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a drunkard's dream (if I ever did see one)

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To say that Tony cut this girl from the herd is kind of an inappropriate thing to say. Pepper would frown and say that he was being very disrespectful, but mostly there just isn't much of a herd. The brunette one is pointedly and very poorly feigning disinterest in that "Please seduce me, Tony" way that he just doesn't have time for tonight, the redhead is drunk, the other brunette one is about to get snapped up by this gorgeous, frankly scary Amazon who seems to have swooped in from nowhere, and the blonde just looks like she wants to call a cab and go home. The black-headed one across the way, though, is giving him those "Shit, it's Tony Stark, I hope he wants to fuck me" looks when she thinks he isn't looking.

Game on.

It takes him a minute to actually catch her eye; he keeps having to move his head, because every time she realizes he's looking at her she turns away. When he finally catches her, he beckons her over. She looks shocked, but to her credit, she doesn't do that "Who, me?" thing, just gets while the getting's good.

She sits down next to him, and he turns towards her. "Hi," he says, smiling winningly- not that he doesn't always smile winningly.

"Hi," she says, tucking her hair behind her ear even though it's already tucked. She looks a little nervous, but the grand total of people Tony doesn't make at least a tiny bit nervous is, like, ten.

He looks down at her shoes. "You're wearing flats," he says disapprovingly.

"Is there something wrong with flats?" she asks, and some of the nervousness is dissipating. He likes that; making people nervous is fun, but it's not the kind of fun he wants to have tonight.

"I have this whole thing where I look at your shoes and ask if they're fuck-me-pumps," Tony tells her.

"Has that ever worked?" she asks.

He gives her a patient look. "Do you know who I am? Anything I say would work on someone."

"So you go with 'Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" she says.

He grins. "They might be flats, but you're still wearing nice shoes." She shakes her head, and he moves closer, close enough that their knees touch. "If you come home with me and we fuck, my girlfriend's going to chew me out," Tony says. He pauses for effect. "Then she's going to eat you out."

That's what separates the men from the boys- proverbially speaking, they haven't actually brought a guy home yet, negotiations continue- the frankness of it, the lack of apology. Sometimes he gets revulsion, sometimes he goes home wearing an overpriced cocktail, but he knows very quickly where they stand.

This girl's eyebrows go up, but she looks very intrigued. "Really?"

"Really well, I'm told," Tony says, sliding his hand up her thigh.

She catches his hand. "I'm not letting you feel me up in public," she says primly; given the circumstances, he wants to bust out laughing, but he keeps it together. "Take me home."

Tony grins at her, standing up and holding out a hand. "What was it? Mandy? Mimi?"

"You never actually asked me," she says, only looking a little annoyed, which was of course Tony's goal. She lets him help her up. "It's Kim."

"Kim," he repeats, escorting her out, a hand on the small of her back to lead her on. "I'll try to remember that at least for a couple hours."

Tony is polite enough to brief her before they get to the car, mostly because it's really annoying to get halfway to the Tower and have to go all the way back to the club because somebody doesn't want to ride bareback. Then they get to the car, and he wastes not a single second in getting into her pants. She's still nervous, a little hesitant; he pulls her into his lap, leaning her back against his chest, kissing her neck as he slides his hand beneath the waistband of her panties.

"Relax," he says. Despite her nerves, she's already wet, and she gasps as he pushes a finger inside of her, fucking her slowly with it. "I've got you covered."

He's already made her come once by the time they roll to a stop at the Tower. It's a little known fact of taking random women home that the car fingering is extremely important- very good at breaking the ice, very gratifying to see her legs shake when she steps back out onto terra firma. He nods at Happy, and Happy nods back, pulling out his cell phone to text Pepper. Tony intends to be loud enough to make her pay attention, because Tony intends to be loud enough to wake the goddamn dead if that's what it takes, but if Pepper doesn't join in, this will just be a quick fuck, not what he really wants.

He takes Kim to the bedroom; it's not Tony and Pepper's Bedroom, because that's against the rules, but this is the one that has pretty much turned into Tony and Pepper's Room For Fucking Other People. Once they're inside, Tony gets her naked just about as fast as he can without tearing her clothes. To her credit, she gives as good as she gets, though she might have actually popped one of the buttons on Tony's shirt in her haste.

She pushes Tony back onto the bed and climbs on top of him, straddling him. "You really show great initiative," Tony says.

"Just as long as I don't have to be a self-starter," she says, grinding down against him, making him groan. It's a shame these are one-night-only deals, because he likes this one; her attitude appeals to him greatly.

"I don't think that'll be necessary," he says, urging her up and getting them in the right position. She drops down slowly on his cock, taking him easily. She's hot and tight, just perfect for his cock; he really made a great choice, and Pepper's sure to agree.

She rocks against him for a moment, getting used to it before she starts moving up and down on him, a hand on his chest to brace herself. Tony wraps his hands around her hips, happy to give her all the help she needs if she'll keep doing what she's doing. It's damn good, but Tony's tense, ready for it; this is fine, but it's gonna get so much better.

"Tony?" Pepper calls from another room, and Tony bites his lip.

"Don't worry," he tells Kim, voice soft.

Pepper appears in the doorway moments later. "What the hell is going on in here?" he shouts, and despite Tony's advice, Kim freezes up.

"Nothing?" Tony says, his hands on Kim's hips as he lazily rolls his hips up, thrusting into her slowly, like Pepper's not going to see if he's subtle enough about it.

"I'm so sorry," Kim says, desperately worried. "I thought that-"

"I'm not talking to you," Pepper snaps. "You," she says to Tony. "You can't keep it in your pants for one night? I can't leave you alone for a fucking second without finding you with your dick in some random girl."

"Come on, Pep," Tony says. "Please?"

"Please?" she repeats, sounding so disgusted that Tony wonders if she actually is pissed off. "You get off him right now," she tells Kim, unbuttoning her shirt, and Tony breathes a sigh of relief. He's aware that this is the part of the fantasy that doesn't make any fucking sense at all, but as long as everybody's into them, fantasies don't have to make sense.

Pepper's unzipping her skirt now, letting it fall to the floor, and Kim carefully climbs off of Tony. Tony reaches out for her, and Pepper slaps his hand. "You want her so bad?" she says. "That's just too bad for you, because I'm not going to let you touch her. You've had enough."

Pepper's finally naked, and she crawls onto the bed, pushing Tony out of the way. Kim visibly relaxes when Pepper pulls her into a kiss, even though it's rough and biting. Pepper pushes Kim down onto the bed, shoving her legs apart so she can get between them; she bends down over her to kiss her, caging her in with her arms. Pepper's so sexy when she gets all dominant on people, Tony definitely included, but this is clearly dominant Pepper at its finest. Kim's certainly eating it up, writhing underneath her. She moves her hips, trying to find anywhere to grind against Pepper, and Pepper shoves her into the mattress, pinning her there and forcing her to take what she's given.

When Pepper finally lets her up, Kim looks dazed, her lips swollen from being kissed that hard by someone so determined. Pepper moves down her body, spreading Kim's legs wide. "Is this what you wanted so much?" Pepper asks, pushing a finger into her, moving it in and out of her as she glares at Tony. "This is what you couldn't resist? Well, it's mine now, so you can just get over it."

With that, she lowers her head to Kim's pussy; Tony doesn't know what she does, but Kim's eyes roll back in her head. Tony's going to have to convince Pepper that it's in her best interests to instruct him, because by all measures she is way better at this than he is. In a few minutes she has Kim screaming, clawing at the bedsheets, begging for more.

If there is a hotter thing on this earth than what he's watching right now, may he never find it, because it'd fucking kill him.

Tony feels like he could come just watching Pepper take her apart, driving her so out of her mind that she can't remember her own name anymore. He doesn't touch himself, even though he has to literally sit on his hands to resist it, because that's not part of the game; he's decidedly in time-out, stuck there at Pepper's leisure.

Kim is a very lucky woman, because she's the only person here who's actually getting off; Pepper makes her come and doesn't stop, so Kim doesn't stop either, peaking over and over as the feeling keeps rolling through her. The only time Tony thinks he lost in the genetic lottery is when he sees a woman have multiple orgasms. Here Tony is stuck with all the sex he can handle and his stupid lazy dick, which takes its sweet time getting back up for a second run.

"I can't," Kim says finally, batting weakly at Pepper's shoulder, and Pepper lets up on her, stroking her thigh gently.

"Well, I learned my lesson," Tony says. "Whatever it was." Pepper just rolls her eyes fondly at him before turning her attention back to Kim. Pepper lays down beside her, pulling her into her arms, because they always need a minute after they've been thoroughly Peppered. If it were up to Tony, he'd probably kick her ass out, because old habits die hard, but then Pepper wouldn't touch him, and it'd all just end horribly for Tony.

"Are you okay?" Pepper asks Kim after a few minutes, petting her hair.

Kim sighs before speaking. "Yeah, I think I'm pretty good," she says.

"We're going to go," Pepper says, sitting up. "When you're ready, there's a car waiting to take you anywhere you'd like to go." Kim nods. Pepper leans down and kisses her softly. "We're glad you joined us. Thank you."

"My pleasure, seriously," Kim says, still a little breathless.

Pepper smiles at her, nodding at Tony, and Tony does his best not to bolt from the bed. "Had a great time," he says distractedly as he follows Pepper out.

He actually does bolt after that, snagging Pepper by her wrist and dragging her into Their Bedroom, because that's where the game ends. As usual, they don't make it to the bed; Pepper falls back against the wall and pulls him against her, kissing him hard and deep. She tastes so good, and Tony looks for more, exploring her mouth like he's never kissed her before, like it's brand new. He hitches her legs up, putting them around his waist, and they both groan as he pushes inside of her.

"Goddammit, that was so fucking hot," Tony pants. "You're so fucking good."

She laughs. "I thought you liked me when I was bad."

"Good at being bad," he tells her. "All goes together to make sexy as hell."

Neither of them have it in them to talk after that, too busy fucking each other's brains out to pay attention long enough to do it. Pepper's not loud when she comes; all she does is gasp, clenching around him, digging her fingernails into his back. She shakes hard enough that he has to hold her still, thrusting into her just a few more times until he hits it, clutching at her like he'll die if he doesn't, like he'll just fall apart if she's not there to keep him together.

So, just like all the time.

After an eternity, he finally sets her down, and they sort of mutually carry each other to the bed, collapsing into it. "Remind me why we don't do that every weekend," he says.

"It wouldn't be as fun," she tells him.

"Too true," he says. "We should send that girl some flowers."

"Do you know her name?" she asks.

"Kim," he says, shutting his eyes. "I promised her I'd remember."

He can practically hear Pepper raise her eyebrow. "For how long?"

"As long as I needed to," he replies, yawning. "You'd better write it down. I'm done with it."

"You're such a gentleman," Pepper says dryly.

"I'll never forget your name," Tony says.

"You're afraid of what I'd do to you if you did," she tells him.

"I'm afraid of what you might not do to me," he says, flinching in anticipation before she smacks him on the arm. She kisses him on the forehead, though, so he must have done something right.

Best girlfriend in the history of ever.