"No for Raf." He looked to the side as raf leaned forward from the couch, "though you should be present for this too."

"Everything ok ez?" Raf frowned, "you sounded concerned on the phone."

"No actually.... Actually I'm not. I told Mom and she told me I had to tell you." Ez dropped his face as raf sighed.

"What's up? Your mom was concerned." Raf nudged him with his shoes, "talk to me."

"I lied a little." Ez felt his chest restrict, "it's all my fault."

Raf looked to Liv as she leaned against the desk, he tugged ez down to sit beside him. Ez sniffled as he continued to look down.

"Hey it's ok, just tell us the truth." 

"It was my idea. I wanted to go to the club, I got us fake IDs, I was hitting on the Bartender.... I accidentally started that fight and James was just defending me. I left him... I just left him." Ez broke down, "I didn't want the police tracing the call to me and I ran to a payphone after I escaped. James is like this because of me."

"Hey, it's ok. Calm. Down......Por favor, sólo la respiración(Please just breath)." Raf motioned Liv to go and she nodded as raf pulled ez into a hug, "it's ok ez..... But I have to tell you something."

Ez nodded as raf took a deep breath, "James is dead. He died almost a hour ago."

Ez broke down crying as raf tried to shush him, "it's ok."

 "No it's not, James is dead. I fucking killed him." Ez whimpered as tears fell, raf squeezing him close.

"You didn't kill him."

"I might as well have. He protects me and I leave him to use a payphone." 

"You did what you had to to save him and yourself. You did good ez."

Ez shook his head and cried into raf's shoulder.

"Ez listen, it doesn't change the case. The details are the same except you are the focus. But, we need to put you in protective custody.... James didn't die from complications we're pretty sure." Raf smiled as ez pulled back.

"Someone killed him." 

"Yeah, that's what the autopsy turned up." 

"How much trouble am I in?" Ez looked up slowly.

"I don't know, but we'll make it through this." Raf gave him one more hug before deciding it was close enough to quitting time to drive him home.


Sonny


Liv had told sonny to go see what Felix needed as they had left the hospital with word that James was murdered. cardiac arrest due to a over does of potassium. She was heading back to talk to Barba and see what they had in evidence for a warrant on the current suspect the bartender gave. 

Sonny walked into Felix's apartment, she hugged him tight as he sighed.

"Hey sonny."

"Hi lux." He sat down on the couch and stole some of her chips from her plate, "what's up?"

"First off, this counts as your lunch.... Doesn't?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I'm making you a plate then."

"You don't have t...."

"Shut up yes I do." She started a plate for him, "but anyways, it's about ez." 

"Is he ok? Did he freak out when you found out?" Sonny fidgeted.

"Found out what?"

"You don't know?" Sonny stood up and walked over to look Felix in the eyes, "James died. The nurses think he got a shot of potassium that sent him into cardiac arrest."

"He's dead." Fe dropped the knife and looked up worried.

"Lux calm down, no one even knows ez is part of this."

"But they do... If it's the guys from the club they do." She took deep breaths as he watched her panic set in.

"Lux breath easy. Chill dude." Sonny frowned, "what's going on?"

"Ezio lied a little. He was the one that wanted to go, and get the fake IDs, and flirted with the bartender.... He was the reason the fight broke out." She looked up, "if they killed James to hide the assault, what would they do to ez?"

"Nothing. They will do nothing to ez." Sonny pulled her into a hug, "nothing will happen to Ezio. I refuse to let it."

"But you can't be with him all the time. Nor I or raf..." She looked terrified, "oh my God."

"Hey no... Nothing is happening to him. I swear on it lux. Nothing is happening to our son." 

"Sonny this isn't a case, this is our boy. He is my life.... You can't promise things like that, it doesn't work!" She pushed him back, "my boy."

She started to tear up, a anger hitting her as sonny finally stepped back. He let her rage a moment, let her breath after she threw a few things. She wiped her face.

"Why the hell is this happening?" She looked up, pleading for a answer as sonny shook his head.

"Wish I knew."


Rafael


Rafael had droze Ezio home and calmed down Felix. Sonny said he was staying for the moment to watch them while a detail was being set up. So raf returned to work, he went to the precinct and found Liv and the rest of the squad.

"What do we have?"

"We have a name." Amanda sighed, "seems to be a fake name though."

"Anything else?"

"A security camera caught the intial exchange in the club. Matches ezio's revised story." Fin looked up, "how is he?"

"Scared. His friend was just murder and he blames himself."

"Then let's get this guy." Liv looked over, "warrant for the surrounding buildings In The alley. Bartender said the guy lived close."

"It's a stretch.... But I'll try. " Raf nodded, "let's end this before it gets worse."

Raf walked outside and drove to a judges house. Since it was late he knew this wouldn't be easy, so his first stop will hopefully be the easiest... Judge flowers.