Work Text:
"You guys are unbelievable, just- unbelievable!" Eliot huffed, and slumped back with his hip against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed, and glowered.
"Is he still going on about that hidden money thing?" Hardison asked Parker absentmindedly as he continued tapping away at a laptop.
"Mhmm." Parker nodded next to him on the couch, humming in agreement around the apple she had caught between her front teeth, keeping her hands free to untangle the pile of rope in her lap.
"You don't just go finding hidden money and giving it away without at least telling a guy first."
"Man," Hardison said with a smirk. "You have got to let that go-"
"He's just overcompensating," Parker interrupted him and, shoving the apple back in her mouth, held a particularly large knot up to the light and narrowed her eyes at it.
Eliot blinked and spread his hands helplessly. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Yeah, what is that supposed to mean?" Hardison echoed, looking up from his computer for the first time all evening.
Parker huffed a sigh through her nose, dumped the rope onto the floor, and took the apple out of her mouth.
"Eliot's embarrassed that he missed us going to look for the money because he was too busy watching Tara," Parker said, punctuating the end of her sentence with a crunch, and bounced to her feet.
"Wait, what?"
Hardison started laughing. "Eliot and Tara? No way, nu uh. No way, no how."
Parker just shrugged and swung herself over the back of the couch, bounding into the kitchen and sticking her head in the cupboard. She pulled cereal boxes out one by one, frowned, and shoved them back in haphazardly while Eliot spluttered behind her.
"Dammit, Parker, use the bin," Eliot grumbled, picking up her apple core gingerly by the stem and tossing it away. "And I wasn't watching Tara!"
"Yes you were. It was cute. Why don't we have toffee apples?"
"Because most people don't stock their cupboards with toffee apples," Hardison called, turning to watch them.
"It is not cute! There isn't anything cute about-"
"They should. Can we get toffee apples delivered?"
"Not without paying ridiculous amounts of money, no," Hardison drawled, rolling his eyes. "Which, by the way, I could easily arrange, but we all know how you feel about money."
Parker frowned and thought about it for a moment, then pouted. "But I want both. Can't I have both?"
"Could we please return to the more important topic here? Namely Parker's ridiculous idea-"
"Well, you could, but you'll have to be the one to tell Nate that he has to find a new apartment because I charged a fake credit card for home delivery."
Parker's shoulders slumped and her pout deepened as she dragged herself back across the room. Collapsing against the couch, she heaved herself up to perch on the arm with her back to Hardison, and looked at Eliot with sad eyes and a quivering lip.
"But I really wanted a toffee apple," she said sadly, and let herself fall backwards.
Hardison yelled and scrambled underneath her, shoving his laptop further down the couch just in time to get a lap full of Parker without breaking anything.
"Dammit, Parker! Do you have any idea how much this equipment costs?" Hardison yelped, hands in the air as he looked down at her.
"Um, a lot?" she said with her eyebrows raised, and bit her lip.
"A lot? A lot? That's a-"
"Would you shut up about your precious computers for a minute," Eliot said, following in Parker's footsteps to stand over them and point at Parker accusingly. "I need you to explain her warped mind to me."
Hardison shook his head at the rest of the empty room, rolled his eyes towards the ceiling and mouthed wordless expletives, then dropped his head and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. Hard.
"Just admit it already, man," he said, watching Parker watch him back when he opened his eyes. "I mean, have you seen yourself whenever she gets in a fight?"
"No," Eliot snarled. "No I have not, what with my eyes being inside my head and all!"
"Well. I have to agree with Parker, it is kind of cute."
"Quit it with the cute thing!"
"You get all chivalrous," Parker giggled, and wiggled around to get more comfortable, swinging her feet off the end of the couch. "More chivalrous than usual, I mean."
"Oi, stop that," Hardison muttered. Parker paused and looked him in the eye, and then wiggled again slowly and blinked up at him.
"Oh for gods sake," Eliot groaned, and turned away, a hand splayed across his face. "Can you two not do your mating dance in front of me, please?"
"Mating dance?" Hardison's head shot up, his eyes wide. "What mating dance? Hang on a minute, there is no-"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I need a drink," Eliot said, grabbing his jacket and heading out the door.
"Say hello to Tara for me!" Parker called from Hardison's lap, provoking a rude gesture from Eliot before he slammed the door.
