It was an amusing sight to behold. Wilson could barely walk down the halls of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital; he had never felt so uncomfortable before in his life. They were all eyeing him suspiciously. He hadn't been stared down this harshly since House had spread rumours that he was the reason Nurse Salfield's marriage fell apart.
And so House sat quite comfortably on one of the benches and watched the scene with a sense of perverse satisfaction at the expense of his friend.
It served Wilson right for going ahead and writing a novel. What had gotten into him? Everyone and their grandmother was writing books these days.
House laughed inwardly. And it hadn't even been a very good book. The main character (very obviously based upon Wilson himself) was highly charismatic and overly friendly with everyone he met. There wasn't a person in the (book) world that didn't love him.
That also meant there wasn't a single character who wasn't head-over-heels in love with him as well.
But in the usual dramatic flair of any cheesy novel, fictional-Wilson had met his match in a strong-willed, intelligent woman, tables turned with the Casanova at a loss for words.
House was only willing to hypothesize so far. There was no way he had been willing to dabble too long in Wilson's fantasies. But apparently the rest of the hospital staff felt the need to deconstruct every part of Wilson's work. They were also not fooled by the fact that the work was labelled "fictional".
House's thoughts were cut short as he watched Dr. Cameron walk up towards Wilson.
"Dr. Wilson, how are you today?" Cameron smiled warmly at the older doctor.
"Um, I'm alright." Wilson lied. "How are you?"
"Oh, I'm doing well." She eyed him cautiously. "So, I read your book." She added casually.
"You did?" Wilson muttered half-heartedly. He wanted to crawl into an exam room and never leave.
"I loved it. I really, really did." Cameron batted her eyes at Wilson coquettishly and he blanched.
"What are you doing, Cameron?"
"Well, you know…the woman, Hope, she was obviously your interpretation of me." She explained.
Wilson's cheeks reddened and House refused to stifle his laughter. Wilson shot him an irritated look and turned back to Cameron, speechless.
"It was me, wasn't it Wilson?" She looked up at him insistently.
Wilson quickly scanned the premises, looking for anything to save him from the awkward situation. He spotted Cuddy and called out to her.
She walked towards Cameron and Wilson and gave him a puzzled look. "What's wrong, Dr. Wilson?"
Wilson finally found his words. "Tell Cameron that Hope is not based on her."
Cuddy gave Cameron a bemused look. "You actually thought Wilson's character was supposed to be you?" Cuddy laughed. "You have a bit of a way to go, Cameron."
"So what, you think Hope is based on you, Cuddy?" Cameron shot back sourly.
"Probably…" Cuddy replied, locking her eyes on a very shocked Wilson. "She's strong, she's confident, she's intelligent, I'd say it's pretty obvious who it's supposed to be."
"Cuddy, it's not you either!" Wilson sputtered out.
Cuddy lowered her voice. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." She winked at Wilson playfully.
"Look." Wilson exhaled deeply. "Can you both just accept the fact that Hope was not based on either of you and leave me alone? Please?"
House watched Cameron and Cuddy turn away in bewilderment and exasperation (respectively) and wondered if the rest of the hospital had been lucky enough to witness the entertaining conversation. He would never let Wilson live this one down.
Wilson eventually made his way towards House and took a seat next to him.
"Thanks for all of your help back there." Wilson greeted House.
"You all looked like you were having so much fun. Why would I want to interrupt?"
"Right." Wilson grumbled.
House hid the smile he wore on his face. Casually, he looked back at Wilson and spoke. "So, I was just thinking about it, and I distinctly remember this one chapter where Hope mentions watching the L-Word…"
Wilson looked at House in shock. "You actually read my novel?"
"Part of it."
Wilson turned away in slight panic.
"You switched the gender." House noted.
Wilson gaped at him.
"Nice way to throw off the scent." House commended, a glint in his eye.
Wilson sighed. "Yeah." He admitted.
House grinned evilly. "Brilliant."